Something grazed across my hand, slicing it with ease. I grimaced as the red fluid spilled over the table, my head falling as nausea overwhelmed me. I could hear a female scream as my vision blurred. 'Ms. Swan!' I continued to hear. Warm hands gripped my wrists, yanking me to my feet before stronger, bigger, much hotter hands gripped over me. 'Bella.' This voice called. Someone close was holding me. But I knew it wasn't the man I wanted it to be. His hands were colder, much colder. His masculine body appeared in front of me, his face blurred as I was losing sight of him. His skin glistened in the sun as I was rushed outside, thrown onto leather.

"Bella--" He hesitated, his pale fingers reaching toward me. "I thought I told you to be safe." His voice was mumbled. I was losing memory of my first love, my first boyfriend. My soulmate. His body became smaller as I stumbled to look through the window, my fingers grazing the glass; only to leave a bloody streak. I called out for him, tears streaming down my cheeks. I continued to claw; trying to dig my way through the glass. Only for my sight to give way, darkness overtaking my sight. My body thumped onto the leather, my stomach expelling its content. I couldn't stand the smell anymore. The smell of my blood; the reason why my soulmate left me. The burning hands reached me again; shaking me away.

"Bella!" His voice boomed in my ears, waking me. "Bella! Wake up!" How could I? I can't stand this smell. It makes me sick! "Sylvia! Hurry! She's losing too much blood." I felt movement near me, pressing something harder against the pain in my hand. Or was it my wrist? I do not know. The pain was numb, almost unnoticable, but I could feel it reaching my shoulder.

"Yes Mr. Black!" A woman's shrill voice forced my eyes to open as it pierced my sensitive ears. Dark hair cascaded over my eyes, just barely reaching over my eyes; but enough to blind me. Mr. Black; I only know two people with that last name. One is in a wheelchair, and the other was deeply in love with me. Jacob Black.

"Bella. It's going to be alright." His hushed voice, hot hands running over my cheeks; wiping the tear stains from my cheek. "She was hallucinating again." He whispered, probably to Sylvia; whom at the moment I have no clue is. "Over him." I heard a grunt, my hearing leaving me as the shrill voice began arguing, screaming. Darkness overcame me once again, but this time it stuck. I could hear Jacob's cries muffled as he shook me. But I could not wake up this time. I was gone. I heard soft clicks, screeches, and screams as the leather left my bare skin. Sirens echoed along with the screams.

"I am here in New York; in front of--" I groaned against the soft fabric that was replaced beneath me; an icy wind slicing my skin. The voices returned. "--where Ms. Swan, author of the best selling books was rushed to the hospital--" Why? Why were these people here?

"I told you." His voice echoed as I opened my eyes, only to be blinded by the forescense lights. But I could see his blurry figure. "To stay alive. To stay safe."

"I--tried." I mouthed as my voice would not come. I could feel the burning hand holding mine, Jacob's dark hair hanging over me. He was speaking with a man in a white coat, a solid; emotionless look on his face. I didn't like him already. Jacob suddenly left me, leaving my hand to cool down to it's normal temperature. Small pricks ran through my arm and a mask-like thing covered my lips, forcing oxygen into my body. I hadn't noticed that I was not breathing. How badly was I hurt? I barely remember the reason why I was brought here. I could hear orders echoing the small room I was in. Forcing my body to relieve the stress it was entering; small shocks hitting my chest, forcing my broken heart to beat.

What did I do to myself this time? Edward's figure showed again, leaning against the door frame of the incredibly white room, a frown plastered on his blurred face. "Bella." He hissed. I could see he was fighting against his so called monster. Fighting not to come and attack me. Though I knew fairly well he couldn't hurt me. I was ill. I was mentally ill. He was just an illusion. A sick trick my mind has been playing with me since I began to recover; if you can call it that. Loud beeps sent me out of my dream-like state I was in. Men and women were smiling through their masks, their sleeves covered in my blood that was still sending me nausea.

"Ms. Swan. Once again, you shall stay alive." One man grinned, almost happy that he sent me away from my so-called relief. He turned on his heels, leaving the room with several other people, but few stayed, checking on the machines I was hooked up too. They stuck something over my chest, probably my laptop and left the room as well. My vision was still blurred, and I was chained to the bed. Though I knew I was not strong enough to lift myself. I was going to be stuck here once again. I knew that soon they would send me to that hospital; that helps people like myself. Was it going to be rehab; for my addiction to drinking and drugs? Or was it going to be that insitute; where they specify in mentally ill people? I do not know. Nor do I wish to know.

