A/N: No, I am not going to make excuses for why not updating much much earlier. It would be a waste of time and I have no good reasons so ... I know this isn't the best I have written either but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway. It's not beta-ed, so you know my story about that too probably. I am going to make no excuses, and I am going to make no promises for future chapters. The only thing I can say that the next chapter will be for 'Heartbeats' and there's trouble coming up.
Much love, Veronique (aka GirlinTheCafe)
Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying
"We are going to have to get up eventually." Peyton's voice was whispering.
A mannish groan rose from beside her.
"I don't want to." Now it was a boyish complain.
"You're a lazy person Lucas Scott." Peyton turned her head to face him.
"I am not." He emphasised each word on a sort of heated whispering tone, minding the fact his little sister was lying in between him and his girlfriend.
A smile tucked on Peyton's lips, which didn't encourage Lucas to get up.
"I am very just tired." This time emphasising 'tired'.
"I am tired too, but we need to get up." Looking into those blue eyes of him.
"You didn't have to get up at six to get your sister out of bed because she was crying."
She poked her finger in his chest while being careful not to hit the brunette between them with her arm.
"First, Luke, she indeed is your little sister. Second, you insisted to get out of bed, afraid she would wake your mom up, who you want to spare for a little while out of guilt. Three, do I need to mention I wanted to get her but you wanted to get her yourself instead of me?"
An annoyed huff.
"You know what? I'll give the example." Peyton got out of bed, picking up the Bordeaux bathrobe and walked over to his side.
Softly she squatted down next to his side, her lips brushing lovingly against his. Almost immediately his hand came up to cup her cheek, trying to deep the contact to its maximum.
A low groan arose from his throat while his tongue begged for entrance he eventually got. Overenthusiastic he reached for her, ready to pull her atop of him and have his way with her but he was soon stopped.
"Lucas." Her voice, stern. "Lily." A sharp whisper, her finger pointing to the little girl beside him.
"I am going to do an attempt to make breakfast, are you coming?" Her voice reflected that she wouldn't tolerate no under any circumstances.
She walked out of the bedroom and left Lucas alone with his tiny sister that had opened her eyes again.
"Yes, she can be bossy." He said while running a finger over the brunette's cheek. "But usually, I don't mind."
He got out of bed, picked Lily up and walked them to the kitchen.
Breakfast was calm; the couple had agreed to let Karen sleep. Lucas' guilt made him want to do anything to make it easier on his mom.
Eventually Karen got up when they had just finished and were about to clear everything away when the older brunette appeared. She told them she would take over so Lucas and Peyton could get dressed. But not before mentioning Lucas should go to his job first thing.
Peyton first went to visit the bathroom, when she returned to Lucas' bedroom, she found him lying in the bed again, face down.
"Lucas Scott, you're behaving like a child." She said while pulling at the blankets underneath him.
A sad sound escaped him, awaking all of Peyton's senses at once.
"What's up Luke?" As she sat down next to him, her hand caressing through his beautiful thick hair.
Slowly he lifted his face off the pillow, his blue eyes giving her the 'kicked puppy' look. Instantly guilt kicked in.
"I shouldn't have been so harsh earlier. Sorry. I am not much of a morning person." Pressing a sweet kiss to his temple but he didn't seem to brighten at her apology.
"What's going on in that head of yours?" Again running a hand along his skull covered with blond hair.
"I really have a bad presentiment about today." He mumbled.
"Why?" Her question was soft like silk.
"I don't know. I just feel that way."
Silence, filled with thought of not knowing what to do, mostly invading Peyton's space of thinking.
Lucas buried his head into his pillow again, making Peyton feel helpless with his sudden broodiness.
Since words seemed to fail her, so she opted for physical comfort, letting her hand ran between his shoulder blades. She felt how his muscles tensed before he slightly pulled away.
"Hey Luke, don't do that!" She said, disappointed on a rather odd level, you couldn't exactly call it disappointment.
She saw how is body tensed further and again she felt guilty over her earlier reaction.
"Sorry baby." She said while climbing on the bed, shifting them around so he could rest his heavy head in her lap.
"Do you have these presentiments much?" Peyton felt like she sounded as a doctor.
"Not so often." He mumbled against her grey jeans. "But when I have, it's mostly not a good sign." He continued before she could.
"Like when?" She immediately regretted her question when the answer came.
"Like the school shooting, like when you left, like-"
"Sshh." She soothed him, her fingertips massaging the skin of his exposed temple. "Just tell me how bad it feels on a scale to ten."
A brief silent due to Lucas' considering.
"A six." He said, turning his head so he could look her in the eye. "A seven maybe."
