Rogue12158

Disclaimer: No own Bleach, simple as that.

Acceptance Speech

Summery: After being made a captain of the Gotei 13, Ichigo Kurosaki was allowed to make an acceptance speech. Will the world flame over and will angels cry? More than likely.

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Today, it actually rained cats and dogs.

Today, pigs flew.

And today, Ichigo Kurosaki became a captain of the Gotei 13.

The world as we knew it would surely come to an end. And not just because he was made into a captain, oh no, but because he was allowed to make an acceptance speech. Oh, the horror.

The world flamed and the heavens weeped.

Not really, but it went something like this:

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At his first officer's meeting, Captain Ichigo Kurosaki was asked if would like to say a few words in front of his peers.

Naturally, he gladly accepted, and walked swiftly to the front of the room.

He coughed to clear his throat quickly before starting. "Well, at a time like this, there is only one thing that anyone could say. IN YOUR FACE! HA! I remember meeting all of you on my first visit to the Soul Society. One of you thought I was nothing more than a earth world punk with too much spirit energy!" He looked at the red-haired Renji Abarai.

"Then, one of you wanted to kill me, carrying around a little pink midget on your back, just because you were bored and felt like killing something." He turned his glare to a shrugging and nodding Kenpachi Zaraki.

"And we can't forget the man who doesn't fully understand the concept of facial expression! So I couldn't really ever tell how he thinks of me, but I'm going to assume that's it's in the realm of loathing!" Ichigo's icy stare switched over to the stone faced captain, Byakuya Kuchiki.

"Are you done?" Byakuya asked, visibly emotionless.

"See my point?! The man is like a rock!" Ichigo pointed to his fellow captain.

"Give it a rest, Kurosaki," said the already frustrated Captain Tôshirô Hitsugaya.

"Shut up, Tôshirô!"

"It's Captain Hitsugaya!" He shouted, an angry vein popping out of his forehead.

"Like it matters—Ouch!!"

Rukia, who was fed up with being embarrassed by Ichigo's idiocy, after all, she had to live in the Soul Society, too, kicked him in the shins. The kick forced Ichigo to slump over, allowing Rukia to grab his ear and drag him back to his seat.

Renji stood up, breaking the awkward silence, and said, "Well now that the entertainment portion of the meeting is over, let's get back to the matters at hand."

"HEY!!"

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Goodbye, Cruel World.

End

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