Passing Strangers

Good bye my almost lover

I'm trying not to think about you

When I wake up, the sunlight feels like Heaven on my skin. Warm and inviting. Golden rays wrapping their arms around my body. Seeping deep down in there to stain my marrow. I sit up and stretch my arms over my head. Inviting it to take over my whole body. For a moment I think I'm alone.

Then I remember last night.

I turn to my right. Kakashi is already up. Sitting up in bed, bare with the covers pulled up to his waist. Lazily flipping through the pages of a book. I'm fascinated with him all over again. Watching the methodical way his dark eyes scan every line. Revealing nothing. And yet last night I had seen something in him. Felt something.

That was for sure.

The sunlight looks beautiful on him. Making his vanilla skin glow. Making me want to reach out and touch him. And pull that beautiful light down to me. I stick my fingers in my mouth and gently bite down to control myself. There will be time for that later, Kurenai, I chide myself. Right now, I just want to watch.

His hair is sticking up in all directions. A bed head reminiscent of last nights misadventures through the bed covers. I can still feel those silver strands in my fingers. Silver like magic. Like stardust. Starlight catching the sunshine and holding on tight, letting it leap through each individual strand.

I can make out each color that makes up the silver. A few white pieces, some darker gray ones. A few strands falling down into his bare face. His mask is down and I can't help but stare at him. No matter how many times I see it, I always marvel at how beautiful he is. Always.

Kakashi turns his face just slightly to look at me. Chin titled up in that dangerous way that's so attractive to me. And there's something sly in his eyes. I get the feeling that he's known all along I was staring at him.

For some reason this makes me a little embarrassed. I feel a warm red blush spread across my cheeks. The slightest smile turns up the corner of his mouth. He lowers his eyes and folds down the corner of the page in the book he's reading. Slowly. Meticulously. Making sure to crease it good. I know he's stalling. Trying to drive me crazy waiting for him to touch me. And it's working.

By the time he closes the book I feel ready to explode. He places it neatly on his lap. Then, he turns, looks at me, and reaches out for me. I feel one strong hand at the base of my spine, the other grabbing my hand. Kakashi loops his fingers around mine, intertwining them, and pulls me like that close to him. I hold on tight, and the connection of our fingers feels so strangely intimate that it gives me chills.

He leans down, lets his lips brush my fingertips, and smiles, showing dimples that he's secretly insecure about. Something to do with his masculinity.

He says. "Hi."

Somehow, it' not so odd that he says 'Hi 'instead of 'Good morning'. Kakashi is different from most other men, from most other people, in ways so insignificant that you can't help but notice. Everything he does is a little off like that. But so right. It's the quirks that make me want/love him. Whichever one it is.

I caress his fingers softly, slowly, smoothly. Not to rush anything. Just because I'm hungry for him. Dreamed all night of touching him, while he slept peacefully beside me. Probably thinking on other things.

I watched him sleep until my own eyelids got too heavy, and then submitted myself. He is a cherubim in his sleep. Face so peaceful. Relaxed. Content. And I loved it that I had satisfied him. Something that could never be the other away around. Because I am sure now that I can never get enough of him.

I still want him now. So bad it hurts, and I understand why junkies get so addicted. When it feels good you can't let go. You just can't stop. Strangely though, watching him sleep gives me a sort of haze of semi satisfaction. With his eyes closed, Kakashi seems so vulnerable. Like a child. A face he'd never be open enough to show to anyone when awake.

I wrap my arms around his waist.

Say "Hi, yourself." And smile.

His skin is so warm. I put my face against his stomach. Relax against those taut muscles. Kiss his belly button softly. He doesn't react, but I can feel his eyes on me. He still smells like last night's love. And I feel another flutter of excitement. I want to wrap myself up in his skin. I trace his belly button softly with my fingertip. A light circle and hear him take a deep breath. Something inside me shudders. I want him closer. I need him closer.

I look up into his face. He only has one eye open. The brown one. I know it's because the left one intimidates people. Past lovers. He told me. It's the color. It's the scar. Which is so vivid up this close to his face. His mouth sets in a taut line when I reach up and caress that thick line of raised flesh. Smooth it over.

For some reason I wish it was a part of me. Or may'be its just because I'm wishing he was a part of me. Or may'be it feels like he is. He opens the left eye and now he's staring at me directly. His face seemingly asymmetrical because one iris is red and the other brown.

I stare between the two sides of his face. His expression is enchanting. Filled with so much tenderness. I can see straight through him. Be lost in his eyes. Let that gentle gaze bathe me. I feel the heat starting in the base of my stomach when he leans down and kisses me lightly. And when he pulls away the feel of his soft lips lingering, I know that I have to have him.

I reach for the blanket separating me bare as Eve from him my bare skinned Adam. Kakashi watches me with a slight smile that's just short of triumphant as I slowly move the blanket down. He stares straight at me. Right through me. He's watching my hands, watching my face. And I want him to see what I want in my eyes.

He watches me throw the blanket off. The book closed and forgotten falling to the floor. And I can visibly see that he wants it. But when I reach to take him in my hands, he takes my fingers and gently pushes them elsewhere.

I frown. He smiles.

"I have to go to work." He says.

'You're always late for work." I remind him.

"I know…." He begins. "but I have to.." Suddenly, I remember. And I cut him off.

