DISCLAIMER EXTRAORDINAIRE: HI. I DON'T OWN NARUTO. SO PLEASE, NO SCARY INSULTS PURDY PLEASE.
LISTS
Chapter 1: why i hate swimming pools
There are fifteen reasons why I hate going to the pool:
1. There is always a hoard of rugrats in the shallow end yelling and screaming and just generally germ-ing up the water on the shallow end. So basically if you want to swim then have fun swimming in snot and saliva.
2. There are those stupid guys who think they're all hot and bothered so they flirt ever so noticeably with the lifeguards.
3. All the lifeguards are female, foreign exchange students which
4. Takes away from my wanting of hot, male lifeguard eye-candy.
5. All these stupid lifeguards try really hard to make friends with you because you are feminine and in their age demographic. Even if all you want to do is sit there and read a very interesting book.
6. The very interesting book that you were enjoying quite thoroughly has suddenly been thrown, along with yourself, into the pool by your very obnoxious, and muscular, neighbor.
7. Neighbor then laughs at you along with the stupid foreign exchange female lifeguards because neighbor is extremely sexy.
8. You then have to chuck the extremely soggy, and ruined, novel at sexy neighbor's face and manage to hit one of those hot and bothered ugly, flirty guys.
9. HBUFG (Hot Bothered Ugly Flirting Guys) immediately think that you're hitting on them, literally, and start jumping in the pool with you.
10. Neighbor finally gets to his senses and pulls you out before one of the HBUFG can feel you up. He is after all, very protective of you.
11. You start screaming at Neighbor and include several bad expletives in the mix, and after he only smirks at you, resort to bitch-slapping.
12. Parents of the snotting rugrats decide to have you and Neighbor kicked out of pool for the rest of the summer because you are, according to them, corrupting the innocent minds of the snot-faced rugrats.
13. Neighbor pulls you out the vicinity before you are able to murder everyone on the premises.
14. You knee Neighbor in groin for ruining the book you were reading and
15. Losing your only recreational area for the rest of the summer.
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"You are really a bastard you know that?" I was mad. I was beyond mad. There isn't even a word to describe how mad I was.
The stupid guy just looked up at the sky with a stupid smirk on his face.
"You are SO going to buy me a new book you hear?!"
Still no answer. Then I realized he was looking at, dare I say it, my body. This stupid piece of sexy lard was staring at my still wet form.
I snarled at him,
"Do not subject me to any of your misogynistic ways mister," I scowled at him as I prodded his chest with my finger, "I am not a piece of fruit. And unless you want to turn out like one of those idiots over there," I pointed to the HBUFG's, "I would suggest going out and buying me another copy of this book!"
He was still staring.
I crossed my arms over my chest and screamed at him,
"YOU GODDAMN IDIOT! GO GET ME A TOWEL BECAUSE I'M COLD AND YOU'RE MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE!"
Right as I uttered those words, a little boy, one of those stupid rugrats probably, came up behind me and said,
"Why is your hair the same color as when my sister accidentally got bubble gum stuck in her hair?"
Because, little boy, when two people really love each other, but then one of them eats way too many strawberries…
I was cut off by a towel dropping onto my head and a soft chuckle ringing in my ears, but when I finally mustered the energy to pull the towel off my head, the filthy bastard was no where to be found. Then the HBUFG's decided to take the absence of my supposed guardian to their advantage and they started advancing towards me. One of these guys was especially forward, to say the least.
"OH SWEET SAKURA, MY LOVE FOR BURNS MORE BRIGHTLY THAN THE SUN REFLECTING OFF OF YOUR NEIGHBOR'S ALBINO SKIN! PLEASE, GO ON A DATE TO THE SPLENDIFOROUS…alJFIEsjaflkdjfa"
His rant was cut short by the Neighbor kindly punching him in the stomach. I chuckled, albino skin OUCH. The very forward HBUFG sputtered a bit, but continued on with his rant.
"OUR LOVE WILL FACE MANY TRIALS MY DARLING BLOSSOM, BUT TRUE LOVE ALWAYS PREVAILS!"
Now I was mad. Not only was this guy completely psycho, but he just named me after a powerpuff girl. I felt my face turning red.
"BLOSSOM?! WHO ARE YOU ANYWAYS?! I HAVE A NAME YOU KNOW!! AND SPLENDIFOROUS IS NOT A FRIKIN WORD!"
The HBUFG stepped backward a couple of meters,
"Oh yes...my Sakura, I forgot to introduce myself. I am the GREAT GREEN BEAST…LEE!"
No way. I looked towards the Neighbor and he was also trying very unsuccessfully to hold back a smile. The Neighbor never smiled. I was really scared now. So I did the only rational thing I could do, I hopped into my car and drove away. Really fast.
"Hello Sakura."
"AHHH!!" I slammed on the brake so hard that I nearly activated my airbag.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY CAR?!"
"I wanted to get away from the GREAT GREEN BEAST, and apparently my albino skin is too glittery in the sunlight."
I laughed. But then I remembered who had started all the trouble in the first place. I turned back towards my passenger, and put on a chesire cat grin.
"Sakura…."
"Yes," I purred.
"You're scaring me," he muttered ever so sarcastically.
"YOU OWE ME SO BAD YOU LITTLE BASTARD!! I WANT MY BOOK BACK AND MY SANITY AND A BODYGUARD TO GET ME AWAY FROM THAT STUPID GREEN BEAST!!"
The stupid guy just looked at me as I hurriedly shoved the car into drive and sped out onto the street.
"Where are you going Sakura?"
"You're buying me ice cream, Uchiha Sasuke."
A/N: Yah. I know they are very OOC, but this is AU. I'm exploring the other side of their personalities. I hope. Reviews are lovely. This is my first fanfic so please don't eat my head. I don't know what to put here except for hurried apologies because this is short. Only because I have 11 minutes of battery left on my laptop. I'll update soon...hopefully.