A/N: Don't ask me why, because I don't know why. Yes, I'm writing an mpreg. An mpreg! The bane of all logical fanfiction! What is wrong with me? Well, I had an urge. Yes, an urge. That's what it was. Because it makes me giggle.

Now first of all, to all of those who are curious or skeptical, I thank you for being willing to actually click on the link to my story to hear me out. This is partly crack. Partly parody. Partly humor. Partly drama. Partly romance. Partly porn. And mostly fluff. Yes, this story is for fun. Not only will I be poking fun at other mpreg stories, but I'll be (hopefully) writing it so as to give an example of exemplary nonsensical fiction. Yes, that's right, I'm writing an mpreg story far better than any before! Because- dun Dun DUN- it will make the most sense I can possibly make it make.

Yay for AP Biology and twisting everything I learned there!

By the way, please stuff yourself with sugar and/or caffeine before reading this, so as to better the experience.

And if you flame me, you'll just encourage me. I like to be contrary like that.

A Political Arrangement

Chapter 1: Making Arrangements

It started right after Tsunade hit her third 60th (or so it was called) birthday.

She had been inviting— Read: forcing— Naruto to attend Council meetings long before that, so Naruto entered the hall and sat in his usual corner prepared for another afternoon of doodling and daydreaming while resisting the childish— that's what Baa-chan called them the first couple times she had to lecture him— urges to retaliate against the discrete glares the Council members occasionally sent his way.

It wasn't until Tsunade had been talking for a while before he realized that nearly every Council member was sneering at him.

Straightening from his slump, Naruto glanced at the Hokage, and realized she was looking at him too— thankfully, with a much less hostile expression.

He blinked.

The deceptively genjutsu-ed blonde raised an eyebrow as silence descended in the musty meeting hall. "Well, Naruto?"

The younger let his face backslide into the familiar goofy grin, and he scratched his cheek, feeling the slightly dimpled markings there out of habit. "Uh... Well what?"

The change was instantaneous.

"Were you even listening, you brat!"

"Ow!"

It scared him sometimes, how that old hag could change so quickly from the kindly and eccentric woman he had named "grandmother" without knowing if the label fit or not, to the scary, murderous, painful personification of rage that always reminded Naruto of the bathhouse women his sensei frequented.

As it turned out, Naruto had missed Tsunade's speech announcing her pending re-retirement, and her decision to name her successor.

Naruto had missed the words he'd been waiting for— no, striving for— for so many years. He had been named Rokudaime Hokage.

At first, Naruto sat through the rest of the meeting in a blind stupor, deaf to the angry protests of the Council. The Hokage's words didn't sink into his brain until he was out on the streets, automatically racing to his apartment, and he spent the next week struggling to believe it.

However, his life-long upward battle was far from over. The Council spent the next four months waging a vicious and relentless battle with the current Hokage. Tsunade met each argument with fortitude, but her intended retirement date was pushed steadily down the calendar, regardless.

Naruto was not present in the meeting hall when the Council came up with their most insane argument yet. Tsunade, in an attempt to prove her point to the Council, had started shackling him with administrative duties. He wasn't exactly sitting at the impressive oak desk in the Hokage suite, but he wasn't doing any of those stupid practice assignments he had sat through so many of with Shizune-chan peering over his shoulder, either.

His clones were almost done with all of the B-Level papers and about half-way through the A-Level ones all detailing the fine points of trade of non-military items with foreign shinobi villages when Tsunade barged in, bowling over one clone and making another POOF out of existence as the door banged his rump with enough force to keep going and leave a dent in the wall.

"We need to talk." she said.

"What kind of stupid requirement is that'ttebayo!"

Tsunade sighed and rubbed her temples. "It is law, actually. An old, unused, obsolete law."

"They why does it matter, huh?"

"Well, it was in use rather recently, actually, if it was never actively acknowledged. After the death of the Yondaime, and then the Sandaime, however, people had other things to worry about."

Naruto sat down with a huff, but his foot kept tapping rapidly. "This is ridiculous!"

Tsunade gave him a look, saying she couldn't agree more.

They sat quietly for a moment, Naruto mumbling obscenities under his breath, and Tsunade glaring into the distance.

"So..." Tsunade tapped her desk. "Have anyone in mind?"

Naruto's head snapped up. "What the hell! Do you really expect me to get married on a whim because the Council pulled some stupid, old law out of their collective, over-stuffed asshole? Why don't you just go back to the meeting hall and kick them around 'til they concede like you always do? This is their stupidest argument yet!"

