Author's Note: It's been awhile since I've had the time to write. This is such wonderful solace. Please keep reading my works! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach

Ukitake, M.D.

By annyenil

It wasn't long before Ukitake Jyuushirou realized what sort of precarious situation he had dangled his perfectly healthy precious body in. He blinked quite blankly at the barking mad Komamura suffering from an agonizing attack of rabies. The best response Jyuushirou could summon was to feel a little sorry for the gigantic canine and his entire Division. That amount of froth could be disturbing and quite resilient to Sereitei detergent. Jyuushirou stood rooted to the ground as he watched Iba and Komamura tore themselves and the entire place down more rapidly than they would have done, with much more gusto than ever.

It was a pity nobody else was around to see this, for if Shunsui had been around, some wry comment might have been solicited from him that would last them a good laugh for quite sometime watching an enormous dog savagely growling at an equally animalistic man with, according to Shunsui, the worst hairstyle and beardstyle in the history of hairstyles and beardstyles. Coupled with those sunglasses? It was nearly and inane comedy, until Jyuushirou's Hippocratic instincts reminded him that he was supposed to treat them, and not ponder over how strange they looked. He had already committed a peccadillo of doctoring.

Disparaging himself, Jyuushirou dug into his Doctor's Kit and pulled out a huge syringe full of the rabies jab. It was the most sickly, thick yellow fluid. He figured that much would do for the entire Division. That was, until a sudden loud boom found the Division office without a roof, and mad shinigamis scampering around with contending wounds and deep, maroon scratches. One syringe would take forever to jab all these mad dogs. And the problem was, they weren't even stationary. If he jabbed one, another will immediately bite it, so there would never be a cure. Jyuushirou escaped to a higher location and glanced down at the roofless Division Office with some resignation. He was, after all, an inveterately languid man with little experience in doctoring. Perhaps he would just consign to killing the entire Division? No, Sensei would probably kill him then. After he had woken up, that is.

On any account, Jyuushirou found himself in that bothersome fix above the fracas until suddenly, a flash of bright pink light flew him to the ground, and before he could catch a glimpse of what had happened, a fierce sword had pierced through his glass syringe, spilling the smoking contents all over the ground. The sword was stained with the medicine. "What are you-" Jyuushirou, in his utmost surprise, suffered an evanescent instant of malaise before realizing that it was the most callous man in Sereitei who had just committed the Unthinkable. That genteel presence accompanying the act was most shocking, for nobody would have suspected Kuchiki Byakuya of such malice. "Kuchiki Taichou, why did you?"

Without even so much as a glance at Jyuushirou, Byakuya spun the sword angularly and spoke most gravely, "Chire, Senbonzakura."

With an upward glance at the sky, every single rabid member of the 7th Division received a good jab in the body in the form of a sharp little blade that carried a little medicine on its tip. "I suppose, that duly served your purpose, Ukitake Taichou?"

"Erm……yea……" Jyuushirou nodded, still stunned by that largely entertaining display of the 1001st usage of Senbonzakura. It was even more intriguing than the instances in which Byakuya had cut Renji's hair with it, and when he had it swarm above Shunsui in place of Nanao's usual petals when she had been sent away on a mission. However, Jyuushirou was still mildly dubious of this action, for Kuchiki Byakuya had never been associate with benevolence either, especially on such a strange account, where he seemed to have sprouted out of nowhere. It was as though the heavens could hear him, for an answer was immediately given.

"Please hurry up with me to my Division."

"What is wrong, Kuchiki Taichou. You seem fine."

However, no more a word was exchanged, so Jyuushirou decided to follow Kuchiki Byakuya to his Division, though on his way he could not help but scrutinize at the powerful captain and could find no fault with him that would have signified the problem with his Division. Byakuya kept a perfectly straight visage suffered neither cold sweat nor swelling throats. What could be the problem? Then, Jyuushirou noticed that this master of shunpo actually had unsteady steps. What could be so malicious that the perfection of the hermetic Byakuya could be impinged upon?

With the Sixth Division in sight, Byakuya suddenly collapsed to the ground from the air, with Abarai Renji rushing out to receive his captain, both foundering in large messy heaps of human and large black hakama, clutching their sides in utter nonsensical agony. Jyuushirou was not surprised that Byakuya had reserved his unseen side for his Division only, and had maintained that equanimity all the way from the 7th Division, though his determination had indeed impressed Jyuushirou. At any rate, Jyuushirou immediately pulled out his stethoscope to examine both Taichou and Fukutaichou, only to find that both were suffering from severe stomach muscle convulsions that could not be cured but by time.

"What do you mean, you can't. Do. Anything. About. It." Renji gritted his teeth as he lost all sense of self trying to ease the pain that was not only abating his strength but also rubbing him of his personality as much as sake did. Except sake was actually enjoyable. Somehow being slashed a thousand times by his taichou's thousand blades was a lot more bearable than a little stomach ache, or perhaps it was the fact the he could not observe the source of pain that made the health defect so fearsome. "At any rate, let me help you into the Division Office first."

It was wise of Jyuushirou, for some sneaky paparazzi was already congregating around the corners hungrily snapping photos of a sexily disheveled Kuchiki Byakuya. It was bad for the image. Bad. At any rate, since there was nothing Jyuushirou could to ease their sufferings, he would have at least made it more comfortable for the entire groaning Division by putting a sleeping spell over them so that once sedated, the moaning and remonstrance at the heavens were reduced to soft, sweaty murmurs and persistent middle fingers at once another in circumvention. And such was the hectic day for a healthy Ukitake Jyuushirou, he thought as he retired to a shady foliage, pulling out his golden timepiece. Under the afternoon sun it shone like a bright star, telling Jyuushirou of the time. It had already been more than 8 hours and he was famished and exhausted. At least he could take a break now.

He wished.

Within five minutes of enjoying the relaxed state of his new found perfectly healthy body, two large orbs – no, two large breasts had transfixed upon his face as Matsumoto Rangiku bent over him, with a limp arm cupping the left side of her cheeks. She, unlike her usual self, was neither particularly ebullient nor sensual. In fact, a non-coquettish Matsumoto was nearly a stranger to Jyuushirou. Righting himself to face Rangiku's face instead of her frontal assets, Jyuushirou offered her a warm supporting arm and asked gently, "What is the matter, Rangiku-san?"

With an embarrassed shade of pink, Rangiku mumbled, "Kooo-hh ake ii ee Geeebiinn."

"Pardon?" Jyuushirou frowned at this strange message she had conveyed. Ah, he could not read the messages of a deranged patient yet.

"Kooo-hh ake ii ee Geeebiinn!" Rangiku was getting frustration as tears began to swell up in her eyes. The pain she was suffering! And to be not understood by a man for the first time, it seemed like as though she had failed completely in throwing hints around. Frustrated, she knelt down and unsheathed the sword, carving her message into the ground.

"Tooth-ache-in-the-Division." Jyuushirou read, now with much understanding. Rangiku nodded with the most lugubrious eyes as Jyuushirou hoisted her over his wonderfully healthy body and transported them to the Tenth Division promptly, wondering just what else could be ahead for the Doctor.

Jyuushirou could not help thinking, "Poor kid. He's got toothache. Maybe I should cut down on the candy."