Memory Lane no. Five

AN: before we commence with lovely number five, I want you all to stop for a second and realise that you are some lucky bitches. Really. This story is pretty long, and one of the stories I decided to update before the exams. Yeah, that's how I roll. LET ME FEEL THE LOVE. No shit though, I'm sick of apologising for all the age-errors, and I've decided to just say fuck you to that. Content-wise, this story is too fucking brilliant, to me, to stumble over those darn ages. So yeah...

WARNING: there is a fight. Because let's face it, this is James, he was bound to fuck up sooner or later.

Harry arrived in the middle of a hallway—he recognised it vaguely, as they were close to the library—where James was trying to give his look that little bit extra charm. Since day one, he had never doubted his looks—girls swooned when he passed by, really, he knew he was stunning—but as he watched his reflection in one of the windows, he suddenly felt as if somehow, he fell short. Lucius was by far the most beautiful man he had ever seen, and the idea that he would look not-good enough for him, caused James' gut to churn. He wanted to look his absolute best.

The hallway was pretty crowded, and James had to try straightening his hair without blocking the way for passing students, with his only decent mirror being the window. He fixed his shirt, undoing his tie to try and look a bit more casual as well as sexy and mysterious.

James had a plan, and it would not fail. He would look his best and seduce the blonde into kissing him because it had been far too long since he had last seen him. Two days without seeing Lucius properly, and he was ready to put his pants on fire and leave for the insane asylum. It was madness.

He was fairly certain that Lucius was doing his homework, by himself, in the library—he had seen Severus and Regulus on their way to the great hall—and his master-plan of seduction was to accidentally walk by and start a conversation that way. He gave a last tug at his hair, knowing that fussing about it any longer would only cause it to tangle further.

Harry wasn't exactly sure why his dad was trying so hard to look good, but he had a hunch so when James moved towards the library, he followed. James was greeted by a couple of girls who were just leaving, giggling as he passed them. The appreciative glances he was given caused a boost of confidence, Harry noticed how his shoulders squared, and his grin became even more mischievous, and he began his search for the blonde with a positive attitude, sure his plan would work.

He could navigate his way easily through the endless rows with book—having a friend like Remus did pay off—halting when he suddenly heard Lucius' voice.

Anxiously, he turned a corner, and he arrived in a small study-area, where a single table stood, surrounded by bookracks. Lucius was seated at the table, quill in the ink pot with some books stacked next to him – he was indeed doing homework, though not quite by himself as James had thought.

A rather big-busted blonde was seated on the table next to his papers – she wasn't even wearing the complete Hogwarts uniform, her white t-shirt replaced by a dark green tight tank top – the white lace of her bra showing. Her legs were crossed but she had hitched up her skirt to show off her thighs, flirtatiously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Lucius chuckled at something she said, shaking his head as he leaned back in his chair. She pouted – James glared, hiding behind a rack of books.

"Are you sure you don't want to?" she touched his shoulder, locking their eyes, "It would be nice."

"I'm sure," Lucius nodded, "I still have homework to finish."

"Fine," she gave a sigh, hopping off the table – she gave him a last look, but Lucius was already focusing on his parchment again, "but it won't be any fun without you!"

He gave a little grunt and the girl nearly walked into James, as she left the study-area. She sneered at him but he ignored her, leaning against one of the racks to look at Lucius instead.

"James," Lucius smiled when he noticed the raven standing there, "what are you doing here?"

"I..." he felt rage bubbling up his throat at the idea of the girl touching Lucius like that, but he tried to camouflage his anger, "I was looking for a book – Remus told me to go left at the third bookrack and then turn another left, but I guess I turned right instead."

"Would you like me to help you find it?" Lucius asked, making amends to get up.

"No thanks," James tried smiling, turning around, "I'm leaving."

He had barely gotten to the main part of the library – ignoring a pack of girls winking at him – when someone grabbed his arm.

"Sod off!" he threw a glare over his shoulder, paying no attention to his surroundings – he couldn't stop thinking of Lucius and the girl and nakedness.

"James?" he paused abruptly when he recognised the voice, "What's wrong?"

He turned around – Lucius was frowning, obviously confused by James' behaviour. James glared, reverting his eyes, to stare at the ground.

"You must be real busy if you let such a looker walk," he crossed his arms childishly, glaring sideways at the blonde girl as she left the library.

"What?" Lucius let go of the raven's arm, setting his hands on his hips, "I sent her away, so what's the problem?"

"She was all over you," James hissed, trying to make sure no one heard him – the girls in the corner still batting their lashes at him, "and she made you laugh!"

