Title: Shattered
Chapter: 1/1
Rating: M
Pairings: Voldemort/Harry, Severus/Harry, Harry/Harry
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Warnings: This story will contain situations of character insanity and character self-arm, dubious consent and non-consensual sex, extreme violence, relationships of the homosexual nature, and character mental instability, as well as graphic depictions of gore, this story is AU and does not take place within the Harry Potter timeline
Summary: There's only so much you can take before you shatter and break, shiver and quake into a million pieces never to be put back together.

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Shattered

My bleeding fingers picked and plucked at all the larger fallen shards of the mirror surrounding me on the cold unyielding floor that I laid upon, not willing to move, I didn't dare to shudder a breath out of my burning lungs but I remained smiling. I stared at the corpse a bit a ways from me, fallen against the wall having crumpled there after the final blow. Hundreds of thousand of shards stared up at me, my pale mouth smiling back at me, my green eyes stared back at me with accusations that not only sliced but bit, stung, slapped. My eyes knew all of my secrets as they looked back at me, a mirror could only reflect.

A mirror should only be allowed to reflect.

They looked at him with something akin to sadness. Why should they be sad, they weren't the one's who had to do it. He could see that relief in them too, their hands would be clean at the end of all this. Not a single eye was wet though. Cruel hypocrites.

"Harry," he turned his head to look at the boy who he would have died for, would have stood by for everything, the boy he called brother and who was now abandoning him to the hounds, "Harry there's no other way," a soft voice.

They thought if his brother and sister had told him the situation he would have been more understanding. He understood well enough, that it was Ron and Hermione telling him made the cruelness that much more tangible.

"Well then, why don't you go Ron?" he hissed back but his words were dead, they held no slice.

They all looked at him, a means to their ends. He was the one to give up for the lives of thousands, the lamb to appease the wolves. He smiled at them, watched them all cringe. Yes, smiling had always been his weapon in this matter; it was his most powerful act. Fighting and tantrums only made them feel more self-righteous, you could sacrifice someone who whined, but someone who smiled haunted you.

"Please Harry," his sister bit her lip, her eyes dry as well, "please."

"Alright," he chuckled.

I laughed, feeling tears continue to fall down my eyes. All around me were little pretty shards, little itty-bitty shards that nibbled into my flesh and sought my blood. I sat up, clutching a large shard, chuckling as more and more slivers sought purchase in my palms and sunk in as I pushed up. I could here the soft clinks and clatters as the pieces shifted beneath me. The moon gazed at me through every window, tutting in disapproval, the stone walls watched, and listened to me.

He sat in the windowsill watched the world pass by, stripped to his skin as he could hear the laughter outside. They said he wasn't well, that he was sick and so shouldn't go to the party, he had to attend to his cold and get well for the mission ahead. He had more than just a cold.

He chuckled as he pushed the window open and leaned out a little. He looked down at the long drop below and wondered if it was true that it wasn't the fall that killed you, but suffocation. What he wouldn't give to find out.

"Soon sweets," his reflection in the window whispered. He giggled as he listened to their partying, laughing and giggling with glasses clinking and clicking in celebration. He felt water drip down his eyes and onto his cheeks as he fell away from window and landed on his back on the cold stone floor, looking up at the dark cob-web infested ceiling. He laughed because it was easier than crying though that didn't stop the tears.

"I hate you," he laughed, "I fucking hate you all!" he screamed but they were downstairs laughing and living and loving, why would they possibly hear him?

He curled up on his side, the tears falling harder and faster as he stared at the mark on his left arm, his death sentence and their salvation. He curled up and continued to laugh as the tears fell.

"I love you, Harry," his reflection said as his eyes looked into the window that stared back at him. "I love you," he heard it say. "Please don't cry Harry, please sweets don't cry," he heard it soothe to him even as his own lips formed the words. He imagined arms wrapping around him, curling around him and holding him. "I'm here Harry please don't cry." He pretended that the arms were not his own as he continued to hear the laughing voices downstairs. He hated those voices downstairs. They had nothing to fear anymore, they didn't suffer; they wouldn't suffer, because he was the one who would suffer for them. Why didn't anyone ask him? Why didn't everyone ever ask him?

"I hate you, I hate you, I HATE YOU!" he couldn't recall when his laughter turned into sobs and those arms wrapped tighter around him.

They were the only things that listened to me anymore. I stood up and little clinks and plunks filled the room as slivers fell off my clothes and onto the stone floor. The stench of my own blood made me dizzy, but it was alright, it was better than the smell of others' blood. I giggled as I bent my head back staring up at the ceiling, pristine and empty, the canopy of the bed lying beside me in shambles. I stepped back, glass sliding into the soles of my bare feet and with each weighing step more and more shards dug into me. Broken wood lay among the mass of shards, bit splinters into my skin.

Pale spider-leg fingers crawled along his skin and traced the mark on his left arm before creeping up his bare shoulders. Crimson eyes narrowed in amusement and read his every wince, his every shudder that those fingers wrenched out of his body. He looked over the paper-white naked shoulder as human fangs bit and sought purchase into the flesh of his neck. A mirror was in the canopy of the bed and his reflection reached out for him. A white demon of a snake was atop him as well, blood pooling down his shoulder as crying eyes tried to reassure him. Hisses pooled in their ears and he laughed as he was ripped apart, as crimson eyes narrowed and blocked his view of his reflection. Those fingers gripped his throat and he kept laughing.

