A/N: Okay, I officially allow you to chase me with metal bars and pound me with them until I die. :( I am so deeply sorry for those who really loved this story. The truth? A big part of my life started to change. I was becoming a senior in high school, I was graduating which made me think of my future. I want so many things and writing was one of them. I knew then that writing was going to take a major role in my careers and majors. But during that summer, I start feeling insecure about my writing. I know I am not the best writer, I realize that. But writing had always been a huge part of me since I was 12 years old and I started writing poems. I was inspired, truly. About anything really, but especially love. Well, the boy I thought I was in infatuated with for 2 years. The one I thought was going to change my life and be a part of it. Well...it didn't work out. I was crushed and left uninspired. To tell you honestly, ever since he was no longer in my life all the inspiration and faith in myself and writing, left me. I know, I know. It sounds pathetic. But it is true. Since I no longer got butterflies and no longer day-dreamed about being with him, the spark was gone. I could not write. I had no interest in writing anymore. I couldn't write one paragraph that was about love, lust, infatuation or pain. Nothing. I was left empty. It really effected me because I loved writing. And for me to just give it up and no longer express my emotions on paper/work document frustrated me to no end! I hated it and I cried for hours because I felt so lost.

So the year long hiatus was my own vacation. I need to find something in my life that would inspire me to write again. I needed to live. I started college and yet, nothing. I found nothing that made me want to write. Usually, I could go to the theaters to watch moves and that would lead me to write, but nothing came of it. Nothing. So today, while I was reading some Jacob/Bella fanfics, I started thinking about Haze again and I remembered that I had once chapter completed before I decided to take an unofficial hiatus. Chapter 30, I meant to publish but that was when the change started occurring. So I decided that I would publish this. It is no where near the end of the story. There is so much I wanted for fanfic but I felt that this chapter should be published. I look back at my writing and cringe. I have horrible grammar and some things I wrote were beyond ridiculous! How did you stay with me for so long? :) Anyways, so if by popular demand you guys want me to continue with this story then I will. I am not as obsessed with Twilight anymore like I used to be and I kind of forgot about things that happened in the books but I will try my hardest to remember and research them again. I will not and I repeat will not read the books again. I still have the last semester of my freshmen year of college to get through, I would have no time to read those again. Haha. But if no one wants this story to continue then I might no write another chapter again or might delete it, I don't know it depends on you all.

So again, I am terrible sorry :( Love you all.

Disclaimer: All copyright material belongs to their owners. I am not Stephanie Meyer, (thankfully). I finally saw the light. Anyways, she does have fantastic characters. Which I wish I could own! Unfortunately, I do not. Only in my dreams. But I do own my characters. :) Enjoy.

Chapter 30

Set The Fire

Sophie

The sound waves vibrating through the phone was about the only thing my ears could hear. I could not feel the chill wind picking up speed. Or the water's mist heading towards me because I was so close to the shore. My feet didn't move one inch from where I was standing and they felt like they were plastered with cement. The hairs on my arms stood up but I was not cold. My stomach, not only had the same stomach pains since this morning but butterflies seemed to be flutter inside as well. I noticed that I only blinked about twice while trying to transfer through my mind the information the doctor's secretary was giving me.

The truth of this pregnancy had the very ability to render my whole life. Just the thought of being a mother at the age of seventeen chilled my bones. Following in my mother's footsteps. All thoughts of possibly becoming a feminist escaped my mind. The female wolf's major priority was to bear their mate's children. What would my ancestors say about the fact that I crossed enemy lines by fraternized with the very thing werewolves despise the most? They'd banish me from the tribe and exile me to oblivion.

I could hear my mother lecture me now. She'd say I am taking this too lightly. In her opinion I should be freaking out and praying endlessly that Charlie does not kick me out of the house.

What is Charlie going to say? What will Jake say? Will Sam remove me from the pack? Would I have to go to school pregnant every day? I can't imagine what Amber and Steve are going to say, much less my grandparents. Oh gosh, my grandparents will be so disappointed.

I could feel the hot tears cascade down my warm cheeks. I started feeling overwhelmed and smothered. I needed fresh air yet ironically I was outside. I need to run. My inner wolf told myself and she was right. Running free would surely release me a little from the unbearable pain both in my stomach and in my heart. Running away was not a possibility but the more I thought about it the more appealing it sounded. How easily life could be just to run away from my problems. Just like Blake did.

And the most important person in this scenario I didn't think about until now. Blake. Saying his name in my head did not make it any less difficult than saying it out loud. The father of my possibly future child doesn't even have an inclining that I might be pregnant. Of course! The day after he ditched me I had to find out that I might be pregnant with his child. Of course!

I looked down at my stomach, rubbing it with out giving much thought. I might be carrying a child. Another human being...well a being, half-werewolf and half-vampire hybrid child? I would be responsible for another life. I would not be able to be a kid anymore. I'll be stripped from that privilege and handed a metal platter of duties and responsibilities because of the cause of my actions. How could I be pregnant? The tears did not stop. Since leaving the doctor's office I didn't think I had anymore tears left to shed, but new ones surfaced like experiencing a whole other heartbreak. I can't do this. I can't do this alone. I wish my mother was here. My throat hurt and the pains both in my heart and stomach refused to leave me be, a daily reminder that is what it will be for now on.

I pondered back to the dream I had before Emily dropped me off. That dream would seem so real. Something not meant to be lived through a dream. Something meant to take life and actually occur. The little girl was so precious and I couldn't help but feel that someday she will be my own daughter just like in the dream. The little girl with her big eyes screamed joy and happiness. And the older version of me seemed so content and at peace with absolute no fear in her world. She seemed so sure of herself and strong. I admire that girl and only hope that she will be what I become later in life.