Another moment of silence between the two lovers.
"Seven is a holy number Lucas. And God didn't create humans to lie in bed all day long." Not that she was into the religion thing that much or neither was he, but she had a point.
"Come let's get ready."
A half hour later Lucas parked his car outside of the place he had worked before he head left for Chicago. The moment he had helped Peyton out of the car, like the gentleman he was, a bunch of boys approached the couple.
'Lucas', 'Luke', 'Scott', 'Buddy', 'Broody', 'Pal'; the words just flew in the air like leaves during Autumn as they neared them.
"Damn, the girl's hot. I'd definitely like to f-"
"Beat it Jared." Another boy scouted at the boy with millimetre hair.
High-fives, fist bumping, manly hugs. The appreciation of having a friend back expressed in rather bodily behaviour, as it sometimes said more than words ever could. But something about them, about their behaviour was off key.
As Lucas embraced one of his older colleagues, he also saw something off key, a male brunette standing against the wall of the garage, far away from the men who welcomed him. Lucas didn't recognise him; his young with rough features didn't recall a memory in his mind.
As his grip loosened on the grey haired man, he saw his boss approaching and the look on his face wasn't good news.
"Hello Lucas." His voice was formal, which frightened Lucas even more, he used to be so cosy around his employees. And than came the hand extended to him, Lucas felt like his presentiment just had kicked him in the nuts.
Peyton felt his fingertips touch lightly against the rug of her hand. Within' seconds their hands were locked.
"It's good to see you back Scott."
Peyton felt her hand being squeezed tightly, it actually hurt a bit.
The next string of words got lost around them, Lucas didn't actually hear anything but his boss saying: "I have been glad that you worked for me so long, you were a very dedicated worker. Someone who could teach from day one, instead of needing to be taught. But I am afraid that there isn't room for you anymore in this dealership."
Peyton felt guilty, oh so guilty, as she saw his body slump for the corner of her eye. He had been dead on about what was eating him away not only hours ago.
"How am I going to tell my mom?" Lucas said in a small voice when they drove back after having sad goodbye to everyone.
Peyton softly covered his hand with the one she had let loosened from the steering wheel. She had found him way too upset to drive them back.
"Just tell her." It was the only thing that Peyton found reasonable to say. It's not that there were other options left.
"Peyton, she's probably going to-"
"Set you in the corner? Let you write pages full with 'The boss gave my job to a younger boy who needs money.'?" She glanced aside and noticed how his face fell.
"Okay, sorry. Maybe that was a little bit over the top. But baby it isn't your fault." Her hand again travelled to his.
"C'mon." She manoeuvred her hand so it was resting securely on the gear stick. She threw a gaze to his hand. The unspoken message to Lucas. Very gently he placed his left hand over her battered right one. Her knuckles were covered in this funny shade of purple.
Lucas felt responsible for all the hurt around them. His sister had her hands tapped because she had held onto a broken frame at night, missing her big brother terribly. His girlfriend had her right hand hurt with knocking it into his metallic save, being desperate for not finding anything to prove his love for her. And now he would hurt his mother with losing his job.
As Peyton stopped his Mustang before the house he had lived in since he was a baby, his heart missed a beat. He felt ashamed of himself, he felt lost and he felt broken in more than one way.
Lifeless he got out of the car. The way he walked beside her would look to any stranger passing by as the way a boy would walk after being punished.
They slipped into his room through the backdoor, once inside, Lucas didn't budge anymore. Peyton was already by the door that leaded to the hallway when she noticed he didn't follow. She turned around and walked back to him.
"Lucas." The whisper of her voice was as soft as a fleece plaid against his bare skin at night. Her hands cupping his face. "It's going to be alright." Looking deeply into his ocean blue eyes. To emphasis her message she pressed a light kiss to his lips.
Lucas brought his hand slowly up to cup her cheek, trying to deepen the contact, his tongue running along her bottom lip. Peyton parted her lips a bit when out of the blue there was a very faint knock on the door.
Both blonds soon broke their kiss. Peyton felt her boyfriend's pulse pick up and decided to answer the door.
As she crossed the room, she heard a loud sigh and a thump caused by Lucas falling back onto his desk chair. She opened the door, expecting a brunette looking into her eyes; instead she faced nothing but felt something tug on her jeans.
"Lily." She cooed, picking up the little girl. In the background she heard the noise of a laptop starting up. Peyton steadied the brunette against her body, the head falling to her shoulder, but not for long.
"Lucas." The toddler's voice echoed through the room. A soft smile appeared on Lucas' face.
"Hi Lily bear." He responded while watching how his baby sister wiggled strongly against his girlfriend.
