The Dreams

I'd fallen to sleep so quickly, so contentedly, so at peace among my friends (we were all sleeping in Tohru-chan's rather large bed; Shigure-san must be nice to her) that I never expected to have any dreams. Had I been aware, in my dream-state, that it was a dream, I'd have been surprised. Probably.

It started out in the school hallway. . . .

To my intense irritation, I was lost. How? It was only a high school! But still, every winding hallway looked the same, and, in the mass of neutral white and tiled floors, I was feeling claustrophobia creeping up on me, and, as my heartbeat quickened, my pace did as well.

Soon, I was running--now sprinting--through the maze of halls, and suddenly, my one-track mind registered the ottering pile of books in my arms, a waving tower of papers and binders and reference and such. And, still sprinting, now balancing the giant stack, it finally registered the huge weight of it all. And I slipped on nothing except the tiled floor, and the books and papers crashed to earth. I fell on my back, hard, heavy books falling on top of me. I pushed them off and got back on my knees, and found, to my astonishment, and, much more, to my embarrassment, that Yuki-san was standing there.

I turned bright red, and tried to gather my books, but there were too many. I didn't want Yuki-san to see me like this, crawling on the floor to gather all the books I'd dropped. I stammered, no idea what I was saying, apologies and explanations and greetings, all in a garbled mess of words.

"Ah! Y-Yuki-san, I-er, I-" I was losing my breath. What was happening? I was lost, trying to explain my awkward behavior. "Sorry, Yuki-san, I dropped m-my . . . ah. . . Yuki-san!"

Yuki-san had turned away from me, probably embarrassed to be near me, and was walking away, down the endless hallways. Did he know the way out?

"Yuki-san! Wait!" I tried to catch up, so that we could find our way out together. But he didn't slow down for me, and I frantically tried to gather the books. "Wait!" I repeated. But he left me there in the hallway, and for some reason, tears picked the corners of my eyes. He left me alone without a second thought.

I ditched my books, sprinting as fast as I could, and I caught up to him! But when he turned around, his face frightened me. It was an anguished loathing, just like when I first met Sohma Kyo, that dominated his yes.

And then the dream changed. . . .

He wasn't Yuki-san anymore. His silver eyes had turned orange, matching his now-orange hair. He was Kyo-san now. I backed away a few steps and swung my eyes around, looking for Yuki-san. Kyo-san stood stock-still, a frozen expression on his face, but I had no curiosity to spare for him.

I finally caught sight of a pair of handsome silver eyes--but they were on the face of . . . a mouse. No, a rat! a little rodent, with the same now gentle eyes that Yuki-san always had. They were fixed, wide and scared, on Kyo-san. I looked back.

A pair of black-and-white beads lay at his feet. He seemed to be trembling. His pupils were dialated, and there was fear on his face when he turned his eyes on me. And suddenly . . . he wasn't Kyo-san anymore.

He was a giant, grotesque, reptilian monster! His eyes had become larger, and his irises had become red, his pupils reduced to scared, menacing slits. The familiar smell of rotting flesh reached my nostrils. He lept away, down the hallway, And I just stood there wanting to throw up, but unable to feel my mouth. I suddenly realised that Yuki-san, who I had somehow come to the revelation was the rat, had disappeared as well.

I was alone in the hallway again.

My eyes opened to the light of a new day, and I knew vaguely that I was alone in Tohru-chan's bed. I lay, panting, afraid to fall asleep again, and got up and pulled on some fresh clothes. . . .

Sohma Shigure was feeling on edge. He'd thought he'd made a good show of acting natural in fron of Minoru-kun, but he wasn't sure if he'd be able to stop himself from pulling out his hair for very long. This was odd for Shigure; he was usually a very calm, cool and collected person. But his life was now much more complicated than it was a week ago, even with the whole Sohma curse--whenever he was hugged by someone of the opposite sex, he would turn into a dog. Or when he was very stressed. As he was now. But he had good control over that part of him right now.

What was she doing in his house?! That did really seem stupid--what better way to remind her all of the things that it was most important that she forgot? This was all for her emotional and mental well-being. What if she remembered?