Thinking back, my stomach pains fractionally decreased. I noticed the tears stopped and the overwhelming feeling was no longer a bother. If there is a baby growing inside me, maybe this is my fate to get were I should be or be who I should be. No more dependent little girl clinging to the help of Jacob, Charlie, or grandpa to protect me. Things happen for a reason which a person must figure out later on, I have always believed in that. It is tough to accept those bad things but time does heal. Then people start taking into account how sort life really is and how much one needs to cherish it. So maybe this could be a good thing. It may not seem that way now but I know I have people who love me. Family and friends may not understand and may be resentful at first but as I learn they will see it eventually. Plus, if I do have a child and I pray that she is exactly like that little girl in my dreams no matter how much I believe it isn't. If my prayer does come true that maybe all of this is bearable. I sighed deeply, not a sign of frustration but a sigh of peace. This may not be so horrible after all. I could do this. The more I pictured the image of my future daughter and I playing in the grass the more relaxed I became. I can do this.

I must have been so far stretched into my fantasy that I had not realized the secretary was still on the phone. I put the phone back to my ear, said "hello", but all I received was the dial tone. In a panic, I ended the call and hastily tried to dial the number, but she beat me to the punch.

"Hello Miss Swan? I believe I lost you. You were not responding and I started getting worried." She exclaimed to me solicitously.

"Oh I am sorry. I was just in utter shock. I did not expect the results to come in so soon." I explained trying to keep my voice down from a screech. I had this immense urge to know the results already. Compared to early after the doctor's visit were I dreaded the thought of knowing and wished I could hide under my blankets for the rest of my abnormal life.

"That is alright. Miss Swan I completely understand. Sophia you came up negative. Miss Swan you are not pregnant, I am so sorry."

It happened for the second time that day. All I could hear were the sound waves from the phone. I don't even know if I was breathing or not. My eyes were not evening staring at something directly. I did not see past the trees and over the rocks that a family of raccoons were chasing each other. Or that moss on a log was dying. None of my surroundings brought my out of this trance. The secretary's voice starting ringing in my ear which was the only thing that brought my back into reality.

"I'm not? P-pregnant?"

"No you are not." Suddenly relief struck me and the boulder upon my chest seemed to have lifted. I could jump up and down while screaming "hallelujah" if it wasn't going to make the secretary think I am crazy. Breathing came easier now and I could finally enjoy it. I was not pregnant! I do not have to be kicked out of my house. Charlie isn't going to be mad at me. My grandparents aren't going to be disappointed. I won't have to go to school everyday with a growing belly for nine months or less. Jacob won't be mad either. I won't be kicked out of the pack. Yes!

"Thank you. You do not realize how big weight was that was just lifted off my shoulders. Please tell Dr. Avowal I said thank you."

"I will Miss Swan, but he did tell me to pass on this information. The cause of those pains in your stomach was due to stress. Recently for the past few months your emotional level has been bouncing up and down. Sophia I say this with precaution. You must not deal with anything that may cause you to be overwhelmed or give you emotional distress. Drink lots of fluids and make sure you get a goods nights sleep. Both you and your wolf need to be calm and rested in order to work together. Also eat healthy, we do not want those pains to get worse. And if they do Dr. Avowal says to come and visit him and he will prescribe a medicine for you to take. Miss Swan I must warn you that, what you are experiencing now could continue if you do get pregnant. Though we never treated anyone in your condition being three species, it is very important you take this advise."

"Yes, I understand and rest assured I am never having sex again. Thank you so much for everything and I will call Dr. Avowal if it gets worse."

"Okay Miss Swan you take care now dear, take his advise, have a good day."

"Yes, you too."

I ran into the garage, surely with a huge grin upon my flustered face. The guys looked up suddenly thinking something was wrong until they noticed the expression on my face. Their worried faces changed the minute they saw my amused one. Probably bewildered as to way I was smiling suddenly when not just a few minutes ago I was ready to have another mental break down.

"Guys guess what? I am not pre-" I stopped myself mid sentence because I just realized what I was about to say.

How could I tell them? What would they think? Did I want to tell them? Not really. So I decided I wasn't going another realization struck a nerve with me. I wasn't pregnant. That means I am not going to have a child or be a mother. The more I thought of that the more sad and heart retching it felt. There was a new pain but not one in my stomach and this pain had felt familiar before, there was a new pain in my heart. A pain I would never have thought I would have. I didn't know how much I wanted to be a mother until it was possible. I fought hard to keep the tears from falling. I just couldn't help myself from crying all over the place for various different reasons today, it made me sick. The rational part of me knew that being a mother at my age and with the life I lead was no possible. It would be too much too deal with. But the other part of me, the emotional one, longed for the dream I hard earlier to come true. I couldn't help but feel disappointed that I was not going to see that little dark haired angel anytime soon or if at all.

"I'm not prepared." I blurted. They looked at me quizzically and then looked at each other. Jacob's face showed the most concern. I could tell by his body language that he was about to stand up from where he was sitting to come over to me but without thought I stepped back.

"What are you talking about Soph?" Jacob asked with his concern.

"Yea, you are starting to act a little weird again." Quil confessed, which earned him a shove in the stomach with Embry's elbow. Physically telling Quil to 'shut the hell up'. That made me want to laugh.

"I'm fine! I just realized I am not prepared for dinner tonight. I'm going to go change. So I will see you guys later." With a wave, I left the garage but not before I heard Quil say something.

"Pssh, girls. Too complicated for me to understand."

Hope you liked it so far. You glad she isn't pregers? Yea? Me too. Haha

Review, so I know if I should continue it or not. Thanks loves. :)

Song for this chapter: "You Will Leave A Mark" by A Silent Film