Well Hullo there! This is my first Gakuen Alice story :) I did it 'cause I just finished reading the Manga/watching the Anime. I find Natsume adorable and was eager to try my hand at him :3 Let me know what you think! This is supposed to be a oneshot, but If you'd like me to continue off of this, just let me know.

-- By the way, the timesetting in this is a little different. It takes place after the Luna event, but It's sort of attached on the ending of the Anime with Hotaru transferring to a new school. So Uhm, work with that, will you :D

Update! Lawl, it's one thirty in the morn' and I'm bored out of my mind, so I came back and fixed some issues. - So yerr, have an edited version! I fixed some stuff that was bothering me and read your reveiws. I didn't know everyone would like it this much, maybe I will write another! :D

There was something bothersome about the way she was acting…It was unnerving. She rarely spoke, her smiles just as rare; far smaller than they ever were. Her eyes had this strange, far-away look and often had to be called more than once before she responded. It was so very unlike her…And so very like me.

I assumed it had something to do with Hotaru having transferred. After everything the two of them had been through. Even if she said it wouldn't be forever…She packed up her things and left. She had promised Hotaru she wouldn't follow…wouldn't bother her anymore. But that seemed to be eating her alive from the inside out. It was painful to watch.

Everyday, she would come into class and take her usual seat beside me. She would rest her head on her hands, elbows propped up on the desk and stare. She would stare absently out the window to her left. No matter what the class was doing, whether it was actually working or just goofing off, she would stare. Her grades were dropping, but I figured that was the least of anyone's worries.

"Natsume…" I flicked my gaze to the right. Ruka stared at her with a confused and concerned face. His expression showed all the concern needed for both of us. I grunted and turned my head slightly to look at her. Her head was on the desk now, but I didn't believe she was sleeping.

She didn't even flinch at my crimson gaze boring into the back of her head. She always seemed to know when I was staring at her, but if she knew this time she was ignoring me. That was even more unlike her. It was beginning to become annoying.

Ruka and I were not the only ones who noticed. There was not a kid in Class B that did not adore Mikan for her happy nature and spirited passion. It seemed every student in our class had noticed her change. For once, every student in the class was quietly working on something or other. There was no teacher in the room. Narumi was elsewhere.

There were few whispers that echoed around the room. Most were simply exchanging information or asking for help. There were a few though…a few that questioned where their class's spark had gone. They all blamed Mikan.

It was not an angered blame, but a sympathetic one. No one could seem to bring themselves to be happy during her depression. As I carefully watched the class whisper to one another about school and life, I couldn't tear my mind away from the girl who seemed to emanate depression from her very being. It disgusted me to admit to even myself, I was scared for her.

She was no longer the chirpy, loud and dim-witted girl who smiled despite every troublesome event or bad thing that would hit her. It was that smile that captivated me the way it did. She was able to smile all the time, no matter what the circumstance. If you asked her to smile, she would. But it seemed her will to keep smiling had left with Hotaru.

But she was not without support. Her friends had been doing all they could to get her to smile once again, not the tiny smile she graced everyone with at being greeted or spoken to. The wide, childish smile she always had with her was the one they sought. Tsubasa was no exception. Some days, he constantly poked or prodded his kouhai in attempt to make her laugh. Other days he simply sat beside her, occasionally providing a much-needed hug or shoulder to lean on when she seemed a little more depressed than usual.

He shooed away those who poked their noses into her business, nagging her to cheer up or tell them what was wrong. While he and her closest friends were more than alright to do that, others without that bond with Mikan were told to just leave her be. Tsubasa was something of her emotional and physical bodyguard, a make-shift big brother in nearly every way.

Her closest friends, like Tsubasa, never gave up on her. They constantly reassured her when she had doubts, took her to places she adored and helped her with her schoolwork. But they could only do so much for her…

Winter rolled around eventually, Mikan was no better. She smiled more often, but it was that hollow smile she used. While her friends weren't exactly satisfied with this small change, they were at least relieved she was making any change at all.