The sound of the intro from Windows XP filled the room before the male blond was heard again.
"Come here." Extending his arms towards her. Peyton walked towards him, handing him his sister. Lucas settled her on his lap; the sigh of Lily was surely one of a satisfied girl.
For a few moments there was silence before Lucas broke it.
"Peyton?"
"Yes Luke?"
"Would you mind to leave me alone for a bit?"
Peyton's face spoke unhappy volumes but she also knew Lucas', he really was in need of some personal brood time.
"Okay." She forced a smile before pressing a kiss to his forehead and running her hand against Lily's cheek.
She left the room and walked into the kitchen to find Karen cleaning the stove.
"Hi Peyton. How did it go? Where's Lucas?"
Something must have changed on her face, because the look that was painted on Karen's face was far from content.
"I think there is something my son should inform me about by judging the look on your face and his absence in this room." She said; an icy edge on her normally always warm as a cooked meal voice.
"I am sor-" Peyton tried.
"Peyton, you don't have to apologise." She said before walking passed her.
Peyton didn't even have to guess where the brunette was going.
"Karen, Lucas wanted some time alone." She said following right after the elder woman.
"I am aware of that fact honey. But right now, I first need to talk to him, than he can be on his own as long as he wants."
Without even bothering to knock, Karen stormed inside.
"Lucas Eugene Scott!"
From the doorway Peyton felt like she was stomped into her stomach. She knew how much Lucas hated to be called like that. Even from where she was standing she could see his frame go all tense.
"Mom, I-" His defences were skyscrapers high, but the way he held Lily made Peyton almost believe he would use her as a shield against his mother's flood of words that was about to come.
"Hand Lily to Peyton. And we're going to talk about this in the living room."
Lucas wanted to protest but Karen would have none of it.
"Right now."
Lucas got up, his shoulders hanging down; his frame just spoke all sadness and defeat. He refused to look Peyton in the eye when he handed his little sister to her.
Mother and son walked out the door with an imaginary thunder cloud above their heads. When the door closed Peyton focused her gaze on Lily.
"What are we going to do little girl?" She asked the tiny brunette who gave her stare that reached beyond her. Her tiny arms reached out over Peyton's shoulder. The action caused the blonde to turn her head to. She saw where the little girl's attention went to. The laptop. It seemed like the only thing that could entertain her in this room full of adult things.
Peyton settled herself on the chair with Lily on her lap. Her finger uncomfortably moving over the touchpad. She had quickly decided that there should be something on this piece of technology. And she soon found what she wanted, 'Pinball'.
Peyton was sure that the colours and the noises would amuse Lily to no end. And it was true, Lily adored it. It didn't take long before she was wiggling on Peyton's lap, her tiny hands reaching out for the keyboard to catch Peyton's hands. But unfortunately for Lily, her hands couldn't reach further as the touchpad, where hands ended up ungraceful.
The laptop registered the touch and suddenly 'Pinball' disappeared and an Office Word document sprang open.
It wasn't an empty file but it was a file with black letters stringed into words, stringed into sentences. The cursor blinking in awareness.
Peyton couldn't help but let the words that looked so inviting, invade her mind.
Atop of the page paraded a title which said: 'The Comet'.
She was unable to tear her gaze away from the screen once the first sentence had her hold, the hold wouldn't loosen anymore.
She was so caught up with the intoxicating words that she hadn't heard the door open and someone walk in until that person was located right behind her back.
"Peyton?" The voice sounded shaky, emotionally loaded. Actually the voice sounded nothing like she remembered.
"What are you doing?" Her trance was broken by his alarmed tone.
"I am…" She couldn't exactly formulate it when she turned her head around and saw this expression in his eyes which was indicating hurt in some uncommon way.
"Why are you reading that?" Followed by a difficult swallow.
Confusion was like a mask on her face. She suddenly became aware of how she was pulling Lily closer to her, using her like the shield Lucas had done earlier.
"Lucas, I-" And than she spotted a name just beneath the title of the file. The name.
"I had no idea Luke. I-"
"Turn it off." His demand was nearly cruel.
"Luke?" Her voice was weak, she had no idea what was happening or going to happen because of it.
The loaded silence was broken by Lily's soft cry for Lucas. It seemed so out of place.
She didn't even get the chance to reach out for him because he had her in his secure arms as soon as she had asked for him.
Peyton looked up, her eyes built with fragments of silent hurt and unspoken nervousness. But most of all confusion over untold stories.
Lucas caught up with the look her eyes displayed.
"I need to get out of here." His voice was low.
"Alone?" Why did she sound like a little school girl?
She saw it in his blue eyes, with that word she had just made something snap inside of him.