He made it sound as if laughing was something really bad and should be banned for life – never mind the fact that my dad apparently loves hearing mister Malfoy laugh, Harry thought.

"Yes, well, hopeless and trashy do tend to make me laugh," Lucius sneered, frown still in place, then, he mocked: "does that make me a bad person?"

"Don't go smart on me," James still glared, even though now, he was more sombre than angry, "she touched you!" he said desperately, "If I would touch you in public, you'd pull back!"

"How would you know?" Lucius questioned sternly, "You've never tried, have you?"

James' eyes widened, and their eyes met – he tried to see if the blonde was really serious, or just playing. When he saw only complete honesty, he reached out to cup Lucius' upper arm.

It was as if an electric spark shook up his spine, the mere idea of Lucius' skin touching his, separated by only a single layer of cloth. Lucius seemed to be measuring him, giving him the most piercing look James had ever gotten.

"Come with me," James' hand slipped from the blonde's shoulder to his wrist, leading him back to Lucius' study-area.

Before the blonde could question James' motives, the smaller boy had pushed Lucius into the bookracks urgently, and pulled the rosy mouth to his own.

And they kissed.

James let his hand slide up to Lucius' neck, cupping his cheek tenderly. Lucius' eyes had gone wide in surprise, but Harry watched them flutter shut when his dad stood on tiptoes and meshed their bodies completely together.

It seemed like hours before Lucius finally pushed at James' chest, separating, with their lips inches apart. They both panted softly, James' breath against Lucius' cheeks, warming him. Their bodies were hot under layers of clothes, restricted but burning up—and in a really stupid way, it made James want to laugh aloud.

Everything Lucius had ever told him seemed to play back in his head, his mind clouding with Lucius, Lucius, LuciusLuciusLucius. It seemed so trivial now, that Lucius' father would never approve and that James would probably never be able to publically kiss the blonde.

Suddenly it didn't matter that he was still so young, and that he wasn't supposed to know what he wanted—everything just faded into the background, and no colours or houses or biased believes or the subconscious of wrong and right and any subcontext could change this one undeniable fact.

He had fallen for Lucius Malfoy. He'd fallen hard and fast, and from the very first time he had laid eyes on him, he had been sure.

No one else could ever make him feel like he did in that moment.

The certainty that this was now one of the things he wanted so bad, right there within his reach—the sense of freedom—it was something only Lucius could give him. Only Lucius could make him feel so fulfilled.

They were completely silent for a minute, and then they moved smoothly together, James leaning back up as Lucius' hand slid to rest on his lower back, and just like that they began kissing again. James' hand cupped Lucius' neck and he had to stand on his toes slightly, but it was worth it to taste the blonde's mouth again. Each time they parted, they reconnected again almost immediately, brushing their lips together before pushing them tighter to one another's.

And like that, the image resolved. The scene ran into one of the Hogwarts courtyards, James, Sirius and Remus seated on one of the stone benches. Remus was working on an essay, with Sirius trying to get the brunette's attention. James pretended to study, instead absentmindedly glancing at the other side of the courtyard.

Lucius and Severus were sitting across from the Gryffindors, in deep conversation, with the blonde girl from the library next to the older boy. She was quite obviously making James jealous, Harry noticed, and Sirius too seemed to remark the change in James' behaviour. When he noticed the boy was not studying at all—not even ranting about Quidditch or complaining about lessons—he followed the raven's pointed stare, and smirked when he saw Lucius.

"So, mate," Sirius poked his friend with the devious smile still in place—he was worried, but he decided to first find out if his worry was justified before going into full best-friend mode, "you and Lucius still on a no-talking basis?"

When Sirius got no reply from his friend, besides a little squirm at the poke, he snapped his fingers sharply in front of James' face. As if awakening from a hypnotic trance, James blinked dumbly and turned his wide eyes on Sirius instead. Remus looked up in question, and James frowned.

"Wha?" he asked confused, barely making proper words.

Sirius chuckled, shaking his head at his friend's stupidity.

"You and Lucius talkin'?" Sirius managed through his laughter.

"Yeah," James nodded avidly, "yeah, sure. I mean, yeah we talk... we talked yesterday, and I mean, sure we talk and—"

Before he could repeat the same thing a fourth time, Sirius cut him off.

"So why don't you go talk with him now?" Sirius urged, giving his back a shove.

James stumbled to his feet, the heavy Potions book falling from his lap. Remus rolled his eyes and picked it up, while James looked nervously from Sirius to Lucius. Sirius gave him an encouraging nod, before giving his back another shove, sending him into the Slytherins' general direction.

