Ever wonder how the Bingo Book gets all of its information? Well, I don't blame you. No one ever mentions the author of the bingo book, the brave researcher who dares gather info on the baddest baddies and toughest characters alive.

Frankly, I'm slighted that no one asks about me. I do so much work for all of those ungrateful and wretched villages, and no one even mentions my name anymore. Well, a few do mention me, but I have to avoid them at all costs.

Those who know my name are the strongest of the strong, and probably willing to kill me at a moments notice. I have too many enemies to count.

My name is Shakkin Satsu, the bounty hunter and private investigator of sorts. Each year, I travel to the lowest and vilest places in the world to find every scrap of information possible, and compile it into the Bingo Book.

I've flirted and schemed information out of members of the top organizations in this world, including members of the illustrious Akatsuki, the legendary Sannin, and even a few rouge ninja famous for their power, such as Momochi Zabuza.

Exciting, eh? Yeah, it is, but it is also dangerous.

Let me tell you something; It's all about the game, and how you play it.

You're probably thinking "how has this chick stayed alive so long when she's met every bad guy in the world?"

I have an answer to that one. I use a new disguise and alias for each job. 'Clever' should be my middle name. Or 'Rich,' 'Filthy Rich.' Money is no problem for me nowadays.

Each copywriter of my Bingo Book, which I update annually, pays a very large sum to get their grubby hands on my info. Covetous much?

Well, a new field of opportunity opened up a little while back, and had a few, erm, interesting consequences…

--X--

My gold eyes flicked across the streets of a small village near Amegakure, tracking my prey. I was low on cash, so I decided to collect an easy bounty.

I adjusted my full face mask and Suna hitai-ate, which oh-so-innocently sported a slash through the middle, and transformed. My henge was of a dark-haired buxom beauty in a maroon dress, the perfect opposite of my true likeness.

In fact, my hair is a pale gold and my eyes are a darker shade of the same color. I'm pale, and thin, and most definitely not as well-endowed as my henge. Sure, I'm pretty and all, but not pretty enough for what my job entails.

In the matter of appearances, I am a self-proclaimed expert. Only five living people have managed to dispel my genjutsu and see my true likeness. You might know a few.

Jiraiya, that god-forsaken perv.

Tsunade ('nuf said, he he.)

Some loser with the sharingan (I think his name was Dorito…)

Hidan of the Akatsuki.

And, last but most definitely not least, Takigakure no Kakuzu.

Let me tell you right now, he scared me till high heaven. Still does most days, especially around lunchtime...

Anyway, back to the story.

--X--

I had been innocently wandering around that small village outside Amegakure, when I decided to, ehm, replenish my moth-ridden wallet by collecting a small bounty. I stole the wrong guy's bounty. You should be able to guess who the 'wrong guy' was, right? Yeah, Kakuzu-kun really doesn't like parting with his money.

Ever.

I sat down at the local bar and decided to eek a little tidbit out of the victim, sorry, guy next to me. I had him registered for entry #227 in the next edition in my bingo book anyway. I casually slipped a drug into his drink, gathered as much information out of the egotistical rouge nin, and suggested we go for a walk conveniently before the drug knocked the idiot out.

I caught his bulky body and dragged him into an alley, hog-tying him in the process.

"That idiot was too easy. No wonder I hate men!" I laughed, throwing him over my shoulder. Suddenly I felt a presence behind me. Its chakra was absolutely huge. I twirled and met face to face with two figures in black cloaks with red clouds on them. My eyes widened. I knew exactly who these guys were.

None other than Kakuzu and Hidan of the infamous Akatsuki.

"I believe that idiot's bounty belongs to me." Kakuzu growled, eyeing me up and down. I paled and set my prisoner down, lifting my hands into the air in a gesture of peace as I backed down the alley.

"I know a tough hunter when I see one. You can have this one, I'll find someone else." I said, hoping that I sounded braver than I was.

"Why don't I get rid of her?" Hidan asked, stepping forward. I bumped into a trashcan, ruining any dignity I might have previously had.

Crap.

"W-why would you want to do that?" I asked shakily, earning a laugh from Hidan. Kakuzu remained eerily silent, and was doing something with his hands. He was in shadow, so I couldn't see the hand seals he was forming. Next thing I knew, my henge was gone, leaving only my true form.

Double crap!

"You're an ex-Suna nin, eh?" Kakuzu asked. I could practically see the gears turn in his freaking man-brain as he slowly recognized my description.

"Shakkin Satsu, I think you'll be coming along with me as well." Kakuzu chuckled after I had witnessed the flash of recognition cross his eyes.

Triple crap! Three strikes and I'm out!

"H-how about I just leave and pretend I never got in your way?" I asked. Kakuzu shook his head.

"With such a large bounty on your head, and the ability to get rid of a business rival, I would have to decline that offer." I was shaking like crazy. I couldn't fight members of the Akatsuki!

