In a tree in Nebraska, young Skippy, a squirrel, waited for his mother. He always got a little anxious whenever his mother went out. She was the only family he had. All the rest had been run over by cars.
"I'm a lot like you in some ways, Skippy," she had told him. "I never knew my father. Like you, a car killed my father before I was born. My mother was very old, and she said that she had had so many children that she lost count. I was her last. She died shortly after I was legally old enough to leave her."
"If she had so many kids, then where are they?" Skippy had asked.
"Well," his mother had said, sighing a little, "Mom said that more than half of them were run over by cars while they were still living with her. This is what happened to the five that came before me. And she said that many more were killed a little after they left her. They're probably all dead. It's kind of a family tradition to be killed by a car, in both your mother's and father's side of the family."
Skippy knew that. His father had been his parents' first and only child. They had been killed together shortly after his father left them. And likewise, he had been killed shortly before Skippy had been born.
Thus Skippy had no living relatives besides his mother. And as he sat in the hollowed out hole in his tree, waiting for his mother, he thought to himself, ~What's taking her so long? Did she get hit by a car?~
Being hit by a car seemed to Skippy to be the only purpose in his life. Somedays he felt like just jumping out in the street and just getting it over with. Why postpone the inevitable? Sure, he was only six years old, but to him, he had a lot to live; er, die; up to.
He was cheered immensely when he heard his mother calling, "I'm home, Skippy!" Skippy scampered to the entrance and greeted her.
His mother's name was Topaz, since her fur was a shinning, goldish color. The records indicated that she was the first squirrel to be called Topaz. Since squirrels don't use last names, careful records are kept of each and every squirrel's name. When a squirrel had a baby, she had to go to the court tree and select a name that no presently living squirrel had. There had only been two other squirrels named Skippy since 1630, when squirrels started keeping records.
"I'm glad you're back," said Skippy, hugging his mother.
"I found some nuts for you," she said. She was a very young and pretty squirrel. Skippy thought that she was the prettiest squirrel who had ever lived, even though he hadn't seen very many squirrels in his young lifetime.
Topaz handed Skippy some of the nuts. Skippy broke one open and said, "Is it true that you're my only living relative?"
Topaz shrugged. "I suppose so."
"Why don't we go to the court tree and find out for sure?"
Topaz smiled at her son. "You're lonesome, aren't you?"
"Yeah, a little, I guess so," said Skippy.
"I think we should do it," said Topaz. "Even if none of my siblings are alive, I would at least like to know who they were."
Topaz and Skippy set out on their adventure. They scampered across trees when they could, but after awhile they were forced to go down on the ground.
Then they came to the road.
"Oh no," whimpered Skippy. He was terribly afraid of roads and cars.
"You go ahead of me, Skippy. The road's clear now. I'll be right behind you," said his mother.
Skippy obeyed and scampered on the road.
At that point a car turned around the corner.
Fearing for his life, Skippy made a mad dash the rest of the way across the street. The car whizzed by.
Skippy turned around.
His mother's body lay crumpled in the street.
"No! Mom!" screamed Skippy. "Please get up!"
She didn't.
The squirrels from the court tree dashed out when they heard Skippy screaming. "Help!" cried Skippy. "My mom just got hit by a car!"
The squirrels looked at Skippy for a while. Then finally one of the squirrels asked, "What was her name?"
"Topaz."
"Topaz number what?"
"One. She was the first squirrel to be named Topaz."
"Come with me," they said, and led Skippy into the court tree.
As soon as he got in, he sat down on a bench and sobbed. "It's all my fault!" he cried. "I was the one who wanted to see if I had any living relatives! And now she's gone!"
"You're going to find out very soon if you have living relatives or not," said one of the squirrels. "Because if you do, that's going to be your new guardian."
"But what if I don't?"
"You'll be put up for adoption," said the squirrel. He took out a file. "Topaz #1. Parents are Redwood #154 and Lilac #390." He pulled out another file. "Holy smokes!"
"What?" asked Skippy.
"Your grandparents had 28 kids!" he cried. "Slappy #43, Acorn #1001, Samuel #3364, Valerie #79, Pine #250, Daffodil #467, Menkus #24, Rose #3784, Rocky #354, Ulysses #5, Sparkles #12, Walnut #4029, Lucky #564, David #253, Katherine #680, Fortune #65, Dandelion #26, Julie #647, Yopomis #2, Lenny #47, Wilburt #364, Quincy #22, Lenore #45, Autumn #789, Violet #56, Bob #17589, Toby #4657, and Topaz #1."
