Chapter 12

"What now, Walter?" Landry asked, reclining in his chair. The aforementioned sergeant peeked hesitantly peeked around the corner. "If Colonel Mitchell was here, I'm sure you would have heard it in the control room," he added dryly.

Walter laughed sheepishly and came in. He swallowed nervously and began sputtering out a bunch of ahs, ums, ers, and sirs.

"Slow it down, Walter, and spit it out. I can't make heads or tails of what you're saying."

"Ah, well, sir…some of the other technicians and I were talking amongst ourselves. We, um, ah—" He froze, catching himself. "We've been wondering exactly what it was that happened off world with SG-1. All of us know it wasn't good, but they're so tight-lipped about it, and then Colonel Carter just left without any warning."

"You don't wanna know," Landry sighed heavily. "And even if you did, it's top secret. As for why Colonel Carter left, she didn't get around to writing a report and her teammates are adamant she barely spoke when she got back. Whatever happened is between her and that planet." Walter shifted nervously, looking like he wanted to say something. "Yes?"

"What about her team?"

"What about her team?" Landry pressed. He had an idea about where the conversation was headed, but he wanted Walter to ask a straight question first.

"Well, th-they…I guess I was interested in an exclamation for their behavior." At Landry's inquiring stare, he went on, "What I mean is…was what happened really so bad? When they came back the second time, Colonel Mitchell looked a little like Colonel Carter did after the first mission. Doctor Jackson looked like someone had just died, not to mention Vala was almost in tears."

"Unfortunately, there's not much that can remedy what happened, Walter, and there's no denying what happened was bad. But the order came straight from the president himself." Landry conveniently left out the fact that he only agreed to the order because of blackmail against his family. The two colonels had found themselves in similar positions.

"Surely the president wouldn't order something so bad that Colonel Carter would have to leave!" Walter protested.

Landry slowly sat up, wishing he could tell Walter exactly what was going on in that oval office. He and SG-1 had agreed that most of what they knew was best kept quiet. By now, though, the entire base knew that something had changed in D.C. but the general and SG-1 weren't saying much. "Are you sure?" he asked, deciding it was a safe enough answer.

Walter opened his mouth, but couldn't think of a response. He shut it again and blinked quizzically at Landry instead. "What's going on, sir?"

"When I find the answer, Walter, everyone will know."

- x –X - x -

Cam exited the elevators and strode purposely toward Landry's office door. However, when he put his hand on the knob, something made him hesitate. He began to wonder why he even tried anymore. What was the point of bothering Landry? The general had promised to make Cam the first to know if Sam had been found after all.

Besides, it sounded like Landry had company anyway.

With a sigh, Cam retreated back to Sam's lab as fast as he could manage. It was empty, so he invited himself in and locked the door.

Nothing was making sense to him anymore. He felt like he was drowning in a mass of confusion.

Not the least of which was the puzzle of Teal'c. Since before the first unforgivable mission, Teal'c had been acting strange. It wasn't in any immediately obvious ways, but became noticeable after a period of time. It was difficult for Cam to think it out, but the sense of wrongness was still lodged in his gut. The feeling came when Teal'c spoke—the wording was just a little abnormal—or if he got a simple fact just slightly wrong. At first, Cam put it down to the guilt he knew Jackson, Vala, and definitely Sam had felt. But the whole thing had been going on too long and Cam was worried. What was wrong with his Jaffa friend?

He also couldn't get past how callous and apathetic Jackson and Vala were starting to be about Sam. He was often told he needed to let go because Sam wasn't going to be found unless she wanted to be. Only more subtly. And with a little impatience.

They both had simply seemed to have forgotten all about the old camaraderie.

Every time SG-1 went into the briefing room, he felt a horrible tension descend upon them all, as they awaited the next assignment. All four of them just waiting for the day when they would have to go on another mission to kill dozens of innocent people.

His brow wrinkled as a thought wormed its way to the fore of his mind. Why had they done it? Killed all those people. SG-1 used to have a track record for knowing when to disobey orders they knew were morally wrong. What was so different about the orders they received from Barrett?

Then there was still the question of what happened to siphon the life from Sam. What made her flinch from the very sight of those closest to her?

Cam rubbed his eyes and sighed heavily. Ever since Barrett took over, it was a domino effect. One thing after another kept going wrong and forcing to overstep his equilibrium.

His world was unraveling at its heart and he was clueless on how to stop it.

- x – X – x –

Captain Patrick Kerry walked steadily down the hall, marveling at how easily his presence made people immediately hug the wall to avoid him.

Even though he was not a small man, he knew it wasn't him everyone sidestepped.

His brows drew together in annoyance. He wished Barrett would get on with his damn plan so Kerry could see his own face whenever he looked in the mirror. Unfortunately, as Barrett constantly reminded him, other things had to fall into place before the next step in their plan could commence.

Rounding a corner, he caught sight of Colonel Mitchell's retreating back as he rushed for the elevator. Kerry rolled his eyes. The idiot had probably just been in Landry's office to check for information on his lost teammate. It was pathetic the way he kept pining after a memory. Carter was gone and it was doubtful she would ever return.

He paused at Landry's office door. He heard one voice talking, stopping every so often. Good. Landry was on the phone. Maybe Barrett was calling in with Step Two? Collecting himself, he went in as Landry was hanging up his red phone. The general was looking a bit sick.

Kerry closed the door and stood before Landry's desk, hands behind his back, an eyebrow raised in questioning.

