Causality- a Persephone fic.

I don't own the matrix.

A/N: This is my first fic (to be posted) so please be nice. With a very special thanks to the Red Queen for inspiration etc. This fic fits in with ideas and thoughts expressed in one of her's, 'Caged'. Read it, it's good. look out for the up and comming 'Unplugged', an AU where the Queen and I end up unplugged from the matrix to help Neo and Trinity and end the war. thanks to E my editor. Not sure she did much here but in others she's been great! Read and review! I'm always open to suggestion!

He used to love me.

He'd hold me tight, rock me in his arms, and kiss me passionately. But that side of him is gone now. His heart is gone now. And I'm left to love a shell. I could never stop loving him; it's too late for that. But it doesn't mean I can't hate him too.

Our love was beautiful, powerful, never ending, or so it seemed. But such things are not meant to last. I watch him as he drools over the woman in the pink dress. He disgusts me.

This evening when he told me to get ready for dinner, I hoped he'd remembered: it was my birthday today, my four hundredth birthday. He didn't remember. I didn't think he would. We sit here, across from Neo, from Morpheus, from Trinity. Trinity; Trin. I envy you Trin. I feel the love that flows like electricity between you and him. It used to be like that for us. A long time ago I knew how love felt, but not anymore.

"Look there, at that woman. My God, just look at her." I didn't look at her; I couldn't look away from his face. His eyes were hard filled with lust. He wanted her, and he always got what he wanted. I looked down at my lap in disgust. "Affecting everyone around her, so obvious, so bourgeois, so boring. But wait... Watch - you see, I have sent her dessert, a very special dessert. I wrote it myself. It starts so simply, each line of the program creating a new effect, just like poetry. First, a rush... heat... her heart flutters. You can see it, Neo, yes?" I afford myself a look at Neo's face, what I see there I feel reflected in my own eyes: barely concealed disgust. " …the wine? No. What is it then, what is the reason? And soon it does not matter, soon the why and the reason are gone, and all that matters is the feeling itself. This is the nature of the universe. We struggle against it, we fight to deny it, but it is of course pretence, it is a lie. Beneath our poised appearance, the truth is we are completely out of control. Causality. There is no escape from it, we are forever slaves to it."

And I am a slave to you. I'm not his love, his light, and his life as I once was, as he was once mine; I am a plaything, something that he can dangle off of his arm to make him look good. I am startled out of my brooding as beside me he stands.

"Where are you going?" I ask innocently. This is my game now.

"Please, ma chérie, I've told you, we are all victims of causality. I drink too much wine, I must take a piss. Cause and effect. Au revoir." As he leaves, his hand goes to brush along Trinity's shoulder, it's all I can do to not throw up then as I watch him go off to screw his little whore in the ladies room and now he makes a move on Trinity right here in front of me. "Touch me, and that hand will never touch anything again." She whispers infuriated. He mutters a laugh as he exclaims under his breath "petit diable courageux" feisty little devil. I will have my revenge, my love I whisper after him.

I hurry to cut off the next players in my game as they head towards the lift "If you want the Key maker, follow me." I half whisper at them. I lead them through the restaurant towards the men's room. "Get out!" I order the man at the urinal as I cross to the mirrors above the sinks. "I'm so sick of his bullshit. On and on, pompous prick." I sigh as I reapply a nude lipstick. "A long time ago, when we first came here, it was so different. He was so different. He was like you." I turn to Neo, his face is guarded, "I'll give you what you want. But you have to give me something."

Neo speaks up, his voice as guarded as his face "What?"

"A kiss." I reply simply.

Trinity glares at me. Her usually blank face is hard with hate and disgust. "Excuse me?"

Don't worry Trinity. He'll never be mine, but I want to remember what love feels like, what it tastes like… "I want you to kiss me as if you were kissing her."

"Why?" he asks.

"You love her. She loves you. It's all over you both. A long time ago, I knew what that felt like. I want to remember it. I want to sample it. That's all, just a sample." Please…

"Why don't you sample this instead?" Trinity holds up her gun. What a beautiful piece of code, I think, elegant almost.

"Trinity." Morpheus warns her.

"Such emotion over something so small. It's just a kiss." Words, only words. This kiss means the difference between life and death, a reason to keep fighting, fighting for love, for him. I need to remember the feeling to remember why I'm still here, why I'm still fighting. This kiss… it's everything.

"Why should we trust you?" Neo bites back.

"If I don't deliver you to the Key Maker, she can kill me." In that moment I almost wished that she would kill me. I wondered what it would feel like; coded bullets ripping through perfectly coded flesh, icy… cold?

"All right."

"But you have to make me believe I am her." I insist.

"All right." He bends to touch his lips to mine.

"Terrible. Forget it."

"Wait. Okay." The mask is gone, he pulls away his glasses and I am lost in the richness of his compelling eyes. This kiss…ahhhh. Now I remember.

"Ahhhh, yes. That's it." I breathe. "I envy you." I say to Trinity, I mean every word. "But such a thing is not meant to last." She looks at me with murder in her eyes. If looks could kill… "Come with me." I lead them off, back through the restaurant, the kitchens, and through the back door into our home.

"It's all right, boys, they're with me." I assure the two startled programs as they rise to greet me. "These fellas work for my husband, they do his dirty work. They're very good, very loyal. Aren't you, boys?"

"Yes, Mistress." They reply. I feel a sick sense of pleasure as I discreetly click off the safety lock on my own gun.

"They come from a much older version of the Matrix, but like so many back then, they caused more problems than they solved. My husband saved them because they're notoriously difficult to terminate. How many people keep silver bullets in their gun?" I ask as I aim a perfect shot at Cain. To Abel I offer a choice "You can either run to the restaurant and tell my husband what I have done, or you can stay there and die. He's in the ladies' room..." I turn back to my guests "Hurry." Ah yes, this game of mine will play out well.

Neo retrieves the Key Maker and we return to the foyer of the house just as my husband storms in. "Oh God, my God, Persephone how could you do this, you betrayed me..." he lapses into French, and I give up listening, not caring enough to make such an effort anymore.

"Cause and effect, my love." I rationalize as he finishes his rant and glares at me.

"Cause? There is no cause for this, what cause?"

"What cause?" I ask, mildly offended that he thinks me so dumb. "How about the lipstick you're still wearing?"

"Lipstick? Lipstick? What craziness you are talking about woman, there is no lipstick." He spits at me wiping his face dramatically.

"She wasn't kissing your face, my love." My tone is icy.

"Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai, woman, this is nothing, c'est rien, c'est rien du tout. It's a game, it is only a game."

"So is this. Have fun." I brush past him and he stands, shocked.

Outside, in the kitchen I lean against the door exhausted, one tear runs silently down my cheek. I wish he'd love me again. Hold me in his arms, kiss me passionately. Our love was beautiful once, powerful, and never ending. Twice as bright but only half as long, and such things, such... beautiful things, they are not meant to last.