vi.

"Would you shut up already?" the Master demanded, glaring at the small blonde by his side. It had been twenty minutes since they'd left the cave and she'd asked him his name, and she hadn't stopped laughing since. Well, except if you counted pausing for breath.

"I'm sorry, but 'the Master'?" she choked out, holding her side as if she had stitch and launching into another round.

"What, exactly, is wrong with my name?" he asked coldly, giving her his best intimidating look which she just brushed aside.

"It's so...dominatrix-y!"

The Master had never met anyone like Rose Tyler. Besides her obvious anomalies like her inability to die and her young appearance despite her old age, she was still unlike anybody he'd encountered in his increasing years. She was bossy and rude and completely unaffected by his sociopathic behaviour. He'd tried explaining to her that he was evil, damn it!, and that he'd sooner kill the entire village then have to go face the people trying to capture him, but all she'd done was laugh. Laugh!

He was a cold hearted maniac who had destroyed entire species and yet he was allowing her to pull him along by his sleeve and tell him what to do, all because she'd managed to intimidate him a teensy weensy little bit.

Oh, and she looked incredibly attractive when she was angry.

They were drawing closer to the valley in which the village was located, and the nearer they got the clearer it became that Rose was right about the Pironites taking the tribe hostage.

"OK, now you really need to be quiet, unless you want us to get caught."

"Right, right, sorry."

"Finally!"

"Oy, you didn't even want to come in the first place," Rose retorted with a mild glare, nudging him childishly in the ribs.

"Well, now I am here, I'd rather like to not get captured," he said patronisingly. "Which means that if they see us, I will just push you into their path and make a dash for it."

"How gentlemanly of you," Rose replied sarcastically.

They were, mercifully, silent as they carefully crept towards the village. The Master noticed that Rose had no problem with going ahead of him, a change in comparison to any of the other females he had known who would much sooner treat men like bodyguards. Besides, he had the feeling that Rose Tyler could kick anyone's arse if she needed to. There was something awfully appealing about that.

"Damn," Rose muttered, any mirth that she'd originally been showing vanishing as they made their way noiselessly onwards. The Pironites stood guard around the now bound tribe, all of whom looked terrified, as their captures stood tall and imposing, eyeing them with little more than mild annoyance. "What do we do now?"

The Master gave her an incredulous look. "You think I know? 'Run and hide', remember?"

Rose gave him an annoyed glance. "Please," she scoffed. "You're a Time Lord. You have, like, some unknown level of genius. I'm pretty sure you can come up with something."

The Master grinned, surprised. "Unknown level of genius? I like that. You're right of course, but I tend to not use said genius unless I know what's in it for me."

Spinning around, Rose gripped his arm tightly. "What's in it for you? What's in it for you is that, if you help me, I won't beat the living hell out of you," she spat. "Well, maybe I will but it won't be nearly as bad as if you do nothing."

They were mere inches apart, hidden amongst the trees, and eyeing each other intensely. The Master had to admit that he was impressed; for such a small girl she really did know how to throw a threat around and make it stick. He was also, to his surprise, a little turned on. Well, he had always been a masochist.

Rose, for her part, wasn't sure what had come over her. Sure, she was used to getting her own way, but she couldn't remember ever being so wound up by any one person in all her seven hundred odd years. He was rude and arrogant and self-centred and he made the blood boil beneath her skin. And his lips looked really kissable...

With a start she pulled as far away from the Master as she could in such a confined space, shaking her head madly in an attempt to rid herself of all crazy kissing centred thoughts.

"What..." the Master began, watching her in bemusement. "Are you sick or just insane?"

"Huh? No. Nothing. It's nothing," Rose told him forcibly, turning around to face the Tribe and try and refocus on the issue at hand. "Right, so, you're a genius; what do we do?"

vii.

He really didn't like this plan. He really, really didn't like this plan.

Taking a deep breath, the Master stepped into the clearing, walking slowly and determinedly towards the tribe and their guards, keeping his steps long and purposeful. In the end it had been Rose that had come up with a plan; he was going to act as a decoy because he was the confidant/crazy/disposable one, apparently, and she was going to sneak into the house where she'd been staying. She believed that she had some items amongst her belongings that would be of use. The Master wasn't sure exactly what things, unless she happened to have a sonic laser. And he sincerely doubted that.

