yup, i know it's no longer tuesday.... sorry about that. it's been a busy week. thank you all once again for the great reviews, they really make my day. yes, this is the final chapter of this story, i know it seems like there's a lot to wrap up and there is. lol. this story is part one of a two part 'mid-series finale'. the second half of this story will be called 'Out of Sight but in my Mind' and should be out most likely in february. between now and then there will be the final weechester story of the series. hope you all enjoy :) and for anyone wondering, yes i do have the entire series mapped out from beginning to end ;)

AFTERGLOW

Chapter 13

Dean relaxed on the old sofa in the back room, staring off into space. They'd been back at Kerri's house for three days, but to Dean it felt like an eternity. Things were different between them all now, well, things were different between Kerri and Sam. Dean couldn't remember much of the last week, most of his time lost to the void of dehydration and abandonment. Deep in his heart he knew Sam and Kerri hadn't given up on him, but that fact didn't lessen the fear one bit. He hated being alone, and somehow the spirit knew his worst fear was to die without his family— to just vanish into nothing.

Dean didn't leave a lot behind, he knew that. He had no home, no milestones to speak of, no real legacy. It was completely plausible for him to simply drive down the road and off into oblivion— and it terrified him. He couldn't be left behind, couldn't be forgotten, because that meant he was truly alone. It was already too easy for him to be pushed aside, too easy for people to overlook him. Sam had gone to school, his father had walked away, and Kerri had never called, not once. When he was out of sight, he was also out of mind and that was the biggest fear Dean ever faced.

Dean was pulled from his mind by the sound of someone descending the back stairs, making their way to the kitchen. The blonde hunter closed his eyes, leaning back against the soft pillows behind him, taking in all the smells and sounds of the old house. He really did love it there. It was the closest thing to home he had since the fire, the closest to normal he had ever been. He was safe there, whole there, loved there. His family seemed stronger when they were in Valley, less weathered, less beaten down. It was something Dean couldn't explain but something he needed desperately.

But something had changed while he was being held captive, something he needed to know. Kerri and Sam had always gotten along well, Kerri acting a bit like an older sibling to the kid. But ever since they returned from the clinic they'd both been lost in their own little worlds. And except for being overbearing caregivers whenever Dean moved, they both seemed more than preoccupied. Sam was either in the library or out somewhere alone, and Kerri was just wandering around the house in a daze.

Dean listened to the occupant of the kitchen, a few short footsteps telling him it was someone much smaller than his six-foot-five brother. "Kerri?"

"Yeah, you ok?" Kerri asked, appearing at the doorway a second later, a mug in her hand.

"Coffee?" Dean eyed the mug in Kerri's hand, pushing himself up on his elbows.

"I'm making tea, actually. And you're off the good stuff, doctor's orders."

"Since when do you follow orders?"

"Since you nearly died. Caffeine will dehydrate you, which is what we're trying to avoid." Kerri motioned to the bottle of Gatorade on the coffee table before sitting on the sofa by Dean's legs, forcing the older man to pull in his knees.

"You're over exaggerating."

"No, Dean, I'm not, but believe what you want." Kerri snapped back, standing.

"Wait, wait." Dean lurched forward, grabbing Kerri's arm before she could get off the sofa. "Look, Ker, I'm sorry. It was a close one, but, you know, can't we just forget about it."

Kerri bowed her head, a single tear falling from her eyes as she sat back on the sofa. Dean felt his heart plummet, his adrenaline jumping as he sat up fully, wrapping an arm around Kerri's trembling shoulders. "Ker?"

"I can't forget it, Dean. I thought you were dead. I saw you laying there and now every time I close my eyes it's all I can see. And I just want it to stop."

Dean moved closer, running his hand up and down her back. She was shaking, though he could tell she was trying to gain some kind of control over her tumbling emotions. It had been a long few days, for all of them. Kerri took another deep breath, Dean resting his hand on the back of her neck. He needed her to talk to him, needed to understand her the way he used to, to talk with her the way he used to.

"I'll do anything I can to help you."

Kerri looked up at him, her blue eyes searching. "What?"

"What's in your head— I'll do anything in my power to make it right. If I knew what was going on I never would have let it happen."

"It's not your fault, Dean."

"It might not be my fault, but it's my problem now, it's our problem. You've been by yourself too long, I should have come back sooner."

"What's done is done."

"Ker—." Dean began, moving closer still. He needed to be near her, needed to feel her, to know she was still there for him, that she'd always be there for him. Dean wanted to ask her about her life without him, wanted to know about each and every moment he had missed, but he just couldn't find the words.

When had she become so withdrawn? When had she met Brian and what the hell had she seen in the guy in the first place? And when did she find out what her father had done? Dean's mind drifted back to another secret Tom Harrison had kept from his eldest daughter, a secret Dean had learned at the age of six. He took a deep breath, his hand sliding away from Kerri's back and onto her knee— she'd been used by too many people, been hurt by too many people, and Dean was going to put a stop to it. She was his to protect, his to care for, his to love— and he wasn't going to let anyone else put her through more pain.

