Warning: this story will contain yaoi! Just not yet. I also swear alot, so if that bothers you, you might want to bail.

Umm, I don't own Naruto..... Sasuke does.... (evil chuckle)

This is a Sasu/Naru, for those who don't know what that means..... Sasuke's the seme, but you won't have to worry about that yet..... lemons wouldn't fit with the tone of the story at this time.

This is an AU so I don't have to worry about when exactly in the anime it takes place (and also because I like them). I'm also writing an AU so I don't have to deal with Sasuke being a completely retarded jackass, honestly I just wanna smack him... anyway. I'm sure some characters will be OC but I will try my best not to let that happen.

I've never written a fan fic before so it might suck. (crosses fingers) I hope it's good, or at least tolerable. It may prove difficult to write though because all I can think of is how much I would like to read the next installment of Naruto, and how much I can't stand Karin (and I thought Sakura was annoying).

But, omg I feel so bad.... This part contains spoilers, so if you're not caught up on the manga you might wanna skip it.... just put your fingers in your ears and say la la la la. Anyway, I feel horrible for hating Itachi this whole time, I'm not sure how much I believe about the whole 'Oh I didn't call the Kyuubi, it was just a natural disaster' thing but the rest kinda makes sense.... and it really pissed me off, grrr.

I should apologize

Dee: "Itachi, I'm really very sorry.... it was my possessive side showing through.... cause you know if you hurt Sasuke you must die. But I wasted all this time hating you for something without understanding your motivation, and now you're dead!" (hugs Itachi soaking his shirt with tears)

Itachi: (puts hand on forehead attempting to shove her away) "Back off woman! Gah! What was all that Die Itachi Die crap about then? You're so fickle"

Dee: (backs away and looks up at him) "But you were just so creepy" (crosses arms over chest and sticks out her tongue at him) "Just be grateful I'm reconsidering your fucking bastard status. But, I still think it's wrong that you killed all the little kids too."

Itachi: "That's not much of an apology you know, (looks down his nose at her) and you ramble."

Dee: (looks down at her feet and kicks a small rock nervously) "I know, but the next story I write you'll be a good brother, okay?" (holds out hand) "I promise"

Itachi: (reluctantly shakes hand) "okay"

Now on with the fic..... Yay!

Oh, How I Hate You.....Let Me Count the Ways

Chapter one

I Hate Your Eyes

"Ahhhh! Sasuke, look out!" The blonde guy screamed as he jolted awake his heart pounding. What? He asked himself as he blinked his bright blue eyes in the darkness. Who the hell did I just dream about? All I can remember is he was my best friend and I desperately had to save him from....something. Naruto rubbed the back of head bewilderedly and groaned, it's too early to think, but damn it! I hate when I dream about people I don't know, cause it's so creepy, particularly if you meet them later.

It does happen to me all the time though, especially lately. I'll dream about someone that I know in the dream and then I'll wake up and I don't know who the fuck they are. This dream was abnormally strange, although now, stupidly enough, I don't remember why. Something about a.... tatto?. A really gross....hickey? Neck biting thing, maybe? Apparently, Naruto's brain liked to ramble first thing in the morning or maybe it just liked to ramble period.

Naruto yawned and rubbed the sleep from his eyes looking at the clock, five minutes before my alarm is supposed to go off. Great, no more sleep for me. "Shower, here I come." He grumbled to himself as he trudged tiredly to the bathroom.

After he was clean and his hair was nice and spiky, Naruto wandered his closet with a white fluffy towel wrapped around his waist picking out his clothes. He grabbed a long sleeved orange t-shirt with red flames on the sleeves, some orange boxers and a pair of jeans. He was ready in about ten minutes and he looked at his watch.

"Shit!" He exclaimed, "I'm gonna be late for the bus!" Hurriedly slipping on his tan canvas sneakers and grabbing his orange and black backpack, he ran out the door. Being fifteen, he couldn't get his license yet and he didn't have older friends who would pick him up. It sure would be nice to have an older girlfriend or something, he thought, but you know how girls always date older guys and not younger ones. It would also be nice if his fricking dad would drive him to school once in a while, it's not like he was going there anyway or anything, it's not like he taught him science everyday in the same fucking building or anything! Naruto sighed, sometimes you just had to rant to relieve tension.

