The finale made me sad, but one day this idea popped into my head and made me laugh and think "I've been listening to Hodgins a little too much." So here it is. Hopefully it will make you laugh.

"I think someone's been trying to get rid of Zach." Hodgins swept into Angela's office like a kid who'd just been introduced to Lucky Charms. He roamed around, picking things up, turning them over in his hands, putting them down in different places.

"What? Jack, he's in the mental hospital. He did it. No one's trying to get rid of him. We're all going to miss him, but he's got to pay for what he's done."

"No, listen. The end of last year, right? He goes to Iraq. This year? It turns out that he's the serial killer we've been looking for all season."

"All season?"

"Come on, I mean, Booth and Brennan? Beginning of season two – in comes Cam, Goodman disappears. Cam gets between Brennan and Booth. And Sully! And the end of season one, Brennan's mother and her father calls and then nothing for months!"

"Seasons? Jack, slow down. You're not making any sense."

"No, everything's finally making sense, don't you see? Christmas, the first season. I mean, who gets locked inside because of biological contamination?"

"You've been under a lot of stress lately. We all have."

"Angela, we're living in a tv show."

"What?" she laughed.

"No, just think about it for a second. The way our cases go. And – and the characters! A paranoid conspiracy theorist, a Vulcan, a crazy-inappropriate artist, a stodgy blue-collar cop, Brennan, Cam."

"Things did get kinda slow during the writer's strike."

"Yeah. And your marriage thing."

"You don't think they'll break us up, do you?"

"They better not!"

"They wouldn't, would they? I mean, we're not Grey's Anatomy."

"No, they won't. The fans can't be happy about losing Zach. They couldn't break us up too."

"You think people like us?"

"You think they don't?"

"They must. That's kinda hot." She grinned.

"We can't let Brennan and Booth get together." Hodgins realized.

"Why not?"

"Series always end when the two main characters get together."

"Not always."

"Are you willing to bet your life in perpetual re-runs?"

"But what kind of friend would I be if I don't want my best friend to be happy?"

"But see, they wouldn't get to just exist as a couple happily. The writers would always be poking at them, even if the show kept going. There would be exes from the past stirring up old flames and previously unknown children and unwanted pregnancies and huge fights and break-ups and people dying but not really."

"One Life to Live?"

"Alias. I mean, who gets shot in the chest like 100 times and lives?" Hodgins started to get worked up about it.

"Focus, Jack. Previously unknown children? Booth? He proposed to Rebecca, and he's a pretty monogamous guy. I just don't see mystery children popping up."

"Luke's got a kid."

"Gilmore Girls? You're so whipped."

"I am not. It's funny. I watch it for the sarcasm. Anyway, maybe the children are Brennan's."

"And what, she was brainwashed to forget the pregnancy and labour?"

"Maybe nieces and nephews."

"So, what, they'll kill off Russ?" she said sceptically.

"Shh!" he covered her mouth in panic. "Don't give them ideas." He whispered it.

"Jack, who do you think is writing this?"

"They couldn't put this on tv."

"Fanfiction."

"Yeah. That's true. Hey! I bet there's tons of fanfiction about Booth and Brennan getting together. There are probably a billion alternate versions of episodes where they declare their love for each other."

"I wonder who says it first?"

"Booth. Definitely."

"I don't know. I think it's one of those he comes ninety and she comes ten things."

"Yeah? Maybe."

"Oh, but Jack! There's probably lots of angsty stories. Booth dies or Brennan dies or – you die."

"But I'm not dead, am I?"

"No, but Zach is."

"What?"

"Well, for all intents and purposes. You know, I'm Brennan's best friend. And Booth and Brennan are the show. But you – half of your stuff was your geeky interactions with Zach."

"You don't think they'd write me out?"

"They'd better not! They made me able to spit with deadly accuracy!"

"Hey! You writers! You leave us alone!"

"Yeah! And that goes for Brennan and Booth and all you fanfiction writers too!"

"Yeah! And you touch Parker – I mean even make him sick or kidnapped or something – and we'll tell Booth and Brennan and they'll hunt you down!"

"And bring Dr. Goodman back!"

"What's going on in here?" Cam stuck her head in, a quizzical expression on her face.

"Nothing." They both answered quickly.

"Right. Back to work then, okay?"

"She can go." Hodgins whispered to the ceiling.

"But don't make her die. Just get another job somewhere." Angela added. "Please." Hodgins went back to his work station, because even if he didn't think Cam could fire him, she could still make his life pretty uncomfortable. Angela checked that there was no one hovering outside her door and then looked back up at the ceiling. "And can I have a pony?"