"I love you," his reflection whispered and he laughed even as he felt his lungs start to burn with each sharp tearing apart thrust of his body.

"I know," he smiled as he held his arms up and wrapped them around his reflection, or tried too.

Fingers loosened and he leaned his head back and once again his laughter turned into sobs.

"Please don't cry," he heard his reflection try to soothe. "Please."

A lipless mouth pulled in amusement.

"Look at the little savior now," those eyes mocked but he kept his eyes on his reflection, reaching out for him and sobbing.

"Oh look at you Harry," I cooed before I looked back down at the empty mirror-frame two large cracked pieces clung with pride near the top of the frame, the armoire shattered beside it. Like an omnipotent warning I saw a large crack right down the middle of my face's reflection. I frowned at the boy in the mirror, tears were in his eyes. "Now Harry," I purred as I walked along the glass and splinters and towards the mirror, a large shard in my bleeding fingers, "don't cry," I soothed. "Shhh... don't cry," I put a hand on the boy in the mirror, my blood making his face dirty. I giggled but the boy in the mirror didn't correspond. "I'm sorry I broke you… I didn't think he'd attack the furniture," I laughed as I rested my head against the cold surface of the cracked mirror. Funny, I had expected the mirror to be hot after such violence.

He watched as they brought the family in, those pale spider hands carding through his hair. Even as the terrified and shrieking family was pushed to the floor surrounded by waves of black ink very few waves pulled their eyes away from him. His naked flesh covered in bites and marks and burns. His head lulled to the side as he looked around the room, meeting every set of eyes and seeking his reflection in every single one. Where was his reflection?

He found his reflection in onyx eyes that did not look anywhere else except his green eyes. He smiled at his reflection, receiving a concerned frown as his reply. He reached out for it, the shackles around his wrists clinking and shaking with his movement. He pulled back his hands and laughed. He laughed and laughed as the others became silent and watched him stand up and walk towards the shivering family.

"Look," he whispered his reflection as he fell to his knees beside the family.

There was a mother a father, a little boy and two teenage girls. A picture of perfection.

He laughed as he stood up again, feeling the eyes of his reflection on him. He looked for those onyx eyes since they were the only ones his reflection resided within.

"Look," he laughed to his reflection, "aren't they pretty?" he asked as he pulled the mother up and hugged her.

"Harry," he heard his reflection whisper. "Harry don't."

"I want one," he told his reflection as he moved to caress the mother's cheek, laughing. "Can I have one?"

"You can have whatever you want pet, if you behave," those crimson eyes said behind him and the bile rose in his throat.

"I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!" he screamed as he hugged the woman close. "I was talking to my reflection," he giggled as he turned to look back at his reflection. He then looked up at the mother, pouting. "Be my mother?"

The woman screamed in sheer terror as a reply to his question and his eyes narrowed.

"Harry don't she's scared," his reflection said even as his own mouth moved.

He grabbed the woman by the throat, laughing as he tore it out, feeling hot liquid splash along his entire body.

"Why! WHY CAN'T I HAVE ONE!" he screamed as he did the same to the rest of the other perfect family. It wasn't fair! He heard his laughter shift and change, salt mixing in with the taste of copper in his mouth.

He felt arms wrap around him, but they were not his reflection's arms, these arms restrained him.

"Please forgive me Harry," I sobbed, I saw the mark on my arm and realized what the problem was. "Oh Harry I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm scaring you, shh shh, see look," I held up the large mirror shard, a giggle-bubble bursting on my lips. "I'll get rid of it watch." I brought the shard along my skin, making sure to show Harry that I was cutting out the mark that scared him. "What would they think if they saw that dirty little mark on your arm? But don't worry," I laughed seeing flesh and mark peel away with the slice of the glass, "soon it will be gone Harry."

He petted his mother's hair, smiling as he hugged her close.

"Mother isn't in the mood for telling stories right now Harry," his reflection in the mirror beside the armoire was petting his own mother.

"I have a mother," he giggled as he hugged mother close. Mother was so pretty, he helped pick out her clothes everyday and made sure that the nasty wound on her neck was tended too. The door to his room opened and he heard the soft whispering of velvet but he batted that away like a buzzing fly.

"Go away, mother is sleeping," he said as he cuddled into mother's bony shoulder.

He felt onyx eyes on him and snarled at them. Lifting his head and no longer seeing his reflection there. He didn't care for those eyes anymore. He watched those onyx show a flash of fear and pain.

"Mother is getting thin," he decided he would just ignore those onyx eyes and he looked back at his reflection. "Mother won't eat!" he whimpered, hugging her close but she didn't hug him back.

"Harry," his reflection soothed and he felt his reflection's arms wrap around his torso, felt teeth on his neck. "Mother is dead," that voice appeased.

He watched as the rosy flesh of his mother fell away to bleach white bone, as the wig fell off her head and the skull roll off the bed.

