Old Enough To Know Better

"Aaaaand…she said… 'It's so cute!'" Finn drawled out in a high pitch falsetto that almost…almost hid the blatant slur that crept through his voice. He teetered a little on his stool, grabbing the bar in front of him with an over exaggerated air of seriousness. "And….and…I told her that it was so not cute…" he trailed off. The ambient noise of the bar would have been overwhelming to some, but the two individuals in question were too far gone into their cups to even notice that they were shouting to be heard above the din.

Aerrow was trying his best to focus his eyes on Finn's face, but since both young men were having equilibrium problems the effort proved to be rather futile. The unsteady wavering of his own body made it nearly impossible to keep his eyes trained on his wildly bobbing friend. He hiccupped, then stifled a bewildered giggle. "Finn… I think…. I think you're lying."

"M'not." Finn grumbled as he reached for the shot glass that sat waiting for him on the bar. "S'what she said."

"Then…hic... maybe…she's right. Hehe….cute."

"S'not cute!" Finn knocked back the shot and slammed it down on the bar with a wooden thunk. "S'not…."

Aerrow drew himself up with all the seriousness and gravity that a drunken twenty-one year old could muster. He gestured with his left hand in a giant sweeping motion, nearly knocking a few of the empty shot glasses to the ground. They wobbled for a moment, unheeded by the pair of friends, but didn't fall. "Then you need to…prove it!" He declared. He held the pose for an impressive amount of time, considering his impaired balance, but the effect was soon broken by another random giggle.

Finn stared at him. "Dude…s'not something I wanna show another… another dude."

"What? Ya…hic... scared?"

"No way, man!" Finn hauled himself up off of his stool. Once he gained his feet, he tottered precariously to the side, but caught himself by looping an arm over Aerrow's shoulders. Aerrow himself almost went down as the unexpected weight threw him off balance, but he managed to clamp his arm over the bar. "I aint scared.. I'll show you. S'not cute!"

Somehow, the blond managed to wobble to his feet and stood for a moment, gathering his bearings. Then, with a cheeky grin to Aerrow, he reached down to the waistline of his pants.

"Finn! Aerrow! There you are!" a voice shouted over the din of the karaoke and people talking. Finn and Aerrow jerked their heads up at the sound, and Finn released his clothes. Piper came through the crowd, shoving against people who didn't move out of her way fast enough. The two watched her squeeze past a random, though particularly voluptuous, lady in green and their eyes were caught by the tight fitting skirt that the woman wore. Finn elbowed Aerrow and gestured to the woman, completely forgetting Piper as she strode over. Aerrow elbowed Finn back as he engaged in the typical male ritual known as 'ogling'.

At least, until they were rudely interrupted.

"Hey! Guys! Hello?" Piper waved her hands in front of their slack faces, effectively cutting off their line of sight to the lady in green. The both snapped their eyes to Piper's face, more or less focusing on her features. Aerrow's face lit up in a silly grin and Finn's features twisted in confusion.

"Hi Piper! We could…hic... use your help…" Aerrow began.

"Hey…what are you doing here? Though….thought you didn't wanna come. Bartender! Another….uh….uh…" Finn trailed, raising his hand to get the barman's attention. The bartender looked over disinterestedly, then glanced at Piper.

"'D'ese boys yers?" He asked, his voice gruff and grainy from years of talking over music and drunks.

She nodded, a bit reluctantly. "Yes, I'm afraid so."

He twitched a shoulder. "Methinks 'dey had enough fer t'night."

"I agree… I'll take them home."

Piper paid the tab down and turned to the two inebriated soldiers. "Come on, boys. Lets get back to the Condor.

They had been staring at her dumbly the entire time she'd been talking with the bartender and when she addressed them, Aerrow smothered another drunken titter and Finn wrapped one arm heavily over her shoulders. "You gonna take us home, huh?" he slurred in her ear. She wrinkled her nose at the alcoholic stench that escaped his mouth.

"Ugh… yeah. I'm taking you guys home."

"Well…" Finn garbled, almost incoherently, "I'm 'fraid y'have t'buy me dinner first. I'm not…I'm not easy, like Aerrow."

"Hey!" Aerrow snickered and pushed Finn's shoulders. "S'not right…"

Piper braced Finn, keeping him from falling down at Aerrow's heavy handed shove and continued to lead the two from the bar. Finn, however, took that moment to make one of those impossible leaps of logic that make perfect sense to drunks, but none at all to those in their right mind. "It is not cute!" He shouted belligerently, as though Aerrow had just insisted that it…whatever it was… was indeed cute. His shout was accompanied by much swinging of his free arm.

"Finn!" Piper yelped, staggering under the sharpshooter's weight, "Stop it!"

"Huh?" He asked dumbly.

Piper rolled her eyes up to the heavens. Please…give me the strength to at least get them out of the bar…

Luck was on her side. She managed to wrest Finn out of the den and Aerrow followed behind like an obedient puppy. A drunken, stumbling, swerving puppy, but obedient nonetheless.

At least they hadn't vomited or anything like that.

"I'm am so guilt tripping Junko when I get back to the ship…" Piper mumbled under her breath.

Aerrow picked that moment to start bawling a rude sailor's chantey and Piper cringed. "Aerrow!"

"-eh? What's up Piper?" he burbled. He staggered sideways in the street before righting himself once more.

"Just… stop singing, okay?"

He nodded compliantly. She almost heaved a sigh of satisfaction. The street itself was fairly silent once they got away from the raucous volume around the bar.

He started humming instead.

Then Finn joined in.

"I give up…" she moaned amid the off-key humming of her companions. The two showed no interest or inclination of stopping their awful chorus and with each new breath, they exhaled noxious fumes from their mouths.

Piper reeled, certain that she was going to end up getting drunk in some impossible way from sheer contact with the two.

It was a long walk back to the ship.

OOO

Okay. I do actually have plans for a second part to this travesty. By the way, this is Challenge # 3 from my profile, if anyone else is interested in trying them out.

Should I do the next addition? Review! I have maybe one more day of internet access… so I hope I get the inspiration to finish this out!