Tsunade slumped forward with a sigh, and Naruto felt slightly guilty for the dull exhaustion in her eyes. It had been a hard couple months fighting for him, he reminded himself, and the elaborate genjutsu Kyuubi let him see through when he turned and looked at her out of the corner of his eye let him see the emaciated, vulnerable woman she really was.

"Look brat," Naruto made a point of keeping quiet, he may call her hag, but Tsunade was one of the few people he truly respected. "Age requirements, doubts of your skill and integrity— that kind of crap is arbitrary and easily argued away or circumvented with the right paperwork and the well-placed promise to the right political figure. However, the Hokage is not the main legislative body in Konoha, that's what the Council's for. I just sign the papers."

Naruto chewed his lip, going over the years of tutelage in the administrative arts he had received in his head. "Can't you veto? Or something?" He winced; he already knew the answer.

"The law's already in place," Tsunade shook her head, "and it's even harder to ask for a repeal. The majority of the Council is against you."

Naruto sniffed indignantly and scuffed the floor with his sandals.

A thought struck him.

"Hey, wait a minute! Does this mean you have to get married, too? According to this law, you can't be Hokage either!"

Tsunade gave him a small smile for catching the loophole. "That's what I told the Council. However, I get exempted from such requirements for being instated in a time of crisis."

Naruto frowned. "So, I really have to get married in order to be eligible for Hokage?" He fell back into his chair with a thump. "Why is it even a law in the first place?"

The Hokage resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the whine. "Well, ever since Konoha was founded, Hokage has been one of the most trying jobs— and that leaves little time for other things— such as finding love." Tsunade ignored the raspberry the blonde blew at the ceiling. "The Hokage is the most powerful shinobi in the village— and Konoha would be losing a great potential asset if that very powerful shinobi forgot to procreate."

The older blonde was leveled with an unimpressed stare. Yes, Naruto knew what procreate meant. Thanks to his sensei, he knew every possible method of saying sex, including those portrayed with obscure hand signs and foreign languages. "I have to get married because they want me to have kids? I would have thought they wouldn't want to have any more Kyuubi brats running around." he snarled.

He instantly felt sorry as a painful emotion flashed in the Hokage's eyes. Even Kakashi-sensei still flinched at the mention of the demon.

"Naruto..."

"So, will you marry me, baa-chan?" he slipped easily behind the cheerful façade in hopes of lightening the mood after his slip up.

He didn't even bother to dodge the unnaturally powerful fist that connected with his face a split second later.

It was certainly a worrying dilemma. Naruto was used to overcoming obstacles with brute force and determination. However, this situation required a delicacy that he was loathe to admit may be his political undoing.

How could he get around this one? He was reluctant to dump his most recent problem on any of the girls he knew; he respected all of the ones he would even consider spending a day with— much less the rest of his life— too much to want to do that to them. If nothing else, Naruto was an idealist, and romance was one of those dreams he held close, right next to being Hokage. Besides, there weren't any girls he knew whom he felt he could provide the loving relationship they deserved.

He had gotten over Sakura years ago, and though he knew she would drop everything to help him achieve his dreams, he knew he could not ask her. Their relationship had been painfully distant and cordial for years. Killing one's first crush, traitor or not, tended to put a damper on even the hardiest of friendships.

Then there was— well, he couldn't think of anyone. He knew girls, sure, but not any on the sort of personal terms this required. Naruto scowled down at his cooling ramen; he didn't need to be reminded of the pathetic state of his love life. It was kind of hard to find that special someone when not only were you busy almost constantly with political aspirations, but also when most potential mates hated you before they even met you.

"Pork. Small, please."

Naruto tensed at the concise words, and knew instantly to whom they belonged. He was smiling before he even turned to greet his sneaky little friend. "Oi! Are you ever going to get past the creep-and-pounce stage? You know we're way past that!"

It was a running joke between the two, even though the redhead never seemed to get it.

Gaara, as soon as he had gotten wind of the news, had rushed his entire sandy posse to Konoha to witness Naruto's swearing-in; only to discover the Council had postponed the ceremony. Again. And again. And again.

His presence was one thing to be thankful for, though the stoic redhead wasn't much for conversation, he was certainly a comfort at his side, silently and emotionlessly offering support in that ever-enigmatic Gaara-way as Naruto struggled through the final battle for his childhood dream.

