Disclaimer: No pwning of Bleach by me.

Author's note: I have a poll on my page, so I'll appreciate it much if you could take one minute to give your vote.

Dedication: Fate, who is nearly a miracle to me. I love you lots! Then the people to whom I dedicate this story to: Alice001, ChibiKitty 14 and wickedsistah1024. Thanks a lot for the support, guys!

The Art of Loving

Third guru: Hitsugaya Toushirou

"I'll buy one cup of coffee for you, OK?" Matsumoto winked at her captain and sashayed away gracefully towards the counter, her stiletto heels ticking against the parquet covered floor rhythmically. Hitsugaya just scowled, but muttered at the side of his lips, "Two sugars."

"Okay!" his lieutenant gave him another wink and Hitsugaya now went back to Rukia who stared at him expectantly.

"What's wrong, Kuchiki?" Hitsugaya asked concernedly, his small hands rested on his lap. He almost fidgeted in curiosity but years being a captain taught him that it was improper.

Rukia blushed hard as she rubbed her chin with her fingers and finally spoke, "Ano, Hitsugaya-taichou, Ichigo…"

Hitsugaya frowned hard, eager to hear the next words that came out of Rukia's mouth. What happened to that carrot top? Did his bankai get problem? Did his inner hollow try to get under his skin again? Or even worse…did he awake yet another monstrous power in him? Hitsugaya shivered at the last thought. No fucking way. What other power could he have awoken?

"Ichigo refused to go out with me."

What the hell?

This was definitely not the kind of problem Hitsugaya expected.

Hitsugaya blinked a few times, trying to compute the news into his brain and he came to a conclusion that his ears must be having problems.

"What, Kuchiki?"

Rukia stuttered nervously, feeling that Hitsugaya's beautiful turquoise eyes were drilling into her own, "Um…Ichigo, he…he's been acting very strange and…and I wonder if it's my fault? So…please teach me…um…how to love someone, Hitsugaya-taichou!"

No. Not his ears that had problems, but it was Kuchiki that possibly had some short circuit in her brain. Or probably that bug everyone was talking about.

Whatever it was, it didn't change the conclusion Hitsugaya had come to: Kuchiki definitely had lost her mind.

"Why are you asking my help for this kind of problem?!" Hitsugaya cried out, earning some glares from the other people. "I thought it was about his bankai or so! But…you want me to talk about…romance?!" He pointed himself, his eyes widened in terror as if talking about romance would immediately kill him.

Rukia cringed and emptied her coffee cup out of nervousness. This was not going to be great—Hitsugaya refused to help! She could feel her head spinning and she muttered tensely, "I…I refill my cup first, okay? And please, help me, Hitsugaya-taichou." Her amethyst eyes were pleading as she said so.

Just right after Rukia went over to the counter to get a refill, Matsumoto came back with Hitsugaya's own cup of coffee. The captain took a little sip then stared at his lieutenant who was sitting comfortably on her armchair. He immediately growled, "Matsumoto! Why are you still relaxing here? Go and do your job!"

"But taichou…" the woman pouted cutely, trying to persuade her captain. "There's no Hollow around, and I'm also sure that Yumichika is more than capable of handling some weaklings…also, I'm not done helping Kuchiki."

Hitsugaya sent over a menacing glare at Matsumoto, and replied as he gritted his teeth, "Go now! How if another Arrancar invades again?!"

It was quite obvious that he was not really in good mood.

"Taichou…"

Matsumoto tried to plead again but Hitsugaya muttered something like 'I swear I will go bankai over your Sake collection later' and Matsumoto had no other choice but to admit defeat. She walked away, her face clearly displayed that she was annoyed. Hitsugaya closed his eyes and rubbed his temple as he said to himself, "Seriously, why did I get a lieutenant like her?"

"I'm back."

Hitsugaya's eyes went back to Rukia who was now having a cup of espresso instead of latte. He scrutinised her face and saw nothing but faint hope and confusion inside there. A sigh escaped his lips.

