Disclaimer: I neither own any of this and nor am I making a single penny from this. This is amateur and for my own, and hopefully others, amusement.

Chapter Two-Hunting Mail, Consuming Chicken

"Fawkes, who was really just a glorified, and over-sized chicken"

Harry gingerly climbed into the rented car, desperately ignoring the urge to run as far away from his relatives as possible. He knew they wouldn't catch him, but he couldn't risk The Order losing track of him. Don't let them bait you, he instructed himself firmly when Vernon slammed the car door shut before he could climb in after Dudley. It's not worth it, and it's definitely not worth the hysteria if your hair changes colour or anything like that, he thought chewing his knuckle distractedly.

He sat in the back of car, next to Dudley, tense and waiting for someone to start shouting at him. However the shouting he was waiting for never came, nor were there gasps of horror at his hair colour. Turning his head and looking out the window to alleviate his boredom, he caught sight of his reflection. Normal round glasses, thin face and- his hair, it had regressed to its normal dark, inky colour.

What the hell?

What was he? The human embodiment of a mood ring?

Well, that was just great. Simply peachy. If it was going to happen to someone, he guessed it would have to be him. Snape might call him arrogant, but really, it wasn't his fault that the world actually did seem to revolve around him. Haha. He really wished Ron or someone would reply to his owl, so he could write back and barrage them with questions.

His initial suspicion had been that he must be a metamorphamagus. Although the idea didn't really stand up under close scrutiny- metamorphamagus's were born and not made, weren't they?

He had never heard of it being any other way. And even if they weren't it was unlikely he was one since he remembered from his stay at Grimmauld Place, that it had always taken Tonks close concentration to morph even just her nose. He couldn't have done it accidentally. Which meant that it was either accidental magic or something to do with Dudley. Somehow Harry doubted accidental magic would start manifesting out of nowhere again when it hadn't happened so severely since he was twelve. So that left him with Dudley. How wonderful. He couldn't think of anyone other than his aunt and uncle who would be less co-operative.

"Where are we going?" Harry asked, still staring out of the window.

It was always risky to ask questions when around the Dursleys. He had learnt from a young age not to, it only meant he would miss another meal or be locked in his cupboard even longer than usual. However he was fed up of being dragged around, without anyone bothering to tell him anything, and as far as he could tell, it didn't look like cupboards would be appearing in the near future. If they had travelled all the way to America, it was probably for a pretty important reason. Important enough for him to deserve answers, at least he reasoned.

"None of you business," Aunt Petunia predictably snapped at him, without even turning in her seat to look in his direction.

Harry sighed and slumped down his chair a little, he really shouldn't have been expecting anything else. The Dursleys had always looked at him as some sort of slug they had the misfortune of suffering because they couldn't find the salt right at that moment.

"We're going to a sort of school."

He turned in shock to ogle at his cousin. Had…what had just happened? Dudley…spoke to him…voluntarily?

Harry didn't blink but just stared at his cousin, his mind racing. The whole situation must have been affecting his cousin more than he had initially thought. Now, he looked at his cousin properly for the first time that summer, and yes, he did looked stressed. It was the slight but permanent downturn of the lips, and how his clothes looked just a bit too baggy for him as if he'd unexpectedly lost some weight recently. Harry blinked and looked away. Part of him was waiting, tense, for Dudley to hit him but the blow never came. Not that Harry wouldn't move out of the way, it was just a shocking revelation that Dudley could talk to him without feeling the need to inflict grievous bodily harm.

"It's called the Xavier Institute…or something. I dunno really," Dudley volunteered articulately.

"Oh, thanks," Harry offered. Clearly, the ease of expressing yourself well and sensibly ran in his family. He rubbed at his eyes irritably. They felt uncomfortably large for his face, as if he was tired and forcibly keeping them open wide to compensate.

"You look…" his cousin started to say something, but seemed to change his mind midway through the sentence. Shaking his head very slightly and looking away from Harry, out of the window.

"What? I look what?" Harry demanded, alarmed at Dudley's behaviour.

Oh Salazar's tits. What if his hair had changed colour again?

Dudley glanced at him, the slight widening of his eyes telling Harry that he hadn't expected such an aggressive reaction. It was sort of look that Ron would give Hermione when she reacted unexpectedly strongly to something, right before he turned around and said, "Bloody hell, keep your hair on". Then she would hit him. Harry turned purposefully in his seat, mimicking his cousins position and staring out the window. Trust Dudley to unintentionally remind him of his friends. The ones he couldn't see. Seemed years of practice must have created a kind of homing device for Harry's sore points.

