Sorting Hat: J.K. Rowling was ill the day the Earth stood still

But she went and wrote us a book

Filled with magic and love

Voldermort was the evil man

Then something went wrong, for Harry and Ron

The train left without them

And at a spell bound pace

It came from an un-known place

And this is how the message ran:

Magic fiction (ooh ooh ooh) double feature

Voldermort (ooh ooh ooh), will build a creature

See Death Eaters fighting (ooh ooh ooh), Harry and Ginny

And Tonks gets, pregnant by Lupin

Oh oh at the early morning, double feature, picture show

I know Voldermort wasn't too happy

When Harry escaped yet again

And I got really got hot when I saw Moaning Murtle

Try to look at Harry in the bath

Cornelius resigned, Professor Trelawny was fired

And they were really pissed off about that

But if Gryffindor's are full of pride, said Dumbeldore to his students

Then Slytherin are just sneaking twats

Magic fiction (ooh ooh ooh) double feature

Voldermort (ooh ooh ooh) will build a creature

See Death Eaters fighting (ooh ooh ooh) Harry and Ginny

And Tonks get pregnant by Lupin

Oh oh at the early morning, double feature, picture show

I wanna go oh oh to the early morning double feature picture show

By J.K.R oh oh at the early morning double feature picture show

In the front row at the early morning double feature picture show

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Argh, so awful I know! Please, just shoot me now. I think Blimey Hermione is slightly better though...