A/N: This is doubling as the celebration one-shot for being on five hundred people favorite author list and a contest one-shot. The rules were that it had to be an all human lemon. This will be my first time ever writing a human on human lemon – isn't that weird? So I hope I did a good job. Thanks for everyone that has added me on their favorite author list. It means the world to me. This is probably the funnest lemon I ever wrote. Read it till the end.

Summary: For DelilahTCullen's contest. All human! Laundry mats can be fun! Lemon! One-shot!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

Fifty Cents A Ride

My washing machine was broken – again. I sighed to myself before stuffing my personals into the washing machine at a local laundry mat. I knew the owners of the store extremely well so they had no problem leaving me here alone to do my laundry – at ten o'clock at night. I was a very busy woman so I didn't have time to do laundry at normal hours like most people.

"Excuse me miss." A voice came from beside me. I looked up to see a very tall and very attractive man stand in front of me with a bottle of Tide. I bit my lip and blushed – realizing just how hot this stranger was. "Can you help me? This is the first time I've ever done this." He admitted.

"Sure," I smiled. I stepped closer to him and grabbed the bottle of Tide from him. "You just measure it like this," I unscrewed the blue cap and held it out in front of him, the bottle in my other hand. "You fill it about half way," I filled the cap half way for him. "And then drop it in this container that says detergent." I dropped the blue liquid into the container that was marked detergent.

"You look so sexy when you help me with my laundry." The stranger commented.

"Thank you," I blushed and bit my bottom lip. The stranger stepped towards me before he turned to the washing machine.

"So how do work this thing?" The stranger asked.

"Since its sheets you'll want to put it on heavy duty." I smiled before leaning over the machine to move the knobs around.

"Heavy duty?" The stranger asked. I nodded. "I can do it heavy duty."

I giggled – even though I knew that what he said didn't make sense. "Really?" I asked still leaning over the washing machine, I pushed out my bottom to make it look like I had a butt.

"Oh yeah," the stranger wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned down to kiss my neck. I pulled away and turned to him in a mock horror.

"What kind of girl do you think I am?" I screamed at him.

"The kind of girl that likes it heavy duty," The stranger smiled at me. I rolled my eyes before stepping closer to him, my hand rested on his Led Zeppelin shirt.

"But I'm about to be married." I bit my lip.

"So am I," the stranger smiled at me and grabbed my hand. The washing machine behind us started to shake as it entered into its first cycle. The stranger wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me onto the washing machine. I let my skirt hike up as I stared up at him in shock. "I won't tell if you won't." He whispered into my ear as his hand pushed the hem of my skirt over my thigh.

My eyes rolled in the back of my head, my jaw dropped, and I leaned my head back as his finger traced my opening. His finger slipped into my entrance and my back instantly arched as I let out a very loud moan.

"Oh my god," I moaned out. The stranger smiled at me. His finger left my womanhood and he helped me lift my skirt to my waist so my bare flesh was now rubbing against the hot washing machine.

I grabbed his face between my hands and forced his mouth on mine. His lips parted quickly and he let his tongue slip into my mouth. We battled each other for dominance as the vibrations of the washing machine sent chills up my and down my body. I moaned loudly into his mouth as I twisted my head so I could get my tongue further down his throat.

He pulled away and so he could lift his shirt over his head. I did the same thing. I wasn't wearing a bra it was in the washing machine next to us. The stranger latched his mouth onto my nipple as he started to suck it lightly as he rubbed my left boob. I looked down at him and let out an audible moan.

"Oh god Edward." I groaned at him.

"You're not supposed to know my name." Edward lifted his head off of my breast – breaking his character. I rolled my eyes. I was starting to think that he was getting more into this than I was.

"Then what am I suppose to call you?" I asked – frustrated.

"Try asking." Edward hinted.

"What's your name?" I asked rolling my eyes.

The stranger smiled. "Zeus." His smile grew.

I raised an eyebrow – breaking character again. "I'm not calling you Zeus."

"C'mon," Edward laughed. "I called you Angelina last time."

"That was because we were doing Bradagelina! Now we're doing the stranger at the laundry mat." I explained – still breaking character.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Fine, call me Mike."

"No," I shook my head. "I dated someone named Mike – that's too creepy. Try a different name."

"John?" Edward suggested.

I shook my head. "Too common."

"Shaun?" Edward asked.

"No." I shook my head. "I'll call you Edward."