"Takigakure no Kakuzu-Sama, I find your interest flattering, but couldn't we work something else out?" the two men were getting annoyed.

"I think not." Kakuzu replied bluntly, advancing swiftly. I jumped onto the roof and ran, forming transportation hand seals. I turned around and yelled to my pursuers once more.

"Hidan, Kakuzu, it was nice meeting you!" I vanished into smoke. I can imagine both of them cursing and fuming in rage. I do that to people apparently.

That wasn't the last time I'd see them, though.

--X--

It was another regular day on my month-long self-imposed vacation after selling the latest updates, and I was running from some random drunk dude with a knife. Apparently he didn't like to be pick-pocketed, hehehe.

"Get back here you little thief!" He shouted, throwing the knife at me. The blade embedded itself in my left shoulder. I whirled around and kicked the man where the sun doesn't shine. He was out for the count as I ran.

I arrived at a bar, went into the bathroom without being seen, cleaned up the wound, slid out the window, then reentered. I had changed my henge to that of a violet-haired woman in a black dress. I sat down at the bar and ordered a few shots to dull the pain in my shoulder.

"Have you heard those weird rumors about a criminal named Tobi?" A man asked casually, sitting next to me on a small stool.

"I thought a beautiful lady like you ought to be aware of the dangers in this area" He flirted unmercifully, hoping to flatter me. I adopted a look of pure curiosity, turning towards the shinobi.

"No, I haven't. Do tell!" I asked eagerly, leaning one elbow on the bar. The shinobi went on to exaggerate about how this Tobi dude had been sighted outside the village we were currently in.

That's when I felt him. His familiar chakra approached the bar, menacing and overpowering. I was surprised that he didn't even think to mask it. Maybe he was cocky enough to think I wouldn't notice. Haha, yeah right.

I excused myself hastily and rushed into the bathroom, sliding out the window and taking a new henge for extra precaution as I ran down the back alley behind the bar.

No dice.

"Shakkin Satsu, you can't run this time. You are injured." He was right. I turned and faced Kakuzu once more, realizing that he had undone my genjutsu.

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious. And I bet your buddy is behind me with that ridiculously large scythe, eager to kill me if I decide to run." I said, sarcasm seeping into the words in a sticky undertone.

"By the smell of your blood, I figured you to be sweet." Hidan laughed and walked out of the shadows.

"I guess I was wrong, maybe you are just a sour wench." I visibly twitched at the insult, but dismissed it without another thought as an idea pervaded my mind.

"Kakuzu-Sama, I know I'm trapped, and that you two would know better than to fall for my escape tactics again. I also know I have an interesting deal to offer you, should you so chose…" I said, trailing off at the end of my sentence to pique his curiosity.

"Spit it out woman, time is money." Kakuzu barked, earning another flinch from me.

"I propose a game of dice." I said, pulling dice slowly out of my pocket and showing the two psychopaths, praying they didn't think I had drawn a weapon.

"If you win, I obviously go with you to God-Knows-Where." I said gruffly, crossing my arms over my chest.

"But if I win, I give you my latest Bingo Book earnings and run like hell. If I win you cannot track me or capture me three months. Highest two out of three rolls will be victorious." I finished, weighing the men's expressions heavily. Hidan's scowl was apparent even through the corner of my eye, but Kakuzu was impossible to read due to his infuriating mask.

This what they mean by making a deal with the Devil, isn't it?

"You strike a mean bargain, Satsu-chan. I accept." Kakuzu walked forward to accept a die, and sat down parallel to me. He raised his hand in a discreet gesture, and the next sensation I felt was of a sharp metal object resting against an artery in my neck.

Hidan was holding his scythe to my throat, daring me to make a break for it.

"Ladies first." Kakuzu muttered, allowing me the first roll.

Round one:

Satsu: Six

Kakuzu: Three

Round two:

Satsu: One

Kakuzu: Four

The tension in the air as we prepared to break our tie was stifling. I rolled slowly, praying as hard as a non-religious person could.

Final round:

Satsu: Five

Kakuzu: Two

I shook with relief and anticipation as I handed Kakuzu the money out of my bag. I accepted the dice and returned it to my pocket, promising myself that I would never lose my newly appointed 'Lucky Pair.' I also felt Hidan's menacing weapon lifted from its resting place on my neck.

"You play a nice game, Satsu-chan. I'll be seeing you again soon. Say, in maybe, three months?" I stiffened and hid my fear with a harsh bark of laughter.

"You wish Kakuzu-kun. I'll be long gone by then!" I re-covered my face quickly, pulling up my mask. His penetrating stare unnerved me, and I felt insanely vulnerable in my own skin. Nearly my entire life was spent under the cover of genjutsu, and without it I wouldn't be much of a shinobi at all.

"We'll see soon, now won't we?" He replied, still staring at my face with those neon-green eyes of his. I nodded, backing up slowly. I turned on my heel and ran as fast and as far as I could, putting as much distance between the s-class criminal and myself as possible.