Yes, I saw this idea from another one of my favourite book's website and it was hilarious. So I couldn't resist. I seriously couldn't. Of course it's OOC because it's things they would never say. duh.

They would never in their existence say:

Edward:

I very much enjoy listening to the thoughts of perverted guys.

(Standing outside the Quiliets meeting and dressed up in a wolf costume) Aren't I Wol-fish enought for the... wolf club?

Of course I'll work for you Aro! And we can roast Bella tonight if you want to!

Bella... have I ever told you that your breath really stinks after you eat a hot-dog?

I'm gonna buy a baby!

Jasper:

I like bunnies.

Does this dress make me look fat?

Oh, sorry guys. I can't come with to save Bella. The new Dora the Explora just came

on.

Emmett. I am your father.

Charlie:

Man, Dr. Cullen is a studmuffin.

I think I'm going to adobt a ferret today.

looking in mirror I'm so hot.

Lurent:

I'm such a loser.

Who's interested in hearing my speech on world peace?

I'm not really dead, they just had budget cuts.

Aww... look at the little kitty.

Emmett. I am your father.

Marcus:

Don't be fooled. I'm just Gandolf in disguise.

I don't not exist. i'm just a figment of your imagination!

I like my humans plump and diabetic.

Okay! So what are we going to dress up as this year for holloween?!

I wanna dance with somebody...

Let's make silly faces.

Where's the love?

Alice:

I don't feel like shopping.

Jasper:

I'm making Alice feel the need to go to the thrift store instead.

Rosalie:

I look like a punchbowl.

People are all so nice!

I love life.

Emmett. I am your father.

Bella:

I can pop-lock it and drop it.

Romeo sucks.

Aw... look at the carcuss.

It ain't my biznes foo.

Carlise:

I feel like spontanously dancing.

Esme. I'm getting a divorce from our first three marriges. But I'm keeping the latter

ones.

Girl, are those shoes on sale?

Jasper. I am highly offened by your Confiderate uniform.

I'm making WAFFLES!

Emmett. I AM your farther.

Emmett.

If protons and neutrons share pions which keep everything from falling apart and electrons circle around the nuecles...

Mom? How many guys are my farther? I'm confused.

I think I'm going to go back to my stamp collection.

Jasper makes me feel like a woman.