Dashing to the stop, he barely made it as the bus came around the corner. Getting on the empty bus, he walked to the back and sat down turning on his iPod nano. Scrunching his five foot six inch frame down in his seat with his knees resting on the one in front of him, he closed his eyes as his favorite Cake song 'Sheep Go to Heaven' massaged his eardrums with it's kookiness. At least he had something to do until his best friend, Kiba, got on the bus in about fifteen minutes. He had to ride the bus forever in the morning, he was the first one on and it sucked. Oh well, at least he always got his favorite seat.

Kiba got on the bus and sat in the seat ahead of Naruto, sitting sideways and facing him with his arm on it's back and his feet on the seat. "Guess what man?" Kiba began when Naruto turned off his iPod. "I heard from Hinata, when I was talking to her on the phone last night, that we're getting a new transfer in our class today." Hinata is Kiba's girlfriend and on the student council. She was actually really pretty, who knows how Kiba got to go out with her, but she is good for him, keeps him grounded with her seriousness. He's good for her too though, keeps her happy with his goofiness.

"Oh yeah? Girl?" Naruto asked hopefully.

"Nope, too bad, it's a guy. " Kiba went on, still excited, "Hinata said she heard he was a criminal or something, his brother killed his whole family and the guy tried to go after him or something. It sounded intense."

"That's messed up, I don't have any brothers but I'm sure having one like that would suck." Naruto said as he stretched his arms then placed them behind his head looking at the ceiling of the bus, seemingly contemplating the loneliness of being an only child.

"Yeah, definitely. So, did you get the history homework done?" Kiba asked changing the subject at random.

"Hell no! I was breaking my brain with algebra all night long, do you think I'd have time for the goddamn reconstruction?" the blonde exclaimed loudly earning a glare in the mirror from the bus driver, "Ugh, I hate history." He finished with a sigh folding his arms across his chest and slumping down in his seat.

"You hate everything learning related, Naruto," A new voice commented from the middle of the bus. They looked up to find that during their discussion Neji had gotten on as well.

"Not everything Hyuga," Naruto replied, glaring, trying to come up with a good comeback, "just most things." he finished lamely.

"Hm," Neji grunted and tossed his bag on the outside seat across the isle from Kiba and him and sat sideways on the inside facing them, "Good one Naruto, it boggles my mind how clever you are."

Their friendly banter continued as the bus finally pulled up to the school and they all got off. "So, hey Neji," Naruto said as the three put their books in their lockers, "you got your history done right?" He turned to look at Neji hopefully.

"You're not copying me Naruto," Neji lectured him sternly "If I do all your work for you you'll never learn, then how will you fulfill your destiny."

Naruto snorted at Neji's pseudo cosmic wisdom, "You're such a dork, you never let me copy!"

"And yet, you continue to ask me." Neji's sarcastic bored tone caused Naruto's left eye to start twitching. Neji paid Naruto's irritation induced tic no mind and headed off to his first class without them.

"And he's our friend, why?" Naruto asked Kiba with a raised eyebrow, Kiba just shrugged and started walking off to class but stopped when he saw Hinata rushing toward them.

"Hey," she exclaimed warmly when Kiba greeted her with a hug and a quick kiss.

"Geez you guys PDA, not allowed," Naruto admonished them facetiously and grinned.

Hinata blushed and giggled bouncing on her toes, "Here," she said holding out two blueberry muffins, "I thought you guys might like some breakfast, I had my mom stop at the gas station on the way to school this morning."

"Boo-yah!" Naruto shouted pumping his fist in the air, everyone in the hall stared at them for a couple seconds. "You're awesome Hinata, I'm starving!" He grabbed the muffin and started munching.

"And when are you not hungry Naruto?" Kiba teased, Naruto just mumbled his retort around a mouth full of muffin. "Thank you," Kiba tenderly took the muffin from Hinata and drew her into a one armed hug, "You're so thoughtful sweety."

Naruto made gagging noises behind them, "Seriously now guys, you're going to send me into sugar shock." Although he didn't really mind, he just liked to mess with Kiba's head.

"Shaddup Naruto," Kiba growled, playing along while still holding a giggling Hinata, "When you get a girlfriend I'm totally makin fun of you."

Naruto looked quickly at his watch when he noticed the dwindling student population in the hallway, "Shit guys, we gotta get to class."

They speed walked down the hall and ran up the stairs and almost got to the door of their first hour class, when the bell rang. The group groaned in chorus.

"Well at least it's Mr. Kakashi's class, he's never on time." Naruto said and opened the door. Of course predictably today was the one day of the year their teacher was actually on time.