"What did they say today?" Gaara's eyes narrowed, and Naruto took comfort in that the suspicious glare was not for him.

Gaara may have the social skills of a retarded rock, but Naruto always appreciated Gaara's ability to understand him without the help of words. No one else could decipher him that easily no matter how well they claimed they knew him. One needed to have lived through what the Jinchuuriki had to understand the labyrinthine personality of one, for no sympathetic mind was great enough to conjure what it was like. And Naruto always smiled at that, no matter how sad he really was.

"The Council pulled out a stupid, old law, and Baa-chan can't shoot it down this time. I have to get married to be eligible for Hokage."

Gaara frowned; and he glared at the small bowl of steaming broth as it was set in front of him.

Naruto gestured for his next helping as he continued. "Huh, and I would think they wouldn't want—" he stopped, remembering the reaction he had gotten from Tsunade in saying those words. Bitterness did not fit the ever-cheerful Uzumaki Naruto.

"—any more demon brats running around?" Gaara finished for him with a smirk.

Naruto smiled back ruefully.

The redhead nodded, shutting his eyes briefly. "There is also a law like that in my village."

Naruto stilled. Gaara was a secretive person, to be sure, but... could he really have missed something like that for so many years?! "You're not married are you?"

Gaara glared at him, berating him for his loudness. "No."

Naruto sighed in relief, he couldn't imagine Gaara with a wife to go home to, such a blow to his perceived reality might turn the entire thing upside down. Besides, he wasn't sure he could come to terms with the jealousy that flared in his chest at the notion that Gaara might have something that he didn't. Selfish though it was, some part of Naruto had gotten the idea that Gaara was constant that could be relied on, someone to stand companionably by his side when his life took a downward turn, and any change to that was a betrayal.

"The Suna Council decided the marriage requirement void due to the dire circumstances surrounding my instatement."

Nodding, Naruto added, "Same thing with Tsunade. Do you think any 'dire' circumstances are in Konoha's future?"

Gaara allowed Naruto to see the brief twinkle of amusement in his eyes. "Orochimaru is dead, his followers scattered to the four corners of the continent, Akatsuki is disbanded, and no inter-village hostilities have been posing a threat lately. The forecast looks relatively peaceful, I'm afraid."

"Too bad, I coulda used at least a cloud of political disturbance!" chuckled Naruto.

Gaara smirked. "Well, Cloud and Mist have seemed rather stormy lately, but the weatherman predicts the disturbance will dissipate when it reaches the Iwa mountain range."

Naruto laughed, turning to his new bowl of ramen as the metaphor was wrung dry. "Gaara, I think you were a weatherman in a previous life!" he grinned as he dug in.

He ate the next two bowls with a feeling of peace, grateful for once that Gaara didn't talk much.

"...Do you have anyone in mind?"

The noodles being shoveled down Naruto's throat nearly choked him.

He scowled at the redhead once he had cleared his airway. "That's what Baa-chan asked."

Gaara cocked his head curiously, unwilling to let go of the question.

Naruto harrumphed and slammed his chopsticks down moodily. Did Gaara have to bring this back up just when he had managed to forget it enough to let the silly smile slip back onto his face? "No, there isn't anyone I have in mind! I haven't even dated anyone in I-don't-know-how-long!"

Gaara raised his hairless brows as Naruto raised his voice. Naruto couldn't care less if the other restaurant patrons were glaring at them.

"What about that carrot-top from Iwa?"

Naruto drew in a breath, ready to go on a tirade as Gaara asked the question. He let it out in a whoosh. "I wasn't her type, apparently." Naruto frowned, Gaara had been told this already.

"The blonde from Rain?"

"Too high-strung."

"That brunette you met in Northern Fire country?"

"She smelled funny. And had crooked teeth."

"The redhead you met at the bathhouse."

"Which one?"

"Both."

"Gaara!" growled Naruto, "You already know all this!" It was their best kept secret, that Naruto told Gaara everything. It was much better to talk to a socially-retarded rock with good listening skills rather than the ceiling in his apartment, at least.

"... Sakura?"

"Sakura— well, Sakura..." Naruto sighed.

Gaara nodded at the blonde's dejected tone. "You have no one at all."

Naruto bristled at the painful words, even though they weren't meant to be.

Gaara was staring at him when he looked up; and Naruto frowned at the unfamiliar expression in his eyes.

