Susan's Fear

I awoke to the phone ringing in my ear. "Hello?" I said in a groggy voice.

"Susan! It's Violet. Have you heard the news?" She said.

"No, I was at a party until late. Why? What happened?" I asked.

"Two trains collided at the London train station. I guess thirty people were killed. Isn't that so sad?" She answered.

"What? Do you know which trains?"

"No, I don't know any details. I just heard about it from Hannah. Hey... she mentioned that you were going out with James. You're so lucky! He is drop-dead handsome! Are you still going out with him?"

"Uh…no we broke up. Listen I have to go." I said and then hung up the phone.

I walked over to the radio and switched it on. It seemed like it was taking forever to get to the train accident. Finally, they started talking about the collision.

"Two trains collided at London's main train station earlier this morning. A train arriving from the south of England collided with a train about to pull out for Bristol. Thirty people died and the death toll is still rising. Many other people are injured. Investigators are not sure if it was a scheduling problem or if it was caused by a communication problem. The names of the ones that died have not been released. In other news: the Queen…" The radio announcer said.

I turned the radio off and collapsed into a chair. Mum and Dad were supposed to be going to Bristol this morning. I thought. Are they all right? Did they die? Are they hurt? I started panicking. What if they are? What will happen to me? You know what? I'm being silly. Of course they are all right! I bet they will call in a few minuets to say they are fine. I got up and started getting ready. I was putting on my lipstick when the phone rang again. I ran to pick up the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Hey Susan! It's Elisabeth. I know I have not called you for ages, but I just had this feeling that God wanted me to call you this morning. How are you?" Elisabeth said.

"Um…I'm fine, but I'm waiting for a call so can I call you back later?" I replied. I had always felt uncomfortable talking to her because she was 'religious'.

"That's fine. I just wanted to see if you were alright. I'll talk to you later." She answered.

"Bye." I said and quickly hanging up the phone, hoping it would ring the next second. Silence hung in the air. Come on Mum. Call! I thought as I headed back to the bathroom to finish my make-up.

Later, I sighed and flopped into my favorite chair with a cup of hot tea. I picked up the romance novel I had just bought and tried to distract myself by reading. After a while I got restless and couldn't concentrate on the story. I'm not giving in. My mum and dad are fine. They probably can't find a phone. I told myself as I yawned. I slowly drifted off to sleep.

RRRIINGGG!! I jumped up. Startled from my sleep, I grabbed the phone.

"Hello?" I asked eagerly.

"Hi Su! It's Thomas." He said.

"Hey! How are you?" I asked. At least my boyfriend cares enough to call! I thought.

"I'm great! I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight?"

"Uh…let me check my calendar.' I said walking over to the wall, 'Yeah. I'm free tonight."

"Great! I'll pick you up at about seven. Is that Ok?" He asked.

"That's fine. I'll see you then!" I replied with a smile.

As I hung up the phone all my fears came back. They never seemed to be there when I talked to my boyfriends. Thomas reminds me of how Peter used to be protective of us younger ones. Ever since we had that big fight about God being real or not, we seem to be farther apart. I remembered. He asked forgiveness, but I wouldn't accept his apology. I'm going to call him and try to find out about mum and dad. Then I'll ask and see if he will forgive me for being so mean.

I dialed his number and waited. It just kept ringing. Finally, I hung up and decided to call Edmund and see what was up. He didn't answer either.

I'm not calling Lucy. She'll never forgive me for being so bossy! I thought. I'm going crazy over mum and dad. I'll just plead with her and try to talk her into telling me about them. Dialing the number slowly I tried to figure out what to say. I put the receiver up to my ear and it started ringing. She did not answer. Exasperated, I slammed the phone down.

"Fine! If you want to be that way go ahead and be that way!" I yelled. "If all of you don't care about me fine! I don't care!" Tears started streaming down my face from the feelings that had built up over the years. Why does everyone in my family hate me? I tried so hard to be a good little daughter and sister. Of course Lucy is always more loving and seems never to get in a fight with mum or Peter. I might have been the prettier one in the family, but Lucy is a goody little two shoes. I've always wanted to be like that. It's not fair that she can be happy all the time even if she's going though a rough time. How can she be like that? I thought crying until I could cry no more. I was overwhelmed by all the thoughts rushing to my head. I was so exhausted that I laid down in my bed and fell fast asleep.

A knock on the door awoke me. I walked down the hall and glanced at the clock. Seven O'clock. Oh great! Thomas was supposed to pick me up at seven. I remembered. I drew back the bolt on my apartment door and opened it.

"Susan. Are you rea…what's the matter?" He asked looking worried, "Are you sick?"

"No. I'm Ok. I have to cancel our date tonight." I said feeling embarrassed that my make-up had smeared and my hair was tangled.

"Why?" He asked again.

"Look at me! Do I look ready to you?" I answered hotly. Men never understand do they?

"I'll wait a few minuets if you want get hurry and get ready."

"Thomas. It takes me hours to get ready!" I snapped at him.

"I think you're very pretty even if you are not ready." He comforted.

"I don't care! I will not go out with you anymore. That's final!" I shouted slamming the door on his face.

"Fine! You will never get a date with me again." He yelled back though the door.

This is just a nightmare. I'm going to wake up any moment. I'll just go to bed and wake up and everything will be fine. I thought getting ready for bed. I hopped into bed and quickly fell asleep.