I Miss Hating You
Laying in this cold bed alone and listening to the rain fall
I look over to check on you as you sleep, only to remember you're gone
The darkness is becoming too bright, and the silence is deafening my ears
There was so much I wanted to tell you
So much I wanted you to share with me
But you being, well…you, managed to keep the stoic in place
However, if I had gotten to say one last thing, this would have been it:
Dean, I hated your freaking music
Always Metallica, ACDC, or Kansas
I always tried to get you into new rock
But you just cringed without giving it a chance
I hated when you hogged the shower
Leaving me to freeze my ass off in the cold water
Only afterward to discover you took the last towel
And then you decided to tell me that you forgot my bag in the trunk
I hated your food
It was always so greasy and heavy
McDonalds, Burger King, or a local diner
It was always the same damn thing
I hated when you hit on girls
Even more so when I was stuck in the Impala all night
And then you'd brag about it the next morning
Usually ending with "Sam, you need to get laid."
I hated the movies you liked to watch
They were all either horror, western, or war
I asked if we could see a new movie
But you just called me a girl because it was about love instead of blood and guts
I hated when you were mad
Because when I asked what was wrong you would just shake your head
I was only trying to make you feel better, God forbid try to make you smile
You always looked so sad
But even more then that, I hated when I was mad
You would pry for information that I didn't want to give
You could never leave well enough alone
And then you got mad when I snapped at you
Dean, you were a monster pain in my ass
There were days where I couldn't stand you
You wouldn't shut up or you shut up too much
You were always so complicated to get
But looking over to the empty bed that has no purpose
Not knowing why I got a double
A deep sigh escapes me
I'll never again look over to see you pretend to sleep as you get lost in your thoughts
It's at these moments, and other ones alike
With nothing but the TV to keep me company
That I think about all of those annoying things you did
And I swallow hard, fighting back the tears that are welling in my eyes
Wishing with every ounce of my being that you were there pissing me off
Because even when you were driving me crazy, at least I wasn't alone