"I guess…She'll get better over time" Ruka constantly reminded me. His words may have been reassuring, but there was more doubt in his face than I had ever seen before. It was beginning to terrify me. Her depression had affected nearly all of Class B, her friends especially. She didn't seem to notice what she was doing to everyone around her. Not only did it terrify me, but it enraged me just the same.

How could she be so blind to the mental damage she was causing herself and others? Did Hotaru's departure really pain her this much? The Mikan I knew would not let this get to her, so what else was bothering her. I wanted to find out for myself, but that would take careful timing.

"Oi, Ruka-Pyon, Natsume-kun!" Both Ruka and I turned at the sound of our names. We had been walking in silence down one of the snow-covered paths of the Academy. The silence had been broken by the Permy girl.

"Hmm?" Ruka was the first to turn completely and address the girl, though I remained facing forwards. "Sum ire-san?"

"We're going down to Central City for the day, why don't you come?" Ah, something of a hopeful date, I guessed. Did she never learn?

"I-I don't know, It's up to Natsume" I sighed inwardly. This was one of the times where I would've preferred Ruka make the decision. As he looked towards me for support, I kept my gaze firmly ahead of me. "What's the occasion?" He asked instead.

"Well, let's see…" The girl shifted her weight to one foot and lifted her gaze upwards in thought. "We're taking Iincho, Kokoro, Yo-chan," Upon the kid's name, I narrowed my eyes. He wasn't usually one to go with a crowd like that…Unless… "...Kitsuneme, Mikan-Chan and Tsubasa-kun and going down shopping for the day in Central city. You know, just for a day of fun. Tsubasa suggested we invite you two as well." I narrowed my eyes further. Ruka's eyes widened as we both registered the same name at once. He turned to me.

"Fine." I said. Ruka nodded at my brisk response and turned back to the Permy girl, smiling somewhat.

"We'll go."

oooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooO

The bus was noisy and hectic. But I didn't really notice it. I sat near the back, one foot propped up on the seat, hands behind my head as I gazed out the window. Snow covered trees flew by as the bus zoomed down to Central city. I allowed my gaze to wonder over the sea of heads until I spotted her.

She was sitting at the front, Tsubasa faithfully at her side. It surprised me to see she didn't have her hair up in those pigtails as she usually did. She leaned against the bus window and watched the streets as we drove. Tsubasa was joking with some girl across from her, but would occasionally flick a worried gaze to his Kouhai. He caught me staring and smirked somewhat, I narrowed my eyes in response and resumed staring out the window.

"Everyone off!" The bus came to an abrupt halt. I sat up straight. We weren't at the bus stop yet, had someone pulled some sort of trick and angered the driver?

"But this isn't Central town" Tsubasa pointed out, some kids behind him murmured in agreement.

"The snow and Ice up ahead is too much for the bus to handle. It's about a five minute walk, so suck it up and get going!" There was a chorus of groans, but everyone filtered off the bus and into the snow.

oooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooOoooO

"Wow, the preparations for the winter festival are coming along nicely" Iincho raised his voice so the entire group could hear. Central town was preparing for it own fifth annual Winter Festival. Not that I cared, but information like that was useful to know. I walked in the very back, alongside Ruka. The cold didn't bother me, but Ruka was shivering and holding his faithful rabbit close. I scoffed

"Where should we go first?" We all stopped as the Permy girl spoke. She opened her arms and spun in a circle, indicating all the places she could direct the group. Something sparked in Permy's eyes. "I know! Why don't we go get some Howalon?" It was no secret that Permy was trying to cheer Mikan up, but it didn't seem to work.

"Yeah!" Kokoro brightened at the Idea, most likely hoping to aid Permy in her quest to cheer. He ran towards the store, grabbing Mikan as he ran by. Her eyes widened in alarm, and Tsubasa was instantly on the alert.