Instantly, James felt his palms getting sweaty, the idea of talking to the blonde suddenly too much to bear. He couldn't get their make-out session out of his head, and the only coherent thought had been the one of being deprived of the other boy's lips for so long. He couldn't help it if Lucius was so addictive. All he wanted to do was sit with the blonde and watch him all day long, he was too good to resist.

He wiped his hands on his jeans, running one through his hair. A girl passed and gave him a wink, so he decided that if he was good enough for some random girl, it would just have to do. He made his way over to the stone bench where Lucius was seated, and swallowed thickly.

James was tall enough to block out the sun, and Lucius looked up when a shadow was thrown over him suddenly. A smile appeared in the corner of his mouth when he saw James, but still he waited for the raven to begin speaking.

"Uhm... hi?" James tried keeping his voice steady, and was reassured when he spoke loud enough to attract both Severus' and the blonde girl's attention.

"Hello," Lucius replied, a playful hint to his tone which caused James to blush.

"I was just..." he stopped when he realised he didn't know how to finish that sentence, "How are you?"

"I'm fine, thank you," Lucius voice was smooth as ever, and James just wanted to take his head in his hands and kiss his face all over, "and you?"

"Yeah, me too..." he coughed, shifting on his feet, "So..."

"What do you want Potter!" Severus snapped suddenly, as if he had had enough of James' presence.

James glared, embarrassed that he was too weak to even scare the other Slytherin off, but before he could reply angrily, Lucius did so in his stead.

"Severus, please, we're trying to have a conversation," he fixed his friend with a stern scowl, "if it bothers you so much, we'll leave."

He stood, neatly laying his book down to keep his spot. The girl took a grab of his wrist, and James inwardly fumed.

"Lucius, don't go," she whined.

"Shove off," he replied crudely—James' eyes widening at the tone—as he gestured the Gryffindor to walk with him.

"How is your studying going?" Lucius asked politely, as soon as they had reached a rather deserted spot near the fountains. Students were still walking criss-cross around the courtyard to get to their lessons, but they were far enough for people not to hear what they were discussing.

"My studying?" James frowned—Harry chuckled at his father's complete loss of words, knowing that it was caused solely by Lucius' presence. The idea that his father couldn't even remember that he had been supposedly studying was too funny not to laugh.

"I saw you with your friends," Lucius waved it off, "I take it you hadn't been all too focused?"

"Not really," James shrugged, "it was stupid, I couldn't stop staring at you."

Some of his usually proud demeanour returned, and this time he didn't even blush. Lucius' lips curled up into a smile.

"I'm flattered," he said softly, folding his hands behind his back, "thank you."

"I was wondering... isn't it a Hogsmeade weekend?" James changed the subject, afraid he would start blushing anyway if Lucius continued to use that affectionate voice on him.

"Yes," and James groaned inwardly, because his natural silky tone was even nicer to hear, "you can't go though, you're a second year?"

It was a statement formulated as a question formulated as a statement. It made James' head spin.

"I could go," he said with a shrug. When he received a questioning glance, he grinned, "we're making this map you see, and we've found a tunnel that leads all the way out of Hogwarts. We're not completely sure yet, to where it leads, but we're guessing somewhere in Hogsmeade."

"I wouldn't want you to get into trouble because of me," Lucius smirked, "you get enough of that anyway. If you insist, I can stay."

"Oh no, I don't want you to not-go," James shook his head in protest, "I was just hoping we could see each other again. Soon."

"We're seeing each other now, aren't we?" his tone was mocking, causing James to pout—how dare he! He was supposed to be a man!

...but then again, it was rather sweet to watch.

"In private. I want to hold your hand. Or touch your hair," he groaned softly, "either. Both. You should wear it loose more often," he indicated the blonde locks, tied back in a pony tail, "I like it when your hair is loose."

"I shouldn't be so easy about this," Lucius sighed, seating himself on the edge of the fountain, pensively regarding the smaller boy, "you don't love me you know. It's just infatuation."

To James, it was as if Lucius' eyes could see right into his soul, leaving his core barren. But James also knew he was mistaken, and he would do whatever he could to prove the man wrong.

"I thought we had agreed you'd give me a shot?" he felt a sudden coldness enter his being and swallowed thickly again.

"We did," Lucius agreed, "you're too kind to me. I am still an evil-minded Slytherin."

"And I love you for it," James pretended he didn't see the doubt in Lucius' eyes, and said sternly: "I need to kiss you again. Touch your hair. Anything."