"No. I'd like you to come with me." His tone was so much more as she remembered now.
"Come." The simple word almost made her heart sing. But the gesture that accompanied it, his free hand reaching out for her was what did it, made her hit the first note.
No word was spoken during the walk from Lucas' childhood home to the Rivercourt, excluding Lily's babbling from time to time and Lucas' quiet responding. But the silence wasn't as intimidating as the one in his bedroom. This one was briefer, more tolerant for interruptions.
Still they hadn't spoken a word since they had left the house when they sat down on the bleachers and Lily wandered around in front of them, Lucas' strict eye.
Than it happened, they both intended to say something but at the exact same time.
"You first." Lucas said.
"No you first." Came Peyton's nervous reply.
"No, ladies first." Lucas insisted, and for a flash of a second Peyton hated his 'always the gentleman' behaviour.
She forced a quiet smile on her lips.
"I don't really know what to ask about first. It would be the most appropriate to ask about your mom's reaction about losing your job at the dealership but I am more inter-"
"Interested in the part of what you saw on the computer."
Peyton turned in a funny shade of pink.
"Hey." His hand reached out to cup her cheek ever so gently. A thousand butterflies burst out of their cocoons in her belly just by this almost innocent gesture. "You don't have to be ashamed for that, I would be too." The look in his eyes was never this sweet.
A brief moment of quiet came over them.
"But I am going to tell you about what my mom said first through." He continued.
"Jackass." Peyton answered while slapping her hand against his upper arm. For a moment the seriousness of this happening was taken out of it. The joking around, the people who they used to be around each other.
He sent her a glare before starting to talk again.
"Well, my mom, she's pissed. I understand her, I am not too happy about losing my job either."
His eyes wandered off to Lily who was running around the concrete court.
"Because it means that I can't really 'afford' you. I can't take care of you. This makes me feel like I am not a real man."
"Oh honey, but you are a real man." She immediately responded, resting her chin on his shoulder, her hand roaming over his wide chest.
"No, Peyton, you know I don't mean it like that. I mean in the way a man supports his family, like the traditions. And without the job and the money, I send every responsibility back to my mom and I don't want her to support Lily, you and me."
He swallowed, hard.
"I really feel like a failure."
"Babe." Her voice was embracing.
"No, Peyton. I failed as a man. I have no back up system now. I can't support you."
Again she tried to protest but again he wouldn't let her.
"Don't say anything to disagree. You are not going to bring money in. I know what you have left financially and by the way, you have high school to finish."
That broke her need to say something so desperately.
Her eyes wandered over the empty basketball court. Only Lily occupied it, she was still wandering around like a little lost girl.
"Lucas." Her voice was even sweeter than candy.
"If you could only imagine what a support you are to me. I wouldn't be who I am right now without your support. You being there in the most difficult passages of my life, there, holding my hand. Sometimes literal, sometimes figural. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you, for what you could do for me. What you can make me believe. What you make me want to be. What you convinced me of is the rest of my life, the life I want, as long as I can have your supporting hand in mine."
Lucas smiled. His hands came up to gently to cup her beautiful face. Their lips met in a feather light contact. Than another and another.
His lips were so supple, soft and pleasant against hers. His tongue was so warm and teasing when it ran along her lower lip. It made her wonder how she could have gone without him for so long. How could she not have remembered how much of a good, no correction, great kisser he was?
But now she had all the time to regain all the lost time as their kisses turned more passionate. His tongue was avidly exploring every crook of her mouth when he broke of the kiss as he felt a tug at his pants.
He looked down and saw his younger sister standing right in front of him with questioning eyes. The stare in her deep chocolate brown eyes made him almost blush, he kind of felt caught.
"Hi Lily bear." He placed the tiny girl in his lap which seemed to satisfy her extremely. Without any delay her, with brown hair covered, head fell against his chest and her arms tried to hug him at her best.
Peyton was softened by the picture before her. The love between this brother and sister was so deep; it effortlessly bridged the wide age difference, because they knew they would grow up practically the same.
A single mother, one man to protect and love and memories of a father which are too painful to take in.
"I love you for your little speech baby. But that speech won't let food appear on the table."
"I know. It was worth the try through." She said, a faint smile tugging on the corners of her coral lips.
She started at his face, so intensely.
"I guess you want to hear about what you saw on the laptop right?" Lucas almost whispered as he stroked through Lily's thick hair.
"Yes." Came her short reply. "If you want to tell me at least." She added.
"Well." He began hesitantly. It all wasn't so easy, he was about to expose his whole soul for her, all over again.
"It all started the night I had 'the dream' about you."
The already infamous dream by now.
