Summary: Draco wants to win a chess game. Ginny has other plans.
Disclaimer: I am neither rich nor blonde nor British though I often wish I was the latter. That being said, none of these characters are mine and I solemnly swear that I make no money off Draco tear or Ginny, but their witty cough repartee is all my invention.
A/N: My first fanfic—ever, so please, be gentle. Reviews would be highly appreciated, flames will be extinguished.
Distractions
All warfare is based on deception. …… Hold out baits to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him.
—The Art of War, Sun Tzu
"Dra-co."
"Ginny, I can't concentrate when you do that."
"But, Draco, I'm bored."
"Yes, but I'm just about to beat your brother at Wizards' Chess. We'll have fun in a moment.
"…"
"Ginny, don't pout at me like that, it won't work."
"…"
"Glaring won't work either."
"…"
"Ginny! What are you doing?"
"I would have thought that was obvious."
"Woman, you cannot nibble on my ear willy-nilly in front of your brother! Besides, it's my turn; I need to concentrate."
"You can concentrate—on me."
"No, I refuse to lose to your brother. I am determined to prove my superior chess skill."
"I don't care about your superior chess skill. I care about your other skills."
"Eurgh."
"I heard that, Weasley."
"Dra-co, I'm hungry."
"You know where the kitchen is, don't you?"
"…"
"Erm— dear— I meant— Millie!"
"Yes, Master Malfoy."
"Please get my wife some lunch."
"Yes, sir."
"…"
"Why are you scowling?"
"I'm not scowling."
"Yes, you were, and you should know it looks rather unattractive."
"…"
"I meant— er— a scowl is much too unattractive an expression to mar your beautiful features, dear."
"…"
"Did she buy it?"
"Not for a second."
"Where'd she go?"
"To our room, I expect. Thank Merlin she's gone, now I can beat you in no time."
"Fat chance, Malfoy, I've always been ace at chess."
"Much like you were ace at keeper."
"…"
"Stop glaring at me, Weasley, you know you were an abysmal keeper. Now see if we can finish this game before she comes back."
"…"
"Okay, I take it back, you had your moments. Now move, Weasley."
"…"
"Draco, I'm back."
"That's lovely, Gin."
"…"
"Don't snicker, Weasley, it's unbecoming. Ginny! What are you doing?"
"Draco, darling, you always ask the most obvious questions."
"Er—Ginevra, I'm afraid this is rather ill-timed."
"No, it's not. I can snog my husband whenever I want, wife's privilege."
"But I'm trying to beat your brother."
"Don't whine, Malfoy, it's unbecoming."
"…"
"Very well then, I won't kiss you."
"Oh, thank Merlin!"
"…"
"I meant— 'Oh thank Merlin my beautiful wife is so understanding.'"
"Flattery will get you nowhere, Draco."
"That's not what you said last night."
"…"
"Eurgh, Malfoy, those are images of my sister I did not need to picture."
"Your turn, Weasley."
"I noticed."
…
…
"Er—Ginny, what are you doing now?"
"What, I can't give my husband a massage now?!"
"No, no, no, dear, it's just— well it feels good—"
"It's meant to."
"And it's breaking my concentration."
"…"
"Glaring has no effect on me, Gin"
"…"
"Malfoy."
"Don't get testy, Weasley. There, I've moved, it's your turn."
"Check."
"Damn."
"…"
"…"
"Ginevra, dearest, would your mind, terribly, allowing me to finish my game before continuing your—ministrations?"
"…"
"Of course if you don't want to…"
"Your turn again, Malfoy."
"…"
"Don't laugh at him, Ron; you'll make him even tetchier."
"…"
"…"
"Thank you, my dear, for so valiantly standing up for me—brave little Gryffindor that you are."
"Checkmate, Malfoy."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Draco, are you alright?"
"…"
"Come on, Malfoy, I told you I was good at this."
"…"
"Draco? You're going to have to say something sooner or later."
"You sneaky little Weasel!"
"I—what—what are you on about, darling?"
Oh, don't play coy with me! Easily distracted indeed. You did this on purpose!"
"…"
"…"
"Don't give me that condescending look, I am not paranoid! I know both of you came up with this plan to make me lose. I just can't believe my own wife would do this to me."
"I must admit, Malfoy, disbelief is a very good look on you. It's very refreshing."
"…"
"There's that scowl again, I'll take it as my cue to leave. Gin, thanks for the game and I'll see you next weekend at the Burrow—if you live through this."
"Bye, Ron."
"…"
"I thought he'd never leave. I was wondering what a bloke had to do to get a few minutes alone with his wife. Feel free to continue your ministrations, Ginevra."
"…"
"You look so Slytherin when you smirk like that."
"Don't pretend you don't love it, ferret."
"How could I not? I love you, you cunning weasel."
"I love you more, you sneaky ferret."
-
The difficulty of tactical maneuvering consists in turning the devious into the direct, and misfortune into gain.
—The Art of War, Sun Tzu