Title: What if 4Kids dubbed Matantei Loki: RAGNAROK?

Pairing: Odin x Loki, Heimdall x Loki ((Humor Only))

Disclaimer: 魔探偵ロキRAGNAROK, is not mine, but this crack is. Please no stealing, okay?

Rating: T

Well, after my Death Note fanfic, I decided to write one more story for MLR before I decide to continue on A N G E L C O O K I E M I X. Don't worry, it'll be up soon everyone!

Again, this story is pure and total crack. ((There will also be a Tactics and Princess Princess version as well.))

--START--

Yamino was out in the front of Enjaku, sweeping away at the golden and red leaves. Fall was a pleasant time of year for everyone at the agency. People must have thought it was getting too cold to try to assassinate Loki, so they simply sat at home drinking cider. Personally, the serpent didn't mind at all.

When he was about to walk back inside, the bushes rustled. He quickly turned to see a man and woman, the woman having blonde hair and blue eyes and the man having brown hair with hazel eyes. Both wore matching suits, the girl wearing a pencil skirt instead of pants. Under their black jackets were pink satin shirts with rainbow nametags. The mans read, "Mr. Happy Rainbow" and the girl's name was, "Miss Yummy Cupcakes."

Yamino blinked. "Can I help you?"

They glanced at each other and raced to the serpent, showing him their tags. "We're the officials from 4Kids!"

"4Kids?" Yamino cocked his head. "Well…that's nice to know. I'll get back to you later…" Yamino trailed off, slowly turning towards the door. The man stopped him. "What's your name, may I ask?"

Yamino held his broom close, ready to use it as a weapon any second. "Ryuusuke…Yamino?"

Miss Yummy Cupcakes took out a Hello Kitty notebook and scribbled it down neatly, then looked at him and smiled. "Alright then. Now your name is Allen Underhill."

"What?' Yamino asked, now very scared of the strangers around him. "Loki-sama, scary people are here!"

Loki ran to the front of the detective agency, emerald eyes flashing blood red. "Yamino-kun! What—"

He looked to Miss Yummy Cupcakes and Mr. Happy Rainbows. "And who are they?"

Mr. Happy Rainbows looked to his female twin and pointed. "He's Loki, and he's a Norse god!"

"Fudge, that means we can't change his name," she cried pathetically. "How disappointing…"

Loki crossed his arms and stopped his foot. "Who are you?"

"They say they're from 4Kids…" Yamino said meekly, trying to hide himself from the scary duet. Loki blinked. "4Kids? That children's anime dubbing group that screwed up Tokyo Mew Mew and Magical DoReMi?"

They smiled. "That's right," They both said confidently, the woman twirling on her heels and flipping her hair. "My name is Miss Yummy Cupcakes!"

The man touched his cheek seductively and walked over to Loki, smiling sweetly. "And I'm Mr. Happy Rainbows!" He magically put his hand behind his back and pulled out a bouquet of blue, yellow, pink, orange, and purple daisies. "You are quite a lovely young man…"

Loki blushed. "Well…I…"

"May we please change your gender to a female?"

"…" A vein pulsed from Loki's neck and cheek, his cheeks reddening even more.

"You have no right to insult Loki-sama like that!" Yamino snapped, hissing in anger at the duet. They two simply giggled and began to walk away. "Bye Allen Underhill!"

"What the fuck did you just call my son?" Loki asked, stomping his foot again. His hand flew to his hip and he swayed his hips to the side in a girly gesture, like an expecting wife. "I want you to take that back."

Miss Yummy Cupcakes swayed and cooed in delight as she looked back at the ginger haired trickster, hands to both of her cheeks. "Ah…what a cute girl you would make!"

"I'll slit your stomach and eat your blood slicked entrails, bitch," she growled, eyes turning red. "Now leave him alone you BEEP!"

Yamino looked at him, perplexed. "What does BEEP mean…didn't you mean to say something like BEEP?"

Mr. Happy Rainbows smile turned into a smug smirk as he held out a contract. "You see, when Katy signed the contract, you gave us a censorship right."

The blonde woman shook her finger in their faces, waving it in a windshield wiper motion. "There will be no cussing in front of our audiences, Low key!"

A pause.

