Yes, I saw this idea from another one of my favourite book's website and it was hilarious. So I couldn't resist. I seriously couldn't. Of course it's OOC because it's things they would never say. duh.
They would never in their existence say:
Edward:
I very much enjoy listening to the thoughts of perverted guys.
(Standing outside the Quiliets meeting and dressed up in a wolf costume) Aren't I Wol-fish enought for the... wolf club?
Of course I'll work for you Aro! And we can roast Bella tonight if you want to!
Bella... have I ever told you that your breath really stinks after you eat a hot-dog?
I'm gonna buy a baby!
Jasper:
I like bunnies.
Does this dress make me look fat?
Oh, sorry guys. I can't come with to save Bella. The new Dora the Explora just came
on.
Emmett. I am your father.
Charlie:
Man, Dr. Cullen is a studmuffin.
I think I'm going to adobt a ferret today.
looking in mirror I'm so hot.
Lurent:
I'm such a loser.
Who's interested in hearing my speech on world peace?
I'm not really dead, they just had budget cuts.
Aww... look at the little kitty.
Emmett. I am your father.
Marcus:
Don't be fooled. I'm just Gandolf in disguise.
I don't not exist. i'm just a figment of your imagination!
I like my humans plump and diabetic.
Okay! So what are we going to dress up as this year for holloween?!
I wanna dance with somebody...
Let's make silly faces.
Where's the love?
Alice:
I don't feel like shopping.
Jasper:
I'm making Alice feel the need to go to the thrift store instead.
Rosalie:
I look like a punchbowl.
People are all so nice!
I love life.
Emmett. I am your father.
Bella:
I can pop-lock it and drop it.
Romeo sucks.
Aw... look at the carcuss.
It ain't my biznes foo.
Carlise:
I feel like spontanously dancing.
Esme. I'm getting a divorce from our first three marriges. But I'm keeping the latter
ones.
Girl, are those shoes on sale?
Jasper. I am highly offened by your Confiderate uniform.
I'm making WAFFLES!
Emmett. I AM your farther.
Emmett.
If protons and neutrons share pions which keep everything from falling apart and electrons circle around the nuecles...
Mom? How many guys are my farther? I'm confused.
I think I'm going to go back to my stamp collection.
Jasper makes me feel like a woman.