Seeds Of Trouble
Elements of Emotion and Time
Chapter One
Edited this story again. But at least it feels correct now; Sakura doesn't seem like some schizophrenic and the story is more focused and detailed. Enjoy.
Haruno Sakura sighed deeply and let her head crash onto her desk with a sickening thump. Biology could be a real pain in the ass sometimes, she decided, and today's homework load had been mocking her all day from her school bag. Not that she was bad at science; actually she was one of the top students, but ever since her break-up with her silent, withdrawn boyfriend Sasuke, her life just seemed to drop like a boulder. Not to mention the fact that her parents' funeral anniversary and her birthday was this weekend, and her teacher Iruka-sensei would maim her if she happened to "forget" coming to class once more.
The bell rang and Sakura managed to pull herself up, before she was shoved back into her seat by Iruka.
"Hey everyone, sit back down!" Iruka-sensei cried over the noise of his retreating class. The students groaned and returned to their desks. "Now listen up. I decided to take off today's homework, as well as the rest of the school year's—"
The class interrupted Iruka with loud cheers and shrieks of glee. Sakura grinned, feeling light, feathery exhilaration replacing the heavy stress that was previously on her shoulders.
"—However, I am assigning an extra project that is to be due in three months, the end of school. For the past five weeks you guys were growing your own plants—FROM THE SEED, mind you, buying an already-grown plant is automatic fail!—And in turn for the rest of your school work, you will be writing a twenty-page report on the observations of your plant. This will serve as your final exam!"
The class booed and yelled out obscenities and curses. Sakura felt like the grin was slapped off her face.
"Hey, hey! You guys are learning this so that in the future you can be successful ninja! Brute power isn't the only essential that is required! What're you gonna to do, complain?! Class is dismissed!"
Sakura's spirits crashed back down. A twenty-page-hands-on report serving as her science final. Oh great. She'd rather take the schoolwork. Slight relief eased her discomfort as she imagined the small sprout in the pot of soil nestled in the sunniest corner of her kitchen; at least she had started on her project already.
She stood up and arranged her bookbag on her shoulder, then shoved herself through the tightly arranged desks, not bothering to say and receive pardons. Several girls watched Sakura blankly before promptly turning back to each other, ignoring her as she walked by.
She stopped at Iruka's desk and cleared her throat politely. "Iruka-sensei?"
The teacher grunted.
"Is it okay if I could go to P.E. this period tomorrow? Kakashi-sensei asked me to do him a favor."
Iruka nodded distractedly, busy with arranging his papers.
"Thank you. I'll bring a note if I get one."
"Mmhmm...you too," Iruka replied mechanically, not quite listening.
Sakura walked into the loud hall over to her locker and began to idly twirl in the correct numbers on her lock. The locker's hinges were rusty and she yanked on the door, the metal clattering with the vibrations of the force. She tossed in her books and slammed the locker shut once more, unintentionally creating a racket.
Walking towards the hallway exit Sakura opened the zipper on her backpack, pulled out a music player and carefully adjusted the large headphones over her ears. The music blasted loudly through the phones, drawing stunned looks from nearby bystanders.
She returned several of the glances that were shot her way, but no one called out a greeting. Others gave her small smiles though she could tell they weren't genuine, more out of polite awareness than anything else.
Staring straight ahead, Sakura exited the hallway and into the student-filled courtyard, striding with the beats of her music and feeling contentedly immune to the uncomfortable tension she once used to feel when walking past her peers. And unintentionally, she grew to like the feeling of being someplace where she knew nobody and nobody knew her; that was the only way she believed the reality of her existence, when she would walk past people and receive gazes of puzzlement in their eyes, wondering why she was alone. She was acknowledged then.
But of course the excitement died down, had to. She went from being the new girl who had a chance with many eager classmates, to being just someone who always looked and acted dead.
She wasn't even aware she made that impression on others.
"Sakura?" called a voice. Sakura turned around to see another girl running up to her, a nice but shy girl named Hinata who she had become somewhat acquainted with ever since her arrival.
"Hey. What's up?" Sakura said, smiling casually.
"I-I was wondering if I could borrow your doll again?"
"Oh. Yeah. Sure. Come pick him up later."
"T-Thank you."
