Disclaimer - I do not own either Firefly or Torchwood. They belong to people who are not me and I'm too lazy to look up who. This story makes me no profit (no matter how much I wish it did) and sueing me for it will get you nothing cuz I've nothing to give.

It was one of those rare night where nothing happened; no rogue weevils to track down or invading aliens to stop. Owen was bored. He was so bored in fact, that he'd taken to watching a random couple arguing outside on the surveillance camera. It was like a bad soap opera that he couldn't bring himself to shut off. Of course, if he hadn't been watching he'd never have seen the young woman suddenly appear.

"Jack," he beaconed his boss over, "I think you ought to see this."

"Has your mystery couple come to blows?" Jack asked as he stepped up behind the smaller man, "Who's the girl?"

"Don't know, but look at this," Owen rewound the picture so Jack could see the girl's appearance.

"Now that is interesting."

"Right out of thin air," Tosh commented, "Do you think she's alien?"

"It's possible," Jack shoved his hands in his pockets and walked towards the lift, "I'm going to greet out guest and find out for sure."

Owen turned up the volume on his monitor so he and Tosh could lean back and watch.

This was no city River had ever seen. The building before her could have easily belonged on any Core world, but the rest of it was too dense and dirty. A border planet then. Unfortunately there wasn't one with just a single unterraformed moon.

She looked around, trying to get her bearings. Jayne had been right next to her only a moment ago. They'd been fighting over the last slice of real cake Kaylee had made for Simon's birthday and now she was here.

Suddenly, she felt something behind her; a barely perceptible vibration and a stray thought about long, wavy hair. She spun on the balls of her feet towards the source.

'A dancer. Nice,' came the thought again. River knew there was someone in front of her, but she couldn't see them. She began muttering to herself about invisibility and the methods by which it might be achieved. When she started speaking about bent light waves a man appeared before her.

"Well now, that's an interesting theory, but no cigar I'm afraid," the man grinned, "Think of it as a SEP field if you like."

"Somebody Else's Problem field. Imagined by Douglas Adams for the starship Bistromathics in his novel 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy', but inaccurate. Invisibility actually leeched from the Chameleon Circuit of a time ship," the man's grin faded, "I do not like cigars." She added as an afterthought.

"How did you know that?" It took River a moment to realize he wasn't asking about her dislike of tobacco.

"Unimportant," she told him, "Who are you?"

"Captain Jack Harkness," the man frowned, "And you?"

"Not the name you were born to, but it will do. I am River Tam, pilot of the Firefly class mid-bulk transport vessel Serenity."

Jack's eyes widened in surprise then narrowed, "What year?"

"2519," she answered absently as she looked around her surroundings, "Where am I?"

"Cardiff, Wales, Earth, early twenty-first century," he answered stonily, "Why don't you come with me?" Jack beaconed her over, "It's warmer inside."

"And you have questions," River smiled suddenly, "I like you better than my other hallucinations, even with your lascivious thoughts." Jack could only stare at her as they stepped onto the lift.

"We don't have room for another one of your strays," Owen yelled at Jack as the lift descended.

"Don't worry," Jack laughed, good cheer back in place, "We're hallucinations. Didn't you know?" he turned to River, "I forgot to ask. Why don't you think we're real?"

"The side affects of the procedure which removed my amygdala manifest as paranoid schizophrenia," she stated matter-of-factly. Jack and Owen blanched.

"You had your amygdala removed?!" Owen nearly screamed.

Tosh looked between the man next to her and the two figures on the lift, "What's an amygdala?"

"It's an emotion filter," Jack answered staring at the girl in shock, "The part of the brain that limits what and how much you feel."

"Didn't choose," River whimpered, suddenly close to tears, "Procedure was forced. Showed too much promise."

Jack framed her face in his hands and forced her to look at him through watery eyes, "What kind of promise? Who did it?"

"Too intelligent. Too agile," she sobbed, "Alliance desired the perfect assassin and the Azure Star was only too willing to comply."

There was a moment of tense silence as an impossibly old man contemplated a half-remembered atrocity committed simultaneously far in his future and farther in his past, two scientists tried to make sense of what they'd just heard, and one very damaged young woman futilely attempted to battle unseen forces and return to her accepted reality. The moment was broken by the sound of leathery wings flapping high above. River looked up at the sound and started to scream.

"I've got her sedated and she's sleeping it off in your office." Owen told Jack forty minutes later as he entered what passed for a conference room.

"Good. Anything else?"

"Her blood pressure's through the roof, but that's to be expected after meeting your first pterodactyl, and she's a bit underweight. Other than that, she seems to be in good nic. I'll have to do a physical to really know anymore."

"Tomorrow, then, if she's up for it," Jack leaned back in his chair.

"So," Tosh leaned over the table towards her boss, "Are you going to tell us?"

"Tell you what?"

"Who she is? Where she came from? How she got here?"

"Any of the above?" Owen added.

"She says her name is River Tam and that she's from about 500 years in the future."

"And you believe her?" Owen asked, derisively.

"She did admit to being schizophrenic," Tosh said.

Jack gestured vaguely towards the roof, "There is a rift in space/time outside." he lowered his hand towards the table, "But just in case, Tosh? I want you to do a search for missing persons in the morning," standing up, he looked to his subordinates, "Now, why don't you two go home and get some sleep."

"Are you sure you want us to go?" Tosh asked.

Jack looked at the Japanese woman and smiled, "I think I can handle one sedated teenage girl."

"She did say something about being an assassin," Owen donned his jacket, "Not to mention insane."

"Alright," Jack ginned, amused, "I think I can handle one sedated and crazy teenage assassin."

After Own and a reluctant Toshiko had been ushered out, Jack made his way to his office and stared at the young woman sleeping deeply on his cot.

Author's Note - There probably won't be any sort of continuation on this. I'm really quite lazy and I've no idea where to go from here anyway. If you want, feel free to continue it for me. I will have absolutely no problems with that.