"Fine. Fine. But don't count on it too much, okay?" Hitsugaya groaned, while cursing Rukia's puppy eyes silently. "I'm not—"

"Thank you very much, Hitsugaya-taichou!" Rukia squealed loudly, her face was as bright as the summer sun. "Aw, don't say that. I'm sure that a help from a genius like you will be very useful! I'm so thankful I could bow down over and over again to you, Hitsugaya-taichou!"

"First." Hitsugaya growled, sipping his coffee as he began. Rukia fingered her pencil, nervous but exhilarated all at once. "Spend more time with him and his training. As we all know, Kurosaki's ego is even bigger than a Menos, so he's probably ashamed of having a weak girlfriend." Rukia's heart dropped. That had been so painfully true. "Train with him, show him that you're capable of protecting yourself…and even better, defeat him. Show him your strength!"

That was definitely the toughest advice up to this point. Training was okay, but defeating Ichigo? His bankai alone was terribly strong, not to mention that he had his Vizard power as backup. Even though Rukia was sure that he would go easy on her, it still didn't change any fact that her power was not even nearly half of his.

"Second." Hitsugaya's gruff voice snapped Rukia back to reality, and she eyed the captain in front of her with utmost attention. "Try to achieve bankai."

"What?!" Rukia's eyes almost bulged out of their place in her skull. Bankai? Her blood ran cold.

Bankai. It's b-a-n-k-a-i, baby.

No way in hell.

"B…but, Hitsugaya-taichou! Bankai is—"

"Your sword is ice-type, isn't it?" Hitsugaya cut her off, and he saw her fidgeted nervously as she gave him a little nod. "This is a secret, actually, but I'll tell you anyway. Ice-based zanpakutou is easier to train if you want to achieve bankai."

"But…"

"Ask Urahara to help you, then," he cut her off again with a wave of his hand. "Okay, next. This is the most important one, so pay attention."

Rukia felt that it was time to take a break, just in case this time Hitsugaya advised her to achieve Vizard power. Seriously, what occupied the captain's mind? Rukia gulped down her coffee hastily and got up from her chair. "Ah…I think, I need another refill."

Hitsugaya almost rolled his eyes. This Kuchiki! He glanced at the queue in front of the counter and sighed desperately—a long line was there and he bet that Rukia would take at least fifteen minutes just to place her order.

"Just don't take too long," he glowered, resting himself against the back of his chair. Rukia nodded and made a beeline towards the queue. She almost banged into a fat woman in process and the woman threw some dirty words at her.

After around twenty minutes, Rukia finally came back—this time it was caramel macchiato inside her cup. Hitsugaya straightened his back and watched intently as Rukia took her seat. "Ready for the last one?" Hitsugaya asked impatiently. Now it was Rukia's turn to roll her eyes. Didn't he almost refuse to help her earlier on? Why all of a sudden he became this excited?

"Okay," Rukia said, picking up her notebook and pencil. Hitsugaya cleared his throat.

"You know one thing? Shirayuki being an ice-type zanpakutou can help you to threaten him."

"Threaten?" Rukia repeated the word absently. "How?"

A blush crept up Hitsugaya's face. Rukia was intrigued—what crossed Hitsugaya's mind? Hitsugaya looked away as he murmured almost inaudibly, "You can threaten him, but be careful."

There was silence around them for a few seconds before Hitsugaya continued, "If he ever refuses to obey to your will again…"

"Threaten to freeze his balls using Shirayuki."

Author's note: So, yeah! There you go, the third chapter! A little dirty up there, huh? –grin nervously- Sorry for the long delay, I had been uninspired and because I didn't want to force my writing, I kinda abandoned this story for a long time. I have rewritten this chapter for like…one hundred time…so I'll appreciate it much if you review!! By the way, is it only me or do you feel that I fail miserably in creating comedy for this chapter? Sorry, sorry…I'll work harder for the next chapter! And oh, the thing with ice-type zanpakutou and bankai above…it's only my creation. So far there's no official statement about it, so don't be confused :D

If this chapter manages to get 10 reviews, I'll give you an early update :)

Next chapter: Interruption, interruption, interruption. Even when Rukia was on her quest, Hollows dared to come her way. Just as she was about to kill the ugly weaklings, the person she least hoped to see at that time popped up. Who? None other than Ichigo himself.