Landry took a moment to close his eyes. When he opened them, they met Kerry's face steadily. "I think," he said, resigned, "that it's time to call SG-1 in for another briefing."

"The news does not sound pleasant," Kerry ventured. It was hard to keep the hopefulness out of his voice. It was beginning to look like Barrett had indeed called in Step Two.

- x - X - x –

Sam's phone rang, jerking Cam briefly out of his dismal thoughts. "Ah, hello?" he said, putting it to his ear.

"Hey, Mitchell."

"Jackson. What's up?"

"Landry wants us in the briefing room. He didn't sound happy."

"Not good," conceded Cam, wondering what had happened now. Was it possible he'd received bad news about Sam? His heart thudded painfully. He prayed his second-in-command has alright and that this wasn't about her. "Alright," he said, keeping his voice neutral. "I'll be there in a few minutes."

- oOoOoOo -

Everyone was quietly seated around the table when Cam arrived. He took his own seat next to Jackson and watched Landry expectantly. "What's going on?" he asked.

"I just received orders from Washington," began Landry reluctantly. Cam's stomach dropped. He already knew what the new orders would be. "SG-1 is to travel to P4X-395 and test—"

"I don't think so," Cam snapped.

"I'm sorry, colonel, but what the president says, goes."

"This mission is three too many," Cam vehemently spat. "I'm tired of-of wiping people out who've done absolutely nothing wrong." Inspiration struck him. "What if I spoke to the president about this? Not just over the phone. I want to find out what's really going on in Washington."

"I do not believe that is a prudent course of action, Colonel Mitchell," interjected Teal'c.

"Well, I don't believe it's prudent to kill a bunch of innocent human beings who've done absolutely nothing to us."

"I think Teal'c has a point," Jackson murmured regretfully.

"Not you too—"

"Hear me out, Cam," pleaded Jackson. "We don't know what's in Washington. It's probably very dangerous to go waltzing in and contradicting the most powerful man in the country. Barrett isn't going to let us get away with that without some sort of retaliation."

"Whoa, whoa, wait a sec. You're telling me you'd rather go around murdering other human beings than contracting the man who gave you the order in the first place," Cam blinked incredulously.

"I didn't exactly say that," Jackson backtracked.

"You as good as." Cam was shocked. When he read the reports, Jackson was more often than not the voice of reason in a military world of shoot first, ask later. When did he take on the violent mantle? Things like this were making his world come apart just that much faster.

He hadn't signed up for this. He hadn't taken control of SG-1 to lead them all on missions to exterminate the inhabitants of other planets. The whole thing was becoming ridiculous.

With a groan, he put his head in his hands. "What's happening to us?" he murmured.

"I agree with Cameron."

Cam blinked and looked up across the table at Vala.

She gave him a watery smile. "I for one am tired of killing. We're becoming no better than the Goa'uld…and the Ori. Any leader who becomes weak enough to listen to the whispers of another is no leader at all. We need to do something to end this. I don't think I can take much more before I have to up and leave, too." She grimaced. "I joined you people because I thought I would finally have a chance to do some good for this galaxy. I was tired of hurting those around me and the SGC gave a…oh, I don't know…a sort of second try. I could actually help people. But now…." She drifted off, plainly upset.

Cam felt hope start to flicker in his heart as he recognized his own reasoning embedded in Vala's speech.

He twiddled his fingers under the table as silence descended in the briefing room. Would Landry postpone the mission? Cam wasn't sure he would be able to go through with it if Landry didn't.

"I'm sorry," the general finally said, his voice husky with remorse. Cam glanced around the table. Vala's eyes were closed as she struggled to pull herself together. Jackson was merely frozen with indecision. But it was Teal'c's reaction that perplexed Cam. The Jaffa's eyes flashed with emotion that Cam couldn't place, but wasn't anger or sadness. He frowned slightly as Landry finished, "I can't let you go to Washington, nor can I postpone the mission without serious consequences. I need you four ready to go by 0800 tomorrow."

Cam didn't say anything, but merely shook his head slightly and left. As he saw it, there were three courses of action.

One, he could go through with the mission and wound himself even more deeply than he was now. This aspect wasn't appealing, since the whole idea made him nauseated.

Two, he could go home and ignore the order. From there, he could either face punishment, or he could leave the SGC behind for good. Cam didn't feel that going home was the best course of action, but leaving would definitely be on his list when the time came.

Three, he could covertly go to Washington against his leader's orders. Somehow, he knew this was what he had to do. Something in the capital called him. It was hard to ignore, now that the idea was in his mind.

He was in the middle of wondering if he should involve the team or go solo when he suddenly recognized the look he'd seen in Teal'c's eyes. The revelation filled him was a sickening dread and made his stomach clench in horror.

There was no way. Absolutely no way he could be right. Teal'c wasn't that kind of person. And yet Cam was sure of what he'd seen. He leaned against the wall shaking his head in denial, feeling the last threads of his world falling apart.

The look he'd seen was triumphant glee.

Oh my! What could this mean? Talk about a plot twist.

Oh, and here's something slightly off topic (only slightly):

I initially had my own plans about Sam and if she'd end up with somebody, and who. But it seems my particular selection hasn't even been thought of by readers. Then again, the story hasn't exactly gone in the direction I'd planned, either.

I guess I just want to know who you think she should end up with, so I can work it in if I have to. If not, you'll just have to live with whoever it is and not complain…much.

R&R