Title: What if…

Summary: This is kinda song-fic for Kate Winslet's "What if" and my vision of how the events in 3.15 "Time is on my side" should have developed. I don't want anyone to die, unless they are really, really evil. I changed timeline a little bit - Dean visited Bela in her motel room not the day her deal was due but three days earlier. And… and she never went to shoot them. Instead… well, just read!

The story starts a couple hours later after Dean's visit to Bela's motel room.

Spoilers: Season 3, mainly 3.6 "Red sky at morning", 3.10 "Dream a little dream of me" and 3.15 "Time is on my side"

Characters: Dean, Sam, Bela, Ruby (maybe some other demons but they are minor)

Disclaimer: If they were mine do you think Season 3 could ever end like that?! Do you think it would ever end at all?

Note: All mistakes are mine, please be compassionate and remember that it is illegal to kill people no matter what :)

What if I had never let you go?

Would you be the man I used to know?

If I'd stayed,

If you'd tried,

If we could only turn back time…

Red and green neon sign near "Desert Bay Motel" flickered in the darkness changing from "Vacancy" to "No Vacancy" every half a minute.

Whistling under his nose, Dean Winchester crossed the parking lot, fished out the motel room key from the pocket of his black leather jacket and unlocked the door. Coming back to the same place for three days in a row almost made him feel like home.

Some feeling in the back of his mind which he considered to be intuition made him pause for a moment before entering the room. Something was wrong… something…

The curtains! He left the curtains open several hours ago and now they were shut tight again. Dean sighed in relief. That must have been Sammy boy and his damn attempt to always struggle for solitude and privacy. Which, of course, had a point. Like, say, scare the hell out of his older brother. Dean chuckled silently, still feeling his heart pounding fast in his chest.

"Hello, Dean," a voice that he would never ever be able to forget in his entire life called out for him from the darkness.

It took Dean not more than a second to reach into the inner pocket of his jacket, pull out a gun and aim it at her.

Bela Talbot in person was sitting on the chair in the middle of the room right in front of the door. Sitting like for quite a while already, Dean decided, considering she looked pretty comfortable which should have taken time to get to as her Hilton and Ritz standards were running low here, in this cheap roadside motel.

Dean couldn't help but notice that even in this cheap roadside motel she looked like a queen on a ball, all beautiful and elegant with her sea-green eyes cold as North Atlantic. Lips twisted in semi-smile, waves of dark blond hair falling on her back and shoulders covered with black leather coat, she looked at him like there was no gun in his hand pointed straight into her heart. One movement and she is history. She knew it. And she even might be caring but she definitely didn't look like she did. Not a single bit.

Looking at Bela it was still hard to believe what he learned from Rufus about her past. At first Dean thought that Bela was just a spoilt, self-centered and greedy bitch. Even when she shot Sam because he was the only Dean's weak spot he still refused to believe that she was a cold-hearted murderer. But then… No wonder that damn ghost ship that caused so much trouble for Sammy and him came for her. What surprised him more was why something supernatural like that never came for her earlier? Retribution from above. Or was she just smart enough to avoid being killed and punished for what she did? Dean always though that he was good – meaning really good! – at reading people but Bela Talbot was like a bundle of surprises! He was confused having mixed feeling of pity and disgust about her. And right now, this very moment, least of all he wanted to see her anywhere near him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Eyes never leaving her, Dean shut the door behind his back and started circling her around prepared to pull a trigger any moment. Just give me a chance, he thought. "How did you get in here?"

"All charm and manners as always," as if feeling Dean's intentions Bela followed him only with her gaze not daring to move. "If you don't want any unexpected guests on you territory you should live behind something more serious then a cardboard."

He crossed the poorly furnished room and first checked the insides of a small night table at the window. Then he moved to the wardrobe where small safe – Bela checked that, too, - was hidden between the shelves. In her opinion it wasn't even funny – the attempt itself to try and break the code would ruin her reputation… like, forever! And Dean… could he be so much crazy to place anything really valuable in there?

Satisfied with the fact that nothing was missing, Dean slammed the wardrobe door and raised his eyebrows at her expressing genuine surprise. Though he couldn't help but remind himself to have another check the next moment she'd left. That would be in half a minute at most.

"Did you really expect a welcome party, or what? Sorry to disappoint you, babe. I didn't have enough time to miss you. Now get your ass out of my room before I changed my mind."

"Old ploy. Are you really gonna shoot me?"

"Try me!"

"You won't," Bela said without hesitation. "You never kill people, remember? Winchester's rule."

