Revolutionizing a Robot
Chapter Eight: The Pros and Cons of Musicians
You guys have permission to smack me now. I'm so sorry I haven't updated this! I unfortunately lost inspiration, and this isn't as good as the previous chapters. I'm sorry, but I promise chapter nine will be better! We're also nearing the end, isn't this going to be fun? Hahah. Thank you so much, all you wonderful reviewers!
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A week tended to be a fairly long amount of time for Bender. The human lifespan was certainly longer than the usefulness of most robot models, and Bender vaguely wondered if he was slowly becoming obsolete with each passing day. But such melancholy thoughts were tossed aside; besides, if he did actually become useless, he'd just shut himself off permanently. Or use a suicide booth. As if those things could ever actually kill him, hah!
With his feet propped up on the coffee table as usual, eyes glued to the commercial-ridden television program, Bender realized just how much time really had passed since the Professor fired them. It had been slightly over a week—one hundred and eighty one hours, to be exact. One hundred and eighty one hours of the Robot Devil practically attached to his side.
It was indeed odd that the ruler of Robot Hell itself would be so determined to stay with Bender and Fry, but it was even stranger that he showed no signs of malfunction, yet still claimed this was merely to make sure his legs held up. Oh please. Anyone could see through that lie. But why exactly was he still here? Was it because he wanted to bum off Bender for awhile? That jerk! No wait, that couldn't be it. The Robot Devil didn't ask for anything, after all. Perhaps he was avoiding paperwork down in Robot Hell? But he hadn't had a problem with it before. Hmm. Bender let the thoughts roll aimlessly through his mind as the commercials trailed off to return to the program—a rather old episode of Hypnotoad.
"Hey, Bender!" The human's voice from the bathroom alerted Bender that there were other things in his life besides TV and his own circling thoughts, and the robot moved a little to glance over at the half-open door. "Go get the plunger! I think I got my foot stuck in the toilet again!"
The robot shook his head and let out what passed for a sigh before finally getting up and starting toward the small closet, where various cleaning supplies were kept (and of course, never used). "Plunger, plunger," He repeated to himself, trying to remember which one that was. Finally deciding on the weird thing with the cup on the end, he plodded into the bathroom and handed it over to the human, folding his arms afterwards. "Any reason why you stuck your foot in the toilet, meatbag?"
"Not particularly." Fry shrugged and took the plunger, attempting to wedge his foot out with muted grunts.
Bender left, already bored of the human's futile attempt to free himself from the watery death-trap known as the toilet. Plopping back onto the couch, he heard the tell-tale swish as the door to his own room opened and a familiar face entered.
"Ah, Bender! You'll never guess what I found!" The Robot Devil declared, immediately shoving Bender over and taking his spot on the couch. The other robot complained, but didn't make a move to take his seat back. The Robot Devil continued before Bender could guess, "I discovered something absolutely magnificent! Sheer brilliance, I'd say." And with that, he held up a square and unremarkable case, smaller than the size of Bender's head.
"And?" The other robot prompted, reaching for the remote to turn up the volume and tune the Robot Devil out. "What's so wonderful 'bout a stupid case?" Unless, of course, it contained money. He doubted it though.
The Robot Devil sighed and shook his head, then set the case down (conveniently on top of the remote, effectively hitting the mute button as well), and opened it up. Within was something familiar to Bender, though it took several moments of assembly before he recognized it.
"Oh, a holophoner."
"You've seen one then?" The Robot Devil asked as he deftly twisted the last piece into place and tapped his fingers against the keys experimentally, examining the musical instrument from all angles.
"Yeah, Fry plays it. Remember? The hands deal?"
Instead of responding (or more than likely, not wanting to remember), the Robot Devil brought the instrument to his jaw. Bender wondered how a robot could play an instrument that clearly required air, when suddenly the holophoner produced a magical sound, immediately weaving out a tapestry of colors and images that Bender could only attempt to keep up with. The Robot Devil looked relatively pleased with himself, though it was only as a passing thought that Bender even noticed him over the music and images.
A flushing sound came from the bathroom, ruining the musical piece and shattering the once-peaceful mood. The Robot Devil turned his head to look in the bathroom's direction, Bender following his gaze. Fry came out, pant-leg soaked, and looked over at the two robots on the couch. "Hey, is that my holophoner?" He asked.
"No, I bought it at a pawn shop. I suppose yours would be better though? This one's quality is absolutely atrocious." The Robot Devil shook his head and set about undoing the pieces to store it away in the case. "I believe I'll attempt to look for a superior model. But they aren't very common…"
"Wait, hang on." Bender stalled the Robot Devil with a hand placed to his arm. The Robot Devil gave him an enigmatic look before Bender quickly continued, "I thought it was pretty good. Better than the meatbag's playin', that is. Why don'tcha teach him?"
"Oh hey, that sounds like a good idea!" Fry nodded and rushed off to go get his holophoner.
"Bender, I don't teach. I'm the Robot Devil, for Godbot's sake!" He was apparently unaware of the paradox his statement presented, for the Robot Devil shook his head and continued, "Besides, humans are so slow. They just aren't quick enough to learn the art of the holophoner."