The two girls walked together in silence. Awkwardness bloomed upon Hinata but Sakura felt nothing more than ease on her own part. The girl sensed that her attraction towards the quiet was what kept her from bonding closely with people, but frankly she didn't really care at the time.
o o o o o o o o o o
"I'm home," Sakura called as she opened the front door.
No answer was expected. There was no one else living with the girl in the first place. She kicked off her shoes, placed her key and music player onto the counter and jogged upstairs to her room.
Sakura looked at the top of her dresser and smiled in earnest, eyes crinkling from her happiness. A two-foot-tall porcelain doll was propped majestically atop the dresser with the help of a stand. "Hey Kiyoshi. My one and only prince."
Kiyoshi was a male porcelain doll with silvery-white colored hair and half-closed, intense purple eyes. The girl took the doll from its stand and hugged it gently. He was the last doll that she'd received from her parents before they had been killed by train burglars. Ever since, she had been showering him with the love that she held for her parents. The girl pulled away from the doll.
"Oops, I messed up your clothes." Sakura tugged on the doll's clothes until she was satisfied. Then cradling him in her arms, she stepped down the stairs and to the kitchen where she had prepared her project.
"So Kiyoshi, let's see the progress on...what the hell?"
Sakura stared at the wilted, black object that was supposed to be her plant. It had been three weeks since she planted the seed for her project and it had been growing healthily, but how it had suddenly died she had no way of knowing.
"Eh, I'll just start my homework and worry about this later," Sakura mumbled. She went back upstairs, placed Kiyoshi on her desk and set her bag on the floor, pulling out books and folders to start her other work. A crumpled paper ball fell out of her bag and bounced onto the floor. She leaned over to pick up the ball and unwrapped it. Her heart jerked as she recognized the messy scrawl- it was her ex-boyfriend's handwriting, and the disheartening note he had written to her months before.
Dear Sakura.
I want to break up.
Because you're always hawking on about "saving it for marriage."
Bullshit.
Now whatever I'm not feeling for you I'm feeling for Ino.
You get the point.
Stop being a vicious bitch and maybe I'll reconsider.
Farewell, good luck with life.
-Sasuke
Sakura felt her hand shiver as she brushed back a stray lock of her pink hair, tears gathering at her green eyes.
"That flaming shitbag. Thought I burned all his stuff. Why do I still have this?" Sakura shredded the paper and allowed most of the tiny bits to flutter into the wastebasket. Several tears dripped from her cheeks as she resumed taking out her school book, but now she felt too depressed to work on anything. She went to her bedside drawer and pulled out her diary.
But as she flipped through the pages, searching for a fresh section to write on, snippets of previous entries dating up to months before contained nothing but the same drawls of pain. In frustration, the girl threw the diary onto her bed and ran down the stairs, grabbing her coat and music as she exited the house.
She locked the door and leapt off the porch, her anger elicited through her swift, powerful strides. The music blared full volume from her headphones, making her ears ache but she didn't care at the moment. She clenched and unclenched her hands in her pockets, the house key digging into the flesh of her palm.
Interesting stores and cheerful food vendors passed by, but the silence of the park was more inviting. Sakura walked into the tunnel of trees, feeling secure underneath the grand textured boughs adorned with bouquets of fire-colored leaves. The only sounds were the birds chirping and the crunching of fallen leaves under her feet. The wind gently blew, causing a momentarily flurry of red, orange and yellow. She stopped for a moment in her tracks, slowly breathing in the scent of sun-baked foliage.
Sakura's aqua green eyes followed the leaves upwards, trying to map out the pattern of the winds.
Sparkling angel, I believed
You were my savior in my time of need.
Blinded by faith, I couldn't hear
All the whispers, the warning so clear.
I see the angels, I'll lead them to your door.
There's no escape now, no mercy no more.
No remorse 'cause I still remember
The smile when you tore me apart.
You took my heart—
Suddenly her boot caught onto a rock. She stumbled and plopped flat onto her stomach. The key flew out of the coat pocket, bouncing against the dirt and sliding into a snake-hole in the floor.
Sakura cursed and ran over to the hole, kneeling down and peering into the black. The key was around seven inches into the darkness, just barely distinguishable.
Cursing again, she tore off her headphones, sat up and searched for a branch, feeling wary about sticking her hand into the hole.
