So I'll see you there then? Multi-chaptered re-write
Title: So I'll see you there then?
Chapter: 1 of 6
Author: Chibi-zoe (me)
Series: Naruto
Pairing: Kakashi x Iruka
Rating: R
Warnings: none
Summary: Kakashi is forced to undergo sexual dysfunction therapy and his therapist turns out to be Iruka

Chapter 1

Standing in the midst of her cluttered office, Kakashi stared at his Hokage in total disbelief. There was absolutely nothing wrong with his sexuality. Just because he preferred his porn to real people was no reason to force him to undergo sexual dysfunction therapy. All of his protests were emphatically ignored, as was the childish pout barely hidden by his mask. Dismissed with a command to treat the therapy like an S-class mission, he took the scroll that was presented to him, his shoulders slumping in dejection, and teleported from the room.

Behind him, unheard, the words 'Well that went better than expected' echoed.

At home, in the safety of his bedroom, Kakashi opened the scroll and perused its contents. Most of it was excerpts from his most recent psych evaluation, but there were also comparisons with his previous evaluations, as well as comments from some of his jounin and chuunin team members. The Hokage was clearly taking a risk by allowing him to read his colleagues' comments; trusting him not to go out and terrorise them in retaliation. All in all the report didn't present a pretty picture of a happy, healthy ninja. Then he saw who his therapist was to be.

"Hokage-sama how could you?" he whispered to the empty room.

There, in glaring black and white, was the name Umino Iruka, Chuunin ranked pre-genin academy instructor, and someone that Kakashi was doomed to interact with on an extremely regular basis, due to one Uzumaki Naruto. What was far worse though was the fact that Iruka-sensei had clearly already been approached in relation to the matter, and had accepted, because there were horrifyingly explicit notes in the margins, so that he couldn't even request a different therapist be appointed.

In a fit of pique, he threw the scroll at the wall and slumped down onto his bed. He stared unseeing at the ceiling, as he tried to calm the tumultuous emotions coursing through his body, tamping down the feelings of inadequacy and the hints of betrayal. He was shinobi, if his Hokage ordered him to do something he would do it, and he would do it to the best of his ability. It didn't mean that he had to like it though, or make life easy for the other either. Taking several deep, calming breaths, he rose to his feet and retrieved the scroll, smoothing out the creases with his hand.

Carefully re-reading the so called mission parameters, he found himself automatically assessing the variables and sighed as he realised that this was probably the reason that he was being recommended for therapy. What kind of man approached a sexual encounter like it was a mission? Obviously the answer was an over-trained copy-nin. Really, what could they expect? He'd been a ninja since he was five years old. Resisting the urge to sigh once again, he carefully rolled up the scroll and placed it neatly on his desk.

Maybe a cup of tea would help? He moved into the kitchenette and turned on the kettle, resting his hip against counter whilst he waited for the water to boil. A quick glance at the clock indicated that his therapy session was due to start in less than half an hour and he could almost guarantee that his therapist would be early. It was like rubbing salt into an open wound, having the therapy occur in Kakashi's own home, but once again, he had no avenue for protest. He felt his hands curl up into fists at the injustice.

Taking further deep, calming breaths Kakashi tried to focus on his tea. The water had boiled and he turned the kettle off, boiling water was no good for tea, it would have to cool slightly. Reaching up for the tea canister, he hesitated before choosing the traditional blend. Working carefully he scooped the loose leaves into the pot, enough for two, and added the hot, but no longer boiling, water and set it aside to steep. As he had expected, the doorbell rang, twice, before the tea was ready for drinking.

"Umino-san, how can I help you?"

Iruka-sensei had his no-nonsense expression on, and was hefting a rather large messengers-satchel, Kakashi had the distinct impression that he was in for a rough evening. Opening the door further, he moved to completely block the entrance way, standing with his feet spread and his arms crossed, in order to look larger and more threatening. Iruka-sensei did not look at all fazed by his unco-operative and inhospitable behaviour; instead the man merely lowered his eyes and bowed respectfully.

"Thank you for taking the time to see me tonight Hatake-san."

As if the man hadn't walked half-way across town, out of his way, and set up camp on his doorstep. Kakashi stared down at the bowed form for a long moment, and then stared straight into Iruka-sensei's honest and unclouded eyes when the man straightened up. There was no wavering of intent and no fear, only a sincere and earnest desire to help. Huffing in defeat, Kakashi stepped aside and gestured the man towards the kitchen, the tea was probably ready to drink anyway.

"Would you like some tea Iruka-sensei?" There really wasn't any point to over-the-top formality tonight; after all he was going to be sharing intimate aspects of his life with the man.

"Yes please Kakashi-sensei" Was the quiet response, Iruka-sensei clearly trying not to make waves. He noticed the man taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly as though calming himself.

They sat in silence as they sipped at their tea. Kakashi allowed his eye to roam over the teacher, who kept his own gaze on his cup, really looking at the man for the first time since they had met. He was strangely un-remarkable sitting there quietly, and Kakashi realised that the man was astonishingly good as dissembling. Knowing the chuunin outside of work, on a casual basis through Naruto, Kakashi knew that the man was passionate and outspoken, with no respect for rank when he was riled up.

"All right then Kakashi-sensei, let's get down to business." There was a soft clink as Iruka-sensei set his, now empty, cup on the table.