Bender shrugged. "Fry's okay at it, I guess. Not like I'd know, 'cause music sucks."
That was probably the wrong thing to say. "What? Sucks? Music?" The Robot Devil's rather unintelligible speech was rendered from shock, and he managed the expression as best he could with an immobile, never-changing grin. "Hardly! Music is the epitome of human intelligence! Why, without music there'd be—"
"—Less noise?" Bender continued sarcastically, extending his arm to grab the remote from under the holophoner case, deciding that television was better than listening to the squeaking of Fry's holophoner. "Besides, most music is awful."
"You certainly seemed amused when I was playing the violin." The Robot Devil remarked snidely, putting the holophoner away and crossing his arms as the television's sound took over the room again. Only the sound of Hypnotoad's hypnotic vision echoed around the small apartment for a moment, broken when Fry reentered with the holophoner.
"Oh hey, Hypnotoad!" He sat on Bender's other side, and immediately forgot about playing. That left the trio watching in silence until the commercial break, where an add for Nappster popped up. "I thought they were shut down." Fry commented.
"Huh," Bender didn't remotely care, but made the noise to appease the human's overwhelming sense of curiosity. He just never shut up about anything, did he? The robot on his side didn't move, though his tail was swishing about, nearly trailing on the floor. Bender wondered how he could constantly move it. Seemed rather pointless to him.
The silence lasted through another episode of Hypnotoad, but by then it had become awkward rather than comfortable. Fry made up some excuse to scamper out of the room, leaving the two robots focused on the TV. But that wasn't going to last for long, because apparently they'd forgotten to pay the electric bill. All the lights, as well as the TV, shut off abruptly, causing Bender to groan.
"Dammit," He remarked, getting up and starting toward the window. It was sometime after noon, which really meant Bender had plenty of time to pay the electric bill before Fry dragged himself back home. "I'm not paying for his damn electricity. He needs it more than I do!"
"I thought you were addicted to the television." There was something in the Robot Devil's tone of voice that caused Bender to turn his head all the way around, confused. All the time he had been here, the Robot Devil had been at least civil, and rather amusing to be around. But his tone of voice was icy cold—probably as cold as Fry claimed his hands were. The robotic prince of darkness was still seated at the couch, staring at the black TV screen, arms and legs crossed, and his tail swishing in a more frantic pattern than the norm.
"Something wrong?" Bender asked before he could really think about it. Damn, that chip! He wasn't supposed to be empathetic toward anyone. He folded his arms as well, and turned around to give the other robot his full attention. "Well?"
The Robot Devil turned slowly, standing to face Bender. "I don't believe you're stupid, Bender, but I don't think you've figured it out yet."
"Figured what out?"
"It," The Robot Devil replied sarcastically. Bender rolled his eyes in response, but the Robot Devil continued quickly, "Why do you believe I've stayed up here, hmm? I can assure you it's not because of any other malfunctions with my legs."
"Yeah, the old man fixed you up pretty good." Bender shrugged. He didn't seem to realize the Robot Devil was waiting for him to answer the question. "What?"
A loud sigh was the response he got, as the Robot Devil pressed a hand to what passed as his temples irritably. "Listen, Bender, I'll make this very easy for you to understand, alright?"
"Uh-huh?"
"I've remained on the surface here—with you and that fleshy pet of yours—because I find you to be an interesting robot."
"Well, I am." Bender replied with another shrug, folding his arms. "What's your point?"
The Robot Devil's narrowed eyes were enough of an expression to reveal his disgust toward Bender's naivety. "Three words, my metallic companion; I. Like. You."
The gears slowly whirred and clicked their way into place in Bender's head as he tried to process this new and strange information. The damned disc sent out a vibrant "Yes!" through Bender's entire system, but for once it didn't win. "Wait, what?"
"I'm going back to Robot Hell," The Robot Devil remarked, picking up the Holophoner case. "It has been quite entertaining, but I do have work to attend to."
"But you said—?"
"So long, and don't come back unless you're in the mood for a deal—one that doesn't involve my hands being stolen." With that, the Robot Devil turned on his heel and stalked out of the room, leaving one very confused robot.
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Night fell, and sure enough, Fry returned to a darkened apartment. "Bender?" He asked cautiously as he found the door open. "You in here?"
"Yeah," Remarked the robot from the corner of the room. He was seated on the floor of the closet, staring out at the bright lights of New, New York.
Fry immediately ran over. "Bender, Bender! What's wrong? Are you actually being melancholy!?"
"How do you even know that word?" The robot asked blankly before pulling himself to his feet and clapping metal hands on Fry's shoulders. "Nah, listen, meatbag, it's nothing. I'm good."
"Okay…" Fry didn't seem convinced.
Bender patted his shoulder in consolation. "I'll be out late tonight. Don't expect me back until morning. And don't lock me out!"
"Where are you going?"
Something like a smile twisted on Bender's mouth-guard. "I'm going to Robot Hell."