A Faire Tale
I do not own Death Note.
Summary: A faire tale full of knights, faires, and princessy angst. Aren't you supposed to be doing your homework instead of reading crap like this?
Chapter 6: Witches and Their Unbelievable Grudge Holding Abilities
"…Beyond Birthday."
Light stared at L with a look on his face that read:
"Why does every one in this story have names that don't make sense? Or are alterative?"
L looked back with a face that said:
"Because they are dynamic and have hidden meanings so that the story will seem deep and intellectual."
Light did a handstand and gave L a look that said:
"This story is going no where because the writer can't think of anything better than to have us have conversations with our faces."
L did this creepy smile and had a face that said:
"I can totally see your underwear and am not paying any attention to what your face is saying to me."
Light got back up and put his hands on his hips.
"I was trying to have a serious face dialogue with you." L threw his hands up and looked frustratedly at Light.
"Well I was trying to look at your ladies panties and mentally undress you, so there. I won the argument."
"We weren't even arguing."
"I won anyways." And with that he walked into the woods. Light huffed and followed after him, trying to hold up his skirts so they didn't get dirty. He wasn't wasting perfectly good skirts, I mean honestly.
"Where are we going?"
"To find the witch and get Watari turned back into a stead."
"But wouldn't it be easier if we just went to the castle on foot?"
"Did we not just talk about plot convenience?"
Light sighed and walked after L, who seemed to be at a lost at what to do with the vines with no sword. He decided to thrash at the botany wildly with his hand, which made about three leaves fall off.
When he finished about a half an hour of thrashery, he was panting quite heavily.
"How far are we?"
"Three centimeters from the starting point."
"Damned it!"
Light groaned and pulled out the sword, cutting the shrubs and moving through them. L was very upsettled by this little turn of events, so he tried to make himself seem very useful by talking to Light about how useless he was.
"You know, having a princess/prince might really slow me down. I won't be able to ride around valiantly and stuff, because you will really slow me down. In a fashion that will find unappealing. And then I will just have to dump on the nearest old wizard man so he can, I don't know, rape you and use your bones in his tea and scones."
Light turned around and was about to spit out a very rude word that he couldn't really say because the story was rated Teen and people would get very offended when out of nowhere a large cloud of rain and self esteem issues came forth from the sky.
"AHAHAHAHAHahaha…oh yes, okay, breathing is restricting, restricting, oh, oh, there we go." The cloud landed next to Light and out popped a very skinny man dressed in a long robe that had the most hideous argyle pattern on it. The man was hunched over like a gargoyle. He quickly shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled out an asthma inhaler out (which was strange, because neither asthma nor the inhaler had been invented yet). He took a large puff and then faced the dynamic duo.
"Sooo, I see you thought you could get away from me Lawliet." L groaned and hid his face in embarrassment.
"Please don't use my name B…"
Light was practically dying from laughter. "Your name is Lawliet? That has to be the gayest name ever! Who even names their child that? Ahahahahaha!"
B's face turned straight toward the gender confused prince/princess and his expression became a face of fiery passion of fire and other angry things.
"Is this her? Your new tart to cart around? Does she love you the way I love you?" B clung to L's leg, which seemed very saddened by this predicament, "No one will ever love you the way I do!"
Light rolled his eyes and put his foot down, making B look over and glare.
"What are you going to do, princess?"
It was at this moment that all the planets collided and created a large explosion of amazing proportion.
This was minute compared to Light's explosion.
"You." Stab. "Don't." Stab. "Call." Stabby Stab. "Me Princesss." Stabbbbb Stab. "You socially retarded asthmatic clingy bastard." Stab.
He huffed and flicked his hair back. The bloody body looked absolutely disgusting, but it was nothing compared to the look of absolute gratitude on L's face.
"Oh god. I love you Light, so wholly and purely it is not to be believed." Light giggled and blushed.
"Aww, thanks babe."
They linked arms and skipped off merrily to their next destination, forgetting completely about Watari, who was wandering around aimlessly trying to serve people tea.
The writer scratched her head and shrugged.
"Not like anyone's reading this for great writing or plot."
end of chapter 6
A.N. Oh. I can't write worth crap. Thank you lovely people for pretending to love my slap dash efforts to make you laugh.
I went through my old chapters and found something out. I have a very stupid sense of humor. How are you all getting my jokes? They don't make any sense!
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