"You're late," Kakashi stated as the three entered the classroom.

"Sorry sir," Naruto quipped with a huge grin on his face, "We had to help a group of old ladies cross the street."

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a 'you're lying', Naruto, just get to your seat." Kakashi sighed and continued as the three split and went to their seats. "As I was saying, the seating arrangement will be slightly altered from now on because of the addition of a new student."

Naruto took his seat in the back of the room, eternally banished to the back by his last name's placement at the end of the alphabet. He had an immensely bad feeling about the new student they would have today, he couldn't stop thinking about that weird dream.

"Naruto, if you wouldn't mind moving over a seat," Kakashi's voice popped into Naruto's daydream and he looked up at the teacher, "I'm going to put the new guy next to you."

Just as Kakashi finished, the door opened and someone walked into the room holding a piece of paper and some books. "Ah," Kakashi gave the new guy a come on in motion, "you must be Sasuke Uchiha, welcome, your seat's in the back next to Naruto. Hold up your hand Naruto."

Naruto rolled his eyes and did as he was bid. Holding his hand in the air, he took a moment to scrutinize this Sasuke Uchiha. He experienced a moment of shock akin to panic, he was sort of expecting it to be the guy from his dream but not fully prepared for it. Inexplicably everything about him was almost exactly the same. Black hair, black eyes, pale skin, even the arrogance that on anyone else would incite violence but seemed to suit him perfectly. Naruto shook himself out of his daydream with difficulty when Sasuke dropped his books loudly on the desk and looked at him out of the corner of his eye. Then turned his head when he noticed Naruto staring.

"What?"

"Oh Hi," Naruto said brightly, holding out his hand in greeting with his most friendly grin in place, "I'm Naruto, nice to meetcha!" Wow he's really cool, maybe we will be friends, Naruto thought.

Sasuke looked at the proffered hand as if it were pulled from a garbage heap then glanced at Naruto, "Weirdo".

"What!?" Naruto exclaimed, shocked that a guy he just met would insult him like that. Did he just think he could be friends with this guy?

"I said you're a weirdo, but I meant that you're stupid and apparently deaf." Sasuke went on adding more insults while Naruto sat stupefied.

"I'm not deaf," Naruto paused for a few seconds, glaring at Sasuke, "oh, and I'm not stupid either."

"Right... damn, you had me fooled." Sasuke looked at a smirking Kakashi in response to a small coughing sound. Then glanced back at a still staring Naruto. "Fuck! Will you stop staring at me!" He shouted for the entire class to hear.

"Naruto, don't stare at people, it's weird." Kakashi reprimanded lightly from the front of the room, clearly amused by the whole situation, "Sasuke, don't curse you are in school after all," He added, "Now if you're quite finished staring at Sasuke, can we get started with class please." The class murmured for a couple seconds and Naruto heard 'freak' and 'stupid, staring at the new guy'.

"Can anyone tell me what they thought the greatest mistake of the reconstruction was...." Kakashi continued his history lecture but Naruto was no longer listening.

x-x-x-x-x yaoi x-x-x-x-x

A couple hours later Naruto stalked rapidly through the congested hallways of the school trying to make it to his next class before the bell, weaving around his peers at great speed. Damn this badly designed freaking three story building to hell, why can't they just put the same grades classes closer together? And of course his last teacher had to discuss his poor performance in algebra with him. It wasn't his fault he didn't understand factoring, and it's not like he was ever going to need it anyway, grrrr. Now he had to haul ass to get to his fourth period English class on time. Unfortunately said class happened to be on the other side of the school. Cursing to himself, he turned a corner and quickly walked into the correct room. He was hoping like hell the new student was not in this class.

He'd had three classes so far and thankfully only the first one had the dreaded jerk's presence. Naruto arrived at his seat just as the bell rang, looking around he noticed that he was the only student in the class room. There were no students, no teacher and in fact no reason for him to stay. He got up to leave when...

"So I guess you really are stupid," said the calm but cold voice of the black haired young man leaning up against the doorway.

"You again, dammit" Naruto said glaring at the pale young man.

"I was sent to get you," Sasuke said coldly still leaning against the wall but looking more exasperated then before.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, if you would have read the sign on the door, we were to meet in the library and then leave for lunch early. But since you're a complete retard, I guess that's just too much to ask" He said as he started to walk away.

