Disclaimer: I own nothing but my angsty mind D:
Loves Beginning
Plot: Even in death would I love you despite how in life I never had a chance. Things don't make sense for us, not even this broken little love. Tezuka, I love you. Perfect Pair
Tezuka Kunimitsu, would you learn to love?
Sitting by himself on the rooftop of Seishun Gakuen Fuji Syuusuke was wrapped in his thoughts a pleasant smile upon his delicate features. Honey brown hair was swept back and forth with the wind, occasionally falling into his face, and covering his already closed eyes while his crisp uniform hugged his lithe slightly girlish frame. The top few buttons of his shirt were undone in an attempt to cool down slightly from the heat of the day revealing a hint of his creamy pale skin.
Only one thing, one person, was in his thoughts, plagued them even, despite how pleasant the tensai looked to anyone who could be fooled by his smile. The stoic buchou of Seigaku's tennis team consumed him as he faced the fence that surrounded the rooftop and over looked the campus. Silently thinking to himself about things that he could never make true even with all of his genius capability and talent. Too bad his tennis skills were seemingly useless in accomplishing what he wanted and for once the tensai couldn't just have his way.
Campus was deserted since school had ended hours before, all club activities were over for the day, and no one but Fuji was there anymore. They had all gone home to there families to have dinner and doing what Fuji should be. That didn't matter though since it was better that no one was around anymore for it meant no one could bother him. He didn't have any such desire to go home for the night, have a nice dinner with his family, and start the next day as always. There wouldn't be a need to reinforce his failing mask of pleasantness, to fool someone into thinking he was just fine. If there was one thing that the honey haired tensai was sick of the most it was faking happiness.
Lightly brushing a hand under his chin his fingers curled into a light grip forming his familiar pose that many assumed to be one of thought. As unreadable as ever he was eternally glad that his closed eyes further helped to conceal his thoughts and emotions. It made everything easier if everyone just believed what he wanted them to, not what really was. No one was around to attempt to read his thoughts anyways but still his eyes remained closed.
It was peaceful up on the roof with the wind blowing almost comfortingly against him and the setting of the slowly dying sun as it began its progression to the other side of the world. What he liked the most was the silence, the time to think without distraction, and how he was utterly alone with himself to be able to do as he chose. There would be no questions to bother him, noise to distract his train of thought, and most of all no Tezuka Kunimitsu to make everything more complicated.
Nothing would stop me from giving you my heart.
How stupid was the third year for giving into principals he himself disagreed with? Always had he been unpredictable but this was something he hadn't ever planned, had the inkling of it happening, but that was exactly how the worst things happened. Or perhaps the best, he hadn't quite decided if the unpredicted situation he was in was bad or good. All he knew was he was in it and there was no turning back from the point at which he unknowingly started down his path. At which Fuji Syuusuke started to love Seigaku's buchou.
Leaning against the back of the side of the roof a soft smile tugged at his lips playing with the edges until it all but faded with the wind. Removing his hand from under his chin the same hand lowered to rest upon his thigh, arms moving in graceful movements as always. There was nothing left for him to do up on the roof besides sit and think, decide if he really was going to go through with what he wanted, and to reflect. For someone who spoke very little unless it was to keep up his masks he had a lot to think about for Fuji often ended up living in his mind more then anywhere else.
Parting his lips slightly to exhale a small puff of breath that could be considered a sigh the middle Fuji child whispered his trademark 'saa..' to himself. How Tezuka had ever rejected him was a mystery to all of their fangirls but there was no doubt in his own mind as to why. He had always known that Tezuka wasn't one to replicate such a thing as the feelings he had developed for him. That there was no way that his friend and teammate would ever do something that would risk the teams bond with one another. In all ways Tezuka wasn't selfish enough to ever have something for himself, do something just for himself, or feel the dammed emotions that the tensai had discovered.
But Fuji was selfish, incredibly selfish, so much that it almost hurt and he was also not. The tensai too would not endanger the team or his friendship with his buchou. A friendship he had worked long and hard to achieve with someone as antisocial as the other. It was almost funny to think that the two had become friends in the first place what with there conflicting personalities.
Maintaining his blank mask as the wind seemed to play with his hair his never faltering smile reformed upon his lips. Yet the twist of his lips upwards seemed slightly sardonic and contradicting to itself to anyone who would look closely. It was almost time for a decision to be made, only a few minutes more, one of importance that had been debated for quite some time. Something that the proclaimed genius could never quite justify either choice or either end for that matter and would not choose until he was sure. A test perhaps of his own resolve, accurately his opinion of himself, which would not be taken lightly.