"You're too impatient," when Lucius chuckled, James sighed in relief, glad he had changed the blonde's mind.

Harry found it peculiar how easily Lucius could go from stone-cold to heart-warming, but than again, all Malfoys knew how to work the charm.

"I can be patient," James said petulantly, "I just don't want to be."

Lucius laughed again, shaking his head in disapproval. Still, he was obviously amused, and ran a hand through the water, which made James smile. He remembered the smell of the blonde's fingertips, and wished to have it stained against his lips.

"If you want to prove to me that you love me, you'll have to be," his voice returned to strict again, authority ringing through, and Harry was once more shocked at how easily his behaviour changed, "have I mentioned I will not risk my father's wrath for a crush?"

"I believe you also mentioned giving me a go," James said with a dangerously vulnerable tremor in his voice, "did you change your mind?"

Lucius considered this, his eyes narrowed. Eventually, he shook his head.

"If that had been the case, believe me, you would've known," he said.

James sighed in obvious relief, sitting down by the side of the fountain, next to the blonde. James looked up at him, imagining he would say something sooner or later. His eyes were fixed on the water, and he watched it glide through his own pale fingers gently.

"Perhaps Monday," Lucius said pensively—as if he was already reconsidering his words.

"Monday?" James blinked dumbly.

"We can meet Monday," Lucius clarified, turning to the raven, "unless you're busy Monday."

"No!" James' eyes widened and he sounded panicky, "I'm free on Monday!"

Lucius looked amused by his sudden willingness, and gave a sly smirk.

"Alright, don't forget to bring your potion kit," he said with a nod, and James' face fell, "you didn't forget you have a potions test on Tuesday, did you?"

Harry wanted to laugh at his father's stupidity, but he knew how horrible those potions tests could be, so he refrained.

"We're going to study?" James gave a groan, then pouted as if that would help.

Lucius, as always, was unfazed by the childish pout, and chuckled.

"I promised Slughorn I would help you," Lucius reminded him. When James continued to pout, his smirk widened and turned rather coy, and he set a hand on the raven's shoulder—James felt the familiar current run up his spine and his skin turned hot—leaning forward so he could whisper in his ear: "for each correct phase you complete, I'll let you kiss me, I promise."

When he looked at the boy's face, James was full-out grinning, his smile reaching his eyes. Lucius gave a contented nod and let go of the boy's arm, though James' smile did not falter.

"Excellent," he flashed him a private smile, before turning on his heel, "I'll see you on Monday."

James watched him return to his friends with hearts in his eyes, disbelieving that he would only have to suffer for four more days before he was allowed to touch the blonde freely. He knew that the promise of even a single kiss was more than enough to last him all week, but he was also ecstatic that he wouldn't even have to wait that long.

He returned to Sirius and Remus with the broadest grin still on his face, the two having a friendly argument about their essays. They were teasing as James sat down, sending the blonde girl, who was once more flattering herself to Lucius, a hateful glare before he turned goo-goo-eyed once more.

Four more days.

"Who is that stupid bitch anyway," he grunted, and Sirius looked up in surprise—his hair stuck at all angles from where he had been tickling Remus, only to be attacked in return.

"She's a friend of Narcissa," he replied, and smoothened his black mop, giving Remus a last poke, and then he added thoughtfully: "he must really like you mate."

"What do you mean?" James frowned and picked up his text book, eyes still on Lucius.

"You do realise he's the coldest prick in Hogwarts right?" Sirius said, eyebrows up in disbelief, "He's only ever nice to you. I mean, had anyone else just strutted over there like that, he would've cursed them into next week!"

At this James glared, and he turned to his friend.

"You mean to say you sent me over there knowing fully well he might curse me for it!" he sounded outraged, and Harry laughed aloud, before the image dissolved into a new one.

James was seated by a table in an empty potions lab. His kit was next to him, open and on display, the cauldron cold above an unlit fire. He had his notebook opened on the desk, and he was tapping at it with his quill, humming to a wordless tune.

Lucius appeared in the doorway soon after, his bookbag slung around his shoulder nonchalantly. When he realised James was already in the classroom, his eyes widened a fraction, and he closed the door behind him with a soft 'thunk'.

"James, you're here already?" it wasn't as much of a question as a statement, but the blonde still expected an answer.

"I was here this morning and at lunch as well," he said with a shrug, eyes lighting up at the sight of the beautiful boy before him, "I wasn't sure if we'd agreed on an hour, so I just decided to check."

