Disclaimer:
I do not own Tomb Raider or any of it's characters, they belong to Eidos, Crystal Dynamics and others who have bought the rights to make money by playing around with them. I'm not making money through this, if I would, I wouldn't have to work a daytime job. No copyright figment intended, so please don't sue.
Author's note's:
While working on my multi-chaptered L/K fanfic (working title The Eternity You Desire) this just popped into my head and it got in the way, so I had to write it down. Thanks to LC for the beta. As always, please R&R. Enjoy.
Summary:
He always thought that it would be due to a grand moment that he'd decide he had to have her. But the moment his body finally conquers his mind is nothing like that. It happens when she pokes her head around the door of his hotel room and asks if she can use his shower gel.
Mistake
He always thought that it would be due to a grand moment that he'd decide he had to have her, seeing her narrowly escape death or when they both knew it would be their last chance. But the moment his body finally conquers his mind is nothing like that. It happens when she pokes her head around the door of his hotel room – well technically hers, because she's paying – and asks if she can use his shower gel.
His body decides that it would be much more fun if he were to use it on her and his mind seems unable to come up with any reasons why he shouldn't. Or maybe he just isn't listening.
He admits he's slightly surprised when she doesn't slam the door in his face as he makes an innuendo-laced comment, and plays along instead. Apparently, Miss Croft is into these one-night deals. He knows he should be disappointed with that, but it only serves to arouse him more.
When he snuggles up to her in the hotel bed hours later her body doesn't go rigid like it usually would when he touches her. Instead she turns in his arms and buries her head into the crook of his neck, her arms folded between his chest and hers, as if she wants to stay there forever. He can feel her take a breath and open her mouth, preparing to say something, but she checks herself just in time and he doesn't ask, afraid of the answer.
She's gone when he wakes up and he curses loudly when he feels the sting of pain it causes him.
She tries to be high and mighty. Tries to avoid him as much as possible. But they are cooped up in a tiny hotel together and share three meals a day; it's impossible to avoid him.
It's not like her to run from trouble, but this is not something that can be solved with guns, nor a puzzle she can decipher with her clever mind. This feeling is something else, something she can't handle. And so she runs. She avoids him and puts on an indifferent mask, but she knows this is one battle she can't win.
She fights on for days, weeks, but finally she snaps. In the middle of a heated argument she steps up close to him to shout something in his face. And then her eyes meet the deep blue ones before her and everything she wanted to say is forgotten. She kisses him instead.
He kisses back, passionately, and pushes her back onto the bed. She lets him, accepts him and gives herself in return. She wakes with his arm curled protectively around her and instead of feeling annoyed, like she should be, she smiles and drifts back to sleep.
It all goes downhill from there. Before he knows it, they have sex on a regular basis. And soon after it's not just sex. They talk. About themselves, about their lives, even about their dreams. They bond, but he refuses to admit he's falling in love. He's happy and he hasn't felt that way in a long time. And somewhere along the way he forgets why this was such a bad idea in the first place.
Until they travel to an ancient temple in Peru to find the Lux Veritatis pendant - the companion piece to his ring, but given to female members – and get mixed up with the wrong people. Some bloke named Nathaniel and his army of mercenaries and assorted cronies put up a good fight in the race for it, and in a careless moment she does escape death narrowly. But it doesn't make him want her more like he thought it would. It fills him with a feeling of dread so great that he's rooted to the ground in horror and almost gets his own head blown off.
When they finally make it back to the hotel room reality comes crashing down on him with such force that he can barely keep standing. And he makes love to her that night like it is their last time. Because he knows it is.
She remembers the fear she felt every time he was close to danger, the cold fingers gripping her heart and stealing away its ability to pump blood through her veins, making her breathless and dizzy. And she clings to him, because thank God he's unharmed and he's still with her and she's going to enjoy every moment of it.
He seems to feel the same way. He makes love to her with such feeling, such complete surrender that she feels like he's pouring his entire soul into her. And she accepts gladly, because for all his faults and his dark past, she knows she is helplessly in love with him.
She curls up to him in complete happiness that night, content that she's in his arms where she finally feels safe, at home, like she belongs. And this time, when she breathes in and opens her mouth to speak, she refuses to let her mind stop her.
"I love you."
He faces her in the hotel garden. It has taken him all day to gather the courage to do this. The night is deep black, clouds covering the moon and stars, and the only thing that makes it possible for him to see the hurt in her eyes is the cigarette dangling from his lips.
"What?"
He doesn't repeat himself; she's heard him very well the first time. He watches as his words trigger emotions that darken her eyes. Deep pain covered over by seething anger.
"Why?"
"We should never have started it. It was too dangerous, a distraction."
"I was willing to risk that. I was willing to risk everything for you. Obviously you don't feel the same way."
And he remembers clearly the dread he felt when she took a blow to the stomach and went over the edge into that deep dark pit full of God-knows-what. He knows it was pure luck she found a ledge to hold onto. He's familiar with her lifestyle, the frequent brushes with death and he knows that one moment of carelessness, one look over her shoulder to see if he's keeping up, could be enough to kill her. And he can't let that happen because – and he might as well admit it now – he loves her. He loves her too damn much for his own good.
"No, I don't."
And he flicks away his cigarette, so she doesn't read the lie in his eyes. They're both concealed by darkness now, but he can still hear the angry scrape of her boots as she turns on her heel.
"Fine. I'm going to pack my things. I got what I came for, I'm going home."
Something shatters in the silence she leaves behind, and it takes him a moment to realize it's his heart.