Even if logic predicted you would shatter it into a million pieces
Sliding his hand from its resting place upon his hip the honey haired male lifted himself to stand his lips twisting ever upwards in the forced smile. Lifting his hands to lightly brush off bits of dirt from his uniform he hummed softly to himself as his thoughts continued to wander. Memories upon memories passed through his mind, all of them ones he cherished, as echoes of those times seemed to haunt him. 'Haunted' was a good word to describe how Fuji felt whenever his own mind seemed to betray him but there was no changing what was, he had learned that the hard way.
Dislodging his foot from its place on the rooftop to move foreword a step or two he placed himself in front of the fence that guarded the edge. The barrier that kept him from harms way. Sliding his long slender fingers to interlock around the hexagonal shapes in the wire the edges of his lips slackened if only for a moment.
"You were right of course Tezuka," he spoke quietly to himself letting his voice carry on the wind a touch of dejection lining his tone. There was no doubt within him that his words were false, he never would lie to himself, the small third year felt a laugh build in his throat. Of course the stoic man was right he had never been wrong since Fuji had known him so it was ridiculous to think of him as being wrong. Time always did tell more then thoughts ever did, proved even as he stood there.
Flexing his finger a bit his grip tightened a fraction while a soft frown tugged at his lips. They said frowning took more energy then to smile but for him it was the opposite. A smile took more from him then a frown ever did; like his lips were reminding him of his fakeness. Giving up his mask for a moment his lips fell with ease into a hardly seen frown as his eyebrows dipped lower into an almost scowl. Gods how it felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders when he frowned for once showing how he really felt. But still his eyes would remain tightly closed in habit of hiding his azure hues from the world around him.
Brow furrowing in thought the tensai had already forgotten that he had spoken at all, it mattered little anyways, and his grip upon the fence loosened. Still he hadn't reached a full decision but that was fine as time was ticking by slowly so the need to rush was not there. Releasing his grip entirely from the fence he slowly brought it back to his side, resting lightly against his hip. Prolonging seemed unfit for himself and with another puff of breath that resembled a sigh he leaned his forehead against the barrier from him and the edge.
For I would never regret loving you
Resting against the wire linked fence the small laugh built up in his throat was released coming from his lips softly only to gain volume. Yet as the ironic noise began to die from his vocal chords the salty liquid built within his closed lids. "You were always right, ne? Always..." his soft voice broke free from his lips and slowly died with his laugh. And from behind his closed lids the shameful drop of salt water slipped down his cheek for a mere moment. Letting the tear slip down his delicate skin the third year lifted his head from the fence stubbornly keeping his eyelids closed even still.
Both of his hands replaced themselves upon the wire fence their grip stronger then before near desperately so. Now a decision was made, the final one that day, and nothing would deter the forever sudden teen from accomplishing it. He had failed before yet this time that would not happen, he would not let it anymore. With strength built from years of tennis his hands one at a time rose among the hexagonal shapes to pull his small body higher.
Up and up, higher and higher, upon the fence did he rise as his hands with the help of his feet climbed his obstacle. Stopping only when he reached the top his too long hair for a boy fell within his eyes only to be ignored. Turning his body onto the other side the same progression happened but backwards on the other side of the no longer barrier of a fence. Soft frown still etched upon his lips it was apparent that concentration was the only thing Fuji allowed into his thoughts.
Feet softly landing onto his goal, the edge of the rooftop, his tennis shoes squeaked softly with the sudden disentanglement from the fence. Absently glad of reaching his destination the unusual frown formed back into the once more fake smile as once more he brushed off his clothing. Nodding softly to himself in signal that it was time did the lithe individual take a step back letting his heels perch dangerously. Now was time to fulfill his plan, now he was finally ready.
Preparing himself for further movement a creak from the door to the roof snapped him out of his concentration just as he took that final step. Snapping his head towards the sound his eye lids fluttered open revealing at last his azure eyes catching site of far familiar clear no rimmed glasses. Yet the ledge was no longer beneath his body and falling through the air a soft, real, smile lit up the tensai's face.
Fuji Syuusuke kept his eyes open as he fell his smile lifting as the last thing he saw was Tezuka...
Until the day I died
A/N: ...Um wow that was rather angsty wasn't it? Can't believe myself that I wrote this but for anyone who likes this it isn't over yet. There will be more chapters each in different point of views from various people and filled with flashbacks that further tell the story. Review please if you liked it :D