"Don't flatter yourself. That's people we're talking about!" He pointed out. "What does it have to do with you?"

Bela sighed struggling with the wish to close her eyes in an attempt to ease the pain. Dean's words were like sharp knifes digging into her body, into her very heart – she had the heart, no matter what he was saying or thinking or… whatever. Instead, she was sitting there, before him, all confidence and self-control, with her chin up, looking straight into his eye. She had nothing to lose anyway, although Bela kept on wondering once in a while what was gonna happen with her deal if anyone – she still preferred it wasn't Dean Winchester – killed her before her deal was due. Not that she was expecting to get to Heaven if there was no deal at all; that was way too naïve. But was there a point for the demons to come and claim her soul from the Hell if she was in the Hell?

"You are not shooting unarmed," she said dryly, holding up her hands. "I came here just to talk to you."

"Unarmed?" Dean narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Do you really want me to believe you don't have… any cold weapon somewhere on your body? Oh, come on! I bet my last 50 cents that you never walk out the door without arsenal! There are too many people around wanting you to stop doing that. I mean walking… breathing… living." He shrugged his shoulders. "I know that. I'm one of them."

Utter despise in his voice made Bela clench her teeth and take a deep breath.

"I need to talk to you," her voice was calm and cool.

"Really?" He inclined his head a little bit. "Well, I don't! Go away, Bela. And don't forget to close the door."

Bela ignored his words. She rose to her feet – cautiously – and made two small steps towards him, arms crossed on her chest, looking in his face. She knew she wouldn't be surprised if he pulled the trigger now. Like she wouldn't have been if he did it earlier in her motel room. He didn't, though she saw he wanted it badly. Now that was a surprise!

"I came to offer you a deal." She mastered a lopsided smile. "Rumors are you're good at them."

Dean grinned.

"You still believe everything you hear? How sweet! Rumors are Grinch stole Christmas and a bunch of elves set their asses on fire to bring it back. Believe that, too?"

Bela clenched her teeth even tighter. God knew it took all her strength and self-control to remain calm. At least to make such impression no matter how far it was from the truth. She was in no mood to play games, not right now. Without giving him a chance to throw her out of the room she said:

"You help me and the Colt is yours."

Dean's eyes grew wide.

"Wow!" He blew out in amazement staring at her and trying to guess whether she was kidding or not. Not really, he concluded. "That's the hell of a deal!"

"I knew you'd go straight to the core, Dean," she smirked. "What do you say?"

"What do I say? Hm…" he pretended weighting her words. "I say let's put it my way – two bullets in your head and the Colt is mine."

"And how do you think you will find it?"

"I'll sniff it out." He flashed a brilliant smile at her demonstrating two rows of white teeth. "You know what, Bela? You really are full of surprises! Honestly, I didn't believe it that much when you first said it." He shook his head dramatically and then gave her a comical frown. "But, hey! Wait a minute! How is that possible? Just a couple of hours ago you said you sold the Colt."

"I lied." She confessed calmly.

"Terrific! I came to you and you said you didn't have it any longer. And I was supposed to believe you, right?" Dean made a long and meaningful pause. "Well, I did. You looked and sounded convincing with a gun pointed at your head. What else I've got to do? Now you come and say you still have it and yet again I am supposed to believe you. Let me guess what's coming next – we've got to fly to the moon for it!"

Bela winced.

"That's pathetic!"

"That's life experience, honey. And we both know that you can say anything – I mean ANYTHING! – to get what you want. No idea what is it this time but it's not gonna work. You are not using me again. Ever. I'm sick and tired of that. I'm sick and tired of you."

There was a moment, just a blink which lasted not longer than half a second that caught Dean's attention. And there it was – sorrow, fear, desperation, pity. Right there, in the bottom of her eyes. Something that Dean had never seen before and what he never expected to see. He wasn't even sure so far that Bela Talbot was capable of expressing such feelings at all. Not that it changed anything, but…

Bela swallowed hard. Her heart was pounding in her chest so fast and loud that she wondered in the back of her mind whether Dean could hear it, too. Her time was running out quickly and she couldn't do anything about it. She didn't want to die. Not now. Not like that. Not for what had probably saved her life and remains of sanity some ten years ago. She wasn't afraid to become dead. But she didn't want to stop living. Everything she had, everything she was… gone? Gone to Hell…

"I have it."

"Yeah, sure. And where is it?"

"In a safe place."

