Title: More Than Fake
Author: Etsuko O. Daikama

Rating: T
Category: Romance/Drama
Pairing(s): NxM

Disclaimer:Even when my days are cold or when my days grow old. Even if I threaten Tachibana with my malice, I would still not own Gakuen Alice.
Summary: Her happiness was never fake; it was always real. Even though she had it hard, her true happiness remains. NxM

Notes: May contain OCCness.

12. Smile Like That

It was unbelievable. It was unfair. She was always happy while he was the one who got hurt. Happiness. It was something he wanted to possess but couldn't. With all the things he has been through, there's no way that he could stay happy. With all the painful burdens on his shoulders, it was difficult to have a smile on his face, the pile of heavy burdens kept piling over and over.

It wasn't fair.

All she had to do was get a box of Fluff Puffs or maybe one piece of that mouth-watering treat and she'll be the happiest person alive. Her smile would be worn from ear to ear and a giggle would emit from her parted lips before she took a bite of the delicious candy.

For him, happiness was something he couldn't obtain no matter how hard he strives to reach for it. He just couldn't get it into reach. He still treasures the memories he has that happened before he entered the school. The school that made him into something he didn't want to be; a murderer.

Every word he heard from the people around him; spitting insults at him or on the land he walks on. It's not like he wanted it to be like that; he was forced into something--or someone he didn't want to be. He wanted to be that boy who laughed at the silliest jokes, even though they were pretty cheesy. He wanted to laugh so freely.

Why can't he?

Why can't he have happiness?

Was it because of the darkness that surrounded him and made him its captive? If that was so, why can't he escape? He wanted to escape; he needed to escape the never-ending darkness that consumed him when he was little boy.

His ears perked up when he heard tiny footsteps making their way towards him. A soft voice shouted his name, "Natsume!" The voice was enchanting. Something so soft like a beautiful melody that was playing in his ears. He loved the way she said his name. The way it rolled off her tongue so smoothly; it was a beautiful song that he always wanted to hear.

Even though he was jealous of the girl's happiness, he could never loathe her. As much as he tried to deny the fact that he was slowly starting to like her as a friend, the stronger the liking became. And soon his liking that was made for a friend became romantic feelings for the young girl.

He admitted it once that he liked her, mentally that is. He would never say it aloud where everyone can hear; but it has been stirring inside him to burst out the truth that he romantically likes the pig-tailed girl that was his partner.

Occasionally, when he'll drift off into Wonderland, he'll get dreams that he'll carve 'Natsume x Mikan' into every desk to show that Mikan was his and only his. One who rebels against his orders will face dying consequences. That's where his Alice came in handy.

Something poked his shoulder. Poke. Poke. He felt it again and it was already driving him insanely mad. Even though his eyes were closed, he had a scowl on his face to show whoever the unlucky person that was poking him, that he was not happy. But he questions, whenever was he?

"Natsume," that soft voice sang into his ear. His scowl softened a bit when he heard her voice saying his name, yet that scowl was still there. He felt her finger poke into his shoulder again. Poke. Poke."Wake up, Natsume, I want to ask you something."

Her finger was near to poking him once again, but he caught her wrist before she could irritate him any longer. He slowly opened his eyelids and revealed his crimson red eyes that were boring into the girl's soul. "What do you want?" he asked bleakly.

She struggled to get her wrist free but his grip was too tight. She used her free hand to try to get his grasp off her. She pulled one of his fingers off her skin; but it was complicated to even lift his finger. She used most of her strength to move at least one of his fingers, but when she did, he would always curl it back around her wrist.

"Can you let me go?" Mikan asked as she still attempted to break free from his clutches. Yet, he didn't let go. His eyes weren't looking at his hands like her eyes were, his eyes were looking intently at the girl. As if he was studying her features.

Auburn hair that swayed perfectly with the wind but was tied into two pigtails. Big chocolate-brown eyes that held a glint of happiness, and right now, determination. Peach skin that was painted beautifully all over her body and a rosy pink color that was lightly brushed against her cheeks. Her lips that were a darker shade of pink; it looked slightly wet. Maybe she was drooling earlier.

"Natsume!" she yelled as she tried and tried to lift one of his fingers off her. Salty, warm sweat was forming into little beads that was slowly running down her face. "Can't you let me go?"

Almost immediately, he answered, "Yes." He inwardly smirked when he saw her pout because she worked hard on getting his thumb removed from her wrist, now it was back on her skin again. His fingers were brushed lightly against her flesh and felt so smooth and soft, like it was fragile as glass. Too delicate to be broken.

"Then, why don't you?" Mikan asked and tried to pull her arm to her side. If lifting his fingers one-by-one wouldn't work, might as well try to get out fully. Her back was arching backwards and her free hand was on her arm that was held captive by Natsume's grip.

Her nails were digging into her skin, painfully. She felt it going in too deep and let her hand off her arm because she bleeds. "Smile," she heard his voice say. She stopped her horrible attempt at escaping from his grip and looked back at him, confused.

"What did you say?" she asked. Her eyes twinkled with innocence and her cheeks that were tinted with rosy pink was now fading away. Her lips were slightly parted and a bit bruised, it must have been because she was biting lip while trying to escape.

She heard him sigh and spoke again, "I don't like repeating myself." She tilted her head to her right, innocently. Maybe she wasn't getting it still. "Smile, idiot."

Instead of a smile like he requested, he heard her laugh. Now it was his turn to be confused. "I just remembered this one joke Tsubasa-sempai told me," Mikan said and held her stomach with her free hand. His cold stare softened a bit when he heard her laughter.

Soft melody that was singing beautifully into his ears. A song that he wanted to play over and over again. "Want me to tell you?" Mikan asked eagerly and leaned in closer to Natsume. Their faces were almost inches away.

"No," he answered and let go of her wrist that she was trying to set free earlier.

As if she completely ignored him, she started telling him the joke anyway, "OK," she giggled. "It goes like this..." Every once in a while, she would pause because her laughter took over before she could speak another word. Natsume didn't care; he was too busy staring at the girl that couldn't hold her gut in for one second.

He inwardly smiled.

Someday, he'll laugh like that.

He'll smile like that.

A/N: I planned this to be short. It still seems slightly rushed in some areas though. Darn it... Well, I haven't finished that one-shot that I have been working on for nearly a week. It's really irritating because it's not going the way I want it to be. D8

So I have to finish the rest of that certain one-shot and then proofread. That's going to be a while... -groans- I'm making a themed story for no reason at all. I was just completely and utterly bored. Most of my happy stories were caged by some dramatic/action story. I want to write one for Gakuen Alice, but it's going to be harder. Maybe I could write something about Natsume's missions. I don't know...

I've been trying to practice my writing recently; y'know, trying to get it more detailed and all. I don't know if I'm failing at that or succeeding. -shrugs-

- Etsuko O. Daikama (is now going to eat you all! XD)