"I thought I'd missed you at lunch..." Lucius said pensively, before heading over and agreeing: "I am sorry, I had just assumed we would do this after classes, since that's how we've been doing it all this time. That was wrong of me."

"Oh no, please don't blame yourself for my being an idiot," James objected, shaking his head fervently, "I should have known. That makes much more sense than my stupid reasoning that perhaps you were in the mood for potions before breakfast."

Lucius chuckled at the boy's expression, and joined him on the work-table.

"Well, if you put it like that," he rolled his eyes mildly, flashing James a rare grin – one reserved solely for the raven, Harry believed, since he had never, not in the memories or in reality, seen Lucius grin around anyone else – before setting his own potion's kit next to James', "let's begin, shall we?"

James gave a nod, eagerly flipping open his potion's book—Lucius' promise had been stuck in his head ever since it had been made—even if he didn't like potions, at all, he was looking forward to his reward. When Lucius took his book from him, pushing it aside, he was confused, to say the least, but with the promise of a kiss for every well-completed stage, he was willing to let it slide.

"We'll start with a Swelling solution," Lucius decided, taking his own notes from his bag, "you should know that one by heart by now, so let's see if you've been brushing up on your general potion-knowledge," James' mouth fell, but Lucius was reading the parchment before him, a stubborn set to his jaw, "alright, phase one, ingredients. What goes in a Swelling solution James?"

He looked up expectantly at his own question, eyebrows arching up gracefully when he saw James' baffled look.

"You want me to make a Swelling solution without my book?" James asked, incredulous, "Surely you must have a death wish."

Lucius chortled. James was dead-serious.

"James, you've made the Swelling solution hundreds of time by now, it's one of the potions Slughorn repeats every lesson," Lucius said, indifferent to James' dramatic expression, "it can be cooked in ten minutes. It'll be fine."

"The last time I tried a Swelling solution I managed to melt down my own cauldron," James grimaced, "I don't do well without specific notes... hell, I don't even do well with specific notes!"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there," Lucius said simply, "first tell me, what are the ingredients used in a Swelling solution? I doubt naming those will make your cauldron melt."

James gave mentioned cauldron a suspicious look, before gnawing at his bottom lip in thought.

"Eyes," he finally decided, and Harry rolled his own green ones. Even he could be more specific when it came to potions.

"You need to be more specific than that James," Lucius explained patiently, "not just any set of eyes will do."

"I can't remember," James whined, "I'm no good at this. Can't we just snog instead?"

"No, we cannot," Lucius glared suddenly, "I'm trying to teach you something you can use in your later life, and I doubt your knowledge of what my tonsils feel like will convince anyone to hire you. So pay attention. If you get through phase one, you get one kiss," he inhaled briefly and Harry could tell he had trouble keeping his emotions in check, "what kind of eyes go into the Swelling solution?"

"Well..." James focused on the empty blackboard, dusty and grand, "I remember it were... some kind of fish eyes..."

"Alright, that's something," Lucius urged him, "what kind of fish?"

"The one with the weird skin-colour," suddenly James grinned, "yeah! It's erm... the puffer-fish!"

"Correct," Lucius nodded, giving a faint smile at James' enthusiasm over such a small feat, "What is the next ingredient?"

"Alright, I know this," James concentrated, a new sort of determination set on his features, "there's toadstool, skin of a boomslang, flubberworms and..." he paused, eyes narrowing on the blackboard in concentration, as if he would be able to read the answers off there, "...wings of the black butterfly."

"That's good," Lucius nodded happily, "that was easy, wasn't it?"

James looked at the older boy as if he was insane, collecting the needed items from his kit.

"You call that easy?" he asked dubiously, "The only reason it was easy is because now I get to kiss you."

"A proper reward can be very stimulating," Lucius agreed, "alright, one phase, one kiss."

He turned to the younger boy and waited for him to collect his reward. James leaned up eagerly, pushing his lips to Lucius', his tan hand setting on the shoulder of Lucius' dress shirt.

Before he had a chance to deepen the kiss, Lucius retreated, focusing on his parchment once more. James pouted, but when he saw the blonde's pink tongue lick his lips as if to have a taste of James still left there, he grinned, biting his bottom lip. The boy was too gorgeous to stand.

"Alright," Lucius ignored the look James was giving him, "phase two is..."

The image shifted slightly, and Harry noticed that the colour of the sky outside of the potion's lab had darkened considerably, from a light blue to a dark black. They were still in the same room, six different vials of potions set on the bench, next to their empty cauldrons and closed books. The two boys were on the floor in front of the bench—Lucius was seating with his back against the wall, a bag of Bertie Bott's beans between his crossed legs, his notes on his lap—James leaning against it with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"...twenty-two flubberworms?" he queried eventually.

