A/N: Yes, I know. Another one-shot. But this one's funny! Hopefully. Anyway, this was inspired by a comic a friend of mine on PE2K, PhantomKat7, drew.

Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own FMA. And Kat owns the idea of Mustang giving Ed flowers that make fun of his height. Ending is mine, though. ;)

Love From Mustang

"Hey, Brother?" Ed lifted his head from where he was reading. He was lounging on the couch, with his legs stretched out and his back against the arm rest.

"Hm?" He asked, looking up at Al, who had spoken. He raised an eyebrow when he saw what the suit of armor was holding. "Why do you have flowers, Al?"

"They were outside by the front door," he replied, setting them on the coffee table next to the couch. "They say they're for you."

"What?!" Ed sat up quickly, banging his knee on the table in the process. Sure enough, written on the outside of the small card on the flowers was 'Edward Elric'. He carefully picked up the card, wondering who would give him something like a bunch of flowers. Winry, maybe? But she didn't really seem the type to give flowers, and plus, there wasn't an occasion. So who…?

He opened the card, and his eyes widened. Then his face went red in fury. Al watched him, and his expression turned worried.

"Um, Brother? What—"

"THAT DAMN MUSTANG!" The young blonde raged. "I'LL GET HIM BACK FOR THIS!" He crushed the card in his fist, then stood and threw it to the ground before stomping away. In a mood like that, Al knew better than to ask Ed what was wrong; he had a pretty good idea anyway. He picked up the card and uncrumpled it. It read:

To Fullmetal

Who is smaller than the grains of pollen in these flowers

Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist

--

"Colonel Mustang, sir?" Roy glanced up from the paper he was preparing to sign to look at Kain Fuery. The bespectacled man's face was obscured by a large bouquet of flowers.

"Fuery, what is that for?" Roy asked.

"Er, when I went to file our papers, sir, someone brought this in and said it was for you," he replied, sounding a little harried. Hawkeye stepped forward and quickly took it from him.

"Th-thank you, First Lieutenant," Fuery stammered quickly, then snapped a salute and left to get back to work. Hawkeye set the flowers on the corner of Roy's desk.

"Who is it from, sir?" She asked. Roy set down his pen and flipped open the small card with a gloved finger while it was still on the flowers. His eyes widened a bit as he read it, and then he gave Hawkeye a knowing smile.

"It says 'from your darling Riza,' Lieutenant," he said, a smile crossing his lips. It disappeared quickly, though, from the severe look that Hawkeye gave him in reply, and the way she fingered her gun holster.

"I can assure you, sir, I did not send it," she replied, her voice as no-nonsense as ever. Roy flinched as though the gun barrel was already aimed his way.

"Then who…" He looked at the card again, and the familiarity of the writing hit him. He recognized it from Fullmetal's reports. Just to make sure, he moved the bouquet in front of him. Yes, it was definitely Fullmetal's writing. Why didn't he notice it before, especially after the flowers he had sent? Angry at himself and at the younger alchemist's trick to get him to completely embarrass himself, he ripped the card off the flowers and made to snap with his other hand and burn the thing. Unfortunately, he didn't see the string connected to the card, or else he might have anticipated what was coming next. By pulling the string, he triggered the device hidden inside the flowers. Water traveled up a green tube hidden among the stems, and sprayed him, not only getting his gloves wet, but the rest of him as well. His hair and his uniform were soaked. The Colonel's face turned beet red in fury.

"FULLMETAL!"