"In a safe place," Dean mimicked her. "Of course! Where else?" He rolled his eyes. "You're walking on thin ice here, you know? Maybe you're right; maybe I won't shoot you because they'd charge me extra for cleaning all this blood. Besides I like the room. But I can hurt you badly if you don't stop getting on my nerves." He leveled the gun.

What the hell was that? Panic in her eyes? It couldn't be… could it?

"Dean, please…" her voice trembled a little bit.

"We're long over with any 'please' here, babe," Dean cut her off. "What part of 'Go away' didn't you understand?" His voice was cold as ice. "Want to hear the truth? I know you aren't used to it that much but still… I don't believe you, Bela. Every single word you say is a lie. And I won't help you even if I can because I'm pretty damn sure you don't have the Colt any longer. And I have no other reason to spend even half a second of my time on you. I'm not about wearing myself out to help such a murderous bitch as you are. We've already been through this and not once. Whatever you got yourself into… it's your fault."

Bela stepped back like his words physically hit her.

"I knew it was a waste of time," she shook her head in regret.

"See? Can be a smart girl after all! Still lying, mean and manipulative, but smart."

Bela ignored his sarcastic retort. When she spoke her voice was quiet and bitter:

"You don't want to know how I got like that, Dean, believe me."

"Well, I'm sure you have a freakin' good tearful story for me or anyone else willing to listen about your lousy childhood. What was that, Bela? Mommy and daddy not give you pocket money for the bloody make-up?"

Her eyes narrowed.

"That's enough," she said firmly. "Don't you… You know nothing about me."

"Oh, sweetheart, I wish it was true, but unfortunately I know a lot more than I'd like to. And what I know for sure is that you were the greatest pain in the ass ever since you crossed our path. Thank God… oops, sorry! Thank Hell it's not gonna last for much long."

Bela froze.

"You know about my deal." That wasn't a question.

Dean didn't say anything but she could see the answer in his eyes.

"Than it wouldn't be a big surprise for you to know that I know about yours," she said.

"You're not leaving me any chance to stay mysterious!" He chuckled. "How did you find out?"

"She told me."

"She – who?"

Bela paused for a moment looking at the wall behind his back and collecting her thoughts. Here was her chance to say why she came to him in the first place.

"The demon that holds my deal. Her name's Lilith. She said she holds yours, too. She said she holds every deal."

Dean frowned.

"Why should I believe you?"

"You shouldn't but it's the truth."

"That's why you stole the Colt?" He looked at her suspiciously. "You were not going to sell it. You wanted to break the deal."

She nodded slowly and looked at him again.

"Yes, but not the way you think. I was not about to kill Lilith. I was supposed to give the Colt to her." When he didn't say anything and just started at her in pure shock she continued. "Yet, I didn't do it. She changed the deal. Just brining the Colt was not enough. She told me I've got to kill Sam."

Dean strained himself again. Did she really come here now to say she was about to kill his little brother to save herself? She knew – must have! – that he'd never let it happen. So… just logically… she came to eliminate the only obstacle from her way. Gosh, she couldn't be such a fool! Seeing her so close now without boiling outrage in his veins that he felt several hours ago, Dean could see how tired, even exhausted Bela looked. Now he doubted she even slept at all anytime lately. Well, killing anyone – even not a relative – seemed to be not such an easy decision for her.

"You should've known better than miss small print in the end of the contract." Dark forces were not trustworthy; he knew it better than anyone. "Why are you telling me that?"

"Because I'm not gonna kill anyone, Dean, not even for my own soul," Bela's voice broke. She felt tears forming in her eyes and knew that in no time she wouldn't be able to force them back any longer. "I'm not a murderer!"

Her last words made him laugh sarcastically.

"Oh, yeah, tell me that! No, wait! Tell it to your parents. They'd appreciate the joke."

Bela clenched her fists so tight that her knuckled grew white. Sharp nails cut into the gentle skin of her palms and that pain was the only reason that helped her stay under control. He couldn't have cause her any more pain even if he wanted. A couple of words were literary breaking her whole world apart.

Without saying a word Bela crossed the room and came to one of the beds. Dean's, she guessed when she first saw it. Not so neatly made as the other one next to it. He never seemed like the guy who cared a lot about any kind of comfort and order. Standing there she could feel the scent of Dean's shave lotion. It seemed so familiar that the feeling almost hurt. Aware of him watching her every move, she tossed the pillow aside. She didn't look at him but could nearly feel his eyes growing wide and his mouth opening and almost hitting the floor.

To be continued…