Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Monday: PMS

Sakura woke up to the familiar feeling of the beginnings of a cramp in her gut. "Oh damn…"

"Sakura? Are you okay in there?"

"Yeah, just fine Sasori!"

"It's 10 o' clock already. Everybody's in the kitchen having breakfast."

"Okay! I'll be there in a minute!"

"Are you sure you're alright? If you wanted I could-"

"Sasori, I'm fine, okay? I'm not some spoiled, weak little girl you need to protect and pamper 24/7!" Her voice suddenly sounded annoyed.

"I didn't say you were weak. It's just that you don't usually sleep in this late and we were just worried-"

The door swung open to reveal a very angry Sakura. Her hair was tousled and her light pink pajamas ruffled. "Are you saying that I can't take care of myself? That I'm always making you guys worry because I'm not as strong, or tough, or have some freaky bloodline shit?"

"I think you're a very strong kunoichi, it's just that it's past the time that you're usually up and-"

"Oh my god, you're right, and I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have exploded at you like that! You were only looking out for me. I feel so horrible." She looked like she was about to cry. Now it should be said that while most females had no problems with their periods, Sakura was not that lucky. During her cycle, she had mood swings, which usually caused havoc for anyone unlucky enough to not know how to deal with a… well, very sensitive Sakura. Not to mention the extreme cramps that does absolutely nothing to help her control. Usually she could keep her mood in line, but Sasori had caught her by surprise.

"It's fine," Sasori said, slightly awkward. "Let's go downstairs. Everyone really will get worried if we stay up here any longer."

"Okay…" Sakura quietly and almost embarrassedly walked out of her room and followed Sasori down the hall to the kitchen. He sat down at his chair at the table and followed her with his gaze as she walked over to get cereal from the cupboard. Reaching up to get one of the boxes on the shelves, an extremely painful cramp tore through her body, making her gasp and collapse onto the ground. The kitchen turned eerily silent as all eyes were once again watching her every move. Using one hand to grip the counter to support herself, Sakura slowly straightened up until she was standing again, albeit a bit wobbly and still leaning on the countertop. Her other arm was wrapped around her petite waist.

"You alright?" Kisame asked.

Sakura looked over the faces of the Akatsuki men, all of them clearly worried. She gave them a weak laugh and said, "Don't worry so much. I'm fine. It's just a girl problem."

"Don't tell me you're fucking PMS-ing!" Hidan groaned.

Green orbs narrowed and she was having a bit of a hard time keeping hold of her temper. She really should be prepared for comments like that from Hidan, though. "Yes, I am 'fucking PMS-ing'," she hissed, cramp forgotten. She stalked forward, gripping the edge of the table, and everyone leaned back a little. So much for preparation. "Is there something you wish to say about it, Hidan?" The glare she shot at him nearly made him shiver. Her grip on the wooden edge tightened and the poor table began to splinter beneath her massive strength. Kakuzu glared at the Jashinist for pushing Sakura so far as to ruin a perfectly good table.

"N-no?" Hidan choked out.

"Good," and with that, Sakura smiled and turned around, going back to the opened cupboard. Reaching up and finding empty space where her favorite cereal usually stood, she immediately spun around again. She scanned the group of Akatsuki members before settling her gaze on a certain orange masked man with a bowl of colorful cereal sitting in front of him. She walked dangerously over to the table, head down and hair covering her face. "Tobi, where is my Cap'n Crunch?" she asked, her voice quiet and low.

Tobi, who somehow found a way to eat without removing his mask, frowned a bit, though no one could see. "I'm sorry, Sakura-san. I think I'm eating the last of it…"

"You ate my Cap'n Crunch?"

"Yeah…" He was considerably nervous now. "Tobi is a good boy!" he squeaked.

Sakura's fist crashed into the table, breaking it in half. Kakuzu looked at the table halves mournfully. Lifting her head to shoot a death glare at Tobi, she growled, "Never eat my Cap'n Crunch…" and then, picking up what was left of Tobi's cereal and milk, she tossed the his spoon out and grabbed a clean one from the sink. "You don't mind if I take this, do you Tobi?" she asked sweetly.

"N-not at all! T-Tobi is a good boy!" he stuttered.

"Good, because I love my Cap'n Crunch and I don't know what I'd do without it!" Still smiling, Sakura walked out of the kitchen and into the living room with Tobi's breakfast, leaving seven very shocked Akatsuki members in the room.

Itachi walked in. "What happened?" he asked, looking around.

"Sakura," Zetsu said simply.

Itachi's brow furrowed in slight confusion. "Oh."

I plan on making this like a series of oneshots. They're not necessarily going on the same timeline (like, the characters might act slightly differently or the mood will change completely.) so the days are not actually part of the same week, but I've already got most of it planned out, for once. It's generally akatsaku, but certain stories may focus more on one couple. In fact, I think that most of the stories are going to be like that. I don't think I'm very good at humor and the only way I can improve is by feedback, so review please!

-Red