A/N:This is baisically a one shot, it has a companion piece from B's POV that i'll post up soon.
Summary: Faith's thoughts as she watches over Buffy from outside her window.
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Don't own BTVS
These thoughts of you
You would expect her vampire boy toy would be the one here. Hell, even I expected to run into his tall, dark, and moping ass the first time I climbed up this damn tree. Luckily I didn't, I don't exactly wantFangboy up here with me.
Yeah sure, you can go ahead and call me a peeping Tom; I'd be inclined to tell you to go fuck yourself. I'm not doing this to get off, not even I am into that. Not with B anyway. This is just the only way I can actually see her, when she won't look at me like a lesser person. When I can just admire things about her, without having to accompany them with some stupid innuendo I pull out of my ass, after getting caught. Not that I don't like flirting with her, I love to ruffle her feathers.
It disgusts me how her friends and Fang don't relies how lucky they are. How Red can just go up to her and hug her out of nowhere, for no reason. How Angel could kiss her whenever he wanted, and she would let him. How Xan can just talk to her about things, that have nothing to do with slaying.
Why can't we be that close? Why does she think I tried to 'take her life away from her'? What the fuck did I do? I didn't 'take' her friends; I tried to get to know them. I didn't 'take' her slaying, everyone still sees her as the slayer. Fifty percent of the vamps I fight don't even knowI'm a slayer, till their ass is blowing in the wind. I didn't 'take' her watcher from her, I didn't 'take' her Ma, I didn't 'take' her big broody boyfriend. I didn't take jackshit. Pft, whatever.
I just need to be the good little lap dog that I am and stay in my doghouse, till mistress B whistles for me. Then I'll come running, as always.
Still, can't help but make the mooneyes at her. Ever since I first saw her, she's been having a staring role in the majority of my thoughts. Kinda funny, if you think about it, the one person who always makes me feel second best will always be the first in my mind. Yeah, I'm in love with her. Yeah, I'd do just about anything just to see her smile at me. Hell, just to look at me how she looks at SoulBoy. That lucky bastard.
I've thought about leaving. I've thought about just catching the next greyhound that'll take me as far, as the bills in my pocket will get me. My plan stops there though, whenever I try to think ahead it feels like I'm lying to myself. I already know what I'd do if I left. I'd somehow find myself right back here.
Gluttons for punishment, fool for love, lap dog, lovesick moron. I don't give a shit what you call me. Even if B will never love me back, these thoughts of her will always be fucking around in my head. And I will always be near by, watching her, making sure she's always got someone there for her. Even if she doesn't know it.
A/N: So what you guys think? I'll try to have part 2 up soon. Thanks for reading!