A/N: Watch out, this one's AU. I was laughing at those '7 min in heaven with the Naruto Characters' things that seem to be all over the internet. Especially with the Akatsuki, I mean, dude! First of all, what the hell are they doing in the same room as the 'good guys' without a giant battle? And how are Sasuke and Itachi not at each other's throats? And when one of them is shoved into a closet with a crazed, test taking fangirl, what are the odds that the chicks gonna get kissed? My bets on her ending up dead. I just couldn't believe how stupid it was (even though I myself have taken those tests – and laughed my head off!) so I decided to write my own version of what happened in one of them… I've got some random comments scattered throughout this, so I'll just put numbers in their place, and you can scroll down if you want to see whatever it is I felt needed to be said.

You (I'm trying my best to make this sound like an actual answer you could get, and they always refer to the chick as 'you' so I will to. Also… I'm assigning you a person that you want, though that probably won't be who you get. Oh, and everyone seems to want you… Anywho, let's start this over, shall we?)

You reached into the basket that Sakura oh-so-ceremonially shoved in your face and pulled out a small slip of paper, praying to every god you knew that you got Sasuke (1) or his older (2) brother. You could deal with him too (3), sure he killed his family off, but he's still hot! You're hand was shaking as you opened one eye to peek at your choice.

"White?" you ask, looking hopefully at the two Uchiha brothers who were duct-taped to their chairs to keep them from killing each other right then and there. (4) Neither of them said a word, but you saw someone in an Akatsuki cloak stand up in the corner of your eye. 'iPlease be Sasori or Deidra/i' you thought 'iHell, Pein would be nice to. He's hot/i' When you looked over you saw… Zetsu!

"NO! NOT ZETSU! HE'S GONNA &#! EAT ME!(6)" You screamed as you were dragged toward the closet and shoved in via Naruto and Sakura. Zetsu walked in after you, and the door was shut, and you were plunged into darkness. You could vaguely here Naruto barricading the door so that you couldn't get out, but you weren't paying attention to that, you were busy trying not to hyperventilate. Suddenly, you heard a voice from across the closet.

"Hi"

"AHHHHHHH!(7)" you screeched.

"You're… hot(8)"

"Really? Thanks!"

"But I'm hungry"

"… crap"

And that was the last word you said. How very, very sad. When the door was opened, you were no-where to be seen, and Zetsu was smiling sheepishly. (9)

"You ate her?" a random person asked. Zetsu nodded. Nobody looked that upset over the new turn of events.

"Cool. Now we can go back to actually being in character" another random person commented. Because the fan-fictions power had run out, Sasuke and Itachi were now able to break free of their duct-tape constraints, and so started trying to kill each other, and the Akatsuki and 'our hero's' stopped magically getting along. All hell broke loose, and everything was how it should be.

1. Lolz! You're a Sasuke fangirl! Ha! Sorry, I think Sasuke's over-rated…

2. hotter

3. Wow. Unfaithful much?

4. That's some good duct-tape!

5. What about Hidan? Or Tobi? huggles Tobi Or Kisame? Or Kakazu? Or Zetsu? There not good enough for you?

6. Aww! Poor Zetsu! huggles Zetsu then jumps away before I can be eaten

7. Chicken!

8. So… not... Zetsu… Ah, well, this is how the write in the quizzes.

9. Ha! You're plant food! Fertilizer!