"Correct," Lucius threw a bean his way, which James caught with his mouth, causing the blonde to chuckle, "you shouldn't be so insecure, you're doing very well."

"I'm still nervous though," James admitted, and he pulled his legs up to his chest, studying Lucius' face, "I've never been good at potions before. Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me," Lucius smiled up at him, their eyes locking, "you worked hard."

"You're the only reason I did," James shrugged, "if it weren't for you I would've pretended to listen to Remus as he tried bashing some knowledge in. He tries, but his rewards are amply less entertaining."

The blonde laughed aloud, his smile lighting up his entire face, and Harry was starting to understand what James saw in him. He had never seen Lucius Malfoy smile in real life, but he was so handsome when he did, it was hard not to be attracted to him.

Lucius threw another bean James' way, and the raven caught it smirking.

"Oh, it's my turn, right?" James' eyes started sparkling, and he bent his back so he could lean over his own tucked up legs, tapping the floor with his fingers, "Let's see... your favourite meal?"

"Bubble and squeak," Lucius said, his cheeks turning the lightest shade of pink at the confession.

James' grin widened and he laughed again.

"Really? A leftover man, are you?" his canines showed in his grin, and Lucius rolled his eyes at the unabashed teasing.

"I do prefer leftovers over fish eggs, yes," he quipped, taking a bean for himself.

"You are not at all like I thought you'd be Lucius," James' smile morphed into something kinder, less teasing.

Lucius' eyebrow rose delicately, and he fished another bean from the bag, popping it into his mouth and chewing thoughtfully.

"Do I disappoint you?" he asked, almost painfully casual.

Once more, James' smile widened, though it was still kind and upright, all the teasing gone. He wrapped his arms around his legs tighter, leaning his head on his knees.

"Not at all," he answered honestly, "you're even better than I could've ever imagined."

Then, he crawled over towards Lucius – a bit clumsily – and sat down next to him, flattering his side into the blonde's.

"Do you still want to ask me questions?" he asked, giving a point at the parchment, "Because I'm confident that I can at least pass this test."

"Alright, then I won't ask you any questions," Lucius set down his papers, leaning his head back against the cold brick wall. He eyed James suspiciously when the boy flattered his head against his shoulder more comfortably, "Don't get any funny ideas there Potter," he warned.

James looked up innocently, eyes wide.

"I'm just using your shoulder for support," he pouted, "I wasn't thinking of anything pervy..."

"Of course not," a small chortle escaped the pink lips, and James sighed happily.

"I was thinking... maybe we could go on a date again?" James sounded a bit nervous, but was still rather relaxed, the feel of Lucius next to him calming him, "Because I've noticed you don't really like touching and maybe you won't mind so much if we got to know each other better."

"The fact that I don't like people touching me has nothing to do with you James," Lucius looked down at him, hoping they could hold each other's looks, but James was staring at the stone floor, "actually, you're one of the only people that can touch me..."

Suddenly he sounded pensive, and James looked up, though now it was Lucius that was looking away.

"That's good," James decided, "it means you like me. I won't hurt you, you know."

"I have no doubt you won't hurt me physically," the blonde agreed to the statement, eyes briefly locking with James' deep brown ones, "mentally... we'll see."

James turned to sit on his knees, positioning himself so he could fully see Lucius. He was confused, the emotion etched on his face, and his brow was clearly rumpled.

"You're afraid I will hurt you?" he asked in disbelief, "After almost two years of bugging you I finally convince you to give me a try, yet you're the one afraid of rejection?"

"Don't flatter yourself," Lucius snarled suddenly, pushing himself up his feet, "it's not rejection I fear, but my father's reaction. There are certain rules Malfoys follow, though I don't expect you to understand that, since you make it your goal to tread on every rule ever made. He would probably throw me down a set of stairs if he knew I had let you touch me."

"How the hell is that even fair?" James got up as well, giving Lucius an accusing glare, "When I wake up in the morning the only thing I want is to see you, and when I do, I tell myself I'll be fine when you smile but even when you smile it's still not enough because I want to keep you close! Your father needs to revise those rules because they make no sense whatsoever!"

"This is absurd," Lucius glared fiercely and he turned to the door. His robes followed his figure, angrily swishing in the wind, "Don't take me for a fool Potter, I will not be sweet-talked by someone like you!"