He screamed.

"I'm sorry Harry," I whispered as I pulled the skin away from my arm and dropped it on the floor. I smiled as the boy in the mirror finally smiled back at me and his hands reached out, cupping my cheeks. "Look Harry," I smiled as I pointed to the corpse against the wall. "Look at what I've done for you. Tell me you love me Harry," I hiccupped as I fought down the tears and in my desperation for Harry to look at me I clutched onto the wrists of those cold arms. Harry wasn't supposed to be cold, he was warm, Harry had always been warm. "Please Harry; please I love you so much."

He felt the onyx eyes wrap around his body, he laughed as he just looked up at his reflection in the canopy mirror. Long black strands were getting in his mouth and he spat them out as he felt his head keep bumping into the headboard.

"I can help you," those onyx eyes whispered, "just give me this."

"Just look at me," his reflection smiled as he saw his reflection in those onyx eyes. "I can see you," he giggled.

"I know Harry," his reflection kissed him and he wrapped his arms around him. "Such a good boy Harry, anyone who says otherwise is just dumb."

He chuckled at his reflections words, his legs pushed further apart.

"I love you," he told his reflection. "Don't leave me."

"Never Harry, never."

He smiled and felt cold lips on his own again.

"I love you Harry," I whispered and closed my eyes. "You used to say it so much, what's wrong; tell me please, I got rid of him for you. So please tell me what's wrong."

I felt my knees buckle and slam down onto the largest pile of shards and splinters. I gripped my hair, feeling the slivers embedded in my palm cut and scratch my forehead. "Please answer Harry," I sobbed. "I took you away from them, why won't you say you love me anymore?"

He sobbed as he curled up on the bed, his reflection watching him with mourning green eyes while cold arms wrapped around him.

"No more! No more I can't take it anymore!" he sobbed, turning into his reflections embrace as he just sobbed, his shoulders shaking and shuddering. "I didn't want this! I want to go home!"

"Shh, shh Harry," his reflection rubbed his back and put their foreheads together. "I'm here."

A long keening wail shook and rocked them both as he curled up in a tighter ball.

"I didn't want this! I just wanted my life to be normal! I'm not crazy! I'm not insane! I'm just Harry! I'm just HARRY!"

Tear after tear fell as he remembered how his friends had forced him to join as Voldemort's whore once Dumbledore and Remus died and couldn't stop this plan, how the plan was that he was to kill the Dark Lord at the opportune time when it presented itself.

"I know sweets," his reflection soothed, "I know."

He screamed as he could still feel other hands on him, potion making hands, could still remember how he was touched and pulled apart. He kept screaming as more tears fell. Snape was supposed to help was supposed to have kept him safe. Snape was dead now, Voldemort had caught one of their trysts.

"I HATE THEM! I HATE ALL OF THEM!" he sobbed like a broken doll, clinging with a dangerous grip to his reflection.

"Harry," his reflection whispered, "Harry, let me come out, I will make them all go away."

He looked up, eyes stinging from his tears and he hiccupped.

"Wh-Where will I go?"

"You'll go in the mirror Harry, you'll be safe there. I promise, I won't let anyone ever hurt you again."

He started laughing.

"Please don't be sad," I crawled over to the corpse, turning it on its side for Harry to see as I looked at empty crimson eyes and a lax lipless mouth. I looked over to one of the shards. "See, I told you no one would ever hurt you again precious."

Harry was in the mirror now, safe and sound as I controlled his body, flexing every finger and rolling every muscle. I would destroy all those that hurt my Harry, first would be the one that had caused everything to have occurred, right down to Harry not having a mother. And then, then I would go to the ones that forced Harry into this. I grinned as I held the large dagger mirror-shard in my hand. That bastard had taken every weapon possible, I had had no choice but the break the mirror I put Harry in, the canopy mirror had been too high up for me to break. No, the one by the armoire worked quite well.

I watched, grinning as he came into the room, crimson eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"Harry?" that sick lipless mouth hissed, trepidation already rising.

I grinned.

"Harry's safe and sound."

Slash and grab.

Kick, punch, the sound of more shattering mirrors.

Spells but they bounced off me, I was only a reflection.

Blood splattering everywhere and the sound of clinking and falling and shattering.

Spells crumbled.

Slash and grab and destroy.

I heard the crash and smash and crack of breaking wood, of shattering mirrors.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

It hit me and I laughed before it bounced off and slammed into that monster, sending him flying into the wall. I continued to laugh as I fell to my knees.

"Look Harry," I giggled as I moved to lie down. "Look at what I've done."

"Aren't you happy," I whispered as I rain my bloody nails down the side of that shallow pale face. I felt cold arms wrap around my shoulders. My body shaking as I held the body of the monster in my arms. He had started it all for my Harry. He was the cause for my Harry's sadness.

"I'm so proud of you Harry," I heard the voice whispered in my ears but the ringing in my head was almost too loud to have heard the words.

"I love you," I whimpered, feeling my vision go in and out, turning black and fuzzy before going clear again.

"I know, I love you too."

I couldn't bring myself to laugh or scream as my tears fell in silent rivulets.

End.