The Pironites, ugly bastards that they were, looked up as he came into view, their ridiculously tall shoulders tensing as they looked him over, trying to decide whether to kill on sight or to see what it was he wanted. Well, the Master thought smugly, Rose wanted confident and crazy then he'd give her confident and crazy!

"Hullo," he said cheerily, walking up to the nearest Pironite, who eyed him warily. "Nice place this isn't it? This some sort of ceremony? I've never been to a proper Permatarian ceremony before! Exciting stuff. I was just up at that big city – beautiful place, very shiny, the missus would love it – and one of the nice guards said I should come take a look at some of the outer tribes. Never seen an outer tribe up close before; I'm a communications officer over on Jarvus, see. Spend most of my time counting intergalactic spacial readings. Not exactly thrilling stuff. You ever been to Jarvus? Not the most fascinating of moons, granted, but we've got a couple of nice detmus brooks, and the women...phwoar! None like them this side of Taro. Of course, the wife's a human too, met her before I moved there. Not that I regret it or anything, but sometimes it's tough, you know what I mean? Of course you do. Gotta say, it's been nice to get away even if it is for business. Love her dearly but with her, her mother, and her five sisters, not to mention the brothers in law...well, any man would need the holiday. To be fair, she doesn't ask her family to visit as much as they do – I think they're all a bit bored out on the rim – but she doesn't exactly tell them to get lost either. Hopefully they'll have buggered off home again by the time I get back, not that I'm holding my breath. At least we don't have to worry about my family turning up unannounced – they live all the way out in the Fetna galaxy so we just get the odd message to check in and then go and visit once every couple of years. It's nice; gives me some independence. Also means I don't need to hear them moaning on about how I 'married beneath me' all the time. Really! Of course, the wife was only a medical supplier when I met her, but she's done all her training and taken the exams and now she's a certified med officer for the Jarvus citadel. Gotta love a woman with goals. Although, I think her next goal may have something to do with children which is..."

The Master was cut off suddenly as the Pironite grabbed him around the throat, lifting him easily a few inches off the ground.

"Who are you?" the Pironite asked, coldly.

"Harold Saxon," the Master choked, holding a hand out cockily, the name falling easily from his lips, as familiar as his real one.

"Well Mr Saxon, I do believe that you're either incredibly stupid or trying to trick us. I don't appreciate either," the Pironite glared. "And you talk too much."

"Yeah," the Master told him happily, despite the grip cutting off his air supply. "I get told that a lot."

"So which is it?" the Pironite asked. "Are you just another pathetically idiotic human, or are you after something?"

"Well, I wouldn't mind it if you'd let go of my throat. It's a little uncomfortable...No?...Fine." The Master let out a deep sigh and the Pironite watched him in anticipation. Before he knew what had happened, the Pironite was bent over, clutching his stomach in pain as the Master gained his balance after delivering a powerful kick to the other man's stomach. Pulling back his fist, the Master threw a solid right hook that connected firmly with the Pironite's jaw, sending him spinning to the ground unconscious whilst the Master clutched his aching hand with a wince.

He looked up just in time to see two more Pironites heading for him at a run; thinking quickly, he dropped to the ground, kicking one's legs out from under him as he came into reach and then pushing himself back to his feet. It had been a long time since he'd had to physically fight with anyone, and he felt a rush of adrenaline as his fist connected, once again, with a Pironites jaw.

Unfortunately, his upper hand didn't last. Before long he was being held roughly by two of the Pironites whilst the other one glared furiously from where he stood clutching his bruised chin. The Master was gratified to see blood trickling down the side of his mouth.

"That was very stupid," the Pironite in front of him said. He was obviously the ring leader of this little group; he was shorter than the other two, if only by a few inches, but his face was set in a cold determination that the Master knew was looked for in all Piron's influential.

"Yeah," the Master replied cockily. "I figured that when I lost."

The Head Pironite gave him something which looked like a ghost of a smirk on his usually featureless face, before exchanging looks with his two comrades who immediately starting pulling the Master towards the group of villagers.