"The Council says you must marry in order to ensure your genes live on in future generations." stated the redhead, as if summing up an argument.

"Yes..." Naruto was starting to get uneasy, that strange sparkle in those teal eyes foreshadowed disaster, he was sure.

"You don't need a wife, you need children."

"Well, wouldn't I need a wife for that? Gaara, I can't just pick up a kid off the street and call it reproduction."

Gaara's lips were slowly stretching into that scary half-crazed grin that still scared the shit out of Naruto.

"Um... you're not suggesting I knock up some random chick, are you? That's sick! And it'll probably cost me the nomination."

"That's not necessary."

Naruto glanced at the redhead askance. "Then what the hell are you grinning like that for? You look like you're planning some sort of evil, diabolical plot."

Naruto was almost sorry for the speed with which the grin disappeared, leaving Gaara looking almost apologetic.

"Uh... Shukaku?"

Gaara's fingers brushed his lips, as if to make sure the bloodthirsty grin was gone. He shook his head, whether at Naruto's question or in reprimanding the demon in his mind, he didn't know.

"Um... as I was saying, all you need is a... willing body that can produce your progeny."

Naruto turned slightly green at the clinical tone with which Gaara spoke. "Well... yeah, I guess, but not just anyone."

"And it would be ideal if this body happened to be of at least notable political stature." conceded Gaara.

Naruto had known this, but hadn't even bothered to consider it. His list of girls was short enough as it was.

"Did you know the biological definition of a female is: any individual of a species that produces eggs that can be fertilized by a male of the same species in order to create viable offspring? Thusly, provided the right equipment, even a genotypically male individual can be classified as female."

Naruto swallowed. He was about to try to lead the conversation off that topic with an off-color comment about transvestites when he noticed the expectant gleam in Gaara's eye. One thing about Gaara, is he was more stubborn that Naruto was. Once he got something into his mind, he would not let go of it, no matter how much Naruto did not want to listen. "That's a bit of a stretch, don't you think?"

"I'm sure Hokage-sama would agree with me." he smirked. "After all, even a normal human male has at least one ovary, even if it is not functional."

Naruto took a deep breath, scanning their surroundings for a distraction with his peripheral vision. "Gaara—"

"Demonic chakra can achieve things even the greatest medic-nin would fall short on."

Their eyes locked, and Naruto knew he was serious. He could feel his skin paling.

With a new cloud of dread hanging over his head, Naruto paid for both their meals, sadly leaving half a bowl unfinished and Gaara's untouched; and he dragged the redhead out of the stall and down the street until he came across a suitable alleyway to duck into.

"Look, Gaara—" he started.

"The fact that I can do it is reason enough." Gaara interrupted uncharacteristically. "And if you ask, I'll say yes."

Running his hands through his hair anxiously, Naruto took a step back. There was an unspoken agreement between them, and that was to never bring up the accident. "Gaara, that night—"

"If nothing else, it proved the possibility! I can carry child, and maybe you can, too—"

"Gaara! If you're saying what I think you're saying—"

"—And that means," Gaara was staring up at him with an earnest urgency rarely seen in those cold jade eyes. "That I fulfill the requirements."

Naruto crossed his arms, suddenly feeling angry. "For what? A wife? The law requires marriage, and last time I checked, you need a girl for that!"

Gaara growled at him, showing off two rows of sharp, white teeth that glistened in the shadowed alley. "That's what I've been saying this entire time!"

Naruto snorted. "What? That just because you're a freak of nature, that makes you a girl? I wouldn't expect that kind of stupid logic from you!"

Gaara recoiled, snarling at the words; but it was okay. Between them, they both knew it was like the pot calling the kettle black.

"Uzumaki," Naruto winced at the return to the aloof, formal tone. It had taken him years to wean Gaara off that. "I'm trying to give you an option here." Maybe he shouldn't have been so harsh, after all.

"We don't even know if what that thing was would have grown into anything, much less something passably human!" But the fire had been drained from his voice, as Gaara glared at him with ice he didn't remember hurting so much.

"Shukaku says that since it would be of our making, it would take the form we wished it to."

"Can you really trust what the demon says?!"

Gaara narrowed his eyes at him. "You were not the one who's—" he stopped, grasping for words. "...You cannot understand. I am the experienced one here, and I know Shukaku is not lying now." That was Gaara's way of saying, "Trust me."