"Are any of them still alive?" asked Skippy.
"Hmm, that's odd," he murmured. "The only one still alive is the first born, Slappy #43."
"Slappy #43," commented another squirrel. "Isn't she that Slappy the Slap Happy Squirrel from those old cartoons?"
"Oh yeah!" said the first squirrel. "Well then, I'm not all that surprised that she's still around. That Slappy has a strong will to live."
"So she hasn't gotten hit by a car yet?" asked Skippy.
The first squirrel laughed. "Knowing Slappy, she'd blow the car up before it even had a chance to nick her. I'll give her a call and see if she wants to take you in."
Skippy sighed and pulled his legs towards him. He had no idea what this aunt of his would be like, but he could take a pretty good guess if she blew things up. He just wished that his mom hadn't of gotten hit by that car.
In Burbank, California, Slappy wasn't expecting a call saying that her last sibling had just died and left behind a little six-year-old boy. To her, this would just be a normal day-going out and harassing anyone who messed with her. She was about to leave when her phone rang.
She gave a low sigh and picked it up. "Whaddiya want?" she asked.
"Is this Slappy #43?" asked the squirrel on the other end.
"Yeah," said Slappy. "What is it?"
"Well… how updated are you on the status of your family?"
"Quite honestly, I don't have a clue as to who's alive and who's dead."
"Well, your parents and their 27 other kids-"
"Holy shit!" cried Slappy, almost dropping the phone. "I knew that they liked kids, but that's a little overkill!"
"Well, they're all dead. The last one, the youngest, just died today."
"So I'm the only one left?"
"Not quite." The squirrel paused. "Topaz-the one that just was killed today-had a six-year-old son."
Slappy didn't say anything.
"You're his only living relative," he continued.
Slappy gave a long sigh. "I guess that means that you want me to take him in, right?"
"Right. Will you do it, Slappy? He is, after all, your nephew. And if you don't take him in, then we'll have to put him up for adoption."
Slappy sighed again. "Fine, I'll take him in."
"Thanks. We'll send him over soon."
"I'll be expecting you."
"Thanks again, Slappy. Bye."
"Bye."
Back in Nebraska, the squirrel turned to face Skippy. "She's going to take you in. Now remember, she's got a quick temper. Make sure you mind what she says."
"Okay," said Skippy glumly, not really looking at him. ~Why did my life have to change so quickly?~ he thought sadly.
"I'm a lot like you in some ways, Skippy," she had told him. "I never knew my father. Like you, a car killed my father before I was born. My mother was very old, and she said that she had had so many children that she lost count. I was her last. She died shortly after I was legally old enough to leave her."
"If she had so many kids, then where are they?" Skippy had asked.
"Well," his mother had said, sighing a little, "Mom said that more than half of them were run over by cars while they were still living with her. This is what happened to the five that came before me. And she said that many more were killed a little after they left her. They're probably all dead. It's kind of a family tradition to be killed by a car, in both your mother's and father's side of the family."
Skippy knew that. His father had been his parents' first and only child. They had been killed together shortly after his father left them. And likewise, he had been killed shortly before Skippy had been born.
Thus Skippy had no living relatives besides his mother. And as he sat in the hollowed out hole in his tree, waiting for his mother, he thought to himself, ~What's taking her so long? Did she get hit by a car?~
Being hit by a car seemed to Skippy to be the only purpose in his life. Somedays he felt like just jumping out in the street and just getting it over with. Why postpone the inevitable? Sure, he was only six years old, but to him, he had a lot to live; er, die; up to.
He was cheered immensely when he heard his mother calling, "I'm home, Skippy!" Skippy scampered to the entrance and greeted her.
His mother's name was Topaz, since her fur was a shinning, goldish color. The records indicated that she was the first squirrel to be called Topaz. Since squirrels don't use last names, careful records are kept of each and every squirrel's name. When a squirrel had a baby, she had to go to the court tree and select a name that no presently living squirrel had. There had only been two other squirrels named Skippy since 1630, when squirrels started keeping records.
"I'm glad you're back," said Skippy, hugging his mother.
"I found some nuts for you," she said. She was a very young and pretty squirrel. Skippy thought that she was the prettiest squirrel who had ever lived, even though he hadn't seen very many squirrels in his young lifetime.
Topaz handed Skippy some of the nuts. Skippy broke one open and said, "Is it true that you're my only living relative?"
Topaz shrugged. "I suppose so."
"Why don't we go to the court tree and find out for sure?"
Topaz smiled at her son. "You're lonesome, aren't you?"
"Yeah, a little, I guess so," said Skippy.
