A/N: This is my entry for the second SweetestIrony contest. I've really outdone myself this time, five thousand words for a one-shot. Oy. Hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, except King's Night. In my head, that's the best night to party.

Note: Slightly based on true events... Don't hold it against me too much.

King's Night

Oh shit!

Ohhh… Oh my God, how is it possible that I'm still alive? I feel horrible. No, worse than horrible, I feel like I have been hit by a plane, kicked in my grave, died, and just un-died. It's not humanly possible that I survived last night.

Damn, last night. What the hell happened last night? I mean, I know there's been a huge party, it was King's Night after all, but what happened at the party? I can't remember anything.

I roll on my side to see what time my alarm clock gives me, and feel myself falling off the bed. With a smack I hit the ground, releasing a squeal. I want keep lying there, my headache is too bad and my muscles too elastic to stand up, but an empty liquor bottle sways dangerously on my nightstand and falls down on my head.

Oh God!! That friggin' hurts. My hand shoots to my head and I press my fingers on the tender spot where the bottle hit my head. Oh great, that'll be a lump. I look at the bottle. It contained Tequila yesterday. No, that can't be right, it's not possible that I drank a whole bottle of Tequila on my own. But then, that might be the reason I don't remember anything from last night.

I crawl to the bathroom, pulling myself up on the end of the bed along the way. I can hardly walk, it feels like my limps are made of rubber. I waggle through the room and stumble on something else. Two bottles, both empty. Martini and Sambuca. There are a few used matches next to the Sambuca bottle. I feel sorry for my liver. I'm certain I destroyed it.

With much difficulty I stumble into my bathroom, where I almost jump a hole through the roof when I see the ugliest wench from hell next to me. To my utter horror, I look into the mirror, and the ugliest wench from hell turns out to be my reflection.

I try to tidy my hair a bit. It looks like every hairdresser's nightmare. My short hair is pointing in all directions. Coup whirlwind. My mascara – according to Erasa a 'must' at a night like last night, whatever night that may have been – has ran out and currently graces my cheeks. It's like I'm in gothic-mode. I smell my breath. Eww. Like someone cracked a grave. What a nightmare. It's moments like these I'm glad I don't have a boyfriend. If someone ever woke up next to this, he'd be running up the first hill faster than you can say 'good morning'.

I need to pee. Ungracefully I park myself at the toilet seat and piss my whole bladder empty. Hmm, it hurts a bit. Funny. Must have kept it inside for far too long. I could hear the hallelujah choir as I release everything. My kidneys are pleased with me again. Might as well also perform a #2. Ahh, it feels like I just got rid of all the toxic in my body. I can finally start the day. It's a good thing I am the only one in the room, it smells horrible after I take a dump. After I wipe my butt I pull up my sweatpants…

Wait…

Where are my sweatpants?

I look down, and suddenly I realize I'm butt naked.

Huh? How did I get butt naked? I always sleep in my PJs. I don't even like to sleep naked.

Then I hear a moan. I'm so shocked that I fall off the toilet seat. I lie there for a while, my legs in my neck and my arms somewhere on the ground. I listen intently. Another moan, and this time I hear it's coming out of my bedroom.

Oh no… Why am I hearing a moan that's coming out of my bedroom?

Quietly I crawl to the other room again. I look at my bed. I almost have a heart attack when I see that it's moving! Or at least, there's something moving in my bed, under my sheets! My jaw falls on the floor when I see a leg sticking out of my brilliantly white sheets.

The first thing I think… surprisingly…

'Nooo, what if he can smell my poo?!'

And immediately I close the bathroom door.

The second thing I think… surprisingly…

'I'm not wearing anything!!'

And I jump in the first shirt I can find. It comes to the mid of my upper legs.

The third thing I think… unsurprisingly…

'There's someone in my bed!! And I was naked!! What the hell?!'

I take another horrified look at the leg that's sticking out of my sheets. It's obviously male.

It's obviously male…

I panic. There's a man lying in my bed, of course I panic! What should I do? Wake him?

Nooo… Not yet.

Kick him out?

Nooo… I'd wake him.

Crawl back to bed and hope this is just a terrible nightmare?

And lying next to him? Absolutely nooo…

Call Erasa?

Yes, call Erasa. That's what I'm going to do. Call Erasa. She'll know what to do.

I grab the phone from my desk and dash towards the bathroom again, locking the door the minute I'm inside. I dial the number. After a few long seconds, in which I smell a funny scent from my shirt, she answered.

"Watzematteh?" I hear from the other side of the line.

"There's a man in my bed."

She moans. "Wah?"

"There's a man in my bed!" I repeat, louder than I intend.