Naruto looked down, and noticed that Gaara was clutching his stomach unconsciously. He remembered the spark he had felt there, and how he had destroyed it himself out of fear and shame of what he had done. "You really mean it, don't you." He shook his head at the craziness of it. Oh well, Gaara was known for that.

Gaara didn't even have to nod, it wasn't a question, but he answered regardless. "I am your friend and... you helped me achieve my happiness, so I would do anything to return the favor."

Naruto's eyes snapped up, and cerulean locked with determined teal. "That favor has long been voided. You don't owe me anything."

"I owe you everything." rebutted the redhead.

Naruto opened his mouth to protest this, but Gaara beat him to it.

"And... I want to do this."

The blonde's eyes bulged. "Want to? Has the Ichibi driven you crazy? You want to throw away everything you've worked for just to be a housewife?"

Gaara shrugged one shoulder. "The Council instated me with the intent to make me a figurehead, anyway. It's a battle every step of the way just to be able to sign paperwork, and frankly, I'm tired of it."

Naruto stared suspiciously. "You'd leave Suna? Your siblings?"

In typical Gaara fashion, he gave a round-a-bout answer. "Villagers still mind to walk on the other side of the street whenever I walk about town, and besides, Temari spends most of her time here." Naruto wasn't sure he could trust Gaara's nonchalance.

"Kankurou?"

"He's first male born. Kazekage is his birthright anyway."

Naruto stared disbelievingly. "Goddamit, you're serious? Have you thought this through?"

Gaara glared at him, defying any more protests with his eyes.

Naruto chewed his lip pensively. Gaara did not make commitments lightly. If the redhead was willing to make this kind of proposal, then he was damn-well planning to go through with it. And... Naruto couldn't help but be drawn to the idea. Ever since he'd been old enough to like girls, he'd wanted one of his own to come home to. Gaara, of course, was far from a girl, no matter what he said. But he could still be a person to depend on for company every time he came home from a hard day. Naruto already liked the idea of having Gaara by his side— until death do them part. Selfish, it was, but he couldn't help but want to hold onto his friend. Gaara had been the best thing he'd had for years, especially after Sasuke's... death. "You... really want to?"

"I don't like to repeat myself." Gaara growled, and Naruto knew that if he expressed himself like a normal person he'd be howling in exasperation.

It probably wasn't the most rational decision he'd ever made; but having Gaara and a chance at Hokage status was too much to pass up. He'd said the words practically before he came to the conclusion. "Will you marry me?"

Gaara blinked at him owlishly for a whole minute, more surprised that Naruto was.

"Sabaku no Gaara," repeated Naruto, "will you marry me?"

"Baa-chan! You better start preparing for the coronation now'ttebayo!" Naruto barged in yelling gleefully at the top of his lungs, dragging a bewildered redhead behind him.

"Naruto! You brat, what are you onto now?"

The blonde Jinchuuriki grinned at his elder, ignoring the dangerously pulsing vein in her forehead as usual. "I'm getting married!"

Tsunade choked and Shizune tripped with the pile of scrolls she was carrying. "What? W-when? Who!" The Hokage jumped out of her seat spluttering. She hadn't been expecting the blonde would actually go out and find a wife in the span of one afternoon!

Naruto thrust into the air the hand still wrapped around the pale wrist he hadn't let go of yet, nearly pulling the redhead attached to it off his feet in the process. "Baa-chan! Let me introduce you to my lovely fiancée, Gaara-chan!"

Gaara yanked his hand free and glared, annoyed by the feminine suffix.

"Kazekage-sama?!" Shizune seemed to be torn between frantically gathering the scolls she had dropped and frothing at the mouth.

Tsunade slapped her forehead. "Naruto! You idiot! You can't marry a guy!"

"No no no! You see, he's a girl!"

Tsunade stared at the blonde skeptically from between her fingers. She glanced at the redhead beside him who was busy glaring at the floor. "I don't know what got that idea into your head, Naruto, but I can assure you that Gaara is male." She had serve as his physician from time to time, after all.

"No no no! Gaara, tell her what you said!"

Sighing, Gaara crossed his arms. "Yes, I'm male, but biologically I can also serve as female."

Tsunade blinked. If she had missed the fact that Gaara was transgender, she wasn't the medic-nin she always thought she was.

"Y'see, the demons do weird things like that!" Naruto gestured ecstatically.

"Due to the nature of inter-demon relationships," Gaara elaborated as Tsunade kept frowning in confusion. "Shukaku, the natural omega is..."

"The chick!"