"I think, Mr Saxon, that you'll make a perfect example of what happens to those who cross us."

'Shit,' the Master thought, bitterly. 'This is why I don't mix myself up in other people business. It always gets you killed, maimed, or made example of.' He really hoped that Rose had found whatever the hell it was she was looking for because he could definitely use someone swooping in to the rescue right about now.

He was thrown roughly to the ground amongst the tribe's people, falling to his knees with a painful thud. Keeping his compose, he glared up at his captures. "Watch the suit!"

The Pironites ignored him, heading back to their leader as the three conversed quietly, keeping their eye on him at all times.

"Who are you?"

The Master looked up to find a young girl watching him interestedly.

"Nobody. Who are you?"

"My name's Keaf. And you can't be nobody; you have to be somebody!"

"Why do you say that?"

"Because everyone's somebody," she told him seriously, looking like the poster child for innocence and sweetness. He rolled his eyes.

"Sure, everyone's somebody. Glad we cleared that up."

"You're funny," she told him, giggling softly.

The Master growled. "What is it with you people? I'm not funny, I'm not sweet, and I'm not some idiot with a hero complex!"

Keaf giggled again.

Before the Master could make a scathing reply that, really, he should know better than to direct at a young child, the Pironites returned, tugging him violently to his feet, their leader watching calmly. Smug bastard.

It was just typical, really, that the one time he'd deigned to help someone other than himself, he was going to end up dead. Well, not dead...he'd regenerate but that would only end up causing even more problems when the blundering fools realised that he was a lot more than some human with a big mouth. And besides, regeneration really did hurt like hell, and he was all for avoiding pain at all costs...

He caught a glimpse of gold in the corner of him eye. Careful not to turn his gaze, he watched discreetly as Rose came just into sight around the nearest corner, her hands clutching something large, heavy, and...

"Well, Mr Saxon; do you have any last words?"

The Master smirked. "Yeah, two aspirin, lots of fluids, and watch out for concussion."

The Pironite frowned. "What...?"

Rose struck, sending a large electrical jolt through the Pironite that left him lying unconscious on the ground. Before the other two could work out what had happened, the Master threw his elbows hard into their stomachs, following through with a violently jab to their spines as they fell forward. Rose gave them each a jolt of their own as soon as they hit the soil.

viii.

"Just in time," the Master said after a few silent moments. "I wasn't looking forward to regenerating; it's a risky business – you never know what you're going to end up looking like, and besides, I'm rather fond of this incarnation."

Rose rolled her eyes. "Trust it to be a vanity thing with you!"

"Nona Tyler!" Keaf cheered, throwing herself at Rose's legs and gripping them tightly.

"Keaf, are you alright?" Rose asked, crouching down to check the young girl for injuries.

"I'm fine. Father is bruised but he says he shall be alright. I'm not certain about the others."

"Okay, sweetie. We need to untie everyone now."

Keaf ran off to find her father, and Rose moved into the crowd, pulling away binding and making sure the villagers were alright. The Master stayed where he was and Rose offered him nothing more than a long look before she sighed, defeated, and continued without him. After all the tribe were set loose and were checking each other over for injuries, Rose went to stand beside him.

"They'll be out for a while yet but we should probably tie them up just in case."

The Master nodded but didn't move, and Rose didn't push it, staying still herself.

"Thank you," she said after a moment, her voice quiet but sincere.

The Master didn't reply, and the two stood there in awkward silence for several minutes.

"Nona Tyler, are you alright?" Kepala Folnak asked, joining them, completely unaware of the tension that had arisen.

"I'm fine, Kepala, thank you," Rose said sincerely, smiling sweetly at the chief who was determinedly averting his eyes. The Master smirked widely as he realised why.

"I think," Kepala Folnak said softly, "that we should find you something to cover yourself with."

Rose looked confused for a moment and then, with a shriek, realised that she was still without a shirt. Hastily, she wrapped her arms around her chest, glaring fiercely at the Master as he began laughing.

"I hate you," she hissed before following the chief back towards the houses, only succeeding in making the Master laugh even harder.