There's a silence on the other line.

"A man in your bed?" She asks, as I hear I have her full attention now.

"Yes, a man in my bed!" I almost yell.

I hear some rumbling on the other side and eventually the closing of a door.

"Are you sure?" She questions.

"I can see his leg!"

"How do you know it's a man? Maybe it's just another girl."

"Unless the girl has hairy legs and dirty toenails, I'm pretty sure it's a man!" I hiss impatiently.

Another silence follows. I hear another moan from the man in my bed.

"Oh…My…God. There really is a man in your bed!" Erasa says enthusiastically.

"Erasa!" I shush. "This is not something to celebrate! What if we… what if we…" Oh no, what if we…

"You mean… what if you did it?" She asks sweetly.

"I'm naked." I mutter, in total panic. Call me innocent, but I haven't thought of that yet.

"Is he naked?"

I pale. "I don't know. I only saw a naked leg."

"Well, go check it out!"

"If he's naked?"

"You want to know if you did it?"

I panic again. What if we really did it? Me, with the unknown man in my bed? I already have a feeling, but I sincerely hope that he's wearing a woollen sweater under my sheets.

Toe by toe, step by step, I enter the room again. The closer I get to the bed, the more nervous I become. I look at the leg. Yep, definitely male. Muscular, hairy, big feet, definitely male. How could I let this… this thing enter my bed.

I'm standing right next to the bed.

"I'm standing right next to him." I whisper through the phone.

"Well, check him out already."

"He's under my sheets."

"Then pull the sheets off of him."

"What if he wakes?"

"He's gonna have to sometime."

A horrible thought enters my mind. "What if it's Sharpener?"

An insulted huff comes from the other line. "It's not Sharpener."

"How do you know?"

"Because Sharpener is in lying my bed."

I don't know what to say. I want to laugh, but since Erasa is my only companion in this nightmare of a predicament, I decide to keep it in and to release a clumsy 'oh'.

"Don't laugh, let's take care of your man first." Oy, that almost sounds poisonous.

I look at the big lump in my bed. I swallow deeply as I reach out my trembling hand and grab the sheet.

"On the count of three…" I mumble.

"…One…"

"…Two…"

"…Three!"

I almost faint when I see the angelic pale face, the untidy black locks, the drool from the corner of his mouth and the gorgeous body the sheets reveal. No, this can't be possible, it shouldn't be possible, but there he is, lying in my bed, sleeping like a baby… naked.

He is definitely male and definitely not an unknown male.

"It's Gohan!" I squeal.

"Gohan?!"

"Gohan!"

"Gohan as in… our Gohan?"

"Gohan as in WHAT OTHER GOHAN DO WE KNOW?!"

Shit. I think I was a little too loud, because the young man in my bed starts to yawn and turn around, waking up slowly from his slumber.

"He's waking up." I mutter panicked.

"That's good!" Erasa chirps cheerfully. "Now, crawl back next to him, blink your eyes a few times and you might get some morning exercise…"

Even I can't miss her suggestion. I'm aware that I'm blushing a modest pink.

"Erasa!" I hiss. "What should I do?"

She giggles. "Enjoy it, you naughty girl." And before I know it, she hangs up on me. Right in time I might add, because when I look up Gohan is watching me with swollen, puffy eyes. I immediately take a step back.

Oh no…

What now?

I'm standing here, eye to eye, face to face, with Gohan, who's lying in my bed… naked… and with whom I've had…

…with whom I've had…

…with whom I've had…

…I need to lie down.

Unfortunately, before I faint, Gohan's eyes widen as he sees me. He looks around feverishly, fixes his shocked gaze at me again, before he lifts the sheets, takes a peek, realizes he's naked and gazes at me with a pale and horrified face.

"What am I doing here?" He asks with trembling voice.

In all my embarrassment, I can only shrug.

"Don't ask me." I mutter, as if it's his fault that he's here. And it is, dammit!!

How it's possible, I don't know, but he manages to take on an even paler shade.

"What happened last night?" He questions weakly.

I shrug again.

"I hoped you could tell me that." I say almost angrily.

"I-I can't."

"Me neither."

"I don't remember what happened."

"Me neither. I only know we were drunk."

He looks at me horrified. "Were we drunk?" He asks as if it's the worst sin.

I begin to lose my patience. "Yes, Gohan, we were drunk. How else do you think we can't remember anything that's happened last night." I say irritated. He almost jumps from my harsh tone. He takes another peek under the sheets.

"Why am I naked?"

Now I really begin to get angry. "Why do you think?!" I spit.

He blinks at me for a while, clearly not understanding what I mean.