Gaara sighed, sounding defeated. "Well, all demons have the ability to fulfill both biological roles..."

"But I'm more powerful so I get to wear the pants'ttebayo!"

The redhead glared briefly.

Tsunade sat back down slowly. "So..." She looked the redhead up and down. "How do you know you can... reproduce in that way?"

Gaara glanced at Naruto askance; the blonde looked very uncomfortable suddenly.

"Well, uh..." he scuffed his feet and scratched his cheek. "We've kinda... done it before."

Tsunade jumped up again, not sure whether she was appalled more by the scandal or the simple possibility. "You're not pregnant now are you?"

The redhead blinked. "No... that was a long time ago. And we aborted immediately."

She glanced between the two of them, from Naruto's pensiveness to Gaara's unfazed expression. She felt out of the loop; Gaara and Narutos' friendship was a peaceful one that outsiders only glimpsed on the sidelines, and Tsunade had doubted from time to time that they were close at all. However, years of observing their interactions, regardless of how infrequent, had hinted at the deep relationship they kept so quiet. But she hadn't known they were that close.

"You really think you can pull off a marriage between two Jinchuuriki just to get a Kage position?"

"Yes," Gaara said simply. "All you need to do, as the current Hokage and a respected medic-nin, is sign the papers to back up the fact that I can bear offspring and therefore be classified as biologically female."

"Hmm..." hummed Tsunade. It was crazy enough she was tempted to try it. With Tsunade backing up Gaara's claim, they could circumvent all of the nasty laws against gay marriage. It was unorthodox, and would probably be met with resistance from the Council and villagers alike, but not impossible.

And if it worked, she'd be able to see Naruto fulfilling his dreams... and she could finally relax like her aged body told her she should.

"You're sure there's no one else?"

Gaara scowled; and Naruto shook his head.

She chewed her lip, and tapped her nails on the desk, looking at Gaara. "You're sure that you can... ? You realize I'll need proof before I make the report, right?"

Naruto blinked and started fidgeting again. He probably hadn't thought of that. "What kind of proof?"

Gaara frowned. "I'm sure I could convince Shukaku to oblige an examination."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "Right, well, in that case... what are your plans for juggling the Kazekage position?" That was the only real question she had left, bar the many, many medical ones the doctor in her was shaking in anticipation for.

"I'm retiring."

"Huh?" Naruto and Tsunade said in unison.

"Can't you work from here'ttebayo?"

"Who's going to fill the position? Some one has to run Suna!"

"We already went over this." Gaara growled at Naruto. As it had already been said, he didn't like having to repeat himself. "The Suna Council already runs the village on their own, they wouldn't notice— might be happy, even, if I were to step down."

Tsunade sighed softly. She had been discretely keeping an eye on the young Kage ever since his unexpected inauguration after the confusing times of the Sand-Sound invasion, and his administration had been riddled with bickering and blatant resistance to anything Gaara tried to do. Tsunade hadn't half the trouble he had, and she was still exhausted after only a couple years.

"I'm considering naming Kankurou my successor."

"Does that mean he has to get married, too?" Naruto scratched his head viciously, reeling from all the turnabouts the conversation had taken.

"That's a matter for later consideration."

"So, moving on, have you thought of the theme for the wedding yet?"

"Ramen!"

"Not food, theme, Naruto. White, perhaps? To keep it simple?"

"Orange!"

"No," Gaara shot that down with a glare. "Black and red."

"But it'd look like a funeral!"

"Precisely," Gaara smirked.

"If you can have black, I want orange!"

Tsunade groaned, rubbing the bridge of her nose. She was sure that the future held only headaches and frustrations for her. However, knowing Naruto, despite the pending disaster, he would miraculously end up on top, as usual.

End Note: I was going to put the wedding in here as well, but the chapter was getting so damn long, I decided to leave it off until the next.

Also, I'll be trying to keep this T rated... but I'm really bad at censuring my own work. And it always irks me when writers leave out a chapter because it's too smutty. So, they're all like, "Hey! Hey! If you wanna read that missing part between Chapter 22 and 24, you gotta follow this link!" But you never know if they're leading you onto a porn site, or to the devil, or what!

And I'm like, "Well, if you can cut out a chapter like that, is it even necessary to the story? Porn is all well and good, but if it don't fit, it don't belong!"

And... well, yeah. /End Rant/ To make a long story short, rating may go up in later chapters ('cuz I like da sex).