Edward rolled his eyes. I wrapped my arms around him and brought him in for another deep kiss – going back into our characters. He pulled away from me after a short kiss and started to unbuckle his belt. I smiled at him and licked my lips seductively. Edward unbuttoned his pants and pulled down his blue jeans and boxers – revealing himself to me.

"It's bigger than I thought it would be." I complimented him. Edward smiled at me as he stepped closer to me setting himself at my entrance.

"It's not the size," He entered into me slowly. My hands gripped the edge of the washing machine as my back arched and my eyes closed. "It's whether or not you know how to use it." Edward pushed himself forcefully into me before pulling himself out half way only to push him back in me again. I started to gasp as the pleasure coursed through my body.

He set a moderate pace for us as he rocked me back and forth on the washing machine which was actually starting to burn my exposed fleshed. My nails dug into the side of the washing machine as I tried not to fall off. The pleasure coursed through my body like adrenaline and pretty soon the only two things I was able to do is moan and gasp for air.

"You like this don't you?" Edward asked. I nodded. "You like it when I do you on the washing machine?" I whimpered but still nodded. "How much do you like it?" Edward asked.

"A lot." I groaned out.

"A lot is not a good enough answer," Edward leaned forward and kissed my neck softly. "It's too vague." Edward's thumb grazed my clitoris. I let out a violent scream and started to move my hips back and forth on the washing machine. "Do you want release?" Edward asked his voice 

getting low. I nodded. He smiled before grazing over my clitoris again. "Then answer my question." He moved his finger away from my clitoris and stopped thrusting into me.

"I love when you're doing me on the washing machine." I answered without hesitation. "I love it more than any other role play you and I have ever done and I swear to God Edward if you don't stop teasing me I jump off this washing machine get into my car and go finish what you started at home on my own washing machine." I screamed at him breaking character again.

Edward pulled his head back in shock before he started to laugh. He pushed himself back into me and started the pace he had set earlier. My head fell back and I gripped tightly to the edge of the washing machine as I my lower half tightened around Edward.

"Freaking hell," Edward muttered – signaling that he was just as close to finishing as I was. His fingers found my clitoris again and he started to rub it furiously. My eyes widened and my back arched me forward. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth. I wasn't breathing and I wasn't screaming. I was shaking though. My whole body tensed and I tightened around Edward. He let out low hiss as his body started tense and shake along with me.

He pulled out of me slowly as he started to grow soft. I laid my back across the machine as I tried to recover from my orgasm. Edward gave me a light kiss on my forehead and smiled down at me.

"Am I better than your husband?" He asked.

"Fiancé," I corrected.

"Why are we never married when we role play?" Edward asked as he helped me off the washing machine. "Do you hate being married to me that much?" He didn't sound hurt but there was a hint of seriousness in his voice.

"Of course not," I wrapped my arms around him. "If you want next time that we decide to role play we can be married." I smiled at him.

Edward smiled and kissed my nose. "K-Fed and Britney Spears – when they were married." Edward told me his idea for our next role play.

"Not happening." I shook my head. He's been trying to get me to do that couple for a year.

"C'mon Bells!" Edward laughed. "We've done teacher and student, doctor and patient, Bradagelina, and now the stranger at the laundry mat. It's about time we do K-Fed and Britney."

I shook my head. "I might give you a STD if we do that." I joked with him – pulling down my skirt and grabbing my shirt.

"Then we'll have to do doctor and patient again." He teased. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine," I agreed. "But I get to be Britney Spears."

Edward laughed. "Strangely, I do not have a problem with that."

"Good."I smiled as I pulled my shirt over my exposed chest. "Let's get going." I held out my hand.

"What about our clothes?" Edward asked motioning to the two washing machines that were still running.

"I'll get Alice to put them in the drier when she comes in tomorrow morning."

Edward smiled before wrapping his fingers around mine. "Remind me to go heavy duty on you often." Edward joked.

I shook my head. "It wasn't funny when we were role playing and it's not funny now."

End Chapter.

A/N: I've always wanted to do a role playing story. If you're confused (which I hope none of you are) Bella and Edward knew each other. In fact they were married. Bella was pretending not to know Edward because she was role playing with him. Also the laundry mat belongs to Alice and Jasper, that's why Alice would put the clothes into the dryer in the morning. I hope you enjoyed the one-shot and don't forget to review. CB will be updated soon (I hope).

Daddy's Little Cannibal

Happy Twilight Tuesday