"Were you naked too?"

Alright. That's it. I can't take it anymore. "Yes, I was naked and do you know why? Because we did it! We humped! We shagged! We had a wild night! We rocked the house! We did the deed! We went all the way! We did the goddamn Bow-Chicka-Bow-Wow!"

After my outburst, he still looks at me as if he doesn't understand what I'm saying. I smack my head. How dense is he anyway?

After a short silence, he dares to open his mouth to say the thing that really pushes me off the edge.

"What do you mean?"

"Intercourse, Gohan!! Sexual… intercourse!! Do I need to spell it out for you?!" I yell hysterically, wanting to cry from frustration. But finally, finally the genius understands the gravity of the situation…

… and he becomes even paler than before.

For a long time we share a silence. I look at the ceiling as I cross my arms. I feel him staring at me.

After a while he speaks. "So what are we going to do now?" He asks hesitantly.

That's not a difficult question. "You get your ass out of my bed, you dress, you leave and we forget this night has ever happened."

He looks at me surprised. "Oh, if that's what you want." Somehow he sounds disappointed, even though I wouldn't know why. Forgetting this night is the best thing we can do. What's to forget anyway, we don't remember anything of it anyway.

He looks at me from tip to toe. I frown a bit as I feel uncomfortable under such a thorough inspection. His gaze ends when our eyes meet.

"That shirt looks good on you." He says a bit shyly.

To my utter dismay, I begin to blush, and even a small smile appears on my face. "Thank you." I mutter.

I don't know what else to say. I furiously hope I don't blush anymore. He nervously scratches his neck.

"So-uh…" He starts sheepishly, "… can I have it back?"

I look at him confused. "Can you have what back?"

"Uhm… the shirt?"

It takes me a while to realize what he means. When it finally clicks in my head, I laugh stupidly.

"Ohh, it's your shirt." I mutter. Duh. It's definitely not mine, unless if I wear tents. Which I don't. But that explains the funny scent the shirt carries.

Without thinking I grab the hem of the shirt and pull it over my head. Only when I see Gohan's wide-open eyes and shocked expression, I realize that I am naked under the shirt.

I look down at my body…

Yep, definitely naked.

As Gohan can't take his eyes off of my body, I roll my eyes.

"Geez, Gohan. Why don't you take a picture, it lasts longer." I say as I walk towards my walk-in closet. I'm conscious that he's following me with his eyes and secretly I feel flattered that he's looking at me like that.

"Anyway…" I say as I dress myself in front of him… Why? I have no idea… "… it's nothing you haven't seen before."

He swallows nervously and he blushes a bright crimson. "Not consciously." He manages to utter, before I throw him his shirt and the rest of his clothes.

"Come on." I press. I run a comb through my hair as he throws the sheets off of him and raises himself from my bed.

Oh… My… beeping… God!

That body!!

Okay, I'm not the kind of girl to swoon over nice bodies, but this…

I have to admit it, he has a great body. How come he never shows it?

He dresses himself slowly. I really have difficulty not to look at him. My eyes are drawn to him all the time. I must still have that alcohol in my blood, I'm not being sensible. I'm being totally ridiculous!

After he pulls up his pants, he freezes. I look at him and frown.

"What's the matter?" I ask.

"Didn't you hear that?" He replies softly.

"Hear wh…?"

"… Shh."

I try to pick up a sound I can't hear, but after a while there's no longer silence, but footsteps on the stairs and the barking of a dog. I recognize my father's voice talking to the dog.

"…see how Videl's doing, shall we Bee?" Yes, it's clearly my father.

I panic. Gohan panics. We both run towards each other, we both whisper 'what now?' hysterically, before I have an idea. I violently push him into the walk-in closet.

"One sound and I'll kill you!" I hiss to him, before I close the door. Just in time, because my bedroom door slowly opens and Bee runs towards me enthusiastically, almost stumbling over its own feet.

"Good morning, Sweet Pea." My father greets me. He carries a tray with my breakfast.

"Thought you wanted something to eat." He mumbles as he walks towards my desk and places the tray on it. Ugh, food. Now? With a hangover as big as Godzilla? No, thanks.

My eye catches the two empty bottles of Martini and Sambuca clearly in sight. I look at my father again. He's with his back towards me.

I take Gohan's shirt, the first cloth I can get my hands to, and throw it over the bottles. Bee almost wants to fetch it, only stopped by me picking him off the floor, in a fake sign of affection.

"Hi daddy." I say with a smile as I walk towards him and kiss him on the cheek.

"Did you have fun last night?" He asks as he takes Bee from me.

I shrug. "It was nice." Tss, liar.

