Warning: If any of you readers can't take a bit of teasing about anything concerning your favorite characters, I would suggest you to click the 'back' button on the top left hand corner of your screen.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Naruto characters although I do own a Naruto scrollwall.

A/N: This is a total crack fic, something I came up with when was angry with myself for making a bunch of careless mistakes during a test. Some one-shots pertaining to this may be posted up at a later date.

-

Title: Reasons why Konohagakure should be called Emogakure.

Uchiha Madara: Emo-ing by having a pathological obsession with wanting to take over the world.

Reason: Got dropped one too many times on the head as a child, as a result the Byakugan turned red due to blood vessels bursting. At the same time, his brain cells also started to malfunction, thus creating the 'ultimate' bloodline limit which could only be achieved by killing your best friend.

Personal Commentary: It's no wonder that most Uchihas have a tendency to turn blind... I guess getting dropped on the head causes some serious brain damage to a person.

Sarutobi (Sandaime) : Emo-ing by killing himself via paperwork.

Reason: Been on one too many guilt trips in his entire lifetime.

Personal Commentary: I mean, Kage Bunshin no Jutse can be used in more than just fighting. And they call you 'The Professor'? And is this just me or does everyone you teach go all emo-ish like? You are a freakishly good teacher when it comes to imparting techniques, but totally suck at imparting moral values.

Hatake Kakashi: Emo-ing by covering his face.

Reasons: When his father died, he covered half of his face. When Obito died, he covered another quarter of his face. When Minato died, he went into ANBU which had a nifty mask to cover his entire face.

Personal Commentary: Just because someone close to you died without a care about you, because of you or in order to protect you, doesn't give you a valid reason to cover your face and drive your fangirls crazy.

Danzo: Emo-ing by creating 'Perfect' ninjas without emotions.

Reasons: His mommy and daddy withheld too many hugs from him when he was a kid and he wanted to get revenge by depriving many other kids of their mommies and daddies.

Personal Commentary: Stripping 'your' Root members of all emotions? Jealous much? I mean, you can't get any emo-er than that. Just because you didn't receive enough hugs doesn't mean you should deprive other orphans of their daily hugs and kisses.

Maito Gai: Emo-ing by wearing Green skin-tight spandex suits.

Reason: When he was very, very young, he looked into a mirror. Traumatized by the first look at his…face, he made a decision. If he has to suffer by looking into the mirror every day, he is going to make sure everyone else suffers too.

Personal Commentary: No one can have such a lousy fashion sense, ever. Even Orochimaru looks nicer than him.

Jiraiya: Emo-ing by peeking at public baths.

Reason: He had too many hugs given to him by his mom when he was young.

Personal Commentary: Just because you had an early introduction into sex by stumbling into a session involving both your parents in a bedroom, as a kid, with handcuffs and stuff…Doesn't give you a legitimate reason to peek at all the girls in the bath. The fact that you then use that information to write porn is even worse.

Orochimaru: Emo-ing by taking over other people's bodies.

Reason: His mommy has always told him that he will always be 'beautiful' and 'pretty'. Thus, when he became older and starting becoming manlier, he freaked out.

Personal Commentary: notice how most of the bodies he took over or choose to take over always looked pretty and girlish? Eg. The grass kunoichi, Kimimaro, Sasuke…

Minato Namikaze: Emo-ing by sacrificing his soul to the Shinigami and sentencing his one and only son to a lifetime of hatred and scorn-being a demon vessel-without anyone to look out for him.

Reason: His mom told him one too many heroic stories with happy endings.

Personal Commentary: Let's give this guy a round of applause! The Emo of the century award goes to… Minato Namikaze! He has doomed both him and his son in just one emo-filled action! Yay to him!

Gekko Hayate: Emo-ing by looking half-dead all the time.

Reason: He found out that the dead-er he looked, the higher the possibility of getting a girlfriend.

Personal Commentary: You remember back to the time when you were a child? Whenever you were hurt, all the females will start flocking around you? Well, this guy just took this lesson to the next level.

Sarutobi Asuma: Emo-ing by running off to the Fire Daimyo to act as his personal bodyguard.

Reason: He got neglected by his father when he was young, and thus, was jealous of the attention his father gave Naruto.

Personal Commentary: Seriously, how much more jealous can you get? I mean, get into a quarrel with Papa and then run off to the only guy with more authority than your father in the whole of Hi no Kuni.

Uchiha Itachi: (Do I really have to state the obvious?... Fine.) Emo-ing by killing off his entire clan.

Reason: His mummy didn't spend enough time and care changing his nappies after each mission he went on after his younger brother was born.

Personal Commentary:…

Uchiha Sasuke: Emo-ing by ranting his 'I am an avenger' speech.

Reason: (Again, do I have to state the obvious?) His brother killed his mommy and daddy and he had no one to change his nappies anymore.

Personal Commentary: It's amazing how similar he is to someone he supposedly sworn his entire life to kill.

Umino Iruka: Emo-ing by suicide via bankruptcy.

Reason: No one sane and in love with their wallet would willingly subject themselves to Naruto's appetite for ramen more than once after they saw the bottomless pit he calls his stomach.

Rock Lee: Emo-ing by looking like Gai.

Reason: He was really, really desperate to have a 'father'.

Personal Commentary: Damn, he must have been really desperate.

-

A/N: Please read and review? Flames welcomed but keep in mind, you have been warned.