Author's note: Another new fic (sighs) but I won't start anymore till I finish the ones I am already working on and I still update regularly, right? Anyway as usual thanks to Morphox the Ultimate Genius! And please review everyone!
History of magic
James: Moony, how long is it till the next full moon?
James: MOONY!
Sirius: What are you doing?
James: trying to get Moony to talk to me but he WON'T!
Sirius: Chill! I was only asking.
James: Help me get Moony's attention.
Sirius: Right, the challenge is on… To tear Moony away from Binns enchanting lesson on giant wars.
--
James: yeah I said help me get his attention not shove his chair over and make him land on his back.
Sirius: It got his attention didn't it?
Remus: Thanks a lot Sirius.
Sirius: No problem!
Remus: I was being sarcastic.
Sirius: I knew that!
James: Hello? Can we get back to my question yet?
Remus: No, I am trying to listen.
Sirius: To Binns? Are you suicidal?
Remus: How is suicide related to Binns.
James: And your supposed to be the smart one
Sirius: If you listen to him you die of boredom! Like looking into a basilisk's eyes.
Peter: Hey
James: Go away.
Peter: Well how very friendly of you.
Remus: Ignore him Wormtail.
James: No don't! GO AWAY WORMY!
Sirius: I am with James.
Peter: Why do you both want me to go away?
James: Merlin, don't you dare start crying all over us!
Peter: I'm not!
James: Good! We want you to go away for the simple reason that when you join the conversations you always seem to manage to get the paper confiscated so some nosy teacher can read our conversation!
Peter: I don't!
Sirius: Yes you do!
James: Can we please answer my question now?
Remus: What was it?
James: Oh well this shows exactly how much notice you are paying to me! You just ignore your most faithful friend in order to listen to the wailing of old Wormy.
Sirius: hey! I am the most faithful.
Peter: I don't wail!
James: You just cast me aside like a dirty old sock.
Sirius: What have you done to my best friend you cruel, cold-hearted ignorer?
Remus: I'm not ignoring you!
James: You were before! I kept shoving it under your nose and you kept brushing it away!
Remus: I was listening to Binns, But I'm listening to you now!
James: Well, now is not good enough. I won't tell you now!
Sirius: (sings sweetly) It's now or neveeeeeeeeeeeer.
James: Even on paper your singing can't be classed as sweet.
Remus: Come on Prongs, you can tell me now.
James: I say never.
Sirius: What is Peter doing?
Remus: I think he is trying to stick that pink thing on his nose.
Sirius: I can see that! I meant what is that pink thing!?
James: Fine, just forget about me again.
Remus: You said you wouldn't tell me!
James: A guy can change his mind can't he?
Sirius: I think it's a marshmallow…
James: What's a marshmallow?
Remus: Muggle sweet
James: I can understand Moony knowing that but you Padfoot?
Sirius: I take offence at that!
James: But seriously how did you know?
Sirius: Dumbledore gave me one.
James: That makes sense.
Remus: Who's going off the point now?
James: Fine! My question (five decades ago) was when is the next full moon?
Remus: I don't even want to think about it so don't you dare start planning anything.
James: But when is it?
Remus: Five days.
James: Woop!
Remus: That is not something to be happy about!
James: Sure it is, we can play pranks in disguise again, what could be better?
Remus: Anything would be better.
James: (faints)
Remus: Why has Sirius suddenly left the conversation?
James: He got offended remember so he's sulking now.
Remus: Oh yeah.
James: Is he actually listening?
Remus: Looks like it, so don't disturb him!
Remus: JAMES! I said don't disturb him!
James: I didn't.
Remus: Pouring water down his back counts as disturbing him!
James: He squealed just like a girl!
Sirius: I DID NOT!
James: did to
Sirius did not
James: did to
Sirius: did not
James: did
Sirius: didn't
James: did
Remus: you are driving me crazy!
James: fine, we will talk about something else…
Sirius: Yeah like Moony's little crush!
Remus: I do not have a little crush!
James: (cough) sure you don't. (cough)
Sirius: Yeah, we just imagine the way you blush beetroot when a certain someone says hi.