"Hey, Kokoro, Do-" Tsubasa cut himself off as Kokoro froze in his tracks, looking back to the girl in tow with a shocked expression. She had said something, but she had said it far too quietly for anyone to really distinguish what she'd said. The entire group fell silent, waiting for her voice to return, to repeat what she said. Mikan pulled her hand away from the boy and took a step back, making a polite little bow.

"I'm sorry, everyone." She said quietly. "I'm going to go on a walk." With that, she turned and left. She was hunched over as if she was cold, but the way she'd quickly turned had shown she didn't want to be followed. But as Iincho moved to comfort his friend Tsubasa grabbed his shoulder

"I think we should just leave her be for a while." He said, his voice carrying a commanding undertone. But I'm sure he must've realized by now…I do not follow orders well.

She was trudging through the snow in one of the back paths of the town. Her head was low and her hands rubbed up and down her jacketed arms. It wasn't that cold out today, but I suppose it must've felt rather cold to her. I narrowed my eyes as I watched her slowly walk along the snowy path. She didn't notice me above her, in the trees.

I followed her for a while, until I was able to confirm the route she was taking was in the areas of Central town that were occupied by more vegetation that others, taking her in a big circle along these points. I was tempted to confront her, but I was aware that I had to act carefully if I didn't want to be shut out, as everyone else had.

I waited until she was directly below me and then dropped in front of her. There was little more than a centimeter of space between us when I dropped, causing her to step back in surprise. The Mikan I knew would've screamed and proceeded to yell at me about being a stalker or something. But this Mikan only stepped back to get me out of her 'space bubble' and stood, eyes wide.

"Oh, hello Natsume" She said quietly. I narrowed my eyes, somewhat disgusted with the way she was acting. I stepped forward and brought my face close to hers. She didn't even flinch, but simply stared blankly ahead as If I did nothing.

"Why?" I asked, stuffing my hands in my coat pockets. She only lifted her head and stared at me with those wide, questioning eyes.

"I don't understand…" She said, frowning some more. My eyes narrowed further.

"Don't lie. You know what I'm talking about. What's bothering you?" The girl lowered her head at my more specific questions. She turned around, ready to walk off in that direction.

"Bothering me? I don't under-"

"Stop it, Mikan." I said in all seriousness. She didn't move. "Have you not noticed what you're doing?" She turned her head slightly to look back at me.

"What I'm doing…?"

"Your friends. Your Senpai. They're all being affected by your constant moping. You drag yourself around the academy, you've stopped smiling and you rarely speak to anyone but Tsubasa. Are you so selfish as to have not realized what that's doing to everyone?" Her eyes fell to the snow below. She didn't respond, so I pressed on. "Is this all because of Hotaru? Just because she left? What happened to the speech about not following her around and being strong? Where did you go?" That last comment slipped out unintentionally. But I didn't let it phase me. I simply stared at her through narrowed eyes. She turned slowly.

"…Where did I go?" She echoed.

"Where is the Mikan everyone loves?" I said quietly "The one who smiles? Is this really all about Hotar-"

"No." She cut me off, something she used to do all the time "It's not about Hotaru."

"Then what?"

"It's about you!" She said suddenly, her voice a lot stronger now. There were tears beginning to form in her eyes. It was my turn to take a step back. "I mean, sure, Hotaru left and I was sad about that, but I meant what I said!" She swung her arm out at me, surprising me further. I backed away to avoid being hit. The anger in her eyes was unmistakable, despite the tears there.

"I promised Hotaru I wouldn't follow her, would keep smiling, and I was ready to do that!" She said fiercely, "But then, after she left…" She lowered her head "I admit, I was feeling a little sad…And there was one person I really wanted to talk to…He just never got the hint." She said. My eyes widened, showing my unease, but she continued

"You cut yourself off from me and it got worse…" Her hands clenched into fists. "I was so confused about you and about Ruka, I hurt so much and I wasn't sure what to do. Usually when I get like that, some sort of alarm goes off with you and you find some way to make it better…But...But you didn't..." She sounded almost longing. "Hotaru knew about it... About Ruka, about you and about how I felt…Now...Now she isn't here for me to go to for advice and she's no good at responding to my letters…I couldn't talk to Hotaru…I couldn't talk to you…" She looked at me and suddenly lunged forward, attempting to slap me across the face.

