better than heart attacks
o1: pillow

"Uhn…"

"Fmhhn…"

"Ngghhh."

"Light-kun?"

"What?" replied the irritable 'Light-kun', rolling over on his side once more in a desperate attempt to get comfy. Even though he'd been tossing and turning for nearly an hour now, he still wasn't going to give up. First L had robbed him of his home, then his personal space, then his sort-of-kind-of-not-really girlfriend. He was not going to let him steal his sleep either.

Sleep was good, like potato chips...

"Why do you insist on making such strange noises? It's reducing my reasoning skills by thirty percent," the spindly detective said in a dull, matter-of-fact voice.

"Urrghhh," Light 'urrghhh'ed (for really there was no other way to describe it), rolling back over to face his 'acquaintance'. Or, in the words of Touta Matsuda, 'bed buddy'.

The irritable teen let his brown eyes trail up and down L's slender physique slowly, as if taking a mental snapshot to be stored away and used for later reference.

He was sat in his usual crouch, laptop balanced precariously on his knees, fingers on his right hand diligently clacking against the keyboard while the fingers on his left cycled through his parted lips slowly, each one decorated liberally with saliva and teeth marks. His obsidian eyes were blank and staring, almost eerily so, and his milky-white skin was bathed in the dull blue glow emitting from his laptop. Light found himself idly wondering why L had ever decided to become a detective in the first place; appearance taken into account, he'd be far better suited for the role of a soul-sucking zombie in an NC-17 slasher movie.

"I am making strange noises, Ryuzaki," Light said after a long pause, the image of L and his strange crouch now firmly burned into the backs of his eyeballs, "because I am tired and wish to go to sleep. You know what 'sleep' is, right?"

"Of course," L replied in his monotone voice, thumb resting on his lower lip. "Sleep, dictionary definition: a natural state of periodic rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli."

"Then why don't you ever do it?" Light moaned, burying his head into his pillow. It was the only way to avoid the harsh glare of the laptop, the only light in the entire room. That is, if one were not to count Light Yagami. Sometimes having a name was so easily ridiculed sucked. "Sleep is a normal occurrence for most people."

"Surely I thought you would have been able to deduce by now that I am not most people and I am not normal, Light-kun. You, on the other hand…" L smiled wanly, his voice taking on a slight teasing lilt. "Well, judging from my surveillance of your household you had a fairly normal sleeping pattern. Is there any reason why you have decided to break tradition now?"

"Yeah," Light murmured, voice muffled by the pillow. Plan B; attempt to asphyxiate yourself to death and/or sleep (whichever came first). Unfortunately, there was a small flaw in his cunning scheme. The pillow just wasn't fluffy enough to allow for suffocation.

Jesus, Light would've thought the great detective L could at least afford nice pillows. Then again, before he'd met the eccentric man he'd also assumed the great detective L could afford socks. However, Light had been wrong on both counts. One hundred percent wrong, to coin one of L's common phrases.

"It's because I have to stay awake until the early a.m.s of the morning helping you with the Kira case, and then when we (finally) do go to bed you sit there in your stupid crouch clacking keys really, really loudly and sometimes you pull on the chain by accident - and that really hurts, yanno? - and when you eat cake you get crumbs everywhere and… and…"

"And what, Light-kun?" L inquired, interest finally piqued. Carefully, he set his laptop onto the floor and turned to face his acquaintance/suspect/bed buddy/friend(?). "Do I have any more imperfections you would like me to be aware of?"

"Yes, lots more. You're so fucked up as I wouldn't know where to start," Light said absent-mindedly, the teasing words making L smile a little behind his thumb; it was a good thing Light wasn't looking or he'd have had a heart attack. Which would be rather ironic, actually. "But the last thing isn't about you."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," Light frowned, cautiously sitting himself up so as not to knock the chain and raise his percentage of being Kira. "It's the pillows – they're so damn uncomfy! I mean, back at home I always had like five of them and they were really nice and soft and much better than these cheapo ones and I can't sleep without fluffy pillows and- hey! What the hell?!"

"Light-kun sounds too much like Misa-san sometimes," L explained.

Well ha. As if those words had a hope in hell of ever explaining why the auburn-haired teen had suddenly found himself pressed against the detective's side, mid-rant, thanks to a quick jerk of the chain that linked them together, wrist-to-wrist. A snowball's chance in hell, more like (i.e. none at all).

"Uhn… Fmhhn… Ngghhh?" Light asked, brown eyes wide and confused, mouth opening and closing vacantly like a goldfish. He looked cute, and even cuter still when L wound his stick-thin arms around his torso, anchoring him into place like roots to a flower. "I… What the hell?"

"Light-kun was complaining about not having any pillows," L elaborated, sighing as though it were the most obvious thing in the history of obvious things. "I hope I am comfier than a pillow."

"But…" Light started, but he was quickly silenced when the detective buried his head into the gap between his neck and shoulder blade. A deep inhale on Light's part found the scent of baking pastry invading his nostrils, a truly heavenly aroma that allowed the teen to close his eyes contentedly.

"Light-kun, please shut up and go to sleep."

For what was probably the first time in his life, Light was only too happy to obey.

a.n: yay :D fluff. anywho, this is a collection of random death note oneshots which will mostly revolve around l & light (& misa to a certain extent). some will be au and joy like that.