"I always loved literature, in so many forms. And I used to write poems occasionally in high school but never brought it further than that. Until that dream."
He took a second to breathe in deeply.
"And that dream awaked so much more in me than my obvious need for you."
The sentence made Peyton blush slightly, a pink shade creep upon her cheeks.
"It awakened such an inspiration. The muse I never had to do something with an unpolished skill I clearly seemed to master was awakened. And from that day on, I have just written when the moods strike. When I happen to catch the words that are always swimming under my skin like in an ocean."
Peyton was amazed, even beyond amazed. The power with which he spoke about this, it was as deep as Pete and the boys used to talk about their music. Maybe it was even deeper. He was so passionate. A fire in a human body. A fire, she didn't believe, she had awakened.
"What's the story about?" She dared to ask, breathless like he had left her.
"It's about a boy." His voice, it could have made her cry.
"About a boy who sees a comet one day. And that comet brings meaning to his life and it disappears again and he'll waits his entire life for it to return even he knows the chance isn't likely."
And now she couldn't help the few tears that decided to roll over her cheeks.
"It's." She sniffed lightly. "Beautiful."
Her hazel eyes found his blue ones. His were watery too.
"I think we need to go."
After a quick stop by the house to drop Lily of and get changed from outfits, Lucas and Peyton now stood in front of Tree Hill High.
His big hand lay soothing on the small of her back. Her nervousness had assaulted every muscle in her body. They all were like concrete now.
The noise of her high heels against the concrete and later on the tile on the floor of the hallway made her desperately want to throw up. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this nervous. Or maybe she did …
As the couple sat down in front of Principal Turner's office Peyton began to worry about her clothing. She felt like her black pants were a strait-jacket and her white blouse and black cropped vest prevented her from breathing. She was trying to hard, or wasn't she?
Lucas noticed his girlfriend's pained breathes beside him. Gently he rested his head against the side of her face, mumbling soothing words into her ear as his lips weren't busy giving her little kisses.
"You sure you're fine?"
The question would never get an answer as the door from the office opened.
"Miss Sawyer and Mister Scott, long time no seen." Principal Turner over his hand to them after he guided them inside the room.
Peyton mumbled something that should represent 'hello'. She suddenly felt so ashamed, so little.
"If I understood clearly over the phone you'd like to redo the last year of high school here so you can get your degree, Peyton?"
"Yes sir." She sounded insecure too.
"Why the sudden interest?" Was Peyton only imagining the disgust hidden in his voice?
"I have no bright future for a job without it and I'd hope to get a college degree in a few years." Her answer came quiet. God, what did she hate it to feel weak.
"Okay. There are some tests there for the major subjects. I'd like you to fill them in the best as possible so we can evaluate them to see if your knowledge is the same as the ones who start the last year of high school this September."
And now she felt like a teenager too.
"You can take them in silence in my office. I'd like to discuss something with Mister Scott."
Lucas didn't know what hit him as the principal leaded him outside and he was forced to leave Peyton behind in this terrible state.
"Principal Turner, you have no right to judge her for the way she left. She was young and lonely and she really thought it was her best option and-"
He was interrupted by the older man.
"Lucas, I didn't want to talk about that with you. I'd rather discuss something about you."
"Me?"
"Yes, you. Would you be interested to work for this school?" The black man asked while they paced through the familiar halls of his former school.
"Which work?" They rounded a corner.
"A teaching position."
"But Sir, I have no teaching degree."
"I am aware of that."
Before Lucas could even ask another question the principal had continued.
"I would like to offer you to offer you the job as coach of the Tree Hill Ravens." As they stood in the doorway of the gym he used to play basketball.
Lucas stunned and speechless. A nice combination.
"I-"
"I know you are unemployed at the moment. News travels fast in small towns like ours. And I talked to Whitey, he recommended you to me actually. It was a tragic way how you had to leave basketball behind with your HCM but I am sure the fire you had for it never died and I'd like to offer you the job because I know you won't screw it up."
"I don't know how to thank you Sir." His voice echoed in the empty gym. Memories came flooding back, sadness and victory. Love and hate.
"If you could convince your brother to join you too, I'd be a very happy man Lucas."
Lucas didn't know how to react.
"I offered Nathan the job a few months ago but he wouldn't do it alone he said. He was very hesitant back than. He told me he couldn't really combine it with his son. Maybe he changes his mind now."
Lucas smiled; Nathan had become the best man he knew. Better than he ever had given him credit for.
"Lucas, you and your brother are legends around here. And this team, they would benefit of your acknowledge. So what do you think?"
"I'll take it."
"Welcome in Tree Hill High." As they shook hands.
"Welcome back."