Instantly on alert, I reached up and caught her hand before she could strike me. "I wasn't sure about what to do anymore…I didn't want anyone to worry about me…" I held onto her wrist tightly, incase she tried to hit me again when I let go. "…So I did what you do…I cut myself off from everyone…I didn't know…I didn't know what I was doing was hurting everyone else so much…I didn't know…" The anger vanished from her eyes and her tears came fourth. I let go of her wrist as she dropped to her knees. "I didn't know…I didn't know…" She buried her head in her hands and sobbed.

I stared down at the crying girl, still processing everything she had said. I didn't know…She repeated it over and over out loud, and I was repeating it in my head. I didn't know I'd influenced her that much…I believed it was partially my fault she was changing…Maybe I'd hoped that in cutting myself of from her…I didn't know it would have the completely opposite effect. And now, this sobbing heap of depression was at my feet, repeating those three words over and over again.

I got down on one knee and grabbed the girl's shoulders, bringing her close and drawing her into a hug. I held her tightly, as if she may disappear at my touch…that was the last thing I wanted. She attempted to push me away and tried to beat her fists against my chest. I refused to let go, however, and eventually she gave up and just sobbed.

"Hey, Polka-dotted panties girl…" I said slowly. "Stop crying." She pushed away from me again, and this time I let her. She looked questionably up at my face, eyes wide and watering. "I'm sorry." Once again, she flew into my arms and held onto me as tightly as she could.

We sat on a park bench and talked for the remainder of the day. She did most of the talking, but I was glad for that. Little by little, with each passing hour, she seemed to returning to normal. She would occasionally laugh at her own stupidity, and babble about how she'd felt and the things she'd thought about. I let her talk; I figured this was what she needed. As I watched her talk, I could feel a small smile growing on me.

By the time the sun started setting, she'd drifted off to sleep. That much crying and talking and laughing had completely worn her out. She nestled herself unconsciously into my arm, hugging it tightly and using my shoulder as a pillow. I was glad she'd returned to normal.

I did my best to lift her off the bench without waking her. She was unnerving me again, looking so innocent, asleep in my arms. I sighed, beginning the long trek back to the dormitories. I don't think she would've wanted to take the bus.

"So, this is where you ran off to." I turned my head as Tsubasa moved out of the shadows of a tree. There was a mischievous smile on his face. I narrowed my eyes, simply by nature. "I figured you'd go off to find her. You're not as heartless as everyone thinks you are, are ya?" He winked at me and pulled Mikan from my arms. I was tempted to hold on, to not let her leave my grasp. But I let he older boy pick her up in his arms. As she snuggled into Tsubasa, burying her face in his shoulder, I sighed and buried my hands in my pockets. "Thanks kid." He said

"Whatever." I turned and walked away from the two, leaving the restored Mikan to her Shadow. It was painful to know what small odds there were of anything ever happening between us. There was always Tsubasa there for her…And Ruka…Ruka was so much nicer than I. And I couldn't change myself like that. Even Iincho, the Class Representative, was more of a friend to her than I was.

I walked alone, my head bent as I watched the snow beneath my feet. The town was quiet, as all the students had returned to thier dorms by then, I felt completely and utterly alone. I changed my path with thoughts to take a shortcut back. I nearly jumped out of my skin when Persona's voice rang out through the empty field I was cutting across.

"Natsume…" The dark man began to walk towards me, from where he'd come from I wasn't sure. As usual, his eyes were hidden behind that trademark mask. As he neared, the last fragments of sunlight illuminated his face, making his smug grin apparent. I knew that expression; it demanded obedience. It demanded submission. I was in no state of mind to resist him then. I simply turned towards him, returning his look with an empty stare.

"You have work to do…"