"I think we should do it," said Topaz. "Even if none of my siblings are alive, I would at least like to know who they were."
Topaz and Skippy set out on their adventure. They scampered across trees when they could, but after awhile they were forced to go down on the ground.
Then they came to the road.
"Oh no," whimpered Skippy. He was terribly afraid of roads and cars.
"You go ahead of me, Skippy. The road's clear now. I'll be right behind you," said his mother.
Skippy obeyed and scampered on the road.
At that point a car turned around the corner.
Fearing for his life, Skippy made a mad dash the rest of the way across the street. The car whizzed by.
Skippy turned around.
His mother's body lay crumpled in the street.
"No! Mom!" screamed Skippy. "Please get up!"
She didn't.
The squirrels from the court tree dashed out when they heard Skippy screaming. "Help!" cried Skippy. "My mom just got hit by a car!"
The squirrels looked at Skippy for a while. Then finally one of the squirrels asked, "What was her name?"
"Topaz."
"Topaz number what?"
"One. She was the first squirrel to be named Topaz."
"Come with me," they said, and led Skippy into the court tree.
As soon as he got in, he sat down on a bench and sobbed. "It's all my fault!" he cried. "I was the one who wanted to see if I had any living relatives! And now she's gone!"
"You're going to find out very soon if you have living relatives or not," said one of the squirrels. "Because if you do, that's going to be your new guardian."
"But what if I don't?"
"You'll be put up for adoption," said the squirrel. He took out a file. "Topaz #1. Parents are Redwood #154 and Lilac #390." He pulled out another file. "Holy smokes!"
"What?" asked Skippy.
"Your grandparents had 28 kids!" he cried. "Slappy #43, Acorn #1001, Samuel #3364, Valerie #79, Pine #250, Daffodil #467, Menkus #24, Rose #3784, Rocky #354, Ulysses #5, Sparkles #12, Walnut #4029, Lucky #564, David #253, Katherine #680, Fortune #65, Dandelion #26, Julie #647, Yopomis #2, Lenny #47, Wilburt #364, Quincy #22, Lenore #45, Autumn #789, Violet #56, Bob #17589, Toby #4657, and Topaz #1."
"Are any of them still alive?" asked Skippy.
"Hmm, that's odd," he murmured. "The only one still alive is the first born, Slappy #43."
"Slappy #43," commented another squirrel. "Isn't she that Slappy the Slap Happy Squirrel from those old cartoons?"
"Oh yeah!" said the first squirrel. "Well then, I'm not all that surprised that she's still around. That Slappy has a strong will to live."
"So she hasn't gotten hit by a car yet?" asked Skippy.
The first squirrel laughed. "Knowing Slappy, she'd blow the car up before it even had a chance to nick her. I'll give her a call and see if she wants to take you in."
Skippy sighed and pulled his legs towards him. He had no idea what this aunt of his would be like, but he could take a pretty good guess if she blew things up. He just wished that his mom hadn't of gotten hit by that car.
In Burbank, California, Slappy wasn't expecting a call saying that her last sibling had just died and left behind a little six-year-old boy. To her, this would just be a normal day-going out and harassing anyone who messed with her. She was about to leave when her phone rang.
She gave a low sigh and picked it up. "Whaddiya want?" she asked.
"Is this Slappy #43?" asked the squirrel on the other end.
"Yeah," said Slappy. "What is it?"
"Well… how updated are you on the status of your family?"
"Quite honestly, I don't have a clue as to who's alive and who's dead."
"Well, your parents and their 27 other kids-"
"Holy shit!" cried Slappy, almost dropping the phone. "I knew that they liked kids, but that's a little overkill!"
"Well, they're all dead. The last one, the youngest, just died today."
"So I'm the only one left?"
"Not quite." The squirrel paused. "Topaz-the one that just was killed today-had a six-year-old son."
Slappy didn't say anything.
"You're his only living relative," he continued.
Slappy gave a long sigh. "I guess that means that you want me to take him in, right?"
"Right. Will you do it, Slappy? He is, after all, your nephew. And if you don't take him in, then we'll have to put him up for adoption."
Slappy sighed again. "Fine, I'll take him in."
"Thanks. We'll send him over soon."
"I'll be expecting you."
"Thanks again, Slappy. Bye."
"Bye."
Back in Nebraska, the squirrel turned to face Skippy. "She's going to take you in. Now remember, she's got a quick temper. Make sure you mind what she says."
"Okay," said Skippy glumly, not really looking at him. ~Why did my life have to change so quickly?~ he thought sadly.