My father strokes my cheek lovingly. "I didn't see you at Queen's Square anymore. Did you leave early?"

I blink at him for a while. Have I been at Queen's Square?

"Ehh, yeah, I left early. I went to Erasa's house with a whole bunch of people." I quickly lie. Of course I can guess why I left early, and it had nothing to do with Erasa.

"Pity, you missed out on a lot. I thought you'd be there when I did my speech."

Oh yeah… I missed a lot indeed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think of it anymore." I speak.

"Ah, it's alright. You're young, you have your friends. But you were home at midnight, or weren't you?" He looks at me suspiciously.

I had no earthly idea if I was home at midnight.

"Yes." I confirm, deciding that lying was the best option right now. And by the way, maybe I was home in time, I wouldn't know. I was drunk.

"Alright. Are you doing something today?" He asks, apparently believing everything I'm saying.

"I think I'm going to hang out down town with Erasa a bit. You know, down town during King's Day should be very… interesting." Especially after last night. I sure hope I didn't ride a statue or something last night. Drunk people do strange stuff.

"Okay then, Sweet Pea. Will you be there for the fire works? I'll be at the dock when it starts."

"Sure dad, I'll be there."

He kisses me on my forehead. At that moment, Bee begins to growl. Dad and I both look at the dog.

"What's wrong with him?" Dad asks, but Bee begins to struggle.

Then I realize he's not just growling, but he's growling at something…

… and that something is the door of my walk-in closet.

Oh shit!

"Ehh… Maybe he just needs a walk. I'll walk him." I quickly offer so I can drag the stupid dog out of here before he ruins everything.

"No." My father shook his head. "I just walked him. Something else is wrong."

He follows the gaze of the dog.

"Videl, I think he's growling at your closet." He says surprised.

No. No, no, no, no, no.

"I bet it's nothing, dad." I reply, almost in panics again, before I try to take the dog from him again. But before dad and I both know it, the dog releases himself from my father's grasp and hops towards the closet, growling aggressively at the door.

"Well I'll be darned!" Dad exclaims. "He's never done that before. Maybe he's smelling something from your closet."

"No, no, I bet's it's noth…" But before I can finish my sentence, my father already walks to the closet…

…no…

…grabs the handle…

…no…

…pushes it down…

…no…

…and opens it with a yank.

…NOO!!

And there, in the corner of my walk-in closet, bare-chested Gohan stands, trying to hide between my clothes, but realizing that it's futile and that we are completely, utterly, totally busted.

My father looks from Gohan, to me, to Gohan, to me, to Gohan and to me again.

"Sweet Pea?"

"Gohan!"

"Mr. Satan…"

"Punk?"

"Videl…"

"Dad!"

"Woof."

And suddenly, my father understands. I can see the veil on his red forehead, on the verge of popping, as he slowly turns to Gohan again.

Oh shit.

"YOU… ME… OUTSIDE… NOW!!"

"He's done what?"

"He drove him off the estate. There's a big, Gohan-shaped hole in our hedge."

Erasa looks at me incredulously. "Are you kidding me?"

I take a sip of my non-alcoholic cocktail. "No, I'm not. When he saw Gohan standing in my closet, he dragged him to the garden, challenged him into a fight, declaring he took away 'his daughter's innocence', and started punching and kicking in every direction. Luckily for Gohan, my father stumbled over Bee and fell flat on his face. Then he chased after him until he was off the estate. And, like I already said, there's a big, Gohan-shaped hole in our hedge. You can check it out if you don't believe me."

Erasa still gives me her incredulous stare, before she starts to grin followed by a fit a laughter that lasts several minutes.

"Videl! I can't believe he's done that! Are you grounded?"

"What do you think? I'm grounded for the next eighty years, if not more."

"Then why are you here?"

I look at Erasa meaningfully, before I take another sip of my drink. "The butler is covering for me. But I don't think we'll see Gohan anytime soon."

Erasa gives me a puzzled look. "Why not?"

"Dad has called Gohan's mother. I bet she won't be too pleased with our activities either."

"Bummer. But it's a freakin' hilarious story!" She chirps before she bursts into another fit of laugher. The people around us look at us annoyed.

"You know what's hilarious?" I start, ignoring all the people around me as I put my arm over Erasa's shoulder. "You and Sharpener?"

I look at her significantly and smirk. Erasa blushes.

"I like him a lot, Videl." She says shyly. "He's so different from how we know him in class. He's actually really sweet."

I smile at my best friend. "Well, good for you. So are you an item now?"

She giggles when I mention the word 'item'. "I don't know. Let's just say we're dating. Hey, I have an idea! Why don't you and Gohan come along with us sometime?"