"Jacob--" I whispered, my throat raw from whatever I did to myself. He did not come. My laptop shined in front of me, showing a program. The one I used everytime my voice would not cooperate with me. I typed out his name, and suddenly a voice; much louder then my own exited through the speakers. Jacob's worried face burst through the door, a sigh of relief left his lips as he rushed to my side.

"Bella." He whispered; hot hands grabbing onto my own. "Why do you do this to yourself?"

"I don't remember what I did this time." I typed; the voice repeating it.

"I bet; you hit your head pretty hard again." His fingers touched the gauze that was wrapped around my head. "You cut open your hand again, pretty deep I might say." That didn't seem like much. His hot fingers grazed over the cotton covered stitches on my hand. "And when the smell reached you, you just collasped, slicing your head on the knife you used."

"Then why did I need oxygen? Why don't I have my voice?"

"You lost a lot of blood." He laughed softly, but it wasn't a happy laugh. "You've learned how to hit the right vein." He sighed, his thumb running cricles over the back of my hand. "I don't know why your voice has vanished. Maybe from the screaming." I don't remember myself screaming." But don't worry Bella. We'll make sure you get better. You won't suffer anymore." I felt the sting of tears again, burning my eyes before I ripped my hand away from his, pushing my laptop shut and curling into a ball. But before I shut my laptop I typed.

"I'll never get better. Not without him."

My body shook with pain later that night as the medication began to wear off. The doctors warned me that they would wean me off. I was hoping it wouldn't be this bad afterwards. Jacob was asleep across the room on the couch. The flash of cameras sparked through the small window on the door, photographers getting their money for the week. Nurses screamed at them to leave, squeezing their way into the room, rubbing my back soothenly.

"Don't worry honey." One of the older women hushed into my ear. "You'll get through this. You'll get stronger medicine." I just nodded my head, knowing fairly well what medicine she meant. She was the only one who didn't gawk at me, who didn't think of me as a celebrity. She was the best of them all. I cried a little harder, hearing Edward's voice echo through my head again, growling at me for my stupidity. I wasn't dumb; just messed up. The nurse hugged me close, sending her so called good vibes into my system. "If you believe, it'll end the pain." It did at times; but this time it wasn't. His voice wouldn't leave.

"Bella!" He growled from across the room. "I told you to stay safe! Not kill yourself every time you get the chance!" He snapped, his cold presence near mine. "You promised to stay alive!" He continued this all night. I couldn't sleep, not at all. Everything just zoomed by, the time at least. Doctors entered and left, cameras flashed at me, nurses gave me baths everyday. My bandages were changed, and close friends of mine would visit. Even Renee came to visit. She a course, wanted me to move back.

"But you must! Bella. Look at yourself!" My mother held up a mirror, showing myself my reflection. I looked almost like the Cullens, pale skin; ecept my own was sickly pale. I had the deep bags under my eyes from the lack of sleep. "You're a mess!" I simply lifted my hand to touch my face, allowing my chilly fingers to run over the slight warm cheek. I smiled softly. All I needed was golden eyes.

"I got no sleep last night Mother." I forced myself to speak, allowing her to hear my destroyed voice.

"A course not! You were up crying. I was here Bella. You're killing yourself--over that boy! Sure; he was handsome, but he left you years ago. You're twenty three Bella. It's time to do something with your life."

"I'm rich. I don't care." Her hands laid on her hips, soft growls leaving her lips. She never liked how I put that in her face. Just because my real-life books were best sellers doesn't mean she gets to be angry.

"Bella." She knelt down to stare at me in the face, resting the mirror on a near-by table. "I came all this way from Florida. It's time you come home." But if I went there, Edward could not return.

"Why doesn't she come home with me?" Charlie's voice rang through me, only to force tears to come from my eyes. "Then Jacob can visit his father again."

"Are you crazy Charlie!" Renee yelled. "That's where Edward left her. Don't you think she's gone through enough."

"Renee. It might do her some good. She ran away from home after high school. If she comes home and just rethink it over, then maybe. Just maybe it'll help with her broken mind." Renee glared at Charlie for a moment before facing me, though I couldn't tell where her eyes were staring; the tears blurring my vision.

"Bella, do you want to go back to Forks?" I simply nodded my head. It would do me some good. I could look at their home once again. Relive the happy moments I had with the Cullens. I could see her simply grin at my decision, then turned to Charlie. "Looks like she's going home with you Charlie." I could hear him laugh in triumph; happy he won me over. Could I be release from Edward's invisable bond? I guess I would find out soon.

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A/n: Sorry for errors. Microsoft Office isn't working. Had to use Word Pad; no spell check.