With that simple statement, Kakashi felt his stomach start to churn with anxiety. It didn't help when Iruka-sensei bent down to rummage through his satchel and took out a bunch of papers, a solid-seeming brown leather-bound book and a rather dented tin pencil case. He placed these items carefully on the table and then looked Kakashi right in the eye. It felt like the other mans gaze was slowly stripping him naked. Disturbed, he tried to laugh it off.

"What, no whip? Iruka-sensei that's shameful."

"Maa, Kakashi-sensei, you should've told your shrink that you liked things like that, I'd have brought a selection."

Well, someone was clearly in a good mood today, and it wasn't Kakashi. At least it appeared as though the therapy was going to be intellectual rather than physical, which was definitely a good thing. He hadn't felt comfortable with the idea of engaging in those kinds of activities with the academy sensei.

"Now, Kakashi-sensei, I'm here today because you have difficulties being intimate with people. I'm not here to judge you or to tell you how to live your life, but I will try my best to help you work through some of your issues." Here Iruka-sensei paused to pick up several of the papers that he had placed on the table.

"First off though, I want you to fill out this questionnaire for me. I know you're going to feel uncomfortable with the questions but I need you to be completely honest in your answers. Don't worry though, it's completely confidential. I won't even be showing Hokage-sama. I just need to get a feel for where you are at right now, and I'll get you to fill out the same questionnaire at the end of our final session so that I can see how far you've progressed."

Kakashi took the proffered papers and read through them. There were five pages of questions in total, most of which were of the agree/disagree type, and some of which were short response. It was a familiar format from his yearly psych evaluations; the only thing that was different was the type of question being asked. The first couple were the standard boring ones about how he felt about himself, about his life and about his village. The next lot however were so intimate that they made him blush.

Biting his tongue to hold in a wonderfully pithy comment about how he was supposed to remember his reactions when he hadn't been laid in years, he settled for glaring at the paper and ticking 'neither agree nor disagree' for all of the things that he'd either never tried or had never been subjected to. Some of the things listed sounded more like torture methods to Kakashi than sexual acts and he thanked his lucky stars that none of the torture that he'd ever been subjected to had included anything like it.

Turning over to the final page, he was confronted by two diagrams of a naked man, one from the front and one from the back. The statement at the top of the page requested that he indicate all of his erogenous zones. Kakashi knew all about sexual sensitivity from his Icha Icha, but he'd never been curious enough to find his own. Reduced to scribbling a comment that he didn't know, he quickly re-read through his answers to be sure that he hadn't missed anything. Then he slid the paper back across the table and sat back in his chair, crossing his arms defensively.

"All done Iruka-sensei" he mumbled.

"Thank you for your hard work Kakashi-sensei."

To his consternation, Iruka-sensei then read through all of his answers out loud and even he asked questions to clarify his responses. Kakashi hadn't been so embarrassed since he was a teenager. Telling another man that he almost never masturbated, despite reading copious amounts of porn, was down right humiliating, and then the man had asked for the intimate details of how he masturbated. Did he fondle his balls, touch his ass or his nipples, or did he just stroke in a regular pattern? Kakashi was quite surprised that his mask didn't spontaneously combust.

"Thank you for your honesty Kakashi-sensei, I know that this is difficult for you. I'm going to take this and put together a plan of action to suit your responses. In the meantime I'd like for you to read through this book" he pushed the book across the table "before our session next week. It should help you feel a little more comfortable with some of the things that we're going to discuss."

Kakashi looked at the title of the book and nearly fell off his chair; it was a book entirely about sexual kinks and practices. Just as he was about to open the front cover and take a peek, a large ink-stained hand entered his field of vision and gently pressed down on the cover of the book. He raised his gaze to Iruka-sensei's serious face.

"I suggest that you eat first, not everything inside will appeal to you and you will find some downright stomach churning. Enjoy your evening, Kakashi-sensei."

He sat and watched as Iruka-sensei carefully packed up his things and let himself out. Then he absently took a sip of stone cold tea and was jolted into action. He had been instructed to treat this as an S-class mission, therefore he would obey Iruka-sensei's command and eat first, and then he would settle down to study his new sex manual. Perhaps he should have something bland for dinner; it was always so disturbing to throw up in technicolour.

By the end of the week, Kakashi felt like he'd been scarred for life. The book had been alternately fascinating and disgusting, some people found the oddest things arousing. On the other hand, he'd found a whole raft of things that had piqued his interest and he was eager to try them out, but he was going to need some supplies first. A quick henge and a sex shop later he was the proud owner of a whole bag full of sex aids, including a yaoi manga that he'd heard a couple of teenaged girls gushing over.

As he strolled home, it was extremely difficult to resist the urge to take the book out and start reading, but he wanted to be alone when he read it for the first time. It would certainly ruin his image if he walked into a building because a scene was so fascinating that he forgot to look where he was going. However, the further he walked, the more the manga played on his mind. Surely a tiny peek wouldn't hurt? Just a couple of pages to see if it was going to be as good as the girls claimed it was? Maybe if he sat somewhere where people wouldn't notice him?

Annoyed with himself for giving in and reading the entire first chapter, Kakashi hopped down out of the tree he'd ensconced himself in and began making his way home. The manga looked very promising and he couldn't wait to find out what was going to happen, it was much more interesting than his Icha Icha. His hands twitched at the thought of his usual habit, used to carrying something as he walked. Sighing, he tucked his shopping bag under his arm and stuck his hands in his pockets, away from further temptation.