Naruto glared at him as he walked away but quickly followed. Entering the library, he walked quickly to his seat receiving glares sent his way from the entire class. Especially from the prissy pink haired bimbo Sakura and her equally shallow friend Ino, the teacher's pets. Who'd both hated him since the third grade when he'd thrown Sakura in a mud puddle for calling his friend Gaara a mommy killer. Bitches, he growled to himself, it's bad enough that Gaara's mom is dead and his psychotic uncle blames him for it but to have two clueless dumbshits do it also..... it still pisses him off to this day.

"Naruto!" jumping slightly in alarm, Naruto stared at his English teacher Mr. Asuma, he hadn't even realized he'd been glaring off into space lost in thought. "Since we had to wait for you to arrive today," Mr. Asuma continued sternly, "the least you could do is pay attention."

"Yes sir"

"As I was saying," Mr. Asuma continued, "Today everyone will pick out two books from my lists," He held up two booklets of about five pages each. "I expect two well done five hundred word essays in three months time. One list is the approved reading list and one is the banned books list. The first one will be written as a normal book report. In the second, however, I would like everyone to explain, in their own words, why they think these books are banned and if they agree or disagree with the banning. This means, class, you're not allowed to go to any web sites to find the reasons I want your own opinions." He set the packets on a table in the front of the room. "Anyone may pick the same book, but if any two people turn in the exact same paper you'll both fail. This is a large portion of your grade, people, so do a good job. The school library has only a couple copies of a few of these books, but I'm sure a number of the libraries in town have some too. When you've made your choices you may go to lunch. Any questions?"

Sakura's hand shot up, Oh great, here we go, Naruto groaned to himself "Sir, are we allowed to read books we've read before?"

"Sure Sakura, as long as your essay is good, I don't really care."

Neji also raised his hand, "What if there's a book we would like to discuss that's not on the list?"

"Sure," Mr. Asuma replied smiling, " just submit your request for my approval. Anyone else?" He waited a few seconds and when no one responded, "alright lets get started."

The class swarmed around the table at the front of the library, talking about what books they wanted to do. Naruto, however stayed in his seat for the time being, not wanting to subject himself to the trauma of choosing his very own torture just yet. Sasuke, aka the raven haired son of Satan passed by Naruto's seat on his way to the front a few minutes later when the hysteria had been reduced to more tolerable levels.

"Can you handle this assignment, stupid?" He taunted with a raised eyebrow, "you can read right?"

"Bastard!" Naruto shouted and lunged out of his seat toward the black haired menace, who stepped neatly to the side to watch him fall flat on his face. The blond glared up at his nemesis from his position on the floor, getting slowly to his feet he smoothed out his shirt and dusted off his pants continuing to glare at the newly appointed bane of his existence.

"Geez moron, spastic much?" Sasuke smirked.

"I'llshowyouspasticyousarcasticsonofabitch!" The blond spat at him in a rush.

"What are you babbling about? I don't speak freak."

"Uzumaki, Uchiha! stop fighting and get back to work!" Mr. Asuma shouted from the front of the library.

"He started it!" Naruto blurted and pointed to Sasuke like a five year old.

The raven shook his head, patronizing the blond's childish behavior "Moron," he muttered softly so only Naruto heard him. The hyperactive high schooler lunged at his enraging classmate only to, once again, look up at the infuriating asshole from the floor. With a roar he launched himself at the shithead, finally succeeding in tackling him and punching him in the face. In a matter of seconds, Sasuke flipped them over and pummeled Naruto in the eye. Soon they became a rolling mass of flying fists, feet and screams of "I hate you!" from a certain blond loudmouth.

"Enough!" Mr. Asuma roared in fury, "Detention! Both of you! Leave! Principal's office! NOW!"

Painfully getting to his feet, Naruto trudged to the door of the library in shame. Sasuke glared at the teacher then at the retreating back of the stupid twit but unwillingly followed. They exited the library, Naruto leading the way down the silent hallway but suddenly stopped in the middle. "Oh shit," he groaned quietly to himself. "My dad's gonna Kill me."

TBC

I had to repost this because...... I spelled Neji's name wrong! (hangs head in shame) I feel really stupid now.

I'm tempted to change it more, I'm never totally happy with my own work, but I won't I will stop myself (slaps hand.... bad Dee....bad)

Anyway, I hope people like it.... it might take me a while to update this story, I'm experiencing writer's block and can't decide where it's going.

Please leave a review, even if you don't like it.... feel free to tell me why.