Warning : Yaoi
Disclaimers: usual

~~~~~
You're there again. When you arrived at my house, you never failed to go out at the garden and stay by the spring for a long time. You had asked me to make a little spring, your sanctuary, and I gladly did. Anything for you, I would gladly do. Each time you go there, you look so sad, so alone and you won't let me help.

You're once again seated at the rock with your feet dangling and touching the waters. It would've been a perfect picture if you'd smile. I know I am invading your privacy by doing this, watching you from afar so I'll leave you now. I'll just wait for you inside the house, like I usually do.

Why? Is it because that I am the enemy? That you don't trust me enough?

I know that you feel something for me, my Dragon. It might even be love, but why won't you let me in? You know that I'll always be here. In the battlefield, we might be enemies, but at my house, in my heart..... you're not an enemy. When you lie in my arms, you're so sad. I can even feel that you're hurting inside when you make love to me. But when I ask, you say it's
alright. I don't understand.......why do you do it? It hurts me that you shut yourself from me.

I once heard you moan a name in your sleep. And when I asked, you just said that she was your past and that she's dead. I wish you'd tell me more....I know I can find the answers for myself, but I want to know it from you............ whoever she is, I know you miss her. I also know that you loved her and you still do. I can see it through your eyes. I wish that I could bring her to you, if that's what it'll take to make you smile again.

You smile once in a while for me, but I always see the sadness that lingers behind your eyes. I want to help you but I can't do anything if you won't let me.

I see you now as you enter the balcony. You stand beside me as we watch the sunset. I look at you and I see that some of the sadness that was present a while ago was gone, though I still see the sorrow and....guilt? You feel guilty?

I reach out my left hand to touch your face and you close your eyes. I pull you to myself for a hug and you hesitated then you return the hug. There's nothing much I can do but provide you the comfort that you need as I hold you in my arms.

I look at the sun as it finally touches the horizon and remembered the name that you moaned that one time........Meiran. Wherever she is, I know she loved you too. And I am hoping that she won't hate me for loving you.

But I do believe that she'll always smile for you, like I would... if I were in her place.

=Owari= (?)