James: Yeah and the dropping of everything you are holding is a figment of our imagination too.
Sirius: and that time you walked into a gargoyle? I expect that was a total coincidence.
James: (sniggers)
Remus: Fine! Maybe I like her a little bit.
Sirius: In other words he is in LURVE
Remus: Don't be ridiculous.
Sirius: Moi?
Remus: You both go on dates a lot, any advice?
James: I'm flattered.
Sirius: Planning a date then?
Remus: Maybe
James: Which means yes.
Sirius: Well, make sure you don't drop anything when you talk to her.
James: Or walk into anything.
Sirius: Just be confident.
James: Just be yourself and you will be fine.
Sirius: Yeah, just relax.
Remus: Relax? Impossible!
Sirius: Just think nice thoughts and treat her real nice. Though you treat everyone nice so I expect you will be fine.
James: and take life insurance out… I suggest Wizziwelfare.
Remus: Be serious!
Sirius: Hey, I'm Sirius! You can't tell him to be me.
Remus: (puts gun to head)
James: Huh? What's a gun?
Sirius: It's a muggle contraption, designed to kill people and things. A bit like a wand which only does avada kedavra.
James: ?? Who are you and what have you done to Sirius Black??
Remus: How did you know about guns?
Sirius: Muggle studies.
James: (chokes) You… actually… listen… in… a…subject?
Sirius: In muggle studies yeah.
James: Why??
Sirius: Because it pisses my parents off when I know a lot about Muggles and so I can annoy them with it.
James: That's okay then… phew for a minute I thought I was going to have to disown you.
Remus: Technically you can't disown him because you don't own him!
Sirius: Sure he does, we are brothers.
James: and you are as well Moony.
Remus: cool.
Sirius: We really need to do something about Peter.
Remus: let him join the conversation again then he can't embarrass us.
James: he can get us caught though!
Remus: well the lesson ends in a few minutes anyway so he won't have much chance.
Sirius: (sighs) fine.
Peter: hey!
James: What was that pink thing?
Peter: I don't know, I found it on the floor.
James: GROSS!
Sirius: I would disown you Wormy but I don't own you.
James: Ditto
Peter: Own me?
Sirius: Yeah, I own Prongs and Moony.
James: and I own Padfoot and Moony
Remus: So unfortunately I own Prongs and Padfoot.
Remus: Ouch that hurt!
Peter: How come you are owned by each other?
James: We are brothers.
Peter: How come I'm not a brother!?
Sirius: We can't afford to own you!
James: You would eat everything!
Peter: Huh.
Remus: the bell is going to go, we better pack away.
Sirius: Merlin, your eager Prongs! You have packed away already!
Remus: yeah, why are you in such a rush? I thought you liked to be late for everything?
James: Very Funny Moony. Actually, I want to get to Transfiguration early so that I can sit behind Lily Flower.
Sirius: young love!
Remus: (yawns)
Peter: She is sitting just over there!
James: yeah but I haven't got a vibe this lesson. I always have a vibe in transfiguration.
Sirius: That's just indigestion.
--
Peter: Where are they running to?
Remus: Everywhere till Prongs catches Padfoot I bet.
Peter: Do they know the bell hasn't gone yet?
Remus: I don't think they care.
Peter: Well, Binns hasn't noticed.
Remus: Lily has though.
Peter: oh dear. She will have a go at Prongs about that.
Peter: Moony?
Peter: ??
Peter: Come in Moony!
Remus: huh? Sorry! No need to hit me in the face with the paper!
Peter: Sorry that was an accident. Who was that girl anyway?
Remus: Lets pack away yeah.
Peter: Oh! Tell me.
Remus: That was the bell.
Peter: Tell m-
Remus: I am putting it in my bag now! Come on or we will be late!
Peter: Wait!
Remus: Oh hurry up. We look stupid.
Peter: Can we write more next lesson.
Remus: yeah I suppose. Come on we are stopping now! We need to go and stop Prongs murdering padfoot and still not be late!
Peter: (sighs) Fine.
TBC…