"Someone like me?" James spat. He followed Lucius into the hallway, leaving his potions behind with Lucius' kit, "And who would that be?"

"A snotty nosed kid that thinks he can just use me and coax me with bloody kisses!" the blonde threw a glare over his shoulder, "If you were so desperate to get better at potions all you had to do was ask! You didn't have to flirt your way into a P!"

"Are you completely deranged!" James yelled, picking up his step to keep up with the taller Slytherin, "I fucking adore you, but you're not good enough to get me a fucking P, no matter how hard you try!"

James pulled Lucius to a stop, ruthlessly pulling the blonde head down into a hard kiss. The golden locks glittered all sorts of violent silvers in the moonlight, and Lucius' eyes were wide-open, a dangerous steel. He indulged James for as long as it took, but refused to open his mouth. James desperately tried to force him to, begging entrance using his tongue, but Lucius stayed still and didn't respond.

When James finally grew tired of trying, deciding he would just have to talk some more to get the blonde to forgive him, he pulled back, panting softly.

"Don't ever," Lucius said, voice like venom, "kiss me again without permission."

With that, he turned around and walked away, leaving James alone in the corridor. James was afraid to even as much as move, the stone-cold voice resounding in his head. Harry was afraid to move as well, even though he knew Lucius wouldn't be able to harm him, even if he did, and he felt terribly sorry for his father, but the image slowly faded and ran into another one. Harry barely even noticed, but instead watched as time was speeded up, the darkness behind the tall windows disappearing and being replaced by harsh sunlight. The hallway was filled with dozens of students, and Harry noticed his father coming from the potions lab, carrying his own kit as well as Lucius'. He was talking to Sirius and Remus and Peter, and Harry headed over so he could hear them speak. James had a broad grin on his face, though it didn't reach his eyes, making it clear that he wasn't as happy as he appeared to be.

"I'll catch up with you guys later, okay?" James shooed his friends off, "I promised Slughorn I'd return this to Lucius."

Remus nodded and he turned to leave with Peter, pausing when he noticed Sirius didn't follow. The raven watched his friend walk into the opposite direction.

"I'll be right behind, I just need to ask 'em something," he smiled at the brunette, before going after his friend.

James was too engrossed in his own thoughts to notice Sirius' presence and he almost jumped when Sirius set his hand on his shoulder.

"Hey," the boy greeted, taking his time to think of what to say, "are you alright? Was it the test?"

"Oh, no," James tried smiling, but now that he knew that he couldn't fool Sirius, it seemed pointless, "the test went great. I'm sure I'll get an A, at least!"

"Is it Lucius then?" Sirius pried further, "I'd noticed something was off when you returned from your studying yesterday. Is he bad at tutoring?"

"Not at all," James shook his head fiercely, "he's the only reason I'll even pass the test! It's just..." he looked a bit uncomfortable, and scratched the back of his neck. He was momentarily distracted by a girl passing by and winking, and grinned back. But then when he turned around Sirius was looking at him and he sighed deeply, "We had a fight."

"What was it about?" Sirius asked gently.

"Honestly? I don't even know for sure," James shrugged, "first we were fine really, but then we started about his dad's stupid rules and it escalated and he kind of... accused me of only wanting to be his... friend so he can tutor me."

"Well that's just silly," Sirius frowned, tapping the boy's back in comfort, "I'm sure he knows better than that, you must've really set him off."

"You don't think that's what made him angry?" James looked over at his friend, trying to read his thoughts, his eyes wide, "Because he stormed off angrily..."

"It's more likely that the fact that you talked about his father confused him," Sirius pushed a lock of black hair behind his ear, pausing contemplatively, "I don't think he talks about his dad often. I mean... I don't talk about my parents often because they're horrid, but Lucius' dad is even worse. He would stop at nothing to keep his son in line, and James," his voice turned oddly stern, and he turned sideways and ducked his head, lowering to a mere whisper: "when I say nothing, I mean nothing."

James blinked a couple of times, letting the information sink in.

"I might have..." he stopped himself in shame, feeling guilty after what Sirius had told him, "Perhaps I implied that he's an idiot for listening to his father..." he bit his lip, looking up at his friend with hope for comfort, "I mean... I said the rules were stupid."

"Well, it could've been worse," Sirius shrugged half-heartedly, and they reached the transformation corridor, where the third-grade Slytherins were gathered, "he could've killed you."

James sent a glare his way and spotted Lucius in the crowd. He was talking to one of his fellow Slytherins, pushing his hair back behind his ear every now and then when it bothered him. He had a sort of frown on his face, nodding to indicate he agreed with the other boy, while still remaining his usual stern self.