"What was it like, you know, without us?" Dean asked after a few minutes, still staying in physical contact with the redhead.

"Different."

"That's it, just 'different'."

"I don't know what you wanna hear, Dean."

"I wanna hear the truth, Kerri. Don't tell me you're fine, don't make up some story just cause you think it's what I want. Ker, you were my best friend— for a long time— but lately, I feel like I've been losing you."

Kerri looked up at the statement, staring deep into Dean's green eyes. And, in that instant he could feel the years slip away. He was looking at the Kerri he remembered for the first time in a very long time. "Ev kind of snapped."

"What do you mean she snapped?"

"I don't really know how to explain it. For the first couple weeks she would sit at the end of the drive, hell I even had to bring her dinner there. She was convinced you were gonna come back. I mean, convinced, no one could change her mind."

"How'd you get her to snap out of it?"

"I didn't really. She was never the same. When we were all together I guess I never really saw what she was going through. There was always something going on, always someone doing something, I guess I just missed how attached she really was. And she hated Brian, I mean, hated him."

"Speaking of Brian, how'd you get involved with a guy like that anyway?"

"A guy like what, normal?"

"Yeah. No offense, but you never struck me as the happy housewife."

"I don't know. He moved to Valley a few years ago, and the crazy guy fell for me. I'm honestly just as baffled as you. I was delivering some windows to one of the antique stores in town and he was there, said he saw me on the sidewalk and was never the same."

"What were you stripping or something?"

Kerri laughed, a full laugh Dean hadn't heard in ages— he'd forgotten how much he missed the sound. "One track Winchester never fails to deliver. Apparently he can see through my crazy 'redhead demon' exterior and into my inner awesomeness."

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. But marry him?"

"I don't know. I guess I was looking for a way out and he came at the right time."

"A way out of hunting?"

"A way out of everything. Out of Valley, out of my family, out of hunting."

"Out of your family?"

"For a bunch of guys that visited a couple times a year, the hole you left behind was pretty damn impressive. Dad kept going away on 'business' and Evelyn got kind of creepy. You know she used to follow me no matter where I went, it was like she was my own personal ninja. I just don't know what happened to her."

"I do." Dean began, his mind drifting back to one terrifying and rain soaked summer. He knew exactly when Evelyn had begun to change. "The Watcher."

"You think it did something to her that we missed?" Kerri began, her eyes growing wide at the idea that she could have let her sister suffer.

"No, not supernatural anyway. It was the first time she'd ever seen anything supernatural, the first time she really understood what our dad's did. And it nearly killed us all. When you were missing, Ker, she would just sit at the back door and wait for me to bring you back, and I couldn't." Dean's voice cracked at the memory, the fears of that long ago hunt coming back like a wave. It had been in that exact room when Evelyn saw the Watcher the first time.

"The way she looked at me, each day the hope in her eyes drained a little bit more. But then you came back and she kind of rebounded— but it wasn't the last hunt."

"I know, '92 was the year you got hit up by that black dog— you were pretty ripped up. Ev sat by the door all night just watching you, making sure you were still there."

"We really did let her down, didn't we." Dean began, his voice hitching as he spoke.

Whenever he thought of Evelyn he though of that dark haired little girl and her tea parties, her pigtails bouncing on her shoulders as she bounded around the house. She was always so full of life, always so giving, so loving— she wore her heart on her sleeve for all to see. But the hunting world took and took, and over time that constant beating took its toll on the little brunette. She learned early on that if you didn't fight for what you had, it was very easy to lose it all. Dean always labeled Kerri as the withdrawn one, the secluded one— but Ev had been a mystery he never fully understood. She put on a brave front, acted the way she thought the world wanted her to— and that hid all the turmoil buried beneath.

"I should have done more after you left, but—." Kerri shrugged, and Dean knew they were now going into uncharted territory.

"But what?"

"I found out what my father was doing. He made me promise to keep it a secret, made up some bull story. He didn't wanna scare Evelyn. As much as he loved her, I think he knew even less about her than we did."

"Bull story? So, he never out and out told you?"

"Nope. He was always real withdrawn about it."

"I'd hope so, he was freaking screwing with your brain and he put you in danger." Dean growled, trying to contain his emotions. He had liked Tom Harrison, had respected the man. But the moment he found out what Tom had done to Kerri that respect was stripped away. "How'd you find out anyway?"

"The procedure had a few— side effects."

"Side effects? What the hell kind of side effects?" Dean asked, gripping Kerri's arm, turning her to face him. He didn't want her ducking away, didn't want her shrugging this off. He wanted her to look him in the eye and tell him the complete story.

"The brain's only so big."