A stick lay on the floor several feet away. Sakura scrambled over and grabbed the wood. She returned to the snake-hole and crouched down, inserting the stick into the hole.
The wood pushed the key farther into the dirt and Sakura crouched lower, shoving the stick deeper into the hole. She felt the end catch onto something and firmly pulled it out. She quickly snatched the key from where it lay, stuffing it safely into her jeans pocket. She started to stand up until a spot of bronze inside the snake hole caught her eye, making her pause.
At the end of the stick hung a small drawstring bag made of bronze gauze material. The cloth reflected the golden sunlight brightly, though there were wears and tears in the fabric.
Sakura looked around warily, then cautiously reached over to pick up the bag. The bag held something of a soft and cottony texture. The girl proceeded to open the bag but paused when a flock of crows began to caw overhead, signaling the coming dusk. She carefully shoved the drawstring bag into her other pant pocket and promptly headed over towards the restaurants she had passed.
Several minutes later, she settled herself into her favorite table in a familiar food vendor, setting in the seat next to her a bag of dango she had previously bought.
"Umeboshi ochazuke and green tea," she said when a waitress approached her table.
Replacing the headphones onto her ears Sakura allowed herself to get lost in her symphony-drenched daydreams.
You took my heart,
deceived me right from the start.
Sakura felt the flap of cool wind against her back when some more people entered the vendor. She averted her eyes away as the arrivals squeezed past her table, apparently a young couple. The girl was laughing ridiculously loud. Sakura recognized the laughter; it appeared that they were from her school.
You showed me dreams,
I wish they'd turn into real.
You broke the promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.
Her reveries were broken when a steaming bowl of umeboshi ochazuke was placed in front of her, along with a glass of ice water. Sakura pulled off her headphones and adjusted them around her neck before reaching across the table for a spoon and chopsticks.
She felt the girl and her boyfriend looking at her. Judging from their posture in her peripheral vision, it seemed they were trying to identify where exactly they had seen her at school.
Sakura plucked one plum after another from the bowl, placing them into her mouth and savoring the strong flavor of the sour plums plump with hot tea.
Picking up her spoon, she slowly chewed on mouthfuls of tea-soaked rice, feeling slightly uncomfortable when she sensed the couple was still watching her. She spared a swift glance. Her guts tightened painfully and she grabbed her bag of dango, attempting to catch a waiter's attention.
Then deciding not to call for the bill, Sakura reached inside her pocket and, grabbing all the money she could feel, blindly threw the coins and crumpled bills onto the table and bolted from the vendor.
o o o o o o o o o o
Sakura jammed the key into the lock so forcefully it dented, stormed into the house and slammed the door so hard that the windows rattled. She mouthed out colorful words and leaned back against the door, closing her eyes.
It was Sasuke in the restaurant, Sasuke and his new girlfriend Ino.
Ex-boyfriend and ex-friend, Sakura thought gloomily, recalling Ino's make-up caked eyes watching her critically from where she sat.
Kicking off her boots but leaving on her clothes, she took a package of dango from her bag and shoved the rest into the fridge. Then heading upstairs, she collapsed onto her bed and grabbed a book, the package of dango by her side. She turned on her boombox and tried to relax, popping a dango into her mouth.
Sparkling angel, I couldn't see
your dark intentions, your feelings for me.
Fallen angel, tell me why?
What is the reason, the thorn in your eye?
She had previously told all her teachers that she wouldn't be in their class the following day except for Kakashi, whose class was morning training. She would sign in and ditch early so she would be able to visit the graveyard by noon. As well as buy flowers from the Yamanako Florist without having to see Ino.
I see the angels, I'll lead them to your door.
There's no escape now, no mercy no more.
No remorse 'cause I still remember
The smile when you tore me apart.
How did Sasuke and Ino meet anyway?
You took my heart,
deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wish they'd turn into real.
You broke the promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.
Loved sometimes sucked. Really sucked.
Could have been forever.
Now we have reached the end.
This world may have failed you.
It doesn't give a reason why.
You could have chosen a different path in life.
Which was better, being emotionless so you could feel no pain, or feeling emotion so you could experience any kind of happiness?
The smile when you tore me apart.
You took my heart,
deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wish they'd turn into real.