"MY NAME IS LOKI, NOT LOW KEY!!" He screamed, snatching the contract from the woman and holding it in front of his face, eyes scanning the page. "And who is this Katy that signed for us?" he asked. On a dotted line at the bottom of the page, in neat katakana, was the name Katy Gates.

"Katy Gates?" Loki exclaimed in wonder, curiosity reaching its peak. He could only imagine who this woman was. Was it one of his friends who had already had their name changed…? Or was it some other girl from 4Kids or ADV Films that signed? "Who is she," Yamino asked the man. "Please tell us. We would like to discuss this with them."

Daidouji Mayura walked in, whistling and her wavy pink hair rolled over the air as she bounced and bounced towards the group.

"Hi Low key! Any, like, radical cases for us to solve?"

Radical?

"Mayuuuura," he said, his tone of voice showing a sheer layer of annoyance. He motioned with his hand for the girl to come over and look at the paper he held in his hands. She obeyed, and he pointed to the line. "Would you happen to be Katy Gates?" She smiled at the question and quickly posed, a sparkly blue backdrop placed behind her. "Yes I am Low Key, your awesome assistant!"

Yamino began to sulk. "Oh dear…"

Loki, out of rage, began to summon his magic wand and place his Vellamonche spell on the duet. They both smiled perfect, pink lip-gloss smiles. Loki was hesitant, seeing as how cocky they were, but continued the summoning. "Now, come to me—"

In an orange poof of smoke, a pink scepter appeared in his hands. Instead of a moon at the top, a pink heart with a star-shaped hole in the center and rainbow flashing lights around the star was the crowning piece of the long rod, two cute wings branching out from either side of the heart. The rod had silver stripes down long stick part and had a tiny silver ring border around the end piece of the scepter. Loki stood appalled and threw the heart scepter down on the ground. "What the BEEP is going on?"

"Well, are you going to cast your spell or what? We're waiting for your attack. Or, would you just let 4Kids dub your show without this huge fight scene. Make sure you don't make it bloody either, or our poor editors will have to take the time to edit that out…" the hazel-eyed man muttered, hoping that provoking Loki would unleash a very amusing performance. Very amusing.

"Well? Just say Dazzling Love Hyper and the wand will activate."

Mayura raised her hand. "What is a Dazzling Love Hyper?"

"You just want him to say that because you know something bad will happen as soon as he does! Well, Loki-sama won't fall for it, will you?" Yamino asked, turning to his loyal father. Loki nodded. "Yeah, I won't say it! I'm not that dumb you two."

Mr. Happy Rainbows and Miss Yummy Cupcakes looked at each other, the blonde female turning to him. "I'm afraid that won't do Low key," she sneered as she removed a remote from her pocket. "But we plan ahead when characters don't cooperate." She pressed a single star-shaped button and began to watch. Mayura blinked and looked over to see Loki completely enveloped by rainbow bubbles. "What the—LOKI!"

DAZZLING LOVE HYPER!

A flash blinded everyone in the group around the trickster.

After a thirty-second transformation, a girl with ginger pigtails and green eyes the size of dinner plates took shape. Two calico cat ears popped from Loki's head, then a frilly maid's outfit (main dress black, frills pink) custom-fitted itself to Loki's figure magically. Pink tights and black heels also joined the outfit when finally, a huge, fluffy cat tail swished back and forth around the dress. Yamino and Mayura watched, eyes glowing in horror and astonishment. The 4Kids duet simply looked at each other, extremely satisfied.

"WHAT THE BEEP HAVE YOU DONE TO ME YOU BEEP BEEP!

The trickster had long hair, boobs, a dress on, and a girly voice.

He was totally one-hundred-percent female.

"You really switched my gender! I'll kill you!" Loki wailed, pointing his wand at them. "As soon as I cast a spell, you'll be dead!"

Mayura looked at Magical Girl Low key and put some hair behind her ear. "I don't think they'll tell you…"

"I know that, idiot! I can still smack them and you hard with this piece of crap!"

Miss Yummy Cupcakes looked at her nails critically and rolled her eyes. "When will they ever learn the power of friendship," she asked, Mr. Happy Rainbows shrugging and taking out a magazine to read and letting Yamino and Mayura spazz.

However, more trouble was to come. Heimdall and Freyr were just down the road, walking right towards Enjaku.

--END--

R&R please?