"Cut to the chase, Kerri, what are the side effects?" Dean couldn't lose her, not now, not ever.

"Well— I can control it now."

"Spit it out."

"When my head got too full the memories would kind of fight for dominance, against the real world and other memories. It triggered seizures."

Dean's heart beat painfully in his chest, his grip on her shoulders tightening as he tired to take in what she was saying. She'd had seizures and her father had asked her to cover it up. It was unreal.

"He told people I had epilepsy and they bought it. Over time I learned how to let the memories run without them effecting my daily life."

"So they're running through your head even now?"

"Yeah, it's kind of like having a tv on in the background. I'm pretty used to it at this point."

"But you're still learning? I mean, the hunts you've been on with us, they're in there?"

Kerri looked down, fidgeting with a ring she was wearing, "yeah."

"How much more information can you fit in there? I mean, you can't dump the excess."

"I don't really know, my dad didn't either. That's why he was extra careful."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"He kept me quarantined for a while. He didn't want me over loading out there in the big bad real world. Brian was a way out, my only way out."

"You could have called me. I would have come back for you, Kerri."

"Would you?"

"What kind of question is that?" Dean snapped, he'd never desert her.

"If it was back then, before Evelyn died, before Sam went to college, before we found out what the Yellow Eyed Demon was really after— before everything we know now. If I asked you to take me away, to go against an order and just drive off somewhere, would you?"

Dean's heart was telling him to scream yes, to sweep her up into his arms and take her away at that instant, to ease each and every fear that plagued her. But he had changed, too. Would he have gone against his father, dropped everything, turned on his family when he was seventeen? He probably would have tried talking to Tom, or convincing his dad to let Kerri stay with them— neither of which the younger girl needed. He wanted to say he would have taken her away to a place where there were no monsters, no demons, nothing bad, but when he was young turning his back on everything he knew just wasn't an option.

"How long were you quarantined?"

Kerri took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before answering. "My first attack was a few months after you left. I met Brian when I was twenty three, so eight years."

"Eight years stuck in the house!"

"No, eight years stuck in Valley, I was allowed out of my house. I'm not Cinderella."

"Ker, this isn't funny."

"Believe me, Dean, I know that."

"After they died, you quarantined yourself, didn't you." Dean began, a sad reality finally dawning on him— this was the reason Kerri was alone.

"My dad never told me much about it, I basically know what you know. I didn't know how much more I could learn, so I didn't."

"This could kill you?"

"Logically, yeah. But that's not why I wanna stop it. I just— I just want peace."

Dean didn't know what to say, his entire reality crashing. He'd just found Kerri again, just stumbled back into her life— and now he was finding out she might be lost. He pulled her toward him, holding onto her, refusing to let the world steal her away. He felt her return the embrace, something growing in him as they sat in silence. He felt protective of the woman in his arms, felt comfort at Kerri's side, felt whole and complete in the old house. He wanted to hold onto her forever. He wanted to keep the world away from her, to erase the memories trapped in her mind, to wipe away every one of her tears, subdue each and every fear.

He wanted her to be his— hell, she was his. Something about their friendship had triggered the painting of Tir-na-nog, and it was that same bond that had sustained them both to adulthood. And Dean had to save her. He rested his forehead on her shoulder, his cheek resting against the soft skin of her neck. He ran his hand through her long hair as he pulled her closer still, her body against his— she was trembling. They were standing on the brink, balancing on the edge of a knife, and Dean was terrified one of them would fall.

"Where's Sammy?" Dean asked, pulling away from Kerri after what felt like a lifetime. Sam could help him fix this, could research some way to save her.

"I'm not sure, but I think he might be at the cemetery."

"What? Why?"

"He's been asking about Evelyn a lot, something's going on with him. He saw her, Dean."

"Huh?"

"It was the Trickster, when he passed out, but Sam said it looked like Ev. Ever since then he's been kind of out of it about the whole thing— he wouldn't tell me anything about it. And he's been having these weird fainting spells."

"What? Why didn't you tell me?"

"It happened when you were missing, and then everything just—. From what you described it looks like he's been having visions, but he won't talk about it. I'm sorry, Dean."

"It's not your fault." Dean began, rubbing the back of her neck as he pulled his phone from his pocket. "We'll get our little geek back, make him spill the beans and then find a way to help you. All in a day's work." Dean smirked, flipping open his phone.

"And after you right all the wrong in the world, what'll you do with your boundless free time." Kerri chided, her hand resting comfortably on his arm, her smile back to full power.

"I was thinking about a bike ride."

"Oh, I never told you. I upgraded."

"Motorcycle?" Dean asked, putting the phone to his ear.

"ATV."

"Awesome." Dean listened as the phone rang, a deep sense of foreboding growing in him that he couldn't explain. Something was wrong, he could feel it in his bones.

"Hi, this is Sam. I can't get to the phone, so leave a message and I'll get back to you."