You broke the promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.
The doorbell rang. Sakura stood up, puzzled, before remembering Hinata's request to borrow her doll. She grabbed Kiyoshi from his stand and ran down the stairs. She paused at the door and looked into the peephole, just in case it wasn't Hinata.
It was her.
Sakura pulled open the door and Hinata, who had been observing her fidgety hands, jerked her head up and smiled.
"Hello, Sakura-chan, I-I'm sorry for coming late, d-did I happen to disrupt—?."
"Hi. Nope, I wasn't doing anything important."
"H-How are you tonight?"
"Good enough. Could've been better. Here's the doll."
Hinata looked flustered and uncomfortable, as if she had received the doll too soon.
"I...oh...thanks..."
"You're welcome."
The two girls stood silently on the porch. Hinata looked around awkwardly; she felt it wasn't right to simply leave after she got what she wanted. She struggled to find something to say, and fortunately for her Sakura spoke first.
"How did you get here? It's dangerous at night."
"S-some of my other friends walked with me here. They're waiting just down the street."
"Oh, okay. That's good. Well uh, have fun with the doll. And your friends. Goodnight. See you later."
"Goodnight..."
Hinata remained standing on the porch for a minute before one of her friends' voice spoke behind her.
"Haruno Sakura doesn't seem very friendly."
"She's nice enough...whenever she wants to be. She's just not in a h-happy part of life, I feel..."
"Doesn't everyone have issues? She's in my biology class and everyday she looks like she's preparing herself to kill someone."
"No wonder she's got no friends. If a girl wants any friends, she should look and be friendly. Didn't her parents teach her courtesy?" another friend included.
"S-she doesn't have parents...anymore..."
The graves were located on a small hill underneath a large tree. There were few graves in that particular area of the cemetery, resulting in the lack of colorful flowers and fresh scent.
Sakura approached the graves holding a bucket of water, surface cleaner and a bouquet of roses. She had ditched school halfway through her first class and headed straight to the Yamanako flower shop, where the kind woman behind the counter took pity on Sakura and included a free pocket of rose seeds with her bouquet.
Setting her items on the grass, Sakura knelt and began cleaning the graves, allowing her pink bangs to shield her face. After scrubbing one of the graves clean and arranging the bouquet neatly between them, Sakura settled herself comfortably between the graves and pulled out a lunchbox of dango she had brought with her. She ate quietly, enjoying the cool shade of the tree and the serene view of the village below.
She pooped the last dango into her mouth and sat up to finish cleaning her mother's grave. As she reached into her pocket for a handkerchief to wipe the glossy black stone with, her hand brushed against the package of rose seeds still in her pocket. She pulled out the seeds and stared at them for a long while. She glanced around at the bland green expanse. Then, slowly opening the package, her finger scooped out several of the seeds and dropped the seed in the space between the two graves.
Then she lay on the grass and watched the sparkles of light dancing with the foliage, feeling feather-like sensations of warmth where the sun touched her skin. It was certainly a lovely day for a grim date.
"Mom...Dad...," she murmured. "What is heaven like? It probably is a billion times more fun than down here, huh? I really miss you guys."
She sighed.
"Did you ever feel the pain... of losing what was once there? I had you guys. I had friends. I had...a boyfriend."
She picked up the bouquet lying nearby and held it against her chest, imitating the sleeping princess.
"Tomorrow's my birthday. Remember?" she said. Her voice cracked. "This year, I want something. Send me something. Send me a bit of heaven, anything to change me from who I am right now. I'll be waiting."
The wind blew. The grasses waved.
She lay there for a long time, trying not to think of the stresses in her life or remember the dread of returning to a lone, empty house...
The sun had fallen before she realized it was cold. She stood up and wearily made her way back home, wiping her face on her sleeve as she went. And for every thousand steps she took, she dropped a rose seed into the dirt.
o o o o o o o o o o
The turn of the key in the lock echoed throughout the house and the door opened, creaking as it clicked shut.
"I'm home."
No answer, as was expected. Sakura shrugged off her coat and boots. She deposited the lunchbox into the sink and spotted the dead plant in the corner of her kitchen. She hesitated for a second, then grabbed the bowl and dumped its contents into the bin.