"I just meant that you look a bit sick," Dudley offered at last, still not looking at him.

"Okay," Harry replied, not really sure what to say. The past few days had just been weird. Weird even for him, that is.

"Like, pale." Dudley supplied helpfully, "And…buggy eyed."

"Wow, thanks a lot." Harry said tiredly.

Then he jumped backwards, his chest momentarily clenching painfully before hammering quickly. His shoulders and the grip on his seatbelt, which he hadn't noticed at the time but was making his knuckles turn white, relaxed a little. His eyes widened for a second and quickly blinked with thick lashes trying to make sense of what he seeing. No, it didn't go away and there was most definitely a phoenix flying along his uncles' car.

He quickly dismissed the temptation to ask them to pull over. The drama of them screaming over Fawkes, who was really just a glorified, and over-sized chicken, (albeit quite noble, he's admit to that), would be too awkward. He settled for winding down his window, wincing at how cold the air was when it blew his hair everywhere, and quickly shooting his arm out and snatching the package from Fawkes claws.

When they were little, Dudley had always been shouted at if he had done this and Harry had relished in the opportunity to do something that was denied to his cousin. Years later though, now he really thought about it, he realised the sad fact was that the Dursley's probably just didn't care whether he lost an arm or not. Oh well. It had been satisfying at the time, and it meant he had no qualms about doing it now either.

The package contained two envelopes, made of the thick and slightly yellow parchment that wizards favoured. The first one he glanced at was for him, addressed as:

"Mr H.Potter

Moving, America"

The address was written in green ink, and the envelope shut with a purple wax seal, bearing the Hogwarts coat of arms: a lion, an eagle, a badger, and a snake surrounding a large letter "H". Harry was surprised at the formality, and quickly scanned the letter:

HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. Of Wizards)

Dear Mr Potter, it appears you have left the country. As it is assumed you will be forfeiting your place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this annum, you will be personally contacted to avoid any unnecessary complications.

Please remember that, Term begins on 1 September. An owl is expected if this conflicts with any vacations.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress

Harry blinked. He supposed this was an automated letter, rather like the first one he received, informing of his place at Hogwarts. The formal, neutral tone was very odd. He was completely dumbfounded when he read the name atop the other envelope. It addressed simply to "Petunia," and although it written in the same green ink as his was, it had a personal feel to it.

"Um...Aunt Petunia?"

"Oh for goodness sakes, what?" She snapped at him, as she had done earlier. Harry had used his Question Rations for the day up.

He passed her the letter wordlessly, watching as her widened and she paled. She took the letter tentatively, her hands shaking slightly. Harry tried to ignore Dudley, who had apparently been watching him for a while. Had he seen Fawkes?

His aunt tore open the envelope, her expression grim as she read. Even though she didn't tell anyone what it said, Harry got the distinct impression that she wasn't pleased about it. Harry was. Definitely. When they stopped for food, a portion was bought back for him.

Mmm, chicken.

The cheapest option there, that was for certain, but still. It seemed Dumbledore was good for some things.

He was especially cheered by the little note that had been slipped into his envelope. It was short, to the point and read:

"Harry, the order is watching. We will be in contact soon."

AN: Okay, this chapter is really late. I apologise, I wrote it ages ago. Then my computer decided to eat it, and as I'm techonologically handicapped, I had no idea what to do. Even worse, all my chapter notes are gone as well. So...if this chapter seems, "bitsy" it's because I was just trying to remember everything that had been in it before. And I simply couldn't remember everything.

They'll meet the mutants in the next chapter, and the story will pick up. And Harry will find out what's wrong with him, this chapter was the build up. I really, really hope you enjoy this chapter anyway, and thanks so much to everyone who reviews!

About the automated letter, I thought it was amusing to put it in, most schools in my area send letters out when students dissapear on holiday, so I figured- why not Hogwarts as well?

And Petunia's letter was from Dumbledore, a warning if you like, to treat him well.

Thanks so much: kizunakat, Anime Monster, Themious, BlackDove-alchemist, Freak In Corner, moonjess, vballmania23, Curalium Lacrimo, lilsteves, InuMewMew, Agua Mage, henriette, shadow lupus, October, Darklight, Eloisa Skywalker, x-Xanti-x, SaphirePhoenix, Falling Right Side-Up, Mish, (sorry the first chapter was confusing!), Cutsie-Love, dragonfire04, queen ares and SPEEDIE22.

Any typos are there as I had to type this entire thing in Notepad, which was just...evil beyond words. I. Hate. My. Computer. So. Much. Hopefully compulsive checking has eliminated most of the mispellings, but I'll go back over it again soon.