I pull a long face. "You mean like a double-date?"

"Yeah, it'll be great." She claps her hands excitedly.

"I don't know, Erasa. I don't think I feel like dating Gohan at the moment." I say.

She looks at me confused. "Why not? Don't you like him?"

"It's not that I don't like him."

"Then what is it? He's not good in bed?"

"Erasa!" I yelp embarrassed. She laughs when she sees the blush on my face.

"So he is good in bed?"

"Who's good in bed? Are you girls talking about me?" A voice behind us says. We both turn around puzzled and meet Sharpener's smirking face. I roll my eyes as Erasa immediately dashes towards him.

They start to make out. Great, they start to make out and I'm standing here alone. Gah, this is pathetic.

But then I see another familiar face behind Sharpener and Erasa. And the familiar face is coming closer and closer.

"Hi Videl." He greets me.

I blush immediately. "Hi Gohan."

We stand next to each other awkwardly. This feels so weird.

"So… how did your mom react?" I ask to break the silence.

Gohan laughs. "She was hysterical."

I laugh too. "I take it you're also grounded till your death."

"No, actually." He replies, looking at me amused.

I look at him perplexed. "You're not grounded? Is it worse than that?"

"No, she didn't punish me."

"What?!" I exclaim. "But you said she was hysterical."

"Yes, hysterically happy. She thinks I have a girlfriend now. I'm not going to argue, or I will be grounded until my death."

We both laugh. I have a slightly tingling feeling in my stomach as he mentions the word 'girlfriend'.

After we both had our laughs, he looks at me seriously. "Videl, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure. Fire." I reply, feeling warm and fuzzy all of a sudden. I don't know what he's going to ask, but I certainly hope he's asking what I want him to and… and what I want him to ask…

"Videl, do you want to go on a couple of dates with me? Nothing special, but just so my mom really believes I really have a girlfriend"

…comes very close to what he really asks.

Now it was my turn to look at him amused. "So what you're really asking me is to pretend to be your girlfriend for a while?" I state and he's nodding shyly and shrugging apologetically.

I pretend to be thinking very hard on this one. "Alright, and how many dates are we talking about here?" I tease. He catches it.

"For as many as you want."

"Just for clarity, for as many as I want or as many as you want?"

He smiles. "For as many as you want."

"Aha." I nod. "And what if I refuse."

"You're free to do so, but you'd do me a really big favour if you say yes." He says, almost begging me with his expression.

"Hmm." I mock. "I'm in a very powerful position, aren't I?"

"Yes you are, but you're not going to regret it when you say yes." He says, followed by a wink.

I am suddenly very interested in him. "So funny, you're actually expecting me to say yes. You said 'when' and not 'if'."

He gives me a gorgeous crooked smile. "I like you. And I suspect you like me too."

I'm surprised by his directness. "What happened to the shy, silent Gohan, who doesn't even understand the meaning of 'humping' or 'shagging'?"

He laughs, though a little embarrassed. "I guess it's time to be a man."

I roll my eyes at his cheesy remark and smile despite myself. Men and their egos. It even catches innocent boys like Gohan. But secretly I'm pleased.

"You still haven't answered my question." Gohan reminds me. "Will you be my girlfriend for a few dates?"

I laugh at him. "If it's time to be a man, ask me what you really want to ask me."

"Alright then." He mutters with that gorgeous smile, looking at me intensely. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

I blush under his intense stare. My knees feel like they had this morning, like rubber. But I smile. I smile at his wonderful face. I take his hand.

"I think we should… talk some place else." I suggest, answering his intense stare with smouldering eyes.

He looks at me with a very special expression. An expression I haven't seen on his face before. And expression that makes me warm, shy and wanted at the same time.

"Lead the way." He says, never taking his eyes off of me.

And we leave, but not before I speak to Erasa, who's still making out with Sharpener in the mass of partying people. As half of all the people in the bar is doing a polonaise, far too drunk to be accountable, I steal a little moment from the blond couple.

"I'm leaving with Gohan." I whisper in Erasa's ear.

She looks at me surprised. "But I thought you didn't want him." She whispers back.

I smile. "I thought there'd be weirdness between us. I was wrong."

And I wink at Erasa, before I turn around and drag Gohan and myself through the mass of polonaising people.

"Use a condom!" Erasa yells after us. "And you will be back before the fireworks!"

People laugh, Gohan and I laugh, despite our slight embarrassment.

"We will." I shout back. I look at Gohan and he smirks.

That night we missed the fireworks. Who needs fireworks anyway when you can do far more exciting stuff…

… after all?