He remembered his meeting with Akito yesterday. He couldn't lie to Akito. He had to tell her about Minoru-kun. And he hated himself for it. Because he knew that Yuki didn't want to be seperated again. Ha didn't know how Yuki would react to being transfered to another school again, just to run away from someone that he cares about--the same someone that he cares about.

Shigure knew. He was smart, and he was observant, and he knew that Yuki harbored attatchments to Minoru-kun. Would he have to choose whose well-being he was going to protect? He remembered the cheerful Minoru-kun, the one from before. . . .

Akito's reaction to the news of Tohru-kun's new friend surprised Shigure. Akito didn't lose her temper. She didn't demand that Tohru-kun be kicked out of Shigure's house, nor did she order that Yuki and Kyo be transfered to a different high school.

"She's come back?" she sneered, a look of disgust on her face. "That complicates things, I suppose. . . . Well, if she remembers anything about Kyo's true form, I doubt she'll love Yuki. Not judging by how she reacted. . . . last time. . . ."

Shigure didn't flinch, but his insides felt kind of hollow.

Shigure had had a close relationship with Minoru-kun. She never had a father, and spent so much time around Yuki, and it was hard not to become attatched. No, he didn't treat her like a daughter, and he teased her just like he would anyone else, but deep down, he couldn't deny it, he cared for her, like a member of his own family, and he'd never wanted anything to happen to her, at leats nothing like the incident with Kyo. He never odjected to erasing her memory after she'd become depressed after seeing Kyo's true form. He wanted her and Yuki to be happy together, but he did care for her. He didn't want her to have to endure the pain of the revelation either.

"If she remembers Kyo's true form," Akito continued,"she will probably be emotionally damaged again." She said this in a bored, nonchalant kind of way, and the hollow feeling in Shigure's stomach became a bit more uncomfortable. "She'll probably want to leave. To run away. And we will let her." Her face was distinctly cold. "We should have never let her into our lives. "She'll just have to live with the pain she asks for."

So Shigure was to do nothing at all, and, sitting in his study, this seemed sadistic. How could he just sit by and watch Minoru-kun hurt herself?

I'd left Shigure-san's house some twenty minutes ago, and was walking home to my apartment. I'd just parted ways with Arisa and Saki, and it had been an awkward walk.

I wondered if Yuki-san noticed how I couldn't meet is eyes this morning. Or how I couldn't be in the same room as Kyo-san without trembling. The dream had just been . . . so real. Not one of those dreams that you forget by the next day, but the kind of dream that stays etched in my memory, lke it had happened to me again last night.

But it couldn't be real. I knew that. Kyo-san could not be a monster, like I'd seen in the dream. But I wondered, my curiosity burning in my mind, what would happen if I took off his beads? I shuddered.

And what about rat-Yuki? Was my imagination particularly active last night? But somehow, the face of that rat that I knew was Yuki, somehow it seemed so familiar. Where had I seen it before.

I was confused. That hazy part of my mind had gotten some sunshine. . . . but now I was having odd nightmares. What did it mean?

I was at my apartment complex. I opened the door and stepped inside calling to see if my mother was home. It was Sunday morning, after all. She shouldn't be working until later.

"Mom? I'm home!" My voice seemed to echo in the tiny apartment.

"Minoru-chan!" My mom was here. She came out of the kitchen, her chocolate brown hair waving behind her, her emerald eyes the same exact shade as mine. She was actually a very pretty woman, tall and willowy, even if she was a mother. She was young for a mother of a teenager, anyway. My heart sank as I noticed her bag over her shoulder.

"Going somewhere?" I asked, trying to sound polite. I thought I'd be able to spend time with my mother for once.

"I gotta go to work, honey," she chided gently. "Sorry, Minoru-chan. I have to work early today. Sorry." And with that, she swept right past me, out the door to her job that she had to do because of me.

I knew it was true. If I'd not been born, she'd have finished high school, and maybe college, too. Mom usually discouraged me from thinking these thoughts. . . .

But she couldn't really comfort me. No one could in this home that was empty far too often. I missed the times when, in my old school, I could be with friends when I was feeling lonely. But Tohru-chan was far too busy nowadays to spend time with anyone outside of school, and Saki and Arisa only hung out with me because Tohru-chan insisted upon it. I sighed and sat on the sofe, my hands on my lap.

Outside the window, one bird sang a hopeful song. Just one bird.