I shoulda stayed.

Jake Reynolds, Max Tam, Luke Cobb and Frank Washburne all shared the same thought. They wanted to die. They'd convinced the captain to let them take one of the shuttle and go on a job. He agreed. The rest of the crew was off bonding. Zoe and Wash were on a much needed date. Jayne, River, Mal and Inara were taking in a show, much to the chagrin of the merc and the captain. Kaylee and Simon were shopping for parts. That left Fifteen year old Sara Reynolds, Jakes younger sister to watch the youngsters, seven year old twins Abigail and Ariel Washburne, Five year old Marian Tam, Three year old Henry Cobb and his eighteen month old sister Sarah. All was going well for the first few hours.

Then it happened.

They'd come back, flush with cash, unwounded and feeling right shiny about the state of the verse. But they noticed some odd things. The other shuttle was parked next to Serenity. There were pock marks and graffiti all over the ship. But Jake didn't cry.

Reaver graffiti. Jake, Max, Luke and Frank, exited the shuttle with weapons drawn. They approached slowly, but found Jayne and Wash digging graves. Both men saw their siblings and fell to the ground, dropping their weapons and screaming every curse they knew in Chinese. But Jake didn't cry.

But then the men collected themselves, cleaned the ship, and flew off the go se rock, never to return. And still Jake didn't cry.

Later, he went to his bunk and found a capture of his sister from when they were toddlers. He watched it once, then again. And then, finally the floodgates opened. He wept. He tried not to wake his parents, but knew he wouldn't succeed if he didn't leave. He moved to latter, his vision obscured by tears, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He didn't turn around.

"Boa bei, are you alright?" His mother asked.

His answer was a sob. "I shoulda stayed, Ma. I oughta be me insteada…" He tried to finish, but he collapsed in a heap to the floor. Inara knelt next to her son and pulled him into her arms. He resisted, but she held firm.

"Let go! I don't…" He tried to say, but she cut him off gently.

"Shh…hush." She said, pulling his head to her chest and rocking him.

When Inara had returned to ship, she thought she would die right along with her little girl. But now she had a mission, to help her son and her family heal. She smiled, when she heard and felt her son's deep even breathing against her chest.

Yeah, it'd take time. But they'd be alright, they always were.