"So, just go apologise," Sirius proposed.

"Why is it that every time you try to be nice," James glared, "I get a feeling you're trying to get me killed?"

"You want things to be okay again, don't you?" Sirius asked, "And just look at it this way: he's had hundreds of chances to kill you, why would he do it now, with all those eyewitnesses?"

James gave his friend a full-on glare and left his side—which Harry figured was actually Sirius' purpose—making his way to the back of the line where Lucius stood. As soon as he was close to the boy, the other Slytherin frowned, realising there was a Gryffindor coming over to talk, apparently.

"What do you want?" the boy sneered, and Lucius turned around in surprise.

When their eyes locked, Lucius' darkened and he tipped up his head slightly as a sign of superiority, daring James to speak. The younger gulped helplessly and briefly gazed at Sirius who was just standing there, smiling. The bastard.

"Erm... I just..." he bit his lip and then gathered all his courage, pushing Lucius' kit into the boy's arms, "I'm sorry that we fought. I know it's my fault, I shouldn't have... brought it up in the first place, I had no right, but... I know I could never force you to tutor me, even if I wanted to, so I can promise you, I didn't even try. I'm really not that kind of person and I made sure Slughorn would give you extra credit for your hard work," he took a deep intake of breath, "I'm really very sorry and hope you can forgive me. I will go now, I've made enough of a twat out of myself."

With that he returned to Sirius' side, worrying his lower lip as if he was afraid Lucius would jump at him suddenly. Sirius looked oddly proud, and gave him a hug when his friend reached him.

"That was awful," James groaned, "I feel awful. I can't believe what a twat I am."

"I'm sure it will be fine," Sirius smiled, "you got him back his kit and—oh..."

"What?" James frowned, and Sirius gave a pointed stare at the boy's kit.

"Does that say L.M.?" Sirius took it from his hands, "Ah, yes it does."

James' eyes widened in absolute horror.

"Oh no, I can't go back there now!" James whimpered at the thought of having to face Lucius again, "He's so uncaring! And oh nononono, Merlin, no!"

Sirius patted his shoulder reassuringly and went over the blonde Slytherin in James' stead. When Lucius' conversation-partner noticed the Gryffindor, he gave Sirius a pointed stare, once more drawing Lucius' attention. He turned to the Black boy in mild interest, frowning.

"I'm terribly sorry to interrupt," Sirius said pleasantly, "James gave you the wrong one," he swapped the kits and gave a smile, "ah. And he's very sorry."

Lucius nodded in understanding, and then pointed at something behind Sirius. The boy turned—Harry following to see what was going on—and his eyes widened. James was banging his head against the wall, hard.

"You might want to go stop him before he bashes his brains out," Lucius suggested, "that'd be no sight."

"You could just forgive him you know," Sirius turned back to look at Lucius, trying to pierce him with a stern gaze.

"Yes, I could," Lucius agreed, and then went back to his conversation with the other Slytherin.

Sirius rolled his eyes and went to aid his friend.

"Come on James, we have to get to class," he carefully removed James from the wall—everyone staring at the boy in shock—fixing his glasses on his nose, "that's better, off we go."

James wobbled a bit as he walked, his head dizzy, but followed his friend as best as he could.

Harry felt a tug and was catapulted into the couch quite suddenly and it felt as if he had been pulled out of the image rather than it had just dissolved. James was seated next to him, giving him a smile.

"You realise you're a moron, don't you?" Harry said, a bit peeved.

Really, why was James always banging his head into things at one point or another?

"I prefer the term 'fool for love'," James quipped happily, "besides, there is no denying the fact that Lucius is worth it."

"He looks really nice," Harry had to agree, "not like the Lucius Malfoy I know."

"Well, if I were him, I'd be bitter too," James turned a bit sad, giving a small scowl, "I know this won't do me any good, and I'm a mere memory but... is Draco okay? And do you know if my son is okay too?"

"Yeah, they're both fine," Harry grinned now—even though he knew James couldn't actually see him, and that his father wasn't actually there to begin with, it was still nice to talk to him like that, "they don't like each other very much, but I think that will change soon."

"That's good," James smiled again, "I'd always hoped we'd be a family some day. Lucius is really good with kids you know, for as far as I know Narcissa never took much care of Draco. I'm sure he turned out just like him."

"Yeah," Harry chuckled, nodding, "yeah, he did."

AN: yes for ending it here ! Come and see next chapter ! BEG FOR IT !