Warning: Swearing, bad cliché comedy and a little SasuNaru yaoi love. Um, and apparently Naru-chan is fifteen, Sasuke is sixteen, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

No owning of Naruto by me... :(

Wow, I am really sorry, time just got away from me. I have no excuse. If anyone is still reading this, I am updating because I promised I would finish it and I'm just hoping it doesn't suck.

Oh How I Hate You… Let Me Count the Ways

Sasuke snickered, arching his eyebrow, "At least I'm not an idiot who can only like imaginary people, like you."

"Hey! I do not like imaginary people I only liked him after I saw him getting interviewed one time! I'm never drinking with you again! You're such a fucker, I hate you!"

"Whatever," Sasuke stomped off, slamming the door behind him.

Naruto sat there for a few seconds with a very angry look on his face, then he seemed to snap out of it. "Dammit!" He said before he ran off after his pissed off friend.

Everyone left in the room looked at each other; silently asking each other, what the fuck just happened?

Chapter 5

I Hate That You Didn't Call

"Sasuke!" Naruto shouted at a retreating back as the black haired young man darted around the crowd at the pool, heading out the back gate toward the gravel road to town. Naruto kicked in the extra speed and caught his quarry just as he rounded the bend so the house was out of sight. "What the fuck Sasuke! I know you're pissed off but you could at least talk to me!"

"What, are we dating now? Oh that's right, why would we? You're only interested in imaginary people." Sasuke seemed to be searching his face for some anticipated reaction, a futile endeavor he seemed to realize as he soon gave up and twirled around to stalk off in a huff.

"What the fuck are you even talking about?! And where the fuck are you going anyway? Your car's out front."

Spinning back around, he glared at Naruto with his I'm-pissed-but-you're-too-stupid-to-know-why glare number five, "I'm well aware of where my fucking car is Naruto! And I'm going for a walk, I'm too drunk to drive anyway." Sasuke sighed dragging a hand through his hair in exasperation, "I don't know why I even fucking try. I'll be back in a couple hours."

Naruto stared after him, stunned and confused, a predicament he had often experienced since the bastard entered his life not long ago. His lips pursed in concentration as he tried to understand what the hell Sasuke was so upset about, sure he'd lied to him and now they were at a loud party but all this seemed like an overreaction. The wheels in his head turned and turned, achieving no grip on the magic frictionless ice of his intellect. He finally gave up, wandering off in search of help. Help by the name of Gaara.

He found his friend upstairs, sitting really close to their friend Lee on the couch, "Can I talk to you about something?" he asked Gaara quietly.

He gave Lee a quick squeeze on the shoulder and whispered something in his ear, which was a bit weird but whatever, they walked outside where there was less noise and more privacy. "So what's up?" Gaara asked as he hooked his thumbs in the side pockets of his baggy black jeans.

Biting his lip, Naruto looked at the floor gathering his courage, "Sasuke's really pissed off at me and I don't know why." He said quickly before he changed his mind.

"What did he say?"

"Something about dating and me only liking imaginary people, he was in desperate need of a walk apparently… said he'd be back in a couple hours… I have no idea what's going on."

Wide blue eyes locked with blank crystal green ones, "Well you did lie to him about the Harry Potter marathon right?"

"But, I already apologized for that! It has to be something else."

"He said, you only like imaginary people?"

"Yeah, and I don't know what the fuck that's about at all."

"Did you mention anyone imaginary?"

Realization dawned on Naruto's face, he blushed slightly, "Well I mentioned jerking off to thoughts of Draco Malfoy from Harry Potter, but why would that matter? I talk to you about it and you've never gotten pissed off, not about that anyway."

"Yeah, but I don't have a thing for you Naruto."

"What?! NO way! Sasuke does not have a thing for me, he's so… and I'm," He motioned towards himself.

"Yes… well, he does, and it's apparent to everyone but you. Well… everyone being me, Kiba, Shika, Lee, and Neji which is everyone important really."

Naruto's mind was blown, to think that his super sexy friend had a crush on him? And Kiba realized it before he did? The world was ending, it was too insane to even contemplate.

"You should find him and tell him that you are completely in love with him." Gaara continued

"But… What if I'm not…" He trailed off.

"Come on Naruto, this is also obvious to everyone."

Naruto looked at his feet, feeling self-conscious, "I was gonna say ready. What if I'm not ready?"

"What are you waiting for?"

Naruto sighed, "It can't be true! He can't be pining over me! Besides, I already told him that I'm madly in love with him!"

"Did you?" If Gaara were in possession of eyebrows, one of them would be raised right now in skepticism.

"I thought so, but I might've just implied it… With the telling him that I have dreams about him and that he is pretty instance of our first meeting."

"Naruto, that doesn't count. He's probably confused by your behavior, you told him your dreams were of the two of you being friends," Gaara stressed the word friend in an attempt to make his meaning clear, "and you said he was pretty 'for a fuck-head' that's like saying, 'you're nice, for a douchebag', or 'you're cute, for a spastic blonde puppy'. When I say this, it does Not mean that I am attracted to you. You need to be clear about your feelings."

"Well okay, but if he doesn't like me and I've just ruined our friendship with mushy stuff, I get to punch you in the face."

"Sounds fair."

XXX - just a few minutes later… - XXX

"Sasuke, just listen to me, okay?" Naruto cleared his throat nervously, looking at the dark shadow that he knew was his best-friend/hopefully soon to be boyfriend as he stood by a tree a few feet in front of him. "I like you, a lot, and not just as a friend. And if I sometimes fantasize about fictional characters it's only because they remind me of you. I loved you before I even met you, nobody could ever be better than you."

"Please forgive me, even if you don't feel the same, it's okay. I just want to be by your side."

Sasuke approached, his black hair shining blue even in the street light, "Dobe," he murmured as he gently twined his fingers in silky blonde hair and pulled Naruto's head towards his own.

XXX – and still later… you know the bit after the credits –XXX

"And my favorite part was when Naruto punched Gaara in the face… for telling Sasuke that he sometimes jerks off to thoughts of Spock. Dude, that was just mean! Hilarious, but mean."

"Shut up Kiba!" from a certain blonde loud-mouth

"You mock my pain," a redhead intoned

Sasuke just sniggers quietly, "Life is pain."

Most of all, I hate how I don't hate you, not even a little bit, in fact not at all.

(Ten Things I Hate About You).

The end

Author's note:

So exhausted, I hope it turned out okay, the ending was a bit… abrupt? When I started this whole thing I only had a vague notion about them both liking Disturbed and it just kind of escalated into this, I have no excuse.

I realize that Sasuke is really out of character but let's pretend he has low self-esteem issues. I was debating between them getting together and just ending it with them as friends and this was what I went with, but what can I say, I'm a sucker for a happy ending. At least I acknowledge that this is the case so that counts for something right? No not really, I know… it isn't a good excuse but, oh well.

But anyway, I haven't seen this show in forever and it's difficult to place myself in the right mindset to write this fic not to mention that I haven't had time to read a real book in almost as long so I'm sure my vocabulary is not as good as it usually is, but if anyone is still reading this, I appreciate that you stuck it out till the end .

Thank you very much for reading. Please review to tell me what you think, even if it's to tell me that I suck.