"I get it." I snap. Sharper than necessary may' be, but he doesn't react. And I don't expect him to. But it still makes me angry. I scoot away from him and turn my face to the wall. Studying the big plastic cat shaped clock Asuma got me last whatever holiday he bothered with a gift.

I hate cats.

I sniff. I don't want to cry. But right now…

Kakashi leans over me. His face burrows in my neck like a groundhog searching for refuge. I fold my arms. His voice has that raspy-ness that comes from just waking up. I smell me on his breath when he kisses my earlobe and says. "I'll make breakfast."

Asuma never makes breakfast.

I sit at my own kitchen table swinging my feet. It's weird having Kakashi in my kitchen. Standing at the stove, half dressed, nursing steam as it drifts upwards like kindred spirits from a serene frying pan.

The sizzling makes me happy. Takes me back to minor years living with Mom and Dad. And other strangers. And I can smell turkey bacon. Because that's the only bacon I have in my house. I wonder if he notices. I rest my chin on my hand and watch him.

Cooking seems beyond a man like Kakashi. So masculine. And passive- aggressive. But he's working two pans at once. Smoke, the ambience, the muscles in his thick forearms flexing slightly as he flips spatulas.

Feeling my eyes on him, Kakashi turns his head and smiles at me and says. "What are you looking at?" I spit my tongue out at him. He chuckles and I can't remember the last time I loved someone's smile so much.

Kakashi flicks off the stove. A final sputter of grease from the bacon bubbles up to greet his arm. He doesn't flinch. Just curses and rubs at the tender spot before flipping the breakfast onto a few plates and turning to face me.

And it makes me smile.

With somewhat of a flourish, he sits bacon, eggs, and a blueberry pancake down in front of me, says "Bon appetite." And kisses my forehead.

I think about what it would be like waking up to Kakashi every morning. And I wish I could freeze this moment forever in some tangible way. Like breakfast.

He's just having orange juice. Which he sips slowly, methodically. The way he does everything for the most part. And I smile. Knowing that I've exclusively seen beyond that stoic mask. Passion turns him into an animal.

The food is good. I eat hungrily. Forgetting myself, but Kakashi doesn't seem to mind. When I look up, he's staring at me with that tenderness again. I wonder what he's thinking when he looks at me like that. I reach out for him and he takes my hand. I loop my fingers around his wrist and feel his heart beating. Fast. I want to dance to that rhythm.

Time escapes us. The morning is almost gone. I almost want to forget about work. But I know I can't. And Kakashi can't either. He holds me tight when we shower together. Stroking my hair. Like he never wants to let go. And watches me intensely as I get dressed.

When we get out of the door I can't help but feel a sense of dread. Feeling him escaping me. Heading for the training field I hold onto his hand. Tightly, like nothing can pull me away. Even though I know better. I want to be with him. I need his love. I wonder what he feels. Miss his passion already.

And the more I think about it, the tighter I squeeze his hand. Its only slightly surprising that he squeezes back just as hard. We walk in silence. I try to match his footsteps. Hold onto the feeling of him being a part of me.

When his tiny little apartment comes into view he drops my hand. I feel my stomach sink down to my feet. Kakashi keeps walking, but I hang back. Watching his easy gait. His hands lost in his pockets. Already I'm feeling withdrawal. Already.

I wait until he goes up the steps and knocks casually on the door before I start walking again. Keeping it slow, casual. The apartment door opens. Anko's waiting for him. Wearing a bra and his boxers. I overhear him tell her it was an overnight mission again. Avert my eyes when he kisses her.

Pick up the pace.

But she notices me anyway. Looks over his shoulder and waves at me cheerfully.

"Hey there, Kurenai. Good morning." I think of Kakashi saying 'Hi', his fingers in mine. I swallow hard. Manage to raise my arm stiffly. Force my voice out. A hollow

"Hi."

Kakashi turns around, now. His arm is looped possessively around Anko's waist. She's so close to him she could be the vest he's wearing. Her fingers through the belt loops in his pants. Dangerously close to the place he had pushed me away from.

There's no tenderness in his eyes, now. Nothing. The left one is hidden by his forehead protector. The right is empty. Heavy lidded and empty. He says flatly in that bored tone he usually uses with everyone but me and her

"Good morning, Kurenai."

Good morning.

I force a smile, but don't feel it. Feel clumsy. Out of place. As empty as his stare. I taste blueberry pancakes in the back of my throat. I say like a robot programmed to just the right channel.

"Good morning, Kakashi."

He nods and I move even faster now. On towards the training field. Remembering his arms around me.

His soft lips.

Struggling to remind myself that in broad daylight to him

I'm just a passing stranger….

And thats it guys. Hope you liked. If you haven't noticed, meaning if you haven't read any of my other fanfics, Kakashi is my favorite Naruto character, so most of the stories I post on the site will be about him. If you however would like to make a request, I'm all ears. . And also I am an avid supporter of KakaAnko. So that explains the Kakashi Anko bit...yeah so, I was originally planning to make this one longer. I just wanted to test it out first and see the response I get. If you'd like more chapters of this story please message me or review and say so or something. And lastly as for the future the next fic I publish will more than likely be a SasuSaku one. I just might do a KakaSaku too. If I get enough requests for it. Because that pairing disgusts me and it will take a lot of persuading. In the meantime happy floating in the fanfic world. Til we meet again. .