She prepared a new pot of soil and, grabbing the rose seeds from her pocket, proceeded to pour the remainder of the seeds into the new soil. A plop caught her attention and she looked to the ground.
Lying on the floor was the bronze drawstring bag she had found the previous day, still unopened. She cautiously reached for the bag and pulled it open, shaking it over her hand. Out spilled a peculiarly large ball of cotton and a folded piece of aged paper.
Sakura stared at the paper. She picked up the paper and unfolded it. The sharp smell of old paper scented the air. Looking carefully Sakura saw different patterns of fingerprints on various areas of the paper; apparently she wasn't the first person to find it. Inside was a paragraph written neatly in brown ink. Her heart pounding, Sakura absorbed the words with her wide green eyes:
"Every creature starts life as an unliving, unloving seed.
A test of time and emotion, but every calamity has its gold.
Life is breathed into the seed; the creation of a new being, a being who can be loved.
Yet heed carefully, for a love is like a planted seed;
Too much water and it will drown, too little water and it will never start.
Isolated and it will grow healthily, and in dirty soil it will grow tainted as well.
Self-discovery is like a bird, needing two separate wings in order for flight.
You might open its eyes to itself, it might open your eyes to yourself.
It might love you; you might be the beauty of its life.
What it receives from you, it might return back.
However, a bird cannot fly, and therefore live, with mismatched wings.
In failing, the creature will once more become lifeless and desolate.
But in passing the test, the seed that sprouted will reach full bloom,
a bird that learned to fly.
Warning: May be possessive."
"What the..."
Sakura carefully refolded the letter and reached for the cotton ball. She squeezed it, trying to feel for any shapes. There was something hard and rectangular concealed within the cotton. Sakura slowly pulled the ball apart. The object was a tiny glass box with a seed in it. It was a very peculiar-looking seed, about the size and texture of a small avocado pit. Looking very closely, there were tiny marks along the side that resembled an inscription.
Sakura held it up to the light to see better. The seed was a very dark, transparent ruby color. There were black spots embedded in the seed that frighteningly resembled the human skeletal structure. She twirled the seed between her fingers, admiring how the light made it glint like a droplet of blood.
Feeling exhilarated, she carefully placed everything back into the drawstring bag. She took the pot of soil upstairs with her and placed it on the floor, since there was not enough room on her bedside table. Gathering her pajamas in her arms, she stood basking in the pleasant shock of mysterious surprise before bolting into the bathroom.
Twenty minutes later, the girl lay on her bed in her pajamas, wet hair tightly bound in a towel. She immediately grabbed the drawstring bag lying on the bedside table and opened it eagerly, digging for the seed and the piece of paper.
After rereading the paragraph three times, Sakura rolled onto her back and held the seed up to the lamplight once more.
There was an intriguing feeling about the seed; she felt as if she had found an incredibly valuable treasure that was created and reserved for no one else but her.
Sakura read the paper once more and smiled.
"So, this thing is probably the seed that I'm supposed to plant, huh," she said aloud to herself.
It's too pretty to plant... she thought inwardly. Oh well, just putting it in the soil wouldn't hurt. Even if the story on the paper is just a story, I still have that pretty jewel.
She gazed at the ruby droplet in her palm and tossed it into the bowl of soil. She stared very intently at the bowl for five seconds, before breaking out into a smile.
"Ah, I'm acting like a crazy person. What could possibly grow from a jewel?"
She continued to stare at the bowl, half-expecting a being to bloom out of the pot. Then she reached over and plucked the seed back out of the bowl. A yawn forced open her mouth and she glanced at the clock.
The numbers read 2:03 A.M.
Sakura yawned once more and crawled beneath her blankets. She turned off the light and reached over to place the ruby seed on her bedside table. Closing her eyes, she turned her back on the seed and went to sleep.
And slowly but surely, the seed began to roll in the direction of the pot, landing with a small plop in the soil.
Hey! Hope you liked the new edit, I certainly did.
And for those who are curious, the song lyrics are from Within Temptation – Angels.
It's a very pretty and sad sounding song. Symphony metal, I think. I had a conflict with the songs but I guess I'll put the second song into the second chapter.
And I know the story got a lot darker in mood compared to the last time's. But you'll see. Maybe. I'